An Earth Day Voice

She had looked like the cat that had swallowed the canary and from the way his mother had been humming while serving him his morning pancakes, it seemed the canary was still singing in her belly. Alan wondered why that should be. He had to admit she looked good with a smile on her face, but he hadn't seen his mother crack a smile in two years. His brain kept searching for reasons why she could be smiling. He was thinking about his prim, proper mother, and he could never attribute her good mood to the same kind of thing that was going to put a smile on his face for the remainder of the day.

Alan looked at the petite form jumping naked into her bed and realized that his short period of reverie had cost him the race to discard clothing and hop into bed first. Losing had it's advantages. He had a perfect view of a beautiful naked woman in motion. His eyes took in Jill's twinkling blue ones, before roaming over the rest of her. He liked the way the slight winter pallor of her skin set off the dark brownish dots of her smallish nipples in her largish breasts. He liked the tender curve of her almost flat belly and the soft tangle of her honey blond pubic hair. Mostly he liked the way her arms reached out to him in a sweet invitation to crush his naked body against hers.

He lay beside her and felt her arms wrap around him. Their eyes met in a sparkling flash before their lips closed on each other. Her warm pliant body pulled him close and he felt her tongue reach out to duel with his. Alan's eyes closed and a sigh escaped his lips as so many wonderful feelings flooded over him. Every sense stimulated; so many physical sensations. The feel of her soft breasts crushed against his chest, stimulating the endings of the hairs there. The touch of her belly against his. The feel of the soft skin of her back in his hands. The touch of his already erect cock against her stomach as their legs entwined. The smell of her hair wafted on the air, the slight hint of fruit from her shampoo, the stronger sweeter smell of her perfume. He tasted the mint of her toothpaste as his mind still saw her naked form.

Their kiss became more passionate, more urgent as his hands pulled her tighter against him. Knowing that this beautiful woman wanted him inflamed his very being. He was filled with desire for her, the intense need of youth.

He broke the contact of his lips with hers as his kisses moved to her neck and then her shoulder. She moved further away to give him room as her hand slipped from his back to find his erect manhood. Her hand wrapped around his firm cock. The smooth warmth of his hardness sent warm chills through her and knowing how much this man wanted her, warmed her. She shuddered as his lips found and sucked in her nipple, her back arched involuntarily as she felt the fire shooting through her.

Usually, she liked his long slow foreplay, but today they didn't have much time. She pushed Alan onto his back and then slid her body on top of his. Jill squiggled back until she felt his erection hitting close to the mark. They both wiggled until it lined up and then while she watched his eyes she slid down taking all of his cock into her wet warm welcoming pussy.

Alan felt her eyes on his as his senses were overwhelmed by the feel of her velvety pussy slowly consuming his manhood.. Each millimeter of her envelopment thrilled him. He watched her eyes flutter as she took the last of him. His lips met hers as his arms wrapped around her, for the barest of moments he allowed them to stay still and then his arms rocked her as his hips rolled into her. Jill began to move, slamming her body into his as his hips matched her rhythm.

Their breathing came faster. It felt like their bodies were in sync. Their hearts beat together, faster and faster to match the passion building in them, they breathed faster, harder as their bodies rocked in rhythm, locked together into one squirming mass of humanity.

Alan felt her muscles tensing as she sucked in breath. Her pussy, already tightly wrapped around him began to spasm as her breath came in a gasp and her tongue stopped moving in his mouth. Her orgasm triggered the pressure in him. He slammed his hips into her and exploded, filling her with his juice. She continued to gasp for a moment after he was still and then collapsed on top of him.

Neither said anything as they tried to get their breath back. She just lay atop him, limp and satisfied as she felt his cock slowly shrinking inside her. They lay there in never never land for several minutes, lost in the soft glow.

Jill got up and went to her private bathroom. Alan, needing to relieve himself and flush the plumbing, got up and padded naked into the hallway. He went to the bathroom in the hall and relieved himself, careful to leave no clue to his having been there before going back to Jill's bedroom and letting her clean him with a warm wet washcloth from her bathroom.

