Audrey called and said we were going to a film noir festival and I was to wear my Steve Job's outfit. Her voice was terse and preemptory. "Pick me up at seven and be prepared to stay out late."
Audrey was my new girlfriend. At least she called herself my girlfriend. One morning, she slipped in next to me in Human Biology and said, out of nowhere, "I've been looking for you."
I sat there, frozen, wondering how one of the prettiest, most talented girls in my class could be looking for me. I was a junior in Civil Engineering, not exactly a major that gets attention from girls. I actually liked Civil. I was the third generation of males in my family to make Civil Engineering a career.
"Say something." She looked at me sidewise.
"Um, have I done something wrong?" I looked carefully across at her. Mostly my eyes were trapped by the embroidered sweater with two impressive projections.
"That is a very pretty sweater."
"I made it myself. With some help from my mother. My father says I am to get to know you."
"Um, I don't think I have met your father."
"That's right, dummy. Our fathers are the ones who know each other. My dad admires your father's work and told me you probably would be a safe boyfriend for his precious daughter."
I sagged back in my seat and was saved from further conversation by the arrival of one of the RA's, who announced he had the class today because Professor Morgenthau was called urgently to Washington for a meeting at the White House.
An elbow arrived hard into my ribs. "Biology at the White House?"
I laughed out loud and eyes turned our way, to catch Audrey with my hand in hers, boldly bending the middle finger back and forth with a grin on her face. The whole room dissolved.
Even the RA broke up. "Alright, folks, back to the lecture. Today we are covering mammalian reproductive strategies..."
This time, people were rolling in the aisles. The proper girls were trying to look offended. Audrey whispered, "You have a beautiful blush," and kissed my lips ever so lightly.
The RA was sitting down, his shoulders shaking. Finally, he spoke, "Just for that, we are having a pop quiz." He ignored the groan, and continued, "Before you leave the room, I want a short essay on the most important reason why you are chasing a mate, and what his or her response to your efforts is. If you aren't actually chasing someone right now, you are to imagine that you are. In your essay, you must include a description of your victim - oops - I mean prospective mate."
Audrey was kissing the back of my hand, and said, "Timothy, this is great. I'm going to tell Dad that he helped me ace the pop quiz. He sent me looking for a guy who turns out to be mate material."
She looked up and batted her eyes. "You have to kiss me now. I require more personal knowledge of your talents."
I leaned over cautiously and she met me halfway. More than halfway. My brain had no idea what was going on, but the alpha male parts knew an invitation when they heard one. Ignoring the people around us, I eased her into my lap where I took an intense kiss at the same time I slipped a hand under her sweater to investigate the body beneath.
The girl next to me said, "Not in here, for god's sake." The guy on the far side said, "Cheryl, he is helping her write. Don't you want the same treatment?"
Audrey's aggression went viral. In a minute or two, makeout was in full swing, except for a sad few who didn't seem able to pair up.
The RA said, "Remember, you can't leave the room without turning in your essay."
Eyes turned to the clock. Class was half over already. I discovered Audrey was out of my lap and writing furiously. She looked up and said, "Get busy, I am not writing two of these."
I grabbed pen and paper and thought hard. As far as I knew, until a few minutes ago, I wasn't chasing a mate. The idea hadn't even entered my head. But I was allowed to imagine the mate and the chase. I reached over and grasped the muscular thigh next to me.
"What are you doing?"
"Just checking. I have to describe the mate I am chasing. My story says you are a jock and you make me run with you, so I am actually chasing my mate."
"That is the sappiest line I have ever heard. I play women's soccer, and men are not on the field."
Writing as fast as I could, I said, "This story says I kidnapped you to the trail behind the campus and chased you for three miles before you dragged me into a sunny pasture and had violent sex in the warm afternoon sun."
"You are not serious."
"Actually, the more I think about it, the better the idea is. What about a little exercise after class instead of a fattening lunch?
"We need to talk."
Hurrying to finish on time, we walked out into the warm sunshine I had just been writing about. Audrey said, "I'm sorry I dumped on you in there. My dad really did tell me to look you up. Do you let girls ask you for a date?"
There was a tree handy along the path, and I backed Audrey's impressive body against it, my hands bracketing her shoulders, my lips very close to hers. She had dark green eyes that were wide and expectant.
"Yes, I would like to go out with you. Do I get more kisses like we had in class?"
"Yes, but what about the sunny meadow? Is there one back there?"
"We could change and find out. You are not having sex on a first date, are you?"
She punched me and laughed. "I didn't ask Dad about sex. You are signed up for yes means yes?"
"I'm signed up for never knowing what the girl is thinking or what she means."
This time, the punch was harder. "When I say yes, Timothy McGinnis, you are going to know exactly what I mean. Exactly..."
I bowed my head slowly down to her shoulder. "Yes, mistress."
She hissed in my ear, "You are some kind of jock yourself. What is your sport?"
"Middle distance running. But that was only in high school. Engineers actually have to study, if you didn't know."
She bent over to check my legs and muttered, "I can be violent."
"I already know that. Said in class that you were having violent sex with me in a sunny meadow."
She straightened up and wrapped arms around me. "Damn it, Tim, you are turning me on. I caught my folks doing it outdoors one time. It looked like a lot of fun."
I hugged her back and pinched her bottom. It was my turn to hiss. "Let's turn my imaginary story into the real thing."
She grabbed my hand and pulled me along. "Whatever happens, I can blame it all on Dad."
After two quick dorm stops, we were actually on the running path, steaming along. She was a few paces in front on a narrow stretch, giving me a view of her fine body, striding easily, straight as an arrow.
I caught up. "You lied. Someone has coached you about running."
She tossed her hair and took off. I was a little rusty, but it felt like low seven minute pace. She wasn't gasping either. I wished I had my running watch. We came around a corner and damned if there wasn't a nice sunny clearing. She ran to the middle of it and collapsed with a giant sigh.
I fell beside her and grabbed a hand to kiss and massage. "You are dangerous and devious. I don't know any girls in our class who can do seven minute miles."
"I ran in high school too, but soccer is a lot more fun." Her tan face broke into a marvelous smile. "I guess we are history? Too many lies already?"
"You are just trying to avoid the violent sex you promised."
I sat up and took her legs into my lap. My fingers probed and she moaned.
"What if we have a real date and work up to the violent part?"
I extracted my mobile and handed it to her. "Call your dad and ask him if it is ok to date me. Tell him I look dangerous."
She switched around so we could kiss, and giggled into my mouth. I scowled at her and growled.
She tapped in a number and put it on speaker. After two rings, a deep male voice answered, "Audrey, what's up?"
"I have a report on that guy you asked me to check out."
"Timothy McGinnis? His father's engineering company gets a lot of business from us. What is he like?"
"I sat next to him in Hum Bio class. The instructor said the lecture was about mammalian reproductive strategies."
"My god, daughter, that sounds terrible. Is that the one where they have those slides of male and female parts?"
Audrey and I broke out laughing. "Audrey, is he with you? Where are you?"
"Oh dad, this is such fun. I am lying in his lap in the sun in a meadow. We had a run together and are all sweaty, and he just gave me a really hot kiss. Is it ok if we go out?"
"Put him on."
"Hi, Mr. Collins, your daughter is something else. Hits on me out of the blue, and then shows me her fine rear on the running path. I promise to take good care of her. Not like some of those frat guys."
"Timothy, I am glad to hear it. She runs circles around her mom and me. We can't keep up. Please call me Jack."
She grabbed the phone back. "Dad, Timothy and I have to go. Class is in an hour..."