Birthday Girl Ch 06

Hey Guys,

Apologies for the late submission, life has a knack of getting in the way sometimes.

I've used some creative license for this one so kindly bear with me; all the facts may not be totally accurate.

This is a work of fiction and no part of it may be copied or reproduced without the express permission of the author and a signed affidavit from the league of extraordinary gentlemen.

Seriously though, don't be a cunt.

Please don't forget to vote and comment, it's the only way for me to know how good (or bad) I'm doing.

Enjoy!

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I opened one eye just a crack from under my pillow and saw six fifteen in luminous green on the bedside clock. Letting my eye droop closed again, I pulled my blanket around me tighter and sighed as I wafted through the wispy clouds of slumber beckoning me back into their warm embrace.

Six fifteen. The numbers appeared before my eyes again and faded into the distance, merging with the clouds I was drifting on, getting lighter and lighter until they vanished completely. I felt an itch somewhere in the back of my brain. Something wasn't right, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I wanted to surrender to the calling of the sleep but there was a thorn in my side that kept pricking me, nudging me back towards consciousness.

Six fifteen flashed again. My eyes shot open like someone had rammed a plunger up my ass. In the next second my blanket was flying across the room and all the springs in the bed squeaked as I jumped out of bed as if it was infested with bullet ants.

Shit. Shit shit shit! I ran my hands through my hair staring at the clock. Six eighteen. They were going to kill me. They were going to castrate me and feed my minced remains to the dogs. How could I have let this happen? I had set six alarms for God's sake, what more was I supposed to do? Hire a marching band to play outside my house at five in the morning?

In case you were wondering, it's Friday morning. Yes, the day of the trip, and I was supposed to have been at Nicks place by a quarter to six so that we could leave by six thirty at the latest and avoid the traffic jam. Everybody would be leaving town for a small vacation since it was a long weekend and the highways would be clogged with mini-vans packed with screaming children and distraught parents.

I nearly jumped out of my skin as my phone rang. I blanched looking at the caller ID. This wasn't going to go well. I swiped to answer,

"Hello," I tried to sound like I'd been up for a while but no such luck, my voice was thick and gravelly.

The screaming that emanated from the other end forced me to keep the phone six inches away from my ear. It was Jenna. And she was mad. I only caught snippets of what she was saying since she'd gone supersonic. It was like listening to a bat.

"No good lazy........ piece of rotten......... I'm gonna kick your............ instead of five forty five........ six thirty you.......... better get your ass.......... swine...... get my hands on......... here now!" I could picture her bunching and pumping her fists as she said the last part.

There was a second of silence before I heard a deeper voice, "Brian?"

Putting the phone back on my ear I replied, "I'm on my way dude, just backing out the car, be there in five minutes, I swear."

"You just got out of bed, didn't you?" Nick said, sounding exasperated.

I could hear Jenna in the background saying she was going to whoop my skinny ass as soon as she saw me.

"Dude, ten minutes tops, I promise. I set six alarms man, I don't know what happened."

I was already in the bathroom, relieving myself and putting toothpaste on the toothbrush while holding the phone propped between my ear and shoulder. This wasn't the wisest of ideas. If the phone slipped it was going straight into the toilet.

"Everyone's already here, we're just waiting for you. Hurry up dumbass, or we'll be stuck in traffic forever."

"Wehn whinitz," I mumbled through the foam of the toothpaste in my mouth.

I got ready in record time. I showered like I was bathing in boiling oil, and was out in just over a minute, almost slipping and breaking my head on the bathroom floor tiles. I put on a pair of blue jeans, my favorite, and grabbed any random T-shirt that came in my hands. While donning it I stubbed my pinky toe on the foot of the bed and spent the next half minute cursing while jumping around on one leg and my head stuck in the neck of the T-shirt.

Unable to find matching socks I put on a grey one on my left and a black one on my right, hoping no one asked me to remove my shoes. Thankfully I had packed my bag last night before I had gone to bed, so I just grabbed it as I ran out of the house, throwing the bag in the back seat before getting into the car myself.