He wore a smile on his face; the smile Jill had put there, the smile he would keep for the rest of the day. Had he been able to see himself, he might have recognized the same smile his mother had worn this morning, but never, ever would he attribute his virginal (he must be the result of the second immaculate conception) mother's smile to the same cause.

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Amanda Collins was still smiling. She thought back to the strong warm arms that had held her last night and the thought warmed her still. She could feel the questioning eyes of the other girls in the office , wondering why she might be so happy. Only Pam could really guess, but even she did not really know.

It had been two years since her husband had died, and three since she had felt a man's embrace. The last year with Jerry had been a year of pure hell after 19 years of wonderful marriage.

Jerry had been her childhood sweetheart, her only love, the only man she had ever known. They had been lovers, friends, partners in life. He had been everything she had dreamed of. Until the blinding headaches had hit him.

The brain cancer had caused Jerry's headaches, but none of the withering pain that some other kinds of cancer could. Amanda didn't know what would have been worse, dealing with his pain or the dementia he had gone through. In the last two months, he had not known who she or Alan were and attacked them verbally every time he saw them. He had not been the man she knew.

Something had consumed her in these last two years. She wasn't quite sure what it was. The grief of losing the love of her life or the horror of watching him die. It didn't matter; she had not wanted human contact, except with her now almost adult son. She could not imagine being so attached to another human being again. She wasn't ready to love again.

There was an empty spot in her soul. She could not imagine loving another man the way she had Jerry. She could not deal with the idea of the pain of that love turned back against her again. She couldn't bear the idea of the pain of watching another love die.

Jerry had thought that he was leaving her enough in life insurance to set her up, but it hadn't worked out that way. Half a million dollars had sounded like a huge amount, until Amanda had faced the bills from two brain surgeries and six months in the hospital that had preceded Jerry's death. His health insurance had paid a huge amount, but it had run out. Amanda had managed to pay for his funeral and most other bills, but when she was done, there was nothing left.

Amanda went through a gray life. She worked and she had moped at home. Most nights she avoided crying but she felt at the edge every night. She missed him so much and yet.... After that last year, she would never admit it but Jerry's death had been a relief. Part of her was consumed by the guilt of that relief.

She just went on. Living for no other purpose than to breathe another breath. Alan was a joy, but he was becoming a man. She felt some guilt for him as well.

Alan was a blessing. He had been planning to go to an Ivy League school even though it would have been a major economic drain on the family. With his father's death had come a real change in his plans. Fortunately, they lived in a college town and Alan had decided to go to work and attend the state college in town.

Amanda was the chief deputy in the City Clerk's office. She did the bulk of the work while the clerk was a political figure, elected each four years.

Amanda had gotten Alan his job with the sanitation department and it worked perfectly for him. He was the chief (in fact only) sorter in the recycling department. They let him work whatever hours he wanted so long as the sorting got done. He put in a full day, but usually not eight straight hours. He worked early in the morning, and between classes, sometimes in the evening. They were quite happy with him; he always had things ready when the trucks picked up the material to recycle.

She was really proud of him, for the work he did, for the grades he got and for how he had stepped up and accepted his responsibility. Every time he went to work she felt guilt for him having to put himself through school when he should be having fun. She blamed herself that he seemed to have no social life. He never seemed to go on dates; he was always home for her. Sometimes she wondered what she would do when he graduated and found a job. Could she deal with living alone?

Pam Green was the closest thing to a friend that Amanda had and in an oblique way, was responsible for the smile on Amanda's face. Pam had taken her to lunch yesterday.

Amanda had been talking about how she felt that Alan needed more of a social life. The regret, the guilt had dripped through.

"Girl," Pam had said, "You need to quit worrying about Alan's love life and get yourself laid."

Amanda had sputtered. "I'm not ready for a relationship yet."

"I wasn't talking about a new husband. I said you needed to get laid. A zip-less fuck if you will.. Whatever it takes, but YOU have needs too and you've been ignoring that. Maybe you aren't ready to get back into the game, but you need to at least get on the sidelines. A good fuck would do you worlds of good."

