Birthday Girl Ch 04

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Enjoy!

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"One more!" shouted Nick slamming his shot glass on the table.

"Are you nuts? That was our fifth shot!" I said still grimacing from the remnants of the liquor going down my throat. I hate tequila.

We were at our favorite watering hole and from the looks of it, Nick wanted to get shit-faced. Figures, since Jenna was out of town for the weekend. What was that saying? When the cat is away... Whenever she was away Nick would try and relive our glory days from college. In other words, get drunk and act stupid. We had started off with beers but soon that wasn't enough for good 'ol Nick. I knew his choice of drinks, Jack Daniels when he was pissed off, Jeigermeister when he was feeling amorous, Vodka when he was a complete lunatic and Tequila when he had something on his mind.

"Bah! We used to have this for breakfast in our second year. Don't pussy out on me now Bry," Nick was already signaling for the next round.

"I'll call Peanut," I threatened. Peanut was my nickname for Jenna. Only I could call her that though, she'd go ballistic if anyone else tried, Nick even had scars to prove it, some of them in more private areas.

"Go ahead," he called my bluff, "you want my phone to call her? Oh and while you're at it, hand me the phone when you're done, I'm sure she'll love to know about your new pet unicorn."

"Dude, you promised,"

"So? You expect me to sit here and twiddle my thumbs while you sell me out?"

I knew it was a bad idea telling him about the unicorn but the euphoria at the time had blinded me. Nick had called me just as I was about to get home after dropping off Melissa and demanded we go out drinking. Refusing wasn't an option, I knew he would show up at my place and drag me out if I didn't acquiesce to his request.

"Dude just chill out, we ain't twenty two no more man, we can't drink like frat boys now," I complained, feeling the effects of the latest shot setting in. The waitress was looking much more appealing now. Wait, were those natural?

"I don't care. My boy went on a date!" he clapped me on the back, "Ha! Just imagine that. You. On a date. With a girl. Classic!" He chuckled to himself.

"Stranger things have happened,"

"You sure she hasn't run from a psych ward somewhere?"

I couldn't deny the thought hadn't crossed my mind. My hesitation was all he needed.

"You think so too!" he pointed accusingly.

"Yeah well, she laughs at my fart jokes so..." I shrugged, "you never know."

The shots arrived. Two little glasses of concentrated stupidity. Nick raised his glass,

"To pee..." he said in a deep voice.

"Or not to pee..." I replied in kind, raising mine.

"That is the question..." we finished somberly in unison and downed the shot.

It was a tradition since college whenever one of us needed to use the bathroom. This time it was the both of us. We staggered to the loo bickering utter nonsense, pushing each other and acting like total kids. Nick picked out a few leaves as we passed a flower pot and stuck them behind his ears.

"I am Caesar! Bow before me!" he said holding out one hand in front of him and standing in a regal pose, nose up in the air.

"Kiss my ass, Julius" I told him.

"Insolent fool!" he bristled, "Guards! Seize him!" he said pointing at me looking around at his imaginary servants beside him.

"Moron," I kept walking. It was best not to entertain Nick when he started crap like this. It could escalate very fast. I remember once he had watched a conspiracy theory show before we had gone out drinking. By the end of the night he was trying to convince building security the Lochness monster was lurking in the fountain in the courtyard and that Big Foot was trying to catch it with a fishing rod. Luckily the security guys didn't take him seriously and I managed to drag his ass out of there before he did some serious damage.

He followed hurling medieval insults at me until we reached the washrooms. We fell silent as we stood at the urinals reveling in the glory that only relieving yourself can bring when drunk. Even Caesar shut up for a while.

"Dude," I called out staring absently at the ceiling.

"Yeah?"

"Why do I get the feeling you're hiding something from me?"

Shake twice and put it away. No pee on me, score!

"What are you talking about?" he asked defensively.

It was all the indication I needed. He always got defensive when he was hiding something. Since we got here I had the feeling this wasn't just an ordinary drinking binge and there was something important he wanted to say. The fact that he hadn't mentioned anything told me he was waiting till he was plastered to spit it out.

"Spill it dipshit," I said washing my hands.

