Beautiful

She had known this was going to happen the whole time. But that didn't make it hurt any less.

Bella chided herself as she checked her phone for what had to have been the 500th time in the last hour. He wasn't going to text her.

Or call her.

Or message her.

Or whatever her. They never did.

Marcus had seemed different at first!

They had chatted on and off for a few weeks after they had matched on a hook-up app. Truly PG stuff, with some harmless flirtation thrown in here-and-there to keep things interesting. He had asked her if she wanted to come over, but Bella had stuck firmly to one of the few rules she had when it came to dating:

Rule #1: Always show at least 3 full body pics. It still won't be enough but at least you tried to warn them you were fat.

Rule #2: Never buy Peplum.

RULE #3: Never meet a man for the first time somewhere alone or at his house. Meet in public.

Dating was scary enough, Bella didn't need to endanger herself in an effort to find someone to keep her warm at night. And Marcus, for his part, had respected her answer, explaining that he was really busy at work the next few weeks but once things slowed down he would meet her for a drink somewhere well lit with lots of people around.

Bella had laughed at his joke and they had carried on with their conversation, messaging back and forth until 3 am.

She felt comfortable with him- as insane as that sounds for someone she had never met before- so when he asked her for pics she had complied. He told her that she was gorgeous. That her body had driven him wild. That he had stroked himself off while he looked at her pictures.

Bella was a modern girl, she was fine with a good sext session and she knew better than to have her face visible in the photos. But she certainly had expected to hear from Marcus again the next day.

That was a week ago.

God, Bella she thought to herself you sure fell for that one hook, line, and sinker. What the hell ever made you think that a gorgeous guy like Marcus would want anything to do with you that he couldn't get elsewhere.

She glanced up at the TV that she hadn't even turned on yet after she had gotten home from work. She studied her reflection in the black screen, trying to imagine what Marcus-or really any other man- would think when they looked at her.

She wasn't awful looking. She just wasn't anyone's ideal. She wasn't what you looked for in a crowded bar. At a solid size 16/18 at 5'4", she was a normal-sized person squished into a cute round little package. Wild red hair framed a soft face with cheeks that always seemed to be some shade of red. Her soft body was currently (and pretty consistently) stuffed into an ironic band tee from 2011 which more often than not, was tucked into a cute black skater skirt that rode slightly above her knees. White sheer knee-high socks and chunky Doc Martens completed her non-traditional work ensemble, but as a graphic designer, she could get away with it professionally.

Hot? Probably not. But cute? Charming? Worth a fucking text back? HORNY AS HELL ALL OF THE TIME?

Yes.

She sighed heavily as she tossed her phone to the side and reached for the remote. Deciding to drown the evening in baking shows and reruns of the Bachelor. She didn't hate the way she looked, but that could only get you so far. Sometimes a girl just needed a man to tell her how good she looked. She didn't even need words! A well-placed grunt or even an eyebrow raise could give a girl enough confidence to get her through a cold winter.

She had just settled into a particularly tense Scone Competition when she felt her phone vibrate next to her. Bella practically fell off the couch in her haste to see who it was only to find that it was her friend Dylan calling her.

"What?" She barked into the phone as she righted her body back onto the couch.

"Nice to talk to you too Babe." The taunting voice on the other line replied. Bella could practically hear the smirk on his face.

"Har har." she replied, pushing her hair back out of her face and sinking back into the cushions. "Sorry I was distracted. Let me try again 'HELLO DEAREST BEST FRIEND WHAT CAN I DO YA FOR'".

"That's much better, thank you. Hey, what are you up to tonight?"

"Literally nothing. Was just watching tv. You wanna hang?"

"Yeah. Sean's new girlfriend is coming over and he wants me to meet her. Said this one is different, whatever that means. So I figured.."

"You know the only thing I love more than crashing a bad date is crashing a good date."

"That's my girl. Seven? Bring beer."

"See you soon!"

************************************************************************************************************

Bella was only 35 minutes late. A true feat considering she also had to stop and grab beer. She was notoriously bad at being on time to things, but luckily she and Dylan had been friends for years and he knew that about her.