"I couldn't do anything like that. I don't even know how to date. No one has even asked me out."

"Amanda, you're what 42? You're sexy as hell. The only reason you haven't been asked out is because you walk around with a scowl on your face and you never put yourself in a place where a man could ask you out."

"I'm no slut and no one could replace Jerry. I am not ready to date, and I'm not putting myself anywhere where I could mislead anyone."

"You don't have to mislead anyone. You just need to get laid and that doesn't make you a slut. It makes you human."

"Thanks for the advice, Pam but I wouldn't know where to look for someone who just wants a sexual fling."

"Have you looked at our city attorney lately? He lost his wife about the same time you lost Jerry and he walks around with that same lost puppy dog look on his face that you do. He's rich, he's a hunk and he needs laid as bad as you do. You really should ask him."

"What are you suggesting I do? Walk up to him after the sanitation meeting tonight and just say.... "Mark, I really need a no strings attached fuck. What are you doing tonight?""

"That might work." Pam giggled. "Tell me how it comes out. He's a hunk. If I weren't married, I'd ask him myself. Hell, tell me if he's any good in bed. If he's as good as he looks, maybe I'll ask him anyway. In the mean time, I'll call Suzy in his office and suggest that he ask you out for a roll in the hay."

"You wouldn't dare!" Real horror showed in Amanda's eyes. She knew she had to sit beside Mark during tonight's Sanitation Board meeting. It would be an uncomfortable meeting wondering if Pam had lived up to her threat.

"Don't worry, Suzy would never sick him on you for nothing but a fuck."

Before they left the restaurant, Amanda had gone into the ladies room and taken a good look at herself. Her light brown hair shimmered in the mirror. Her stomach was flat; she turned sideways and liked the way her breasts protruded from her chest. Yes, she was still attractive and then she looked at her face and her eyes were flat. There was none of the flare that had once been there. She suddenly realized that the fun had gone from her life.

"Maybe you do need a touch of human contact. A good fuck just might do you some good!", She told herself.

The rest of the day had gone just like the rest of every other day. She went home and made Alan dinner, then hurried off to the Sanitation board meeting where she had to take notes.

She settled into her chair. Mark was usually early, but tonight he came in at the very last minute. Amanda had been hoping that he might miss the meeting altogether. Still it had been a relief that she didn't have to talk to him before the proceedings got started.

The sanitation department was the shittiest of the city functions and the shittiest of the meetings. They dealt with the waste treatment plant, sewer lines and new installations, citizens problems with either the lines or their bills, garbage collection and disposal, and of course the recycling department. Most of the items on the agenda had already been taken care of by the Department head but the board examined everything and approved or disapproved. It was boring in the extreme, except for the bids for work beyond the ability of the department. As she sat there, she stole a few looks from the corner of her eye at the man beside her.

Mark Kelly was indeed attractive. He was just over 6 feet tall and probably just under 200 pounds. His face was pleasant and he moved with the grace of an athlete. Amanda's face flushed from a lot of things. She wondered if Suzy had indeed whispered in Mark's ear and she wondered what she thought of it. The idea of a sexual encounter was bubbling from her sub-conscience and bubbling right into her cotton undies. She felt the warm wetness that had been so absent from her life for the last few years.

She squirmed through the meeting, torn between dread of dealing with Mark, and a thrill that she hadn't expected. By the end, she had a firm resolve to turn him down if he said anything. The funny thing was that he looked just as uncomfortable as she was.

The meeting was unusually short. They had finished in a mere twenty minutes.

Amanda always had to be the last to leave. She was the one with the keys. Mark had not moved as the meeting ended, today no one had questions for him and he sat there, looking down at the notes before him. He said nothing, he just looked down.

Finally everyone had left and she was just waiting for him. "Amanda, I have to talk to you." It was almost a whisper, an apology, but his eyes never left the pad in front of him.

"I'm listening." She said.

"Amanda, you're a beautiful woman, and I don't know you that well, but I think a really nice one too. It's not that I don't think you're attractive, but I'm not ready to date anyone yet."

