Amanda My Cousin; Mandy My Lover

So the Summer of Romance with Mandy appeared to be ending with us going different directions. I had been here once before. That time we were cadets from different branches of service, and while we loved and romanced it just didn't seem to ever quite work. The Department of Defense didn't care that two kids were in love, we had things to do and different places to be, so we had set each other free.

Now Mandy was worried about being a military widow with a baby-something she had recently feared when she thought she was pregnant and had heard about a training accident that had killed a couple of pilots at the same time I was away at training. She ended up not being pregnant, and I was not a pilot, but the die had been cast in her mind. She would never be a military wife, even in peacetime. Yet she didn't seem quite ready to make a clean break.

My birthday came a few days after I got back from Annual Training. Wendy had been there to pick me up at the armory building instead of Mandy. And now Wendy was here with me the night before my birthday and Mandy was back home. So Wendy and I went to a new restaurant in town and then my favorite bar. And we got drunk. I got blackout drunk. If only to forget for just a few hours, I thought things would be better.

So the sun comes in and wakes me up. I was in satin sheets. The ground floor master suite. I could hear the shower running. Mandy and I loved that shower. Was she here? I knew I wasn't dreaming because I had one hell of a hangover. So I walked into the bathroom, dropped my boxers, opened the steamy shower...

And saw Wendy in her birthday suit. And she saw me in mine, on my birthday. She looked at me, then my dick that was starting to respond to her fit, lithe body all soaped up, then back at my face. My eyes could never lie, and she knew it.

Damn Wendy! Gotta love her, but I can't bullshit her. She saw the disappointment that flashed for a split second. But I climbed in the shower anyway. I needed one and she was hogging all the water.

"Good morning, Sunshine! How are you this lovely morning? Know what today is?" She spoke, just a bit to loudly.

"Hopefully the day someone puts me out of my misery. What the hell did you do to me? Hit me with a truck?"

We went to that new Mexican restaurant. Had nachos, tacos, refried beans and chips and salsa. Then we drank shots of tequila all night. Mixed with beer. Then we came home, you fucked me, took my cherry, I tried to give you a blowjob but I bit your cock. Sorry, hope it's better", she said.

All the talk of greasy Mexican food and liquor was making me think I wanted to maybe throw up, but then something else she said caught my attention. "Wait, you were a virgin and I...we...? Are you okay?"

"Yes, silly, but I am pregnant. Took a test this morning. I got you a baby for your birthday. SURPRISE! Aren't you excited?"

My head was spinning and pounding, I wanted to throw up, and then she tells me I took her virginity last night and she's pregnant today. Really? Something didn't quite make sense, but I was really struggling to think and process it all.

Then I realized she was bullshitting me. I can't bullshit her, but she can bullshit me.

"That's not true. You're too big of a tramp to be a virgin" I countered. That earned a squirt from the shampoo bottle in my face. I was joking, she knew it, but I probably deserved it anyway. I also thought she was a virgin since our HDFS 376 class days, unless last night we...

"Don't worry, nothing happened between us last night. See"- as she showed me her apparently in-tact pussy- "it's still small. THAT thing would never fit inside me."

Why was she doing that? I was hard. So I touched her and said, "Yep, guess you're right." I let my finger linger, and she spread her legs open a little bit. She's right, it was tight. She gasped a little, apparently liking it. I'm not sure if she's ever let a guy do that to her before. Whoever took her cherry was going to be a lucky man, and if he didn't appreciate it, he would have to answer to me.

But I wasnt going to do it, not today, not like this. My heart and mind would not been into it. And she deserved more than I could offer her today. Unless, she just wanted her pussy eaten out. We had just learned a couple years before that oral sex wasn't sex. The President said so. And I liked to eat pussy. I could give her that, right? Maybe that was the breakfast I needed and deserved. My hungover mind was trying to process all that when the phone rang, and Wendy went to answer it.

I heard her side of the conversation. "Hello...Oh, hey...Yeah, he's here...Well, I think he regrets drinking, but haven't heard him say, 'never again'"...long pause, then she resumed, "should I ask him? Nope, we will just tell him...we could, but I think if we throw a bag over his head and kidnap him he may throw up in your car...we can ask, but you need to drive this morning" and in a whisper that was meant to be heard, "I think he's still drunk...okay, I won't tell him, it will be a Birthday Surprise...okay, I will tell him to get dressed. Since it's his birthday he said he's walking around in his Birthday Suit all day...see you soon, bye!"

