Becoming a Countess

NOTE: Set in the UK - so spellings etc are UK.

CHAPTER 1

Autumn leaves, at least the more upright ones, ran across the terrace outside the family room like retreating soldiers on invisible legs, disarmed and their commander-in-chief being the unseen ruthless wind. No leaf would be spared the rout unless caught in an entanglement and what fate was that?

Looking at those leaves reflectively and aware her fate at worst might be banishment rather than execution, Tessa Tom – known to her parents as Teresa – waited for her recently arrived-home parents to come down after changing into their 'at home' clothes to find they still had one daughter at home and she had some disturbing news.

Her mother Agnes swept in first, bra holding her up much too high for her natural physique, but nevertheless looking rather deliciously pointed in her soft top for a woman of her age. Below the hem-swinging pleated brown skirt were sensible black stockings and lambs wool slippers, great for early winter.

"The fire, the fire darling. Why didn't you turn it on with one click of the thingy? It is gas and you don't have to mess around with paper, kindling and matches."

"Sorry."

"Oh dear. Not upbeat on this dreary late afternoon are we?"

"No."

Her father Avery came into the room, smart in his tight black tracksuit advertising some brewery and wearing thick socks, no slippers.

"Oh hi TT (Teresa Tom). Ball-breaking gin for your mother, best larger for me and for you?'

"Mineral water thanks."

"Darling, are you all right?" asked Agnes, who really played rather well at being mother when she was not drunk, not shagging someone else's husband or one of the gardeners and was actually in the house.

Holding together. Tessa said, "Mineral water please dad."

Husband and wife exchanged glances highlighted by raised eyebrows.

"Darling may I be of assistance? God I hate the English winter. We should be in our resort house in Fiji."

"Wait till we have our drinks mother. I have something to tell you both."

"Oh god, you're not going off to America to chase after that university guy?"

"His name is Professor Tony Saunders mother, as well you remember but disliked because he was interested in your youngest daughter rather than you and that was his duty considering I'd brought him home."

"You can be such a bitch at times TT. Where's my gin Avery?"

"Here darling, keep your knickers on. No doubt they are your winter woollies." He was ignored.

"So you're giving up your ambition to run our estate after my commitment to put you through that expensive agricultural degree course?"

"No daddy. I love the farm and results under my stewardship will improve once I obtain and apply the new knowledge."

"Lady Tom, may I serve the cheeses and biscuits."

"Yes thank you Jenna. I imagine it's warm in the kitchen this evening?"

"Yes, lovely indeed."

"So I guess stuck in the warmth there you had no thought about our comfort and did not turn on the heating in this room at 3:00 as requested?"

"Oh ma'am, I'm dreadfully sorry. I shall run for more heaters."

"No, leave the tray and get out, closing the door beyond you. Consider yourself reprimanded."

"Yes ma'am."

The dark panelled room with the gas fire looking incongruous in the huge walk-in wall fireplace had its silence broken when Agnes, wife of the wealthy wine merchant Sir Avery Tom, said, "Are you ready to emote Teresa?"

"Yes," said the 18-year-old. "I'm pregnant."

"Fuck," said Agnes and her husband told her to watch her mouth.

"I'm sorry darling," he said to his daughter. "What now?"

Tessa appeared rather bewildered. "I thought you'd answer that."

Agnes and Avery looked at each other and shrugged.

"Well, we treat this exactly the same as a business transaction," Avery said. "We'll call in a business consultant to assess the pros and cons of keeping on the existing course or changing direction."

"But your father doesn't see the possibility of sending you to Ireland to be placed under the care of nuns, do you dear?"

"No, of course not. The first thing is to establish whether there is a baby."

"There is. My pregnancy test kit confirmed."

"That's cheap crap darling. Tell her Avery."

"I'm having you tested by the appropriate medical specialist."

Tessa sniffed, her mind still reeling with the enormity of the situation in which she now found herself. "Our vet lives closer."

Avery looked thoughtful but was influenced by his wife's horrified look. "The medical specialist please Tessa."

"The next step is to crucify the bastard who did this to you and then, if he survives, to make him marry you."

"Mother, you can't savage a guy just because one of his robust sperm thingys got through. It isn't fair."

"I'll be the judge of that. Whose baby is it?"