"Mark, I don't know who told you what, but I'm not interested in dating you..... Oh damn!, I didn't mean it that way. You're fine, but it hasn't been that long, and I'm not ready to see anyone. I just couldn't deal with it."

"So what you're telling me is that our secretaries have been playing match maker?"

Amanda remained silent, she just nodded her head.

"Tell you what. Since neither of us is interested, lets humor the girls. Lets go get a drink and then in the morning we can tell them that we tried and it didn't work. If we don't, they won't let up."

"You're not asking me out? This is not a set up?"

"Honest. I'm not ready to get involved. Lets just have a drink together so we can tell them that it didn't work out. Then they'll leave us both alone."

So many things went through her mind. Her brain told her that she just wasn't ready, the pain too fresh, too vivid, but the gush of moisture her body produced told her that she was. She felt heat rise to her face. She knew she should run now but another part of her was intrigued. She had had so little social contact with anyone that it couldn't hurt. It would be pleasant sharing a drink with another person. Neither of them wanted any relationship.

She nodded her head, they both kept their eyes averted from each other. She took her notes to her desk and then came back to follow him out the door and lock it behind them. It was only two blocks to an upscale bar and grill and Amanda walked beside him. Neither said anything.

They found an empty booth and sat across from each other. The bar was dark, illuminated only by some dim lamps with heavy shades. The table cloth was at least cloth, but not particularly good. The service was excellent. The drinks came quickly, the conversation came much slower. Both sat in silence for a very long time. Amanda had almost finished the first drink and was beginning to feel it before she was the first to speak.

"Mark. I know Suzy talked to you about me today. What worries me is that my secretary, Pam, put her up to it. I know what Pam said to me, so I'm a little worried about what Suzy heard and told you."

"Now you have me interested. What do you think Pam told her that has you so nervous?"

Amanda blushed a deep red. "Pam told me if I wasn't ready to date, I should just go get laid and then she pointed out that you were in the same boat."

"She did, did she? Suzy told me that you were really interested in me. That you wanted to go out with me and that I might get lucky."

Amanda blushed a deep red. "I never! I told Pam I wasn't interested." A moment of silence followed that remark.

"Intriguing thought, though, isn't it. A no emotional involvement encounter. I've thought about it but hookers don't appeal to me."

Amanda wasn't used to drinking and the booze was going straight to her head. "I'm not a hooker."

Mark looked at her. His gaze took her in and he liked what he saw. "What are you saying?"

A touch of a tear came to Amanda's eye. She didn't quite know where that came from. All sorts of emotions were flooding her. She felt her body's need. She felt all the pain, all the fear of the past. She felt the dread of commitment. She felt she was betraying Jerry. All those emotions stirred to the surface. Her body and the alcohol were winning.

"I don't want to date you. I don't want to love you. I don't want to own you. I don't even want to be friends. But maybe my girl friends are right. Maybe I do need sex. It isn't even you I need. Just your cock." She couldn't believe she had said that, but the words were out of her mouth. She meant every one of them, but she hadn't meant to vocalize them.

She felt Mark's gaze. She felt his eyes move from her shimmering hair over her dead eyes, her button nose, her full lips, down to the significant swell of her breasts to her flat stomach. The heat of a flush flowed through every vein.

"Do you really think you could do that? We could? Just have sex. No relationship? Would you really like to?"

Her eyes met his wounded, needy ones. She read in him the same pain, the same desire that she felt. Her answer was almost a whisper. "Yes, Yes and Yes."

His mouth twisted, his eyebrows furrowed in deep thought. He threw some money on the table, more than enough to cover the bill plus a substantial tip. He stood and held out his hand for hers. He led her the two blocks to his car. They said nothing and she felt the flow of emotions. Fear. Nervousness. Near Panic. Disbelief that she was doing this. He opened the door for her and she climbed in. She had no idea where he was going but she wasn't afraid of him, only of what they were doing.

They drove in silence. Amanda snuggling with the passenger door as her nervousness filled her. She was breathing faster. Her heart beat like a runaway locomotive; she could hear it in her ears. She was slightly surprised when he pulled into a nice local motel. She said nothing.