What the hell was that all about?

"Get dressed. Eat some toast. Get dressed in a t-shirt and comfy shorts. You have plans!" Wendy yelled to me, once again, a little too loudly.

"What's going on?" I heard half of the conversation, but was still confused.

"You heard the part about the 'Birthday Surprise', well, I'm not telling you, so snap your ass to it! NOW!"

So I got dressed and waited. Took something for the hangover, and waited. Finally after about an hour, Mandy showed up! Her brother Jason had been called up to the major leagues and was playing in Kansas City tonight. We had tickets through him. Mandy knew I would love to go.

Was I back in? Was it just as friends? Either way, I did love baseball, and I did love Mandy. Even if it was as friends, it would be a great birthday.

So we made the 4 hour drive, ate lunch, got our tickets from the Will Call booth (that was cool to drop a player's name and get free tickets), saw batting practice, got some autographs, watched a game. Didn't drink any beer though.

And then we stayed in a nice hotel on the way home.

And we had sex. First in the sauna, then in the room. As she was sucking my cock, she was talking dirty, " yeah, you like that? Did you fuck Wendy last night? Pop her cherry? I bet you want to fuck us both at the same time don't you?"

What in the hell do these two talk about? It wasn't really doing it for me. But when she brought up the threesome, it got me thinking...

But we had sex. No condom in the sauna, but a glow-in-the-dark one upstairs. Afterwards, with the room pitch black, her pussy glowed. Then I ate her out. Later we used a ribbed condom.

"This condom is uncomfortable. Pull out just before you cum...Yeah, f-f-fuck, that feels good! Ooohh, cum on my tits!" It was almost like she was 2 different people- the nympho and the nun. Well, maybe not a nun...

The ride home was weird. Were we "on" or not? Was she over the pregnancy scare or not? At first when I placed my hand on her bare leg, she flinched. After about half an hour, she had her right foot on the dashboard, letting me finger her until we pulled over.

I loved to finger her. I had my finger flat between her lips and would push inside towards her opening without penetrating. Then the suction and pussy juice would make a "squish" sound. Then I would ease it back out until the suction would release, making a sharp "pop" sound.

I did this for what seemed like forever. She had juice running down her thighs. "Ooohh, ahhh, you have to pull over and fuck me!"

I didn't see anywhere to do that right there alon I-35, so I did the next best thing. I put a finger inside and also rubbed her clit.

"OH MY GOD! THAT FEELS...AHHHH, OOOH GOD, DON'T STOP! AAHH, OH, OH GOD, YES! FINISH ME...!" And she cut loose and squirted all over the dashboard.

"Oh god, I've had enough until you can fuck me properly..."

Then she pulled out my cock and played and sucked it as I was driving. Eventually we did find a place to pull over...

I loved the hell out of the highs of our relationship, but hated the lows. I was beginning to wonder if letting Lori go, what seemed like a lifetime ago, was the right decision? Or if i should've stayed in bed with Wendy yesterday? I didn't lust after Wendy like I did Mandy, but it was always a nice easy path with her. Or there was always Mallory down the hall. Sexy, seemed like she could be bisexual. Before "Amanda" a classmate, became an intimate "Mandy", my lover, Mallory sometimes would come home and need release. I caught her diddling herself in our shared bathroom once and we occasionally had oral sex. Never fucked each other, never knew of a guy she fucked. That could just be good, dirty, no strings attached, right?

No, nothing worked like that. I may be an idiot, but I knew sex complicated relationships. Thankfully I didn't have sex with Wendy yesterday. She was my one true friend and I always knew where I stood with her.

Classes started. Mandy came by. We held hands when we walked over so she could show me her new place, but didn't show me her bedroom because her roommates were there. I guess she knew what we would end up doing.

Skipping ahead a few weeks to capture the high points, on Monday the 10th, I got my assignment for when I graduated- a Reserve commission in the Infantry (I was going to be a grunt officer, a ground pounder) and head to Fort Benning, Georgia after graduating in December. I had trained there as an enlisted guy. Possible chance of active duty, but not determined yet. Would Mandy agree to be with me IF I was not on active duty? Several of us guys- no women- went out to celebrate. I came home drunk, but not like the night before my birthday. I made it home to my room and crashed. The next morning, slightly hung over I left the house, never checked the weather or news and had no idea what had happened until I got to class and the news showed two planes flying into the World Trade Centers.

