Thank you for coming along for this ride. I've enjoyed writing it and reading your feedback and thoughts for each chapter. I loved this couple from the first and I'm happy that so many of you feel the same way.
This story, as you might or might not guess, was partially inspired by the past several months I've been living with a single parent and three-year old kid in the apartment above mine. Although, they are nowhere near as nice as any of my characters and certainly have made little to no effort to curb their noise levels. It's been frustrating, to say the least. So in that spirit, I did want to make one comment, or suggestion, whatever you want to call it: if you live in an apartment building, with someone else living in the unit below you, whether or not you have kids, please be considerate and aware of your noise levels. Yes, kids will be kids and they're allowed to have their fun but everyone is entitled to some kind of peace in their own home. Some people may or may not be as understanding as I am (and believe me, I'm being far more understanding than my upstairs neighbor deserves) but it doesn't hurt to be considerate and kind to those that live around you, and you can do that without taking the fun away.
There. Done. I'll get off my soapbox now and let you get on with the story. Note: have tissues ready. ;)
As always, take care and happy reading! M.
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To say Charlotte didn't sleep well that night would be an understatement. She didn't cry after her attempt to end things amicably with Alexei. She washed her face, brushed her teeth, and crawled into bed after he'd left, all the while replaying their fight in her head. Was it even a fight? She'd broken up with him, and he'd refused to accept it. No, she'd tried to end things. Hadn't she?
But the things he'd said-- Did he mean them?
Her heart skipped around in her chest when she realized the truth. That he never said anything he didn't mean. He hadn't since the day they met. And she'd tried to cut him from her life? Cart before the horse indeed. Maybe she should have listened to Ursula.
But no, ending things now, before they'd really become attached, was better. Right? It had to be. It would have hurt far more if this had gone on for another year. Or two.
Rolling over, she pressed her hot face to her cool pillow and tried to sleep. Zoe would be up early enough as it was and it was going to be a busy day.
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Christmas morning was as chaotic and loud as it always was with Zoe. Charlotte sat back with her morning coffee and grinned as Zoe enthusiastically went through her stocking from Santa. After the furor died, she made them breakfast of French toast and bacon, and then they watched a movie together before getting ready to head to Sarah's mother's place.
Yes, it was a great day but the big, gaping hole in the center of Charlotte's chest told her it wasn't right. As she sat in the middle of the living room hours later, with Sarah and her lovely family surrounding her, Charlotte knew deep in her bones that she'd made a colossal mistake.
She didn't want this anymore, this brave face as she spent time alone at friendly parties and the like. She wanted Alexei beside her, holding her or taking care of Zoe across the room. She wanted everything he'd said to her the night before when she'd been trying to let him go.
Had she lost her damn mind?
As her lips began to tremble, Sarah sat down next to her, the couch cushion bouncing under both of them.
Her friend started to hand her a glass of eggnog, but stopped when she noticed Charlotte's expression. A minute later, Charlotte found herself bustled into a guest bedroom on the second floor, the door closing out the noise of the rest of the family gathering.
"Talk."
Charlotte looked up at Sarah as she perched on the edge of the bed. She let out a shaky breath. "I broke up with Alexei."
Sarah shook her head, her mouth opening and closing a couple time before she managed to speak. "I'm sorry. It sounded like you said you broke up with Alexei."
"I did. Last night."
"No." Sarah crossed her arms over her chest. "That can't be what you're saying right now, not when you and I both know he's perfect for you."
Charlotte covered her face with her hands but the tears came anyway. "I'm so stupid, Sarah."
Her friend sighed and sat down next to her, one arm going around her shaking shoulders. "Okay, start at the beginning. What's going on?"
Charlotte tried to explain through fits of tears and sobs but by the time she stopped, she only reaffirmed what she'd realized downstairs in the living room: that she wanted a life with Alexei and she should never have let him go.
"What am I going to do?"
"Oh, sweetie." Sarah tugged her closer and pressed a kiss to her head. "You've managed to work yourself up into quite a state, haven't you?"
"I thought I was doing the right thing. Alexei can do so much better than me." She sniffled and wiped her cheeks.
"Why would you think that? You're funny, smart, hard-working, a wonderful mom." Sarah sat back and half-turned Charlotte to face her, hands on her shoulders. "He'd be crazy not to love you."
"I don't want him to wake up in ten years and think he's made a mistake in settling for me."
"Charlotte Woods. I could smack you right now."
That startled Charlotte out of her tears for a moment. Sarah was blunt, no doubt, but she'd never threatened violence. It made her smile, even if it wasn't genuine.
"How about you let Alexei decide for himself what he wants?"
"Okay, so sure, he wants me right now. But I don't know if he'll feel the same in ten, fifteen, twenty years."
"Good lord, no one knows that going into any relationship. We don't even know if we'll still be friends in ten years."
Charlotte gasped and threw her arms around Sarah. "Of course we will!"
"Yeah, well, it's because I'm so fabulous." Sarah squeezed her back before pulling away again so she could look Charlotte in the eye. "But this thing with Alexei, I get that you're spooked. You've never been in love like this before. You've been on your own for so long, you've tricked yourself into thinking you can only do this alone, and you're wrong."
Charlotte had no ready response to that.
"It can be scary giving your heart to someone, of course, but you can't cut it off before you get hurt. That never works." She tilted her head, giving Charlotte a pointed look. "Are you feeling unhurt right now?"
"No." Charlotte rubbed her chest. "I feel like I scrambled my insides with a rusty knife."
"And I can guarantee Alexei is feeling the same right now."
That made Charlotte crumple into Sarah's hold again, fresh tears starting all over.
"He's never going to forgive me. I'm so damn stupid."
"No, you're not." Sarah rocked her and set her upright again to dry her tears. "Now, I'll give you a few minutes to pull yourself together. Why don't you call or text Alexei? Tell him you want to see him tonight."
That made Charlotte start crying all over again. Stupid, selfish, stupid. What had she been thinking? Poor Alexei was all alone on Christmas because of her idiotic attempt at a break-up the night before.
"He won't want to see me ever again." Even as she said it, thought it, she was pulling her phone out of her pocket.
Sarah stood up with a smile. "No. You told me what he said last night. He's never letting you go, sweetie, and you're only a fool if you keep trying to push him away."
Charlotte watched her friend leave and stared at the closed door for a long minute before drawing in a shaky breath. She didn't know if she could talk to him without bursting into tears again, but she didn't want to send a text. He deserved better than that.
He answered on the first ring.
"Charlotte."
She closed her eyes and let out the breath she'd been holding. She'd been half-expecting him to not answer and still knowing he'd always take her call.
"Merry Christmas."
A pause. "Merry Christmas,
lyubov moya
. Are you having a nice time with Sarah and her family?"