"What are you? Psychic?"

"I know you for ten years nitwit, I can tell when something's got your panties in a twist."

"My apologies Oracle," he bowed, "maybe you can also tell what finger I'm holding up in my head."

I shook my head. "Fine, have it your way," I said as we made our way back to our table.

Four shots later and my glasses were halfway down my nose, I had spilled beer all over my T-shirt and I was trying to sound like a rally car. Man, those Tequilas had some good after sales service. They had a delay, the high kicked in like half an hour after each shot. Enjoy now, pay later. Kind of like a credit card.

Nick exhaled then leaned forward and said quietly, "There's something I need to tell you."

"I knew it!" I shouted thrusting my arm in the air.

All the tables around us went silent as everyone turned and stared at my outburst. I lowered my arm slowly. Crap. Centre of attention. Not good. Need to create diversion. Now.

"My buddy," I pointed at Nick, "he's finally coming out of the closet," I improvised and then continued, "I had a feeling for years but he always denied it, and now he's finally coming clean. I love you buddy, no matter what!" I finished almost in tears as I gave him a half hug as the icing on the cake. The look on his face was priceless.

There were mutterings of '

Good for yous'

and '

Go for it mans'

as everyone turned back to their business, the volume going back up. I think I cracked a rib from the punch that followed. Caesar was mad. The wrath of Caesar was an all-consuming inferno that ravaged everything in its path. Everything being me, of course.

"I'm going to get you for that," he growled under his breath.

"You already did dickhead," I managed to squeak rubbing my bruised rib. That was definitely going to leave a mark. Totally worth it though.

"What was it you wanted to tell me?" I asked after concluding any more rubbing wasn't going to make the pain lessen any further.

"You think I'm going to tell you after that?" he seethed. People were still throwing him occasional glances, particularly a man sitting by himself in a corner.

I knew it was a bad idea but I called for one more shot each. That should calm him down some, and then I could wiggle the information out of him. Evil, I know, but what are friends for right?

"Dude, seriously, tell me what's up," I said after we downed the shot.

He thought for about a minute before getting up and jerking his head towards the deck, walking off without saying anything. Bastard always liked to be as dramatic as possible. He should have starred in a soap opera, Esmeralda and her lover Ramon battle against the world sustained only by their crazy accents and their love for each other. I got up and followed trying to walk as straight as possible without looking like I was balancing on a rope. Note to self: no more shots.

I found him standing by the railing staring at the cars whizzing past below. I wobbled up and stood next to him furiously resisting the urge to ask

So when's the colonoscopy?

Something told me he wouldn't take it very well. One bruised rib was enough for today. I watched the cars below as well, trying to recognize them as they flew past, a favorite hobby of mine. Mercedes, Toyota, Toyota, Toyota, Audi, was that a GTR? Back to Toyota, Subaru, Range Rover, Ford, Toyo-

"I've made up my mind," he began, "I don't think there'll be a better time and honestly I can't wait any longer. I'm going to do it."

I was cracking up inside thinking about the colonoscopy. "Will you stop being so mysterious and suspensy and just tell me what's going on?"

"I want your honest opinion on this."

"No, I'm going to lie to you, it seems like the wise thing to do."

"Dude-" he warned.

"Yeah fine, honesty, best policy, blah blah blah, get on with it already."

He turned to look me in the eye, "I'm going to ask Jenna to marry me."

I blinked twice, frowned, cocked my head, and then a grin slowly crept up my face as I finally digested what he had just said.

"What do you think?" he asked, "Should I do it?"

I knew my answer mattered to him, we never made big decisions without consulting each other first. We had saved each other from countless disasters in the past, both small and big. You'd be surprised how blind one can be to things happening right in front of their eyes when they're in too deep. It's always good to know there's someone watching your back, no matter where, no matter what.

"It's going to be one of the craziest weddings anyone has ever seen in a long time mate, I promise you that," I said as I shook his hand and gave him a one arm hug that guys usually give each other.

"Thanks man. Phew, that's a load off my chest, I didn't know whether I was making the right decision or not." He said as we parted.