"Mum, this is embarrassing. Do I have to tell you in front of daddy?"

"Christ, you don't mean..."

"Mum, keep calm. Of course it's not daddy."

Avery coughed as if to check his manhood. "Your mother is such a loose canon baby you best tell her in my presence."

"Only if you don't censor me. In fact I want no comment at all."

When her parents nodded, Tessa said, "I was in this bus coming back to Kinkton and we became fog-bound. I being the volunteer tea lady was the only female on board so we found a way to occupy ourselves. I think most of them wore rubbers but not the manager, the bus driver and a few of the lads, rather a few possibly because some came back the second or third time."

"Oh shit," said her mother who gulped down most of her gin.

"It's not as bad as it sounds daddy because it was not a team of fifteen members plus reserves and all support personnel but rather a seven-aside team of seven members, two reserves and three officials."

"That's a relief darling, not a complete coach load of randy men."

Tessa lost her cool. "You guys are treating this matter without sufficient dignity. If you two can't talk to me and work this out, just the three of us, I'm calling in granddad to conducting proceedings to secure family unification."

Grandfather was The Lord Rainston of Heath, a former judge of the Court of Appeal.

"My father-in-law has no right to be involved in this matter Teresa and I'll not have him in my house, er your father's house, in respect of this matter."

"If I ask granddad to come he'll come 'cos I'm his grandchild and this will be his first great-grandchild," Tessa said defiantly. Either you two help me sort this out in a helpful manner or else..."

With a smile radiating from her like a halo, Agnes said, "Now, now darling. Please do not upset yourself over this. This birth, if it proceeds, will make the old coot, er your grandfather, very happy so we should keep the surprise from him till the right moment. Oh that would make me a grandmother. Have you thought about abortion?"

"The baby within me stays mother, so get used to it. The way in which your other three daughters and your son rut it's likely babies will be harvested in numbers before too long."

"Woe is me, an imminent grandmother," Agnes sighed, finishing her gin and holding out her empty glass.

"Ladies, we have forgotten something. Although it sounds like fifteen perhaps fewer guys were on that bus anyone of them could claim parentage and make a claim on our assets for his baby, claiming fatherhood and asking for it to be confirmed by blood test."

"Thank you for that daddy but I would prefer not to have a part-time footballer who is a drunkard to be the father of my baby. I thought I might look around for a lower-level peer and invite him to assume the responsibility of fatherhood and marry me"

"The peerage you say?" said Agnes. "A major elevation within our family could bring us closer to the Queen."

"No, not that high. I don't want royal watch magazines reporting every time I go to the loo and attempting to figure out my baby's line of ascendancy to the throne."

"Oooh, but I would darling because I'd be widely recognized as the mother. What about ten thousand pounds as an incentive?"

"Daddy, don't allow mummy to spend your money like that."

"Agnes, I forbid you to spend my money like that."

"Fuck."

"And I forbid you to swear like that, even when frustrated."

"Give her another gin daddy. All this tension is making her sober."

"Look ladies, as I see it we must welcome this baby into the manor house from this moment with love and affection, to help it to grow and to ensure when it decides to arrive that it has a blemish-free transition into this world, with mother prospering."

"Mummy, do you have your stance on this issue?"

"Yes, I accept what your father has just said. Bring the kid on."

"That Teresa is actually pregnant has still to be confirmed dear."

"Oh yes, and then nine months' wait is a long time," Agnes pondered. "You'd think by now gynaecology would be able to fast-track the delivery of a perfect baby."

"This is a baby I'm carrying mother, not a supermarket product."

They agreed to continue talking over dinner.

* * *

Tessa heard cars arriving and looking out her bedroom window realized what was going on. She had been medically confirmed as being pregnant so her mother was calling a family conference and she hadn't been invited. Well she had expected that from her mother and went down into the now empty kitchen and opened the serving hatch slowly and quietly and could hear her mother saying that Teresa was pregnant as the resulted of being fucked by a busload of footballers. Yes, her mother used the F-word and it produced shocked gasps, and that would have been her intention.

Tessa thought her mother was far better at having affairs than she was at attempting to control family business. She couldn't even persuade their father to attend this meeting of the long knife wielders and that rather pleased Tessa who knew father was more dependable than her mother and exercised his brain more and undoubtedly had more to work with.

