Saturday, I finally woke up from another dream about Amanda and just laid there and thought about things. It was about 8:15. I assumed everyone else was sleeping in so I turned on the TV and just watched it for a while. Eventually I heard the stairs coming down creaking and turned to see Hank walking down.
"Hey, man, sorry I couldn't stay awake last night," he said.
I replied, "No big deal. We fell asleep, too. When we woke up, Amanda went on to bed."
"Everyone is up now. I think Mom is planning on making some breakfast," he said.
"Cool," I replied as I took the blanket off of me and folded it up. I followed Hank up the stairs to the kitchen. Aunt Barb was making eggs, bacon, and pancakes!
Amanda came out of the guest room, waved down the hallway, and disappeared into the bathroom. She looked tired, too. As tired as I was, I felt energized when I saw her.
She came out of the bathroom a few minutes later and was so appreciative of my aunt for making breakfast. We each good a good portion and talked about whatever the topic was. Uncle Joe asked about her interest in the Navy, long term goals, etc. I didn't know this but she wanted to go to college and just could not get the resources together so she planned on going to college while she was in the Navy via tuition assistance. This girl was growing on me more each day.
After breakfast, and showers, Hank suggested we go the Sears Tower. He explained he had a friend whose dad can get us tickets any time we want. Amanda and I agreed that would be a site to see so that was the plan.
We made the drive downtown after getting tickets from Hank's friend and parked in a parking garage, then made the trek to the tower. It was chilly and breezy. Amanda and I held each other close while we walked through downtown. Once we got to the tower, we took the elevator up, and up, and up... All I can say is the view was spectacular! We bought a disposable camera and took some pictures. Hank snuck a couple of us. One was of the back of us and I had my arm around Amanda while we looked out above the city. But the other was her looking up into my eyes with a look that she was completely in love with me. We did not know that at the time. He just gave us back the camera for us to develop later.
After our tower visit, lunch, and some window shopping, we headed back to the house. Amanda fell asleep in my arms for a few minutes during the drive back. I just held her against me and pretended this was never going to end.
We got back to the house and finished watching "Bill and Ted's" so Hank could return it, and yes, he remembered to rewind it! While Hank was returning the video, Amanda and I had a talk. She told me she was really feeling bad about what had happened and laid awake most of the night thinking about it. I didn't really know what to say. I told her it was okay and she just said it wasn't. I told her no matter what, I was going to be there as a friend and someone for her to talk to. She shocked me when she replied, "but what if I want to talk about you?"
I had no reply.
That night, we watched some TV with Hank and eventually he made his way up the stairs again leaving us alone. Amanda sighed and I asked, "You okay?"
She replied, "Do you think it's possible to love two people?"
I said, "Well, I am not sure it is really possible to love one person. I mean, we love what people do for us, we love the way certain people make us feel, and sometimes we even feel good when we make someone else feel good, but to really love someone, and have it never fade, and always be committed, just not sure."
She backed her head up and looked at me with a confused look. She said, "That's fucking deep, holy shit."
I said, "Sorry."
She then said, "Do you think it is possible to have really serious feelings for two people? I'll put it to you another way. What would you do if you were in my situation?"
I did not want to say the wrong thing here. I just replied, "That is really an individual thing. I will say this, people are people and sometimes things just happen. You are under a lot of stress at school. I know this. I can relate. And being away from someone is very hard."
She said, "Yeah. You are right. Relationships and commitment can be so serious and difficult at times. I guess I am more like a cat. Something like 'when you're not near the one you love, you love the one you're near' or something like that anyway."
I replied, "I have heard that before. Difference is cats probably think nothing of it, but we humans get all caught up in our instinctive sides and think less of ourselves for it."
She laughed and then said, "I want to treat tonight as if it's our last night together. If we have to stop seeing each other, I don't want to wish we had done more or anything like that."
Then she gave me a big hug and we held each other for a minute at least. When we pulled apart, she had a tears in her eyes.
I said. "It's okay, really. I am okay either way. It's okay."
She said, "Thanks, Dave. Sorry to bring you into my mess of a life."
She moved in and started kissing me again. I could taste the chap stick on her lips from being out in the dry, windy city earlier, and our tongues danced around moving in and out of each other's mouths. I reached up and grabbed the back of her head, running my fingers through her hair. I made my way to her neck and she reached down to pull my shirt off. She asked, "Is there a way to lock a door to this room?"
I replied, "No. You want to go to your room?"