I was married with 2 kids, almost 30, but I was still "in school". Not really school, but a training program for doctors that worked me hard and hardly paid me. Enough that we could manage, but not enough for any luxuries. My wife did not complain, and I had so little time for anything but work that the low pay didn't matter too much. The problem was that I was horny all the time. I had never cheated on my wife, and actually didn't have time to spend with a "girlfriend", and even if I had plenty of money I would not have spent it on sex- because the joy of sex with a woman is her pleasure. So I would make love to my wife every night at bedtime, jerk off in the morning before I showered, and usually again in the middle of the day. While that may seem like a lot of wanking, it allowed me to focus on something besides thinking about getting off, and I had been doing this for years. Before I had married, I just jerked off a third time at night- so in a very real sense my sex life was very much better- plus I had a wife I loved, and now a family I loved. If you are wondering what this story is about, it is about to get interesting.
A doctor I worked with was leaving for a job in California- he had somehow been delayed and was "finishing" in the middle of the year. He had a wife and family, but he started telling me about his girlfriend. He had been a friend, but not a very close friend- we had not shared secrets or anything like that. But he shared this secret with me, because he "had to share it". He had a girlfriend at the hospital where we worked! She was a married nurse, and he was leaving her to go to his new job. But she had asked him to find out if I was "available". As soon as I got his drift, I explained that I was married and had no desire to "cheat on" my wife, I loved her. He laughed and explained that he had the exact same reaction when he had been asked about this 3 years before. "It's not what you think, he explained. The nurse involved is Denise. Yes, the Denise we both work with. The Denise we both admire and love and trust. The Denise who admires and trusts and loves us. She has a very intense sex drive, and she loves her husband, but she decided years ago to stop masturbating at work- and find sexual release with someone she loved, and someone she was pretty sure loved her.
I was at a loss for words. He knew I "thought the world" of Denise. She was beautiful, kind, hard working and simply made everything about every day nicer. Did I want to have sex with her- of course I did. So much I could not even think about it. I would never have done anything that might risk the wonderful relationship we had- and I knew she was married and had never heard a word about her being unhappy. Because she was NOT unhappy, she was one of the happiest people I have ever met. And maybe the only woman I knew whom I would trust to not do anything to harm me. I realized that I had been faithful" because I didn't want to ruin things- not because I thought there was anything "wrong" with having sex with "other women". Actually I didn't know, I was just too worried that somehow I would spoil a wonderful marriage- so I had just assumed I did not deserve anything more than what I already had. Which was a lot!
He explained that Denise trusted me, but didn't approach me herself because she didn't want to pressure me, or have me have to "reject" her. She had Jim do that for her because he was leaving, and she trusted him totally to be discreet. I was going to ask for time "to think about it", but before I could ask for time, I just said YES. I realized that this was a perfect opportunity for me to add love and excitement to my life- with almost no risk at all. I wondered how we would find time or places to be lovers, but I didn't wonder much- I already sort of loved Denise and looked forward to working with her. I had never touched her sexually, and I realized I was already excited about the very idea of that.
And I realized that Denise had been with Jim for years, so she clearly had found ways for them to provide satisfaction to each other. I also realized that for the past several months, Denise had found ways to spend time talking with me about "life" and "love" and "family"- it had all seemed to be simply conversation because I had decided to not ever risk causing trouble- but now I discovered that it was not going to be trouble- it was exactly what Denise wanted for herself. And the idea that she wanted me to provide excitement for her was as exciting to me as anything ever had been. I realized that Jim had been giving me some details and I had been daydreaming about Denise. I wondered if there were details I should ask him to repeat. I apologized and explained that I had not been listening. Jim laughed and said, "I know how you feel. I truly do. I felt the exact same way when her last lover told me she was interested in me- you never met Ed Williams did you? I hadn't, but Jim thanked me and told me he would relay my agreement to Denise. Suddenly I was afraid I had "agreed" to more than I could manage- but too late to say anything to Jim and sound like a wimp.
You are starting tomorrow on the Surgery service Denise supervises, so don't be surprised if she is even nicer to you that she usually is. I spent the rest of that day smiling, wondering how this was going to work out. And my wife Marge must have noticed because after we made love than night she commented on how "sexed up" I was- and asked "what happened today to get you going". I laughed and said that she was sexy enough to get me going every day and every night. "Well maybe that explains half of it, but if you don't want to tell me, that's OK."
Wouldn't it be nice if I could tell her? But tell her? What? I hadn't done anything. I just had a lot of wonderful ideas about what could happen. Already my sex life was totally different and yet it was exactly the same. How much our brain rules our emotions.
The next morning was exactly the same as any other day, but it did NOT seem the same (and of course I did not jerk off in the shower!) How silly was that? Did I expect to get laid before noon? I guess maybe I did- I knew I would feel edgy all morning as a result, but I wanted to have all my sexual tension ready for whatever Denise decided for us.
Before noon, I found myself standing around during a procedure by a surgeon who needed some equipment sterilized, so we were simply waiting. I was helping do the anesthesia, and everything was stable. Denise came into the room and checked with the surgeon, then checked with me. All professional conversation, until she came closer, leaned close to my ear (nobody was near) and whispered, "I am so delighted you are going to be my new lover." She stayed close and looked directly into my eyes. There are wonderful good feelings that really can't be described. We were not touching, we had never kissed, but it was like the world had become a far far better place than it had ever been. The past day had been so amazing for me- but actually nothing had changed except my mind. My euphoria was to persist, even as every day did change. Each chance we had, we touched, or kissed, or sometimes only bumped. Not just sexual touching, but all kinds of casual touching, and the looks. When I looked at her, I saw LOVE... I knew she wanted to love me and she wanted me to love her. But we could wait. When she looked at me, I knew what she was thinking, but also I trusted her. She didn't just want pleasure, she wanted pleasure FROM ME, because it was me, a unique individual she admired and loved- even as I knew I would eventually be replaced by someone else if the future did not allow us to stay together.