Now she couldn't believe what she was hearing – Carol, Katherine and Robyn complaining about Tessa being the first to become pregnant when she should have been the last because she was rarely seen with a guy.

"Well she makes up for lost time by taking them on by the busload doesn't she?" Peter said spitefully, making Tessa wonder yet again was he gay. Robyn and Katherine were married but until now probably had attempted to remain in the workforce rather than become pregnant. But no matter how intensely they fucked to conceived it was unlikely any child would born before Tessa's, very unlikely. Carol had been fucking anyone, anywhere on Friday and Saturday nights for years without being on anti-contraceptives and so far without being impregnated. It was a class act, she lied about not being protected or she was unable to have children. Who knows? Who really cared when they gang up on her like this, Tessa thought.

Nothing was said over breakfast about this meeting until Tessa brought it up. "What did the family say about my misdeeds?"

"Your misdeeds?" her father asked and turning to scowl at his wife who turned brick red.

"Er just an informal gathering dear, just to let the girls and Peter know."

"Why have the meeting when you knew I'd be at the pig breeder's annual dinner and why wasn't Tessa not the one to deliver the news?"

"Um, I thought it would upset her too much."

"Who, Tessa? She'd got more backbone than the lot of you put together, especially you."

Agnes began crying and ran from the room.

"Gutless wonder. For the life of me I don't know how she has the guts to commit adultery."

Tessa thought of saying cock addiction, carnal greed or perhaps it runs on the female side of the family, but instead said, "Yes dad." He smiled appreciatively and said she always had been a wonderful listener and an expert communicator.

As they finished he said, "Right, let's get you into the warmest sunniest room after ours and plan for the nursery in the next room."

"The best room is the guest room but please allow mother in on the decision making; I don't want to get offside with her."

"I agree. Get offside with her and you're fucking dead."

"Daddy, there goes the F-word."

"Oh really. I apologize my darling. You know your mother debases the English language and I'm afraid it's quite catching."

"If you fucked her more often daddy perhaps she wouldn't stray so often."

"Give me contact phone number for your football team darling."

They laughed and laughed again when Avery pointed to the closed door of his wife's bedroom and said, "She's probably planning her next assignation right now to get back at me."

"Assignation? I thought she'd prefer a seduction daddy."

They laughed their way along the passage to the stairs.

* * *

Tessa commenced her first year at the agricultural college as planned before her bus escapade to study for a degree to qualify her in her best practice farm management. She decided to continue for as long as she could and then to make up what she missed in perhaps the three weeks she'd be away for the birthing if all went well. He father had agreed to provide Tessa with a day nurse as soon as it was fit to leave the baby in her care. When the baby was fifteen months old he or she qualified to go into childcare at the university.

Believing it wise to be open, Tessa had written a note that she was pregnant when enrolling. She was invited to a meeting at the university she and her father met the university's medical officer of health and the meeting proceeded smoothly. She was advised to stay well away from birthing ewes and lambs and stay at a distance when cows were being herded and milked. The MoH said, "I am pleased to say I find you're a level-headed and calm young woman. You are not banned from doing anything within reason or going anywhere. These are just sensible precautions against the possibility of harming your unborn baby. Your personal rule Tessa is to take reasonable care at all times and that includes riding on farm vehicles. We do have very high safety standards here so I'm not unduly concerned about your welfare now I've had this opportunity to assess your character. I shall get one of my assistants to send you helpful reading material."

"Well dad, I'm a free woman on campus. I was worried they might stop me going near animals altogether. I've done lambing for years and we don't milk cows so anything I miss from not being close up won't affect us."

"But don't forget information-gathering needed for examinations."

"Oh damn. Well I better ensure I maintain a close watch on my no-go areas. Dr Chivers said my file would be endorsed accordingly and lecturers were unlikely to allow me into unsafe areas. The lecturers may be kind enough to give me résumés of what I didn't see."

* * *

At the opening lecture, Tessa was rather taken aback by the male students built like bricks and the five females also had ruddy complexions and thick necks. Not thick heads she hoped. She presumed these were the product of countless generations of farming people, adapted by their environment. There were also some 'country estate' people who looked as if they'd arrived direct from London. She looked around for the best looking guy who was not toffee-nosed – a guy with short sandy hair, a great tan and an awesome body and she almost blushed when she saw him lick his lips as she approached him.

