Bluey Toohey Makes It Happen

=

CHAPTER 1

Advertising creative director Katrina Cole was on the cusp of a meltdown. Her department was under notice it was in danger of losing a $3.3 million account because the client was alleging the branding campaign was not working.

The agency counter-claimed that the Genuine Cowboy Belts Corporation (GCBC) was at fault, it's sales and marketing arms were responsible for sluggish sales.

That finger pointing was rejected by the client as 'standing too close to the wall while pissing', an insolent and unprofessional response that had to be explained to Katrina who never in her fifty-eight years stood to pee.

Executive director of GCBC Bryce B Jones decreed he'd give A-zone Advertising two months to drive a turnaround through branding otherwise the agency would lose the account.

Katrina hunched over her restaurant lunch complaining to the agency's director of smaller business Gary Jones. But as Gary was amid a divorce, it was not difficult to guess where his mind was lurking. He threw in a few 'that's too bad', 'that's so unfair', 'clients are so uncompromising' asides just to let Katrina know he was sympathetic.

While Katrina blathered on, Gary rudely called his departing wife to see if she could be more conciliatory in settlement proceedings but the answer was explicit: 'Get fucked'.

And then it happened.

Katrina had closed her mouth because Gary had left the table for the men's room. She watched as he bumped into a big guy and bounced off him. She heard Gary's apology from where she sat, but not good enough. The guy wanted to fight.

"I not suicidal, I don't want to fight you," Gary protested.

"Defend yourself asshole 'cos I'm about to smack you one," sneered the big guy.

Patrons around them pack-pedaled on their chairs and a waitress scuttled clear.

And then a redheaded lean guy with an awful haircut and wearing blue jeans and a dirty jeans jacket stood and grasped the big guy's ready-to-launch fist.

The big guy's face turned purple. "My hand, you're squashing my knuckles, they are about to break," he groaned.

"Is this over or do I have to pulp your face?"

"No it's over. I swear."

Gary came crab-like back to the table, keeping one eye on the square up.

"Did you see that?" he panted at Katrina.

"I sure am watching."

"He's your front man."

"I know, Son of Tarzan. Did you notice his belt Gary?"

"Yes," Gary said and added he'd get the hero over for a drink.

"Thank you for saving my boss's teeth," Katrina grinned. "What's your name?"

"Bluey Toohey," said the guy, sniffing.

"Cute name. Your accent isn't American?"

"Nah, Aussie. I come from The Territory out of Katherine, a few hundred short of Darwin.

Already lost in this conversation, Katrina asked, "A few hundred what?"

"Kilometers."

"Oh."

Bluey grinned. "You appear to be struggling ma'am, should I confined myself to American English?"

"Oh yes please, even close to it will be appreciated. My boss here is about to order you a drink. An Imperial Pale Ale style beer for you being an International Man I'd guess."

"On the button babe... er I mean that's a very correct assumption."

When Bluey had tasted his beer Katrina asked, "What are your plans for the next few weeks?"

"I'll drift down Texas way. I was born here in San Francisco. My mom married an Irishman name of Toohey and a year later I was born to expand them into a family and they moved to Sydney. Dad was in shipping. I stayed behind in Aussie when they left after dad won a new position and reared myself."

"God how old were you?"

"Fourteen. I went up north and became an assistant cook for a sugar cane-cutting crew and then headed out to work with cattle."

"So you really are a cowboy?"

"Most of my working life ma'am. Your interest suggests you have a job for me?"

"You not only look intelligent," Katrina smiled. "Come back to our office and see what we do. Don't worry we have beer there."

As soon as Katrina stepped into the room, her arm clasped in the crook of a guy's left arm and he had both hands hooked into his belt. the smarter people in Katrina's team knew they were looking at Action Man: Tarzan, Marlborough Man, Spiderman, whoever.

They broke out into spontaneous applause.

"Thanks guys," she beamed, "This is Bluey Toohey who comes from a few hundred short of Darwin."

Everyone looked blank.

"Darwin Australia. He is American born but is a genuine cowboy from a few hundred short of Darwin."

Everyone nodded as if they understood. The word cowboy certainly scored with them.

Bluey asked, " Do any of your really know where Darwin sits?"

The blank stares became evasive except for a well-shaped beauty with long brunette hair and sparkling green eyes who smiled and said, "It's just over 300 kilometers north-east of Katherine where my English girlfriend emigrated to teach school but she now resides in Adelaide."