Halfway out of the driveway I slammed the brakes and looked back up at my house, eyes squinted in concentration. Had I locked the door? I think I had. No, no, I definitely had. I think. Cursing loudly I put the car in neutral, jammed up the handbrake and ran back to the house to check the door. I twisted the knob and Lo and Behold! It held. Of course I knew it would, as it always did, but if I hadn't confirmed it, I would have spent all three days with a nagging doubt at the back of my mind, constantly eating away at me.

I peeled out of the driveway and did a wheel-spin as I shot off in the direction of Nick's house, leaving rubber on the tarmac. I had gotten my beloved Celica back, as good as new, and I gunned it down the road like I was escaping from a stick-up. The others could have come and picked me up but we were supposed to leave the city in the opposite direction, so it would have been a wasteful trip to come get me then go back the same way again.

The journey of around twenty minutes to Nicks place on a normal day took seven minutes flat this morning, owing to the fact there weren't many cars on the road yet. I think I left a trail of dust all the way back to my house, my very own version of Hansel and Gretel. Skidding into the driveway, I had opened the door even before the car was at a complete stop, stepping out as the car halted just two inches behind Nick's electric blue Subaru Outback. I looked at my phone. Six forty. Nice. I felt like Michael Schumacher on pole position.

I sauntered into the house like royalty, head high up in the air, and spread my arms as I stopped just inside the door,

"Never fear, Brain is here," I said grandly.

I caught a throw pillow just before it hit my face and dodged as a box of chocolates nearly got me in the stomach. It sailed harmlessly outside the door, landing with a dull thud on the porch. This violence was just getting ridiculous, those chocolates could have caused some serious damage.

"Glad to see y'all too," I said as I threw the pillow back on the couch, then turning to face the firing squad.

They were all standing in a line, in various poses of impatience, staring at me. Was there a memo about the dress code that I didn't get? Apparently it was jeans and T-shirt day. Nick was wearing a grey T-shirt with blue skinny jeans and a light jacket on top. Jenna was wearing black jeans and a black T-shirt with an arrow pointing left printed on it ,and underneath it was written, 'I'm with stupid.' If you haven't figured it out yet, Nick was standing on her left.

Melissa was in green snug fitting jeans and an orange T-shirt with the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes in his usual grinning and drooling stance on it. She had a pink hair-band holding her hair up, and red headphones were lying around her neck, the cord disappearing into her pocket. Sally had on blue jeans with a pink 'Girl Power' T-shirt and Bill was in beige jeans and a red T-shirt with the Mustang horse on it, and a Ford Racing cap on his head.

"What?" I asked when no one spoke.

Melissa was trying to hide a smile and Sally was openly grinning. Nick was shaking his head and Jenna was glaring at me.

"What?" I asked again.

"You've worn your T-shirt inside-out dude," Bill said finally, lifting his arm halfway to point at my chest.

I looked down and confirmed what he was saying was true. Crap. I was worse than a two-year old. Next I'd find my shoe laces tied up together.

"I meant to wear it that way," I defended myself, looking back up.

"Of course you did. Are you going to flip it or what?" Nick asked.

"I told you, I meant to wear it like this. You guys don't know fashion." I wasn't going to agree I was in the wrong.

Jenna stomped over to me and grabbed the hem of the T-shirt trying to get it over my head as I struggled to get her off me.

"It's bad enough that we are late, but I'm not going to go around with someone who looks like a retard!"

"Ok! I'll flip it," I said as I pulled away from her. God, she was worse than my mom.

I turned around and quickly removed the garment and wore it the right way round.

"What are you afraid we're going to see? Your boobs?" Nick said as I was turned around.

"Bite me," I said, turning back to face them.

Once again, they stared. Now what? I looked down to see what was wrong this time and groaned as I saw it, throwing my hands in the air. In all the rush I had picked out one of my old Eminem T-shirts where he is openly and vividly flipping everyone the bird. I hadn't worn this for around five years, I didn't even know I still had it. It was a relic from a phase in high school where I had gotten it into my head that I was a gangster rapper. Picture a nerd with glasses, a skull cap, pants hanging below his ass and saying things like I'ma bust a cap in yo' ass, son! Somewhere in my box of old things I even had a chain with a clock on it. Thankfully that phase didn't last too long. I got out of it when I realized I couldn't rhyme red and bed in the same sentence. Word.