Dylan and Bella had met in college her Freshman year when they had a 100 level Art class together. For Bella, the class had been the gateway to the rest of her future but for Dylan-a business major, and a junior -it was just a necessity the school needed him to take before he could graduate. They had been paired together for a project the first week and had hit it off. After a semester of late nights at the library and the occasional pizza/beer outing they became firm friends, managing to stay close past graduation and through their twenties. He was 30 to her 27 and she knew their friendship didn't make sense to anyone else. But that was what made it so fun.

Bella just walked right into Dylan and Sean's apartment, not even bothering to knock. They had lived together for a few years, and she was a regular here for nights of stoned Jeopardy and whiskey shots. One time she had even managed to convince them to have a chick flick movie marathon and Sean and Dylan had both worn facemasks and drank white wine with her until dawn.

"Hello!?" she called

"In here!" came Dylan's voice from the living room at the other end of the apartment. Bella couldn't help but notice how nice the apartment smelled, Sean always deep cleaned their apartment before he brought over a new woman; one of the few perks of his serial dating.

She hung her coat on the hook by the door and put the beer in the fridge. Taking one out for herself and Dylan and starting down the hall.

"What's up boo?" She greeted a very casually dressed Dylan who was lounging on the sofa, his gray sweatpants slung low across his hips and his textured henley making him look very cozy. Bella almost regretted not changing into sweats before she came over, but after the ego shake that was Marcus-or rather the lack of Marcus- she had felt the need to look cute. She still wore the same clothing she had worn to work on the bottom half of her but had switched to a black cami and a cozy flannel that she had tied around her waist right under her breasts, holding them high. She looked Grunge-tastic and that's when she felt her best. Sometimes all you needed was just more lipstick to feel like the hottest girl in the room.

"Where is everybody?" Bella asked, her eyes scanning the room as if Sean and his new girlfriend we're going to pop out from under the sofa. Usually when Sean had a new girl over they would all sit around and chat and order pizza and watch a movie or something, and she had assumed this is what they had on tap for tonight as well.

"So get this." Dylan said adjusting his body on the couch to make room for her to sit beside him and grabbing the beer from her hands. "This girl, he met her at work, she was one of his client's assistants. So he tells me she's coming over and I figure it's another pizza and movie night ya know? So I called you. Well, she gets here and she's dressed like a damn Kardashian. The tightest dress you've ever seen, legs for days, and it turns out they are going CLUBBING."

"NO!" Bella gasped, just as she was sure Dylan had thought she would. Sean barely went to bars let alone clubs.

"Hand to God. And then this Asshole comes out all dressed in dark jeans and a shirt I've never seen him wear, smelling like my cologne, by the way, introduces me to this Lillian girl and then off they go into the night."

"Oh man, he's got it bad."

"So bad!"

Bella laughed. She loved how easy it was for Dylan to make her feel better. Their friendship was so full of banter that it was almost impossible to feel sad when he was around. Keyword being 'almost'.

"So anyway," Dylan said, grabbing Bella's beer from her to open it for her and handing it back "sorry for luring you here under false pretenses but we can still order pizza or whatever. If you want we can wait for him to come home so we can mock him mercilessly."

"I appreciate the thought, but I don't want to mock him. I'm happy for him. He should find someone he really likes. We all should." Bella tried to keep her voice light but could feel it trail off at the end, she adjusted her body so she wasn't looking Dylan right in the eyes. He could always read her like an open book and she didn't feel like talking about Marcus right now.

"Yeah. That would be nice but that involves meeting new people and what do I need new friends for? I got you and Sean. You're still talking to that Tinder dude?"

Bella felt the heat rush to her face and took a swig of her beer while she gathered her thoughts, eventually deciding to forgo the banter and just be honest with her best friend.

"I really need to stop telling you things." she muttered as she turned towards him on the couch.

Dylan laughed and motioned for her to continue. "I got too excited. Once again what I thought was going to turn into something crashed and burned and I didn't see it coming."

"Aw man, I'm sorry. Tell me what happened, Babe. You were excited about this guy."

"There really isn't even anything to tell. I thought he was a nice guy and I felt like we just clicked you know.'

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Dylan dip his chin in agreement and took a deep breath to continue.

