Always and Forever You

There were times when I wished I could be more like Lily.

My "Wonder Twin" had the ability to engage with anyone she met. She was skilled at everything from small talk to deep soul-searching conversation. She had been that way since we were kids.

It was the second day of the trip, and after a day spent on the beach we went to dinner and then out to one of Luna Beach's most popular night spots. Lily was at the bar, surrounded by her two "new friends." They were cousins from New York, down for a family reunion. The guys shared stories with us about school, jobs, past vacations, and the military. The cousins both served; Alex was in the Air Force, and Rafael, the Army. He was about to be deployed to the Middle East in August.

Alex was really handsome and definitely into Lily. Over the last three hours, his body language and his eyes were sending all the signals. He was leaning into her every time he spoke. If she was looking at someone else, he'd stare until her eyes locked onto his, and then his bright smile would bloom. At first I wondered if Lily would be intuitive enough to notice. She definitely was. She was smiling right back at Alex, matching his flirting ritual move for move. Lily was enjoying the kind of attention she didn't frequently receive.

When we were together, guys' attractions normally went to me rather than Lily. Most of the time, I'd be standoffish and the guys would eventually go away. I didn't consider myself unfriendly, I just wasn't comfortable with the getting-to-know-you game, and I wasn't going to allow anyone to fawn all over me and make Lily the unwanted third wheel, For this trip though, for whatever reason, Lily was determined to show a different side of herself. Tonight, for instance, she wore white denim shorts, and a very tight black tank top. She'd never wear that kind of outfit back home. She ditched the glasses in favor of the contacts she really didn't care for. She had even asked to borrow some of my makeup.

Tequila shots were ordered by Rafael. He was starting to slide closer to me. He was really good looking too. His body was better than Alex's, both in height and bulk, but stacking them up, Alex was the overall winner. His smile put him over the top, and right now it was all directed to Lily. Good for her.

"Everyone ready," Rafael said, after passing the salt shaker around. I licked the back of my hand and poured salt onto the wet skin.

"Who's calling it?" asked Alex, holding the shot in one hand, the lime in the other, and looking directly at Lily. It was clear who he wanted to give the command.

"I'm fucking calling it." Lily yelled.

"Do it." I yelled back.

"Everyone ready." Lily held up the lime and the shot...

"Lick!" My eyes locked onto Lily's tongue as it slid over the back of her hand to taste her salt-covered skin.

"Sip!" We all knocked back the shot together. I felt Rafael watching me.

"Suck!" We lifted the limes to our mouths. Alex was watching Lily with intensity as her lips wrapped around the wedge. I felt my own teeth break through the fruit as the sour juices squirted into my mouth. I sought out Lily's eyes, but they were with Alex.

"Oh that was so smooth," Rafael said to me. "I love good tequila."

The band, which had been on break for the last half hour, started playing again. The dance floor started to fill quickly. "Would you like to dance?" Rafael leaned in close to ask me.

I loved to dance. After two hours of margaritas and now a shot, I felt free enough to dance with a good looking guy I didn't really know, but I was still sober enough not to let Lily out of my sight. I leaned in and intruded into the personal space Alex was trying to occupy. "Lily, we're going to dance. You guys come with us."

"Nah, I don't feel like dancing." Alex said. "We'll hang here and watch you guys."

Who the fuck asked him?

There wasn't anything specific in my expression toward Alex that said what I was thinking, but Lily suddenly suppressed a smirk. We always joked that we had the power of

The Force,

when it came to reading each other's minds. That power had intensified over the last year.

"I want to dance... and you do too," Lily stated to Alex.

He started to protest, but realized it would be pointless.

I just loved that Lily and I were blossoming Jedis. What other powers did we have that were still undiscovered?

Rafael led the way, and we followed. Lily grabbed my hand, and leaned in to whisper, "Are you ok with this?"

I wasn't sure how to answer. Rafael was good looking and very nice, and the notion of hooking up with a soldier before he went off to defend his country had an air of romantic patriotism, like in old movies. But, my experience at the pool the day before was still fucking with my mind. Why did Lily hijack that fantasy? Was that some kind of by-product of the bond we shared? It never happened before, and I never wanted it to happen again. I should fool around with the soldier boy here just to cleanse my system.

These cousins could dance, almost as well as me and Lily. There was a potency in Rafael's eyes as we surrendered to the effects of the music and alcohol. He was definitely into me, and kept commenting on how "gorgeous" I looked. I mean, I couldn't deny it, I was totally killing it in the blue and white floral sundress I'd bought for the vacation. Rafael's attention was a little arousing; his body was close, and his scent was a sexy mixture of perspiration and expensive cologne. There was a tingling at the base of my spine; I couldn't deny my body wanted to move down a certain path.

I had one eye fixed on Lily, who was, at the moment, connected at the groin to Alex on the dancefloor. His left arm was around her waist and occasionally they would be forehead to forehead, