She was a tiny thing – only 3 – but the vision of the ambulance pulling away from their house, carrying her father to the hospital for the last time, stayed with her into adulthood. A girl needs her daddy to give her guidance and advice as she's growing up but, most of all, his love that gives stability to her life. Without that, she would search forever to find the man to fill that void in her heart.
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He had loved only one woman in his life. They always say that there's only one soul mate for each person and he knew that he had found her. They hardly even had a disagreement and, if they did, they stayed up and talked it through until all was resolved. They had friends but preferred the closeness and privacy of just being together in their own little world. They traveled after he retired and did all the little things that they had planned all their lives. They thought their world could not get any better and then tragedy struck – she was diagnosed with a disease and they couldn't find anyway to treat her. She was very strong in her attitude and would not agree to any chemotherapy or radiation. She was slipping away and there wasn't anything that he could do but hold her hand and watch. She died peacefully in her sleep but he was devastated. For two years, he mourned her and hardly left his home except to go to the grocery store and run errands. One night, as he had finally dosed off to sleep, a vision of his lovely wife came to him and told him that it was time to move on and that he had been in mourning for long enough.
She had been married for too many years to a man who emotionally abused her and finally she had had enough and called a lawyer. With the money she had saved, she filed for divorce and moved into her own apartment. She had never been alone – living with her mother or with her husband – so this was a new experience. Independence! What a wonderful feeling! It's funny how your married friends drop you socially when you get a divorce so she was left on her own – finding companionship with some of the ladies in her church to fight the loneliness.
She was invited to a party at one of the largest homes in the city and really toyed with the idea of not going at all because of her shyness. She didn't have a date and knew that she would really feel out of place but she put on her prettiest dress and a little makeup to highlight her features and fixed her hair. She knew she had to go to "make an appearance" so she smiled at herself in the mirror and was surprised at how pretty she looked. That made her "feel" pretty, too.
She walked in the door and looked around for someone – anyone – who she might know and started to talk to help her feelings of shyness evaporate. While she was socializing and checking out the men, she saw him. He was standing by the hors d'oeuvres' table and their eyes met. She looked around to see if maybe he was looking at someone else but she was standing all alone. She HAD to be the one he was looking at and her face started to flush. He was so handsome with a little gray around his temples and he was so tall – taller than anyone she had ever dated. Being short, she always seemed to attract the shorter boys. She was mesmerized by his blue eyes and couldn't turn away even though she knew she should. Not knowing what to do, she just stood there feeling silly. He put down his plate and took a step toward her.
She felt as if she were going to faint. Her inferiority complex kept her from believing that he was actually interested in her. She wasn't what most think of as a "10" in comparison with other women. She was curvy in places that should be curvy but carrying a little more weight than even she was comfortable with so she never thought that she "deserved" a man as handsome as he was.
He took another step and was standing right in front of her. He could not get over his attraction to her. He had not had any feelings like this in such a long time. He felt as if he were a moth and she were the flame and there was nothing that he could do but go with the flow of his emotions.
"Hello," he finally stammered out. "My name is Jonathan, what's yours?"
"Errr.. my name is Alicia.........," she replied as she stared into his eyes.
"Are you here with anyone?"
"No, I'm just here to make an appearance. How 'bout you?"
"Well, I am also trying to 'make an appearance' and then leave. Do you think you've succeeded? "
"Actually, no, I don't think anyone even knows that I'm here. I feel sort of alone in a room full of people so to speak. I have a hard time meeting people. I'm afraid my shyness keeps me from being in the 'in crowd' if you know what I mean."
"I'm not shy but mine is rather a choice that I make to stay away from the 'in crowd'. I'd rather be liked for myself instead of by the company that I keep."
She was feeling so comfortable as if his words had just enveloped her and were holding her. She was hanging on his every word as if they were the most important words she had ever heard. He was surprised at his own actions after such a long time of having no feelings at all – just numb to the pain and numb to any other feeling he was supposed to have. As they were talking, he touched her arm and she felt as if she had been jolted with electricity. What was it about this man? How could he conjure up these emotions in her? She always wanted to feel this way but never had. It was a dream come true.
"Would you like to find a quiet corner and talk?" he asked.
"I would love that so much. Do you mean here or somewhere else?"
"Well, now, anywhere you want. Would you like to leave?"
"I think that I have had about as much fun as I can have here. Would you like to go have a bite to eat some place? I'll treat."
"I could never let a lovely young lady like yourself pay for mine but 'you' have to choose the place."
"Ok, how about that little Italian restaurant down the block? Do you like Italian?"
"That's perfect because it's small and has little booths in the back that are more private and I can have you all to myself."
"Do you really mean that?"