"We talked like every day for a week or so. All day he was texting me about movies and books and we talked about his friends and his job and then one night he wanted to...you know...exchange pictures.." Bella felt her face flush even more heated and her fingers started to twist in the fabric of her skirt. "Whatever. I thought it was hot and everything was fine and then the next day, nothing. I tried texting him multiple times but clearly he didn't like what he saw and he bolted."

"Aw Bells I'm sure that's not it. He's probably just busy. He'll text you again."

"It's been a whole week Dyl. Plus I got wine drunk the other day and straight-up asked him if he was ghosting me. He didn't reply so he's either dead or I'm taking that as my answer.'

"Oh shit. I'm sorry Bells."

Dylan reached across the couch to put his arm around Bella's shoulders and pulled her in for a one-sided hug.

"His loss babe. You'll find someone worth your time that you want to be with! I promise."

Bella started to tear up at his words and buried her face in Dylan's t-shirt so he wouldn't see her face scrunch up. She took a deep breath to steady herself and found her lungs full of Dylan. God, he smelled good. Clean and spicy. Comforting.

"The worst part is, I get it." she mumbled into his chest. "Honestly as much as it sucks, at least he bailed right when he found out what I looked like. It would be worse if he stuck around once he found out and made me think he was actually attracted to me. Trust me, I know from experience, that hurts much worse."

"What do you mean, Babe?" Dylan asked close to her head, his deep smooth voice right in her ear, sending a tremor through her body that Bella felt all the way down to her toes. "Have guys said that to you?"

Bella almost laughed at Dylan's innocently asked question but when she pulled back from his chest to look at him, there was no laughter in his face at all. His jaw twitched as he gritted his teeth and his eyes had gone dark.

Bella couldn't keep herself from trying to soothe him from the truth. "Yeah, they have." she whispered as she patted his stubbled cheek softly. "But it's fine. I get it. I'm not a pretty girl. I'll find someone...someday. I'm kind and I'm funny. I don't doubt that someone out there will settle for me. But on dating sites, guys are just looking for PRETTY girls. Sexy girls they can spend the night with. Take to work parties. Date for a month or so. I'm not that girl. I'm not the PRETTY girl."

"God Bells, Do you really think that?" Dylan's voice had dropped to an octave that Bella had never heard before, no one else called her "Bells" so she knew it was still him, but his voice sounded so different; heavy, warm. It made her want to curl into him.

"I mean. I don't know what else it could be." she gave in to her desire to sink into Dylan's strong embrace and nestled lower in his arms, avoiding looking at his face. "I know I'm fun to be around. I know I'm not stupid. I have a good job. It's just that I just am not a person men are attracted to. Which honestly is fine. I don't need to be the end-all-be-all for someone. I just...oh god I can't believe we're talking about this." Bella rested her face on his chest as she realized the depth of what she was about to confess to Dylan. Things they had never discussed in years of friendship. She had always kept her sex life a bit on the DL. Possibly, maybe, accidentally leading her friends to believe that she was much more experienced and outgoing than she actually was. She wasn't exactly lying. They just assumed things and she didn't bother correcting them.

"You just, what? Babe? You can tell me anything. You know that." That caramel voice was back right in her ear, rich and sweet and intoxicating.

"I just want to be touched ya know." she whispered into his henley "Just once I want someone to look at me like they want me. Like really want me. Not out of pity or lack of options. Just me. And not because they want to talk to me or because I make them laugh, I want some man somewhere to want me..physically. Just once I want to be the Pretty Girl."

"Just once...?" Dylan parroted a piece of her speech back to her and she really wished he had missed that part, and Bella buried her face deeper into her hands. "Bells, are you a virgin?"

"Oh my god." Bella pulled away from Dylan's arms and groaned into her hands "I literally cannot believe we are having this conversation right now. But no. I'm not technically a virgin. However, considering that was almost 6 years ago and it was over in literally 8 seconds, I'm gonna say that it didn't count."

"But babe, you go on dates all the time?" Dylan whispered, and Bella could hear the disbelief in his voice.

"I go on first dates all the time. I promised myself a long time ago I wouldn't sleep with someone on a first date. That way I know that if they contact me again they at least like me a little. They never contact me again."