"Hi, I'm Tessa Tom from 80 miles southeast of here. Are you taking BSc Agriculture?"

"Yes, hi. I'm Davis Masters and I'm from just less than 50 miles south of here. Pleased to meet you. Are you wanting to be my study buddy?"

"I haven't thought about it. Could we talk about it later; there is something I must tell you?"

"Yeah, right. They are about to talk on the nuts and bolts stuff."

After the inaugural lecture, Tessa and Davis sat drinking tea.

"What was it you wished to talk to me about?"

"Um Davis, I'm pregnant."

"Is that all? I thought you must be dying and wouldn't complete so wouldn't be a great study partner."

"Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Of course not, even if it's your father's"

"Christ Davis."

"Oh hell, sorry. How stupid and unsympathetic."

"Thank you. Well it's not. I was caught up in a groupie, voluntarily, and one of the guys sank me. I just slipped up."

"Bad luck, so you don't know which guy it was?"

"No and I don't want to know and don't want them to know."

"If it's any consolation they are unlikely to know or even guess, even if they see you filled out in front. Guys tend to have short-term memory loss over past deeds."

"Really? My doctor didn't tell me that."

"Was booze involved?"

"Very much so."

"Well I've been there, done that. Your baby's daddy will remain anonymous unless you raise a rumpus."

"I won't be doing that. You weren't on that bus were you?"

Davis grinned and said, "I'm going to like having you around. What does daddy do?"

"He's a big-time wine merchant. I'll fetch some samples if you'd like that. I'm off booze for the sake of my baby."

"Oh yes of course. Samples would be appreciated – reds, French.

"Done. What does daddy do?"

"We have three farms and he owns businesses."

"Good for him. If you do come home with me I should point out my father is a lowly knight for services rendered to trade and industry while her ladyship sees herself elevated above him. Sorry but it's the way some women go. 'Risen above her station' as authors used to write in bygone eras.

"Dad must be like your father; he keeps his head down."

"Does he also have a knighthood?"

"Quite a lot higher I'm afraid Tessa, a marquess."

"Oh god."

"And it gets worse, with me being the elder son."

"Oh god, an earl."

"Yes and keep this under your hat. I'm the Earl of Magellan, using one of my father's titles."

"I promise I won't tell mother. She'll lick your boots. No, you mustn't come."

"I must. We need to decide which farm to use as our joint study – your folk's farm or one of ours."

"Oh shit. Then you better come home this weekend if it suits. Let's get it over with."

"Right, I'll call mother to get my weekend leave pass. What are your sleeping arrangements?"

"I have temporary accommodation. I think the draw and allocation is this afternoon."

"Yes it is, but what I mean was do you wish to sleep with me?"

"You're forgetting Davis, I told you I'm pregnant."

"So?"

"You still would like to sleep with me...um to have sex?"

"I was thinking rooming with you but if sex is on offer I answer yes enthusiastically. Do you have money?"

"Yes, no problem. Daddy is generous."

"There's a neat flat in a American lecturer's home just down from here. She calls it an apartment and is flash so is expensive and not taken. Want to take a look with me? She wanted the occupants to take a lease but what say we ask to take if for a month and then if we are getting along fine take the lease?"

"Okay but I suggest we take it on a monthly rental. My baby is due in summer and I have an arrangement to go into a flat where there is provision for a day nanny. My father went to a great deal of trouble to organize that so I'll want it to stick. There could be room for you there if you're that desperate."

"Sure, if we are getting along well why not?"

Tessa smiled and said, "Dear Davis. You haven't a clue what a woman goes through in the late stages of pregnancy and the early period following birth. I'm rather vague myself."

Davis said she didn't know what she was talking about. He had three married sisters who lived on the family estates and with little to do at least one of them was pregnant at any given time.

"Is that bullshit Davis? I'll wrench your nuts if it is, working me up like this."

"It's the truth – here, use my phone and call mom."

"I don't know what to call her."

"Try Clara in a plumy voice. She'll think you are one of us. If you are nervous, however, Lady Oakland is fine."