And they collapsed.

I knew I would be going to war and Mandy would never be with me if that were the case. But my focus changed in that instant.

I saw Mandy the next day. She had tears in her eyes as she came by the house. "Wendy told me you are going into the Infantry?" It was asked as a question, but was an accusstion.

"Yep, that's what they assigned me."

SLAP! "How could you!" Full on tears now.

"What the fuck was that for?"

"I love you, and I TOLD YOU I can't be a military widow. And you STILL want to go to war!" She tried to slap me again, but I caught her hand. She threw herself against me and started bawling. I took her to the couch and sat down, her head in my lap. I stroked her hair and she eventually fell asleep. I just held her for hours. And even though that is a position we found ourselves in many times-her head in my lap- I did not have a hard-on. There was too much on my mind.

When she woke up, we talked. We talked some more. We went to bed, at her place, but didn't have sex. We didn't even sleep. We decided to take a break from sex but still be friends. I don't know who was more devastated.

We did remain friends. One would cook for the other about once a week. One of her roommates showed some interest in me, but I couldn't. I still wanted Mandy, she still wanted me, but we just didn't get together in an intimate way. I became mostly uninterested in sex. If I couldn't do it with Mandy, it didn't seem worth it.

That was how the rest of the semester went. And I graduated and received my commission and orders. I had about 2 weeks before I had to report to Ft. Benning.

Mandy wanted to drive down with me. I agreed. Even though we said "no sex", I still loved her, wanted to spend time with her, and wanted her company.

What a ride it was!

Our first night we didn't even make it out of Iowa before we stopped along the Mississippi River. Since it was winter, the river town of Muscatine didn't have a lot to offer other than another Phantasuite hotel room! We stayed in a room decorated like an Arabian desert tent. The bed was about 7 feet in diameter so we could roll around all sorts of ways and try different things. So much for "no sex" but she said the ground rule was we absolutley had to use condoms.

Okay, I could live with that if that was a condition to live with her right now and not die a little each time I thought we were done. Putting a condom on, making love, having sex or just plain dirty fucking, it was better than not having her around at all.

No sauna like we had in Kansas City on my birthday, but like the fantasy motel room near the Twin Cities, it had a hot tub for two in the room and a kick ass shower.

The next surprise was when we got near Atlanta a couple days later and she wanted to check a private mental institution out. She surprised me by announcing she had an internship there starting in about 3 weeks. Wendy told her where I would be doing several months of training and Atlanta was about 2 hours away. She was planning on being close by while I was doing my training. For the first 3 months or so I would be on gentlman's hours, more or less. Call it 0600 to 1800 hours each day (that's 6am to 6pm) every weekday, with most weekends free.

My heart was so full, I just wanted explode! Why did she do this? The highs were oh so good, making the lows that much worse. But we were on a high, and I hoped we would cruise into the roller coaster station now. I didn't want to go around again. I thought the next low might kill me.

Near where she was going to work, we found her a small apartment. She signed a 6 month lease and we continued on. Since I still had over a week before I needed to be at Benning, we drove to Florida. And we kept driving all the way down A1A through Miami and the Keys. We went all the way to Key West, the bottom of the United States. Considering when we left Iowa the high temperature was still below zero degrees Fahrenheit, Key West was almost like heaven. Neither one of us had ever really taken a "Spring Break" trip to Florida during spring break while at college and it seemed amazing this was still the same country. For the temperature and other reasons. Looking at her, in her bikini, while she was looking at me with love in her eyes, it was easy to forget I had several friends in Afghanistan at that very moment, on the other side of the world, fighting and bleeding. Here I was, in the Conch Republic of Key West, with the most beauiful woman in the world, and we were going to make love again. I knew it. I also knew I had to make an honest woman out of her before I got her pregnant by accident. Or pregnant again. I honestly didn't know for sure what happened a few months back when she thought she was pregnant and had a nightmare that I was killed. But now wasn't the time for me to worry about that.