"Assholes." Dylan swore under his breath.

Bella smiled. "I get it though. I'm not everyone's cup of tea, and that's fine. But I know there has to be someone out there who is attracted to me and is nice to me. I'm just tired of wading through all the bad eggs all of the time. Toss me a bone ya know?!"

Bella laughed a strained laugh at her own attempt at humor. This conversation was not one she wanted to be having with Dylan. Shaggy haired, bright-eyed, cut-like-a-professional-athlete, probably-never-been-rejected-in-his-life-Dylan.

She had always had a little bit of a crush on him. And there had even been a moment in college where she thought Dylan was interested in her but he had never made a move and she certainly wasn't going to risk the embarrassment of rejection. In the end, it worked out for the best, she couldn't imagine the last few years without him in her life as her friend.

"Bells. I don't know what's wrong with these dudes you meet on these sites. But I can assure you that you are one of the most attractive women I have ever met."

As he spoke the words that made Bella's jaw drop to her chest, he reached for her again and pushed her wild hair behind her ear.

"I mean it." He said in his new voice, tilting her chin up towards him with a crooked finger. "You're so fucking sweet and funny and cute and if I'm being totally honest, these damn skirts that you wear drive me out of my fucking mind."

To illustrate his point, he slid the flat of his hand up the inside of her leg until it rested high on her thigh, his fingers hidden beneath the hem of Bella's skirt. His long fingers teased the inside of her thighs and a small gasp escaped her lips at the sudden sensation that rushed through her body.

"Fuck, Bells." Dylan groaned. "You're so soft." And then he leaned in and before Bella could breathe, his lips were on hers.

Dylan's kiss tasted like beer and spearmint; a combo that an hour ago would have sounded gross to Bella but that she now found she couldn't get enough of. His lips were firm and soft and he smelled so good. A soft whimper escaped her throat and Dylan pulled away immediately. Pushing some of her hair behind her ear and resting his hand at the nape of her neck, he lowered his eyes to hers. The intensity Bella saw there knotted her insides. Dylan's typically bright blue gaze had darkened to almost black with what, if Bella didn't know better, looked a lot like desire.

"Do you know how long I've wanted to do that?" God his voice sounded as if he had swallowed gravel and Bella couldn't get enough of it.

"No. How long?" Bella managed to squeak out, her hands tentatively trailing up the thick, corded muscles of Dylan's arms. She couldn't stop herself from touching him but didn't want to risk snapping him out of whatever trance he was in. She wanted him to kiss her again. She wanted him to touch her everywhere. She wanted to reciprocate the favor. God, she wanted to do anything but talk.

Dylan laughed deep in his throat and the sound made Bella's insides clench.

"A long, long time, Bells. And you taste even better than I thought you would."

He leaned in again and pressed another heated kiss to her lips, his tongue licking at the seam of her mouth. She opened to him and he practically growled as he swiped his tongue through her mouth sampling her taste. Their lips battled for power before Dylan pushed his hand into the small of Bella's back, arching her into him, deepening their kiss, and pushing her body into the couch all in one move.

He slowly lowered his broad body over hers, his lips trailing down to her neck as they both caught their breath. A trail of wet heat following his kisses down to her collarbone and back up to the shell of her ear.

"Dylan..." she breathed, her head falling to the side to give him better access to her throat and the sensitive skin he had found. She didn't even know kisses on her throat could feel like this. That they could be so delicious. She didn't know they could light up her whole body like sparklers.

"That's it, baby. Say my name." Dylan whispered into the hollow of her neck, sucking on the sweet skin there. "Fuck you feel so good, Bella. Can I mark you?"

Bella hesitated. She didn't know if she wanted to walk around with a bruise on her neck even if it came from the hottest man she had ever met, but as she was about to turn him down, he ground his hips ever so slightly into her thigh and she felt the pulsing length beneath his jeans dig into her flesh.

"Yesssssss..." she hissed as she twisted again to press her mound against his hardness, seeking any sort of relief from her squirming that she could find. If this man wanted her who the hell was she to stop him.

"Thank you, Baby." Dylan whispered to her before sucking her skin between his teeth enough to sting and then laving the pain away with the flat of his tongue. "So sweet Bells."