"It's about damn time, you've been dating for what, six years now? I don't know any two people more suited to each other than you guys, and you guys are practically married in all but name anyway. She lives at your place, you fight like cats and dogs, you fart in bed and pull the blanket over her head and she still doesn't leave you, all that's left is signing that piece of paper. Dibs on naming your first kid though."

"Hell no! You think I want my kid to go around being called Aventador his whole life? And if it's a girl you'll probably name her Huayra or Zonda. No, I can't do that to my kids. "

"Screw you, they're all good cars, they should be proud to be named after them. And I'm naming your first born, whether you like it or not. I'll convince peanut."

He snorted, "Good luck with that."

"By the way," a thought suddenly hit me, "how are you going to propose?"

A sly grin crept up his face, "Why do you think we are drinking tonight?"

The same sly grin crept up my face. "Let the creative juices flow!"

We started thinking up different ways to propose, looking for something unique and original. Obviously we got carried away more than once, coming up with ridiculous outlandish schemes that made no sense whatsoever. Nick wanted to dress up like a zombie and scare the crap out of Jenna before proposing to her in the end. I thought he should get a thousand cars and line them up so that they spelled 'will you marry me?' Jenna was a kindergarten teacher so Nick thought of getting help from her little students but I thought that was too cheesy and if I wasn't wrong, it had been already been done in some movie. I suggested he should base-jump off the highest skyscraper around and have 'will you marry me' printed on the parachute.

On and on we went, the ideas getting more and more ludicrous as we kept trying to outdo the other. By the end of the night Nick had come up with one solid idea. Although he had meant it as a joke when he mentioned it, I saw potential in it and latched on to it, and soon we had tweaked it and improvised it to end up with a slightly difficult but doable plan.

"Are we really doing this?" Nick asked still skeptical.

"Yes. She deserves something special, you know it too, let's make it something she'll never forget."

"It's going to require some work."

"She's put up with your sorry ass for six years, it about time you do something for her."

"You know you're going to have to help me, right?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No."

"I'm only going to do it for peanut."

"Whatever you say man"

"Dick"

On the cab-ride home it the enormity of the situation finally hit me. Nick and Jenna were going to get married. Shit. The idiot I'd known since high school, with whom I had done most of my growing up, was going to get the old ball and chain. I had been present for the entire duration of their relationship and I would now see the culmination of their venture. When did we become so old? It was just the other day we were secretly drinking beer under the bleachers that we'd stolen from the gas station and sneaking out of the house at night to go to some hyped up party and driving around town without a license, hiding from cops in the bushes.

It was with these thoughts I fell asleep that night, dreaming that Nick had gone through with my idea of a thousand cars. Jenna slapped him and accused him of global warming and screamed she would never marry an enemy of Mother Nature. She then took Melissa's hand, who had popped out of thin air, and they both climbed up a tree to a small house built in the canopy and emerged wearing leaves around their private parts. They howled and beat their chest and leaped off, swinging from tree to tree on vines, disappearing into the foliage, only their howls to be heard in the distance.

Nick turned to me, "Should have gone with the base-jump."

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I had to park on the street outside Melissa's house on Wednesday night because there were two cars already parked in her driveway. One was her Q7, and there was a red X5 next to it. Seemed like their family was really into SUV's. I wondered who it could be as Melissa had mentioned her folks had flown off on a holiday to Europe the previous day.

There was no way I could have waited until the weekend to see her so I had offered to take her for dinner tonight and thankfully she agreed. I felt we now knew each other well enough for me to risk a more intimate setting. I still couldn't believe we had hit it off so well, subconsciously I was just waiting for the whole thing to blow up in my face.

I rang the doorbell and waited, looking down to see if everything was in place. I felt really awkward in formal clothes, not being used to this type of apparel. Jeans and T-shirts were my kind of clothes but Peanut nearly bit my head off when I let it slip I was taking Melissa to McDonalds for a burger. Obviously I was just yanking her chain, but she was already mad I had taken Melissa to an amusement park for our first date and didn't put it past me that I'd take her to Mickey Dee's for dinner.