I asked her to marry me. I even had a ring. It was the bottom of the 9th, 2 out, 2 on, all I needed was a hit. I made contact, a long fly ball, dropping, dropping...and caught. She couldn't marry me while in uniform.

But the game wasn't over, just headed to extra innings. Or so i hoped...

I reported to duty and Mandy moved to Atlanta for the semester. Officer Basic Course went just fine and her internship went real well also. We saw each other most weekends. On our last weekend together before I went off to Ranger School we spent a 3 day weekend in Clearwater Beach. We saw a few of the sites during, shall we call it "recovery time", but spent most of the time in bed. I savored those last precious moments. The warm, soft kiss of her lips on my cock, the slight resistance as I entered her tunnel, and the warm, wet feeling on the head of my lovemaker as it was as deep inside her as I could send it. The feel of the tip touching her deepest points inside, the sensation as I withdrew most of the way out, feeling the cool air mix with her warm moistness left behind on my shaft, only to thrust back inside- thrust, withdraw, repeat. The mingling our pubic hair, the feel and pressure of our hip bones grinding against each other. The heavy breathing, the sweat, the smell of sex.

The sensations of love, mixed with lust. But love, to be sure.

And the feel of skin to skin. We left the condoms in the box that weekend. I think at that point we were both consumed and if we got pregnant, it would have been fine.

But no pregnancy, just love, and then Ranger School. My head was not into my training and on an Airborne jump I twisted my knee. Hurt it real bad. Didn't permanently damage it, but it was good enough to end my Ranger training for now, which meant sending me to my first platoon a my first permanant post- Fort Riley, Kansas.

Fort Riley was about 3 hours from Omaha or 6 hours from Des Moines, so no matter where she was, we weren't worlds away. But keep in mind, as much time as we spent together, Wendy was probably the only person who really knew our status. Maybe Mallory from when we were roommates, probably not my other former roommate Steve. Definitely not her parents, or mine. Vague terms were used. Her parents knew she was seeing a guy, but didn't know how serious. She was an adult, they didn't pry too much.

After probably 18 months of occasionally seeing each other, things were changing, we were fighting in Iraq now and needed more warriors, and my chance came up. Mandy knew it was going to happen, and we met in Kansas City for my last 3 days of "freedom". She insisted on condoms so she wouldn't get pregnant by accident. He had always been on the pill since we started, but she didn't fully trust it and demanded another barrier.

We used condoms. We found the natural, sheepskin something or other allowed heat transfer better than latex, but they had one problem; they were weak. Add in the fact we stayed in bed and I came a couple of times in the same one (yes, it's a rookie mistake to use the same condom more than once) and when it broke, it flooded her. We figured at that point we might as well use no protection.

I went off to Iraq, saw some things I don't wish on anyone, did some things I never wanted to do. But I also had time to think. Voice communication with Mandy-or any other civilian-was difficult, but not impossible. Communication with Wendy was somewhat easier. That made getting actual post-marked letters from home so important. I loved getting perfume sprayed letters and pictures.

Then I got my first injury.

Looking back it was probably a concussion, but was only treated as a broken nose. My head remained foggy, but I still had work to do.

Then Wendy sent me a picture of her and Mandy together in Florida. I recognized the pier as the one in Clearwater. I saw our last hotel on the side, and the Gulf behind them.

But I didn't recognize Mandy's normally flat belly. Was she putting on weight, or was she...

My head still foggy, I went out on another patrol. And got shot in the chest. Thank God for body armor! But it broke 3 ribs. And I got hit in the leg muscle- no bone, but a bloody mess. Looked a lot worse than it was, but under fire and being dragged off through the rubble, plus infection and blood loss, it looked real bad. Thank God for Johnson and Cortez who saved my life.

One of our classmates from ROTC got ahold of Wendy and told her I was KIA (killed in action) instead of WIA (wounded in action). In probably the one single time since we met, Wendy acted irrationally and paid Mandy a visit. Since Mandy and I weren't married, she didn't get the phonecall or telegram or folded flag. As far as the Department of Defense was concerned, SHE didn't exist.

And she wasn't eating too many sweets and just getting a belly, she was showing. When Wendy told her that I was not dead, only wounded, it was too late. She had been pregnant. But the shock, news and grief caused her to miscarry. She had no one to share her grief with.