"Correct, come and give me a big squeeze darling."

Lacey Joplin came up and gave him a big squeeze around the waist.

"God, you don't have an ounce of fat on you," she said, obviously impressed.

"I only eat and drink enough to keep alive and healthy ma'am. Guess why the bulk of American's are plump?"

"I wouldn't know," Lacey smiled.

Katrina seized control "Well enough of this and thank you for your exhibition of friendliness Lacey. Come into Gary's office Bluey. We need to talk."

An hour later Bluey walked out holding a beer in one hand a copy of his contract in the other. He'd signed on with the agency to film sixteen sixty-second ads during the next eight months, knowing it could take a day to a day and a half for filming and he'd be required to remain on standby ready for re-shooting any segment and even to shoot from scratch if the client rejected the clip totally. During the filming week he was required to be within two hours on-call of the film studio. As well as being paid big money, he might be required to make public appearances, be interviewed by magazine journalists and to appear on local or even network TV as part of his contractual duties.

Apart from squeezing out more money Bluey had negotiated that Lacey be appointed his 'minder'.

"Why?" Gary had demanded when that condition was presented.

"Because I don't know America and don't speak American and so if I'm required to get anywhere fast I'd be next to useless without a minder."

Katrina said Bluey made quite a point.

"Agreed, but not Lacey. She's too expensive, being a copywriter. You may have your choice of clerical assistants."

"No, I want Lacey. Give her a notebook with wireless connection for the Internet. Then she can work anywhere at any time."

"You know about notebooks and wireless and the Internet?"

"Yeah, I come from Aussie mate. We weigh cattle out in makeshift yards a hundred or more kilometers from the homestead and communicate weights and ID numbers back to the homestead office via a portable satellite dish and using a diesel generator."

"Huh?" said Gary, gob-smacked.

"Okay, let's do as Bluey wants Gary and I'll include Lacey in our planning and development concept group."

"Ah yes, good idea. Who's going to tell Lacey?"

"Bluey," said Katrina instantly and Gary shot back, "Agreed."

* * *

Lacey swept her hair back, looked up and said, "You're staring."

"Was watching you typing. You're fast and with no notes I guess that's all creative?"

"It's my weekly report which actually becomes creative if I think my workload looks a bit light."

"Are those your own tits; I mean fair dinkum?"

"Yes and if you attempt to touch them I'll cut your dick off."

"Jesus Lacey, I was told American women are generally extraordinarily polite."

"Well I happen to be half English."

"Oh."

"On your bike. I guess that's also an English expression. It means shove off."

"You are going to be working with me as my right-arm woman. If you are dating a guy you'll have to ditch him."

"Says who?"

"Gary has assigned you to me and I reckon a boyfriend would impinge on my freedom with you."

"Impinge is a very unlikely word for an Aussie cowboy?"

"I've heard it used on radio weather forecasts back home when two separate weather fronts are likely to collide."

"I see. Well I'm not going to be gang-pressed into becoming your baby sitter. Now shove off."

Bluey gave her his best smile. "May I withdraw my original comments and start again?"

"I don't see why not."

"Lacey, beautiful lady. I'm being cast adrift with filming responsibilities about which I know nothing. I'll be expected to travel in a foreign land on promo visits in connection with our branding of product of the GCBC. I need a minder and ask you, nay I plead with you, to accept the position while attending to your present work on the move or in an office where we hole up. Whether you wish to socialize with me after hours is up to you. This job lasts for eight months and your current status in this office is preserved. I have negotiated a boost to your salary for the eight months by $25,000."

"May I think about it?"

"Yes of course. Take your time. Oh you are also to sit on the Cowboy Belt planning and development concept group."

"Oh god, that's a promotion in the direction I wish to take."

"Oh is it? Advise me by morning one-way or the other. The group begins work at 8:30."

"Bluey may I be hospitable and ask you to accompany me out to dinner this evening?"

"Yeah why not baby."

"It doesn't imply sex?"

"Who said it did?"

"I have no idea."

* * *

Lacey rushed home after work to deliver her news to her mom, dad and big sister Amy.

"A cowboy... you are going to live with a cowboy for eight months?" said her father. "I can't believe this. It's a con. No one but the US has cowboys."

"What about Argentina and Spain for starters?" Amy said. "It sounds like a brilliant career move to me mom."

"Indeed Amy but Lacey you are not to have sex with him. You have no idea where he has been."