A mind-numbing shopping trip had ensued, with her doing the shopping and me doing the tripping over bags of purchases. She dragged me, kicking and screaming, to the mall to buy decent clothes for the dinner. I sulked and threw a tantrum but to no avail, she was a woman on a mission and nothing could stop her. Jenna made me buy quite a few outfits, all her choice of course, in anticipation of future dates. According to her this was a chance for her to finally have another female in the group and she wasn't going to let that dream go, even if it meant stripping me and dressing me up herself.

So there I stood, dressed in a blue button down shirt, chinos and brown shoes feeling like a show-dog. Woof woof. I had received Jenna's stamp of approval before I set out so I knew I didn't look like a complete tool. The whole episode had been extremely amusing for Nick, and he didn't hesitate to offer his unwanted opinions. Asshole.

The door swung open and a curly haired brunette stood there smiling, wearing an apron over her dress. There was flour on her cheek and all sorts of sauces decorated her apron.

"Hi, I'm Kelly, Melissa's older sister," she said offering her hand for a shake.

"Ryan," I said shaking her hand and stepping in as she stepped aside and pulled me in.

Kelly looked nothing like her sister. She was definitely good looking, her curly hair framed her face perfectly and bounced as she moved her head, but no one would mistake them for sisters. I think she saw what I was thinking, "We don't look like sisters do we?"

I shook my head.

She whispered loudly, "That's coz she's adopted."

"I heard that!" yelled Melissa from somewhere in the house.

Kelly laughed and led me to the living room. It was beautifully decorated, with white plush couches, an exquisite glass coffee table and various glass and ceramic decorations strewn about the place artfully. The bull in the china shop image flashed in my head. I had a history of clumsiness so I navigated the room carefully, afraid of knocking something over. If this had been my house everything in here would be stuck together with super-glue or sellotape.

"My my, Melissa wasn't kidding, you really

are

cute," Kelly said as she looked me up and down and led me past the living room to the kitchen.

I was saved from replying by Melissa shouting "Kelly!" from somewhere. Man, she must have really good ears. Maybe she was an elf.

Kelly giggled and put on some mittens to retrieve something from the oven.

"I have to house-sit since mom and dad are not here and Lissy is going with you,"

"Lissy?" I inquired, suddenly very interested in what she was saying.

"Oh, that's Melissa's nickname. None of the family has calls her Melissa, sometimes we even forget that's what she's called, makes for some really awkward moments. Our principal in school once gave me a letter and told me to give it to Melissa. I asked him Melissa who? I think he believed me when I told him she was adopted." She said as she added some stuff to the meatloaf she pulled out of the oven. At least I think it was meatloaf, I couldn't tell a boiled egg from a potato.

I laughed along with Kelly at the story. I liked her, she was friendly and I could tell she could make anyone feel at ease with her, and that was saying something, since I hardly felt at ease with anyone in the beginning.

"Having fun?" Melissa was standing in the doorway of the kitchen with her arms crossed and one foot tapping on the floor like she was mad. She was wearing a little black dress cut low enough to show just a hint of cleavage and ending just above her knees and three inch black heels on her feet. Her hair was done up with a few tendrils left hanging behind her ears, caressing her neck. She was wearing a simple necklace with a small pearl at the end that fell just below her clavicle. She had applied a little make-up just to accentuate her natural look. I know it was a simple look but to me she was breath-taking.

Kelly used a finger to pick my jaw off the floor and closed my mouth. I looked at her and she winked at me knowingly. Busted. I must have looked like the wolf in those cartoons whose eyes pop out of his sockets and his tongue rolls out like a red carpet.

"You... you look amazing," I managed to croak out to Melissa.

"Thank you, you clean up pretty well yourself," she said as she scanned me appreciatively.

I was going to give Jenna a thousand kisses when I met her next. She was a life-saver, a miracle worker, a fairy god-mother if you will. I just hope I didn't turn back into a construction worker at the stroke of mid-night.

"Shall we?" Melissa said nodding towards the entrance. As she moved her head I saw matching pearl earrings dangling from her delicate earlobes. She really took my breath away.

As we stepped out Melissa turned to wish her sister goodbye. She was leaning onto the edge of the door smiling mischievously.