"Seriously?" Sally asked, pointing at my T-shirt.

I shrugged, "I was in a hurry, I didn't see what I'd picked out."

"Why do you even have it?"

"Educational purposes." I said, scratching my head.

"He was into rap back in high school," Nick sold me out. I heard a few snickers amongst the group. Traitor.

"You can change it later. If we delay any more it'll take us two hours just to get out of the city. We're already late, let's get moving," Bill said sensibly, absolving me from any further explanation.

We shuffled out as Nick locked up and I got my bag from my car. Bill's dad's Land Cruiser was sitting next to mine, pearl white and gleaming in the early morning light, the morning dew still stuck on the rear glass, forming a rainbow where a single ray of sunlight hit it through the trees. The car looked magnificent, I couldn't wait until it got dirty and muddy. Cars like this were meant to be used rough and rugged, like a Rottweiler, not pampered and groomed like a Poodle.

I turned back to the porch and saw three huge suitcases and two small bags sitting there that I'd missed when I'd arrived. It didn't take a genius to figure out which piece of luggage belonged to whom.

"How many of us are going?" I leaned towards Nick and asked quietly.

He looked at the luggage as well, getting my point as he said, "Just us six."

"How long are we going for?" I asked quietly again.

He held up three fingers.

"Why does it look like we are moving town?"

I felt someone tapping my shoulder and turned around to face Jenna, "If you're done gossiping can we get a move on?"

"What did you guys pack for? The apocalypse?" I asked, pointing at the suitcases.

All three girls started cracking their knuckles threateningly and I backed away, palms up, and picked up a suitcase, "Not that there's any problem, I mean we all got stuff we can't live without, I totally understand. For some people it's a clean pair of boxers, for others it's a washing machine."

The damn thing took all my strength to lift up into the trunk of the car. What the hell did they pack in there? Rocks? It was a good thing the car had enough storage space or we would have had to sit on the suitcases all the way there. After we loaded everything up, we got in. The girls had carried the food and water we would need on the way with them in paper bags. It was funny how they thought of such things. If it were guys only, we'd remember food when we were two hundred miles from civilization and the hunger pangs hit. Then we'd end up eating shrubs from the side of the road. And then boast about it like idiots afterwards.

Bill was taking the first shift and slid into the driver's seat with Sally as his co-driver. Nick and Jenna got into the middle seat and Melissa and I got the back seat. Awesome. Back seats were the best. The massive V8 roared to life as Bill turned the key and I felt the tingles of excitement run up my spine. I absolutely loved road trips. The excitement of hitting the road, seeing new things and stopping at random places always got me giddy as a kid with a new bicycle. And this time I had Melissa to share it all with so it was that much more special.

We all hollered and cheered like little kids on a bus as we set off. I checked the time and noted we were only half an hour behind schedule. Not bad actually. My track record showed I was always at least two hours late. Compared to that, we were practically ahead of schedule.

"Guys.....?" Jenna called out.

Everyone fell silent to hear what she had to say.

"I need to pee."

It hadn't even been five minutes since we left. The noise went back up as everyone started talking again, the guys chastising her and the girls sympathizing with her. In the end we stopped at a gas station to let her complete her business before continuing on our way. The girl had a bladder of a frightened mouse.

We managed to avoid most of the traffic build-up, being just ahead of the mass evacuation of the city. We settled down as we reached the outskirts of the city, the hustle and bustle slowing down gradually, the interval between passing cars increasing and we passed the occasional weathered 'Thank You, Come Again' billboard on the side of the road with the paint peeling off and a huge phallus drawn on it.

Melissa propped herself up on the side of the seat and put her legs up on my lap, one over the other, and locked her arms behind her head, closing her eyes and listening to the calming lounge music Bill had put on the car's audio system.

I absently massaged her legs lightly from her ankles to her knees, tracing the curve of her calves, while staring out of the window, watching the buildings becoming scarcer and scarcer, until all we could see were rolling hills dotted with the occasional barn or house. After a little while we started passing huge farms with large sections of well tended crops neatly divided by perpendicular pathways. Cows could be seen grazing in the distance and an occasional tractor trudging along carrying bales of hay and such behind it.