"I never know where any guys I go with have been."

"Make him wear condoms and with luck it won't matter," said her dad and Lacey replied that actually she would be accompanying the cowboy to work and commissioned to guide him through America, not to put condoms on to him.

That last piece was ignored as sarcasm.

"But you've never been out of California?"

"Shhhh mom. Saying that could ruin my chances of doing this and earning permanent promotion."

"Yes dear. I hear you. What is this guy's name?"

"Bluey Toohey."

The family cracked up in near hysterics and Lacey stalked off to have a bath and get ready. She decided not to tell the family the cowboy was coming to the house.

Amy answered the door knock.

"Good evening ma'am. Are you Lacey's sexy younger sister?"

Amy almost melted thinking oh gawd Lacey, you lucky bitch. She kissed the guy and hauled him inside. Her parents were watching the President telling the nation on TV to expect tough belt-tightening times to begin to ease.

"Mom, dad. Meet Bluey Toohey."

Brenda looked at the slim guy in black with a black belt with big buckle and holding on to his black Stetson. "Ohmigod."

"No ma'am, a case of mistaken identity. I'm Bluey Toohey."

"Oh good evening Bluey," breathed Brenda, a hand resting on her chest was almost lost between heaving breasts. "Please call me Brenda."

"Hi you phony," Alec a steelworker-foreman grinned. "Slap it here pardner."

Alec was proud of his grip and squeezed. His eyes bulged as the visitor squeezed and Alec felt the sweat coming to his forehead and the rising need to scream. But the visitor relaxed his grip and in relief Alec said, "Welcome to our home cowboy."

Lacey swept into the room and a huge smile lit her face when catching the way her sister was gawking at the visitor.

Bluey eyed Lacey. "Go put proper clothes on."

"No you don't understand. This is trendy dressing."

"Won't your tits fly out?"

"Thank you for your concern Bluey and although you correctly have noted I'm not wearing a bra, the front of his dress has a built-in one so my tits as you call them should remain safely confined."

"You look pretty Lacey."

"Why thank you Bluey. I wonder why my own family doesn't compliment me like that?"

The family ignored her.

Lacey said, "Come on Bluey it's but a short walk from here to the restaurant. I am very eager to learn about my new job. With your arrival my career is blossoming."

"Oh that's good. How do you intend rewarding me?"

"You'll know as soon as I get you out of those clothes."

The family gaped.

Lacey pulled Bluey out into the hallway and he said cheerfully, "Goodnight everyone."

As they walked towards the restaurant Lacey said, "Bluey you must understand this. I was joking back there. My whole family is expecting I'll have sex with you."

"Well aren't you expecting that Lacey? You are built for sex."

Lacey almost teetered off her heels. "Oh god, back off Bluey. I want you to know that you and I must adhere to a professional relationship at all times."

"But where's the fun in that?"

"Search me. I've probed for an answer but have failed to come up with one."

"Lacey I suggest you just relax and be carried along by events. You'll know when to have sex with me. I'll leave it to your finely honed judgment."

"Oh Bluey, that was so romantically put. Impress me and I may yield to my disgusting urges."

"I certainly hope so Lacey."

At the restaurant Lacey was surprised Bluey waited until she sat at the table before she sat and didn't have to ask her was fork to use to eat the salad. Unable to contain her curiosity she asked, "How did you know what fork to use?"

"I noted which fork you picked up."

"But you weren't looking at me. You were looking at my... um. What?"

"The way to catch calves by hand is to go by them not looking at them but you then pounce. You learn to look cross-eyed. I can't wait to get my hands on your juicy-looking tits Lacey," Bluey said as the frosty-faced waitress arrived with Bluey's second beer. The waitress cracked up in laughter.

They walked to the Joplin's house. Initially Bluey put his arm round Lacey's waist and then seven times she removed his hand from cupping her right breast but finally sighed and left it there. The asshole made no further attempt to manhandle her.

On the front porch she pulled out her phone and called a cab.

"What do we do while waiting?" Bluey asked hopefully.

"Well kiss I suppose but I want you kissing me like a gentleman Bluey, no tonguing."

Lacey was astonished he didn't stick his tongue down her throat. His skin felt a little leathery but his after-shave was nice and obviously he'd shaved. She wondered what he'd be like to fuck.

The cab arrived. Bluey whacked her butt, jolting her forward a foot, and said, "Goodnight Lacey. You are a very couth person to enjoy dinner with."

