I woke up Sunday morning and waited until I heard some movement in the house. I always hate to be the first one up and about. I just laid there and thought about what was happening and told myself this was just a temporary relationship I was in, and I could not let my feelings for Amanda get out of hand. But I think I was also fantasizing about her leaving her long-time boyfriend for someone she had only known for a few weeks. Reality sucks, but at least I did have some time with her.
After a half hour or so, I heard some male voices upstairs. I proceeded up the stairs to find my uncle and Hank talking about a Bears game. We all said our good mornings and I grabbed a glass of water.
Hank asked, "what time did you go to bed last night?"
I remembered us going to Amanda's room about 12:30 so that is what I told him, in case he heard her at that time. He asked if I slept good on that lumpy couch. I just replied, "yes, I was really beat. Been a busy weekend."
Amanda made her way out of her room again, waved at us, and went to the bathroom. Once she came into the kitchen, I asked her, "did you sleep well?"
She replied, "pretty good."
After some breakfast, Hank told us he needed to bring us back to the base as he had a paper he had to write for a class and a speech to prepare for. We packed our things, said our good-byes, and headed back to the base.
In the car, we mostly talked about music and movies. Just more small talk. Amanda never gave in to what was weighing on her mind until we got back to the base. She went back to her barracks as did I, with plans to meet at the galley for supper.
I got there first and stood in the freezing cold waiting for her. She showed up and we went in. We got our food and sat at a table. She was really quiet, not really like her.
I asked, "everything okay?"
She replied, "I am a bad person and don't try to change my mind."
I sat there and looked at her for a minute or so, speechless. I finally said, "I don't think so and you can't change my mind."
She changed her stare from her food to directly at me. She then confessed, "I spoke with Robert after I got back. He wanted to know where I was all weekend since this is the first time I called him. Usually, we talk on the weekends. He'll call the barracks and someone will come get me. Well, this time, I was not there."
I asked, "What did you tell him?"
She replied, "I told him I was with a friend. He asked what her name was and I told him his name was Dave. I told him we were just friends but I think he could tell from my tone there was something else going on. I think I fucked up. I know I fucked up."
I tried to say anything to help her but all I could muster was, "It's okay. Everything will be fine."
She explained their families and how they intertwined. Her dad works for a company her boyfriend's dad owns and her boyfriend works there for her dad. Her cousin is also married to her boyfriend's sister. It is almost expected that she marries Robert. Robert also advised her not to go into the military because it has so many men in it and he's knows how tempting it will get for her, getting attention from men all of the time.
After our supper, we walked back to our separate barracks after saying good night.
***********************************
That week, we saw each other a few times every day in the lounge area at school. We talked about what we had done and I made sure she knew I was someone she could talk to anytime. We even went to the galley twice to eat together. Her spirits seemed to be improving as the weeks went on.
That weekend, she had duty on Saturday so we did not see each other Friday night since she had to be up early, and Sunday she had to catch up on laundry and spend some time with a girl friend.
*********************************
The next week, she said her boyfriend was driving up from Kentucky to see her, had rented a hotel room and all of that. I cannot believe how jealous I was. I had to tell myself she was not my girl to begin with, but the thought of her being with Robert was eating at me. I knew our time was getting more limited as well. She only had four weeks of school until she was gone to her next school. I still had eight weeks to go.
********************************
After the weekend with her boyfriend, I got the blow right to my gut. He asked her to marry him. She said yes. I could tell she did not want to tell me but, in her defense, it was better to be honest. She had told him about her affair and he said he was hurt but understood. He said we were not to see each other again.
I thought this was over but she said she wanted to have supper to talk with me again. At first, I said no, but changed my mind and met her at the galley. This time, she was there first.
"Dave," she said, "I am so sorry. When he asked me to marry him, we had just spent the day together and he got down on his knees, right outside the restaurant we had just eaten in, and revealed the ring. I was caught by complete surprise. I had told him the night before about our affair, but he still accepted me and I felt I owed him a yes. When he dropped me off Sunday night at the barracks, I cried so hard I had a headache."
She continued, "I cried because of what I did to him but I think I cried harder because I did not want to say yes. I also cried because I brought you into this mess I have made of my life."
I said, "It's okay. Really."
She added, "Maybe someday, I do want to marry him, but how can I be so sure when I think about you just as much as I do him?"
I replied, "He is familiar. He is comfortable. And there is nothing wrong with that. Our fling is new and exciting, for both of us I'll admit."
She then said, "Exactly. He is like safety and stability. You are more like passion. But I need passion right now. You made love to me like no one ever has. You read my body and did all the right things. I want that again. I want that soon. I only have a little over three weeks left to see you."
This turn of conversation felt good and hurt at the same time. She was telling me I was a good fuck, but not good for anything else?
I backed away and looked at her. She asked, "What's wrong?
Careful not to turn her away, I replied, "I am okay spending every day I can with you. But it's gonna hurt to say goodbye."
She stared into eyes and I swear, was holding back her tears. I know I was holding mine back.
***********************************
Fast forward to Friday night, she informed me she had booked a motel for going to us that night. I offered to pay half since E2 pay is not a lot of money but she refused my offer.
We took the taxi to the motel and unloaded our bags. I think we may have kissed in the taxi after we got off the base but time was speeding by. I wanted it to slow down and last forever but we just seemed rushed to get in as much time together as we could. Friday had been a rough day, too, another quiz, and my average had gone down just a tad. It was a rough block of study.