Looking over at Melissa I saw she was enjoying the music, nodding her head slightly in time with the tune, her eyes still shut. I indulged in my newest favorite past time of just looking at her. She would clench her eyes and furrow her brows in a cute frown when the sunlight would hit her face at an angle as the car meandered around the bends. Never one to sit idle for long, I started feeling mischievous. Starting at her ankle I started walking my first two fingers up her leg, humming the Pink Panther tune. I paused at her knee and waited for a reaction before continuing upward slowly, one step at a time. She cracked open one eye lazily when I reached mid-thigh and looked at me through her lashes. I backtracked slowly towards her knee and she closed her eye again. Immediately I started moving forward again and she smiled but let me continue my journey this time.

I passed her hip and crossed over to her belly and walked over it in random patterns, tracing the line of her jeans, across her waist, then back. She was squirming a little now, her smile growing bigger, moving her waist this way and that, trying to get away from my touch. Someone was ticklish. I pretended to trip as my index finger dipped into her navel and my finger-man stumbled and fell onto her tummy. She broke into a chuckle and I looked up to see her watching what I was doing in amusement.

"Having fun?" she said loud enough only for me to hear.

I shrugged and smiled. My finger-man struggled back to his feet and continued his trek up her torso, each step more grueling than the last as he got closer to the valley between the peaks. The Pink Panther tune was reaching a crescendo now. I could feel her tummy dip and rise as she laughed lightly to herself, her attention fixed on the man that was almost at her mountain range. And boy what a mountain range it was.

Just as the finger-man was about to put his first step on the gently sloping mound, his first step to untold glory, we heard a loud pop and the car momentarily swerved to one side, jolting us, before getting back on track. Everyone sat up as Bill slowed the car and maneuvered it onto the side of the road, switching on the hazards. The car was tilting slightly towards the right front and the sound of rubber dragging on the ground could be heard.

I looked at Melissa and saw a terrified look on her face, her eyes darting around and her hands gripping the head rest in front of her tightly. Reading the signs, I knew she was having a flashback of the other night, so I put my arm around her shoulders comfortingly.

"It's just a flat tire," I said calmly when she turned to me.

Her features relaxed and she nodded as she came back to the present, giving me a small smile to show she was ok. We got out when the car came to a complete stop and confirmed it was indeed a flat. I always say a road trip isn't complete without some sort of mishap. What's the fun if everything goes according to plan? Ok if you're robbing a bank or something I can see where deviating from the plan may have undesirable consequences, but for other stuff, I think a little spontaneity doesn't hurt.

We had stopped in the middle of nowhere, the land was flat and lush green for miles in either direction and there was no sign of civilization anywhere. It looked like it was grazing land, but there were no cattle in sight. A light wind was blowing and the grass was rippling in waves as the gust passed over it.

"Bummer," Bill said looking at the tire and rubbing the back of his head.

"Please tell me you got a spare," I said.

"Of course man, you really have to ask?"

I was relieved. You never knew.

As we changed the tire, our female counterparts decided this would be a good time to have a snack, so they spread out a blanket over grass just a few feet away from the car and got out the goodies they'd brought along. Several cars whizzed by and the occupants stared at us but no one stopped. I guess we looked competent enough to solve our car troubles.

It took us roughly ten minutes to complete the tire swap. I loosened the nuts as Nick set up the jack and Bill got out the spare tire. Once the car was up I removed the flat tire, Bill put in the new one and fastened the nuts as Nick lowered the jack and I inspected the tire.

"Aha!" I exclaimed as I found the culprit. A three inch nail was lodged in the middle of the tread.

Normally it would have caused a slow puncture, but maybe because of the speed of the car and the way it had lodged itself at an angle, it led the tire to pop the way it did. Putting all the tools and the tire back in their place, we joined the girls on the field. It was quite pleasant. We had a light snack of biscuits and coffee from a thermos while we stretched our legs on the blanket.

"How far are we?" Nick asked Bill.

"We've done a hundred miles so I'd say we're about a third of the way."

Nick looked at his watch, "It's a quarter past nine. We've made good time, considering the traffic we had to wade through in the beginning."