Couth? God how big was his vocabulary?

"Goodnight Bluey and thank you for behaving like a gentleman."

He just grinned.

God his teeth were every bit as good as hers were, she thought.

Lacey went into her parent's bedroom where they were watching TV.

"Did you insist he wear a condom?" Brenda asked.

She kissed her mom and said goodnight.

He father drawled and said, "I bet he behaved like a gentleman."

"He did dad but I'm sure it won't last. Thank you for thinking good of him."

"With an iron grip like that he'd a real cowboy love. Watch he doesn't screw a breast off."

"Oh gawd Alec, you're such a pig," groaned his wife but laughing, Lacey raced around the bed to give him a hug and a kiss.

The Cowboy Belt planning and development concept group stood around the coffee trolley chatting and glancing at their watches. Lacey had been horrified to learn when she'd entered the room to be told Katrina had gone to San Diego and had appointed Lacey to be convener.

She said nervously, "Well everyone, our man is late but let's start. Please sit."

She was relieved everyone sat. All of them were senior to her.

"Well as I see it..." she began.

The door burst open and there stood her grinning cowboy in a black suit, silver and bone belt-buckle prominent, and wearing a white Stetson.

Everyone applauded.

"We shoot me in this get-up when I take Lacey to the Founder's Ball," he said, only to be told the city didn't have a Founder's Ball.

"Well it will when we organize it," Bluey said, "Americans are quick to celebrate apple pie and war endings, but ignore fundamentals like celebrating what those good people who laid the foundations did for their communities, but I know some communities haven't overlook their pioneers. Well The Founder's Ball will be the ending of our 16-shoot campaign. Here are the other fifteen events I have arranged in order, thinking like a cowboy and knowing how cowboys and city guys who wear cowboy boots and belts are likely to think."

Thirty minutes later the schedule had been approved and the other fifteen scheduled meetings had been abandoned and a Founder's Ball committee had been formed.

A week later with all the scripts completed and approved by director Gary Jones, but not referred to the corporation for approval, Bluey and Lacey set off in the pickup Bluey had chosen to buy for the series, a fully restored 1954 red F100 V8.

Katrina had convinced Gary to allow Bluey to do everything his way because he clearly had 'the complete feel' for this project and Lacey was told they could spend up to half a million bucks. During their road trip they would hire professional studios to do the set construction/support and filming.

It was late spring and the veteran F100 vehicle they were in received admiring looks wherever Lacey and Bluey went, making Lacey aware how Bluey excelled at interfacing with guys interested in the cowboy traditions. They drove from LA to Colorado and stopped for the night about half way at Richfield where Lacey had booked into the Travelodge.

"What type of accommodation have you booked?" Bluey asked as he turned off Interstate 70.

"Very nice I would think," Lacey said, blushing.

"I mean how many bedrooms"

"One."

He waited in vain for more information so asked, "How many beds?"

"King-size," she squeaked.

He shot a glance at her and she met his gaze. "Um you think it's time we did it?"

She hedged. "I'm thinking it is but it depends on you."

Bluey said he found it comforting that Lacey took nothing for granted. It made her so much easier to work with.

She turned scarlet. "But I have booked double accommodation for our entire road trip. I took that for granted."

"Oh I would have thought that was just intelligent thinking and, um, you thinking of keeping costs down to a reasonable level."

"Is that what I was thinking?" Lacey said, sounding confused.

They entered their room and Lacey was breathing heavily.

"Calm down," Bluey said, kissing her. "My dick probably looks what you are used to and doesn't go anywhere uninvited."

He felt the tension surge through Lacey so placed a hand over her pussy.

"Relax and open your legs."

She widened her feet and his hand went in snugly against her mound.

"There, all done. How does that feel?"

"Good. Um I apologize for being a bit damp."

"But I don't like dry pussies."

"What?"

"They need to be damp and the smell excites me."

"Oh god," Lacey said, grabbling and kissing him and forcing his mouth to open with her tongue. She was also thrusting against his hand.

Bluey grinning pulled away and said, "Come on, let's fuck and get you relaxed. I really want you to enjoy being with me and to enjoy my invasion of your body.

Lacey undressed quicker than he did and 'glowed' when he said, "Nice tits; now get that cunt uncovered."

She reached out and took his erection in her hand as soon as he'd kicked away his pants and briefs.

"Ooh, this appears fat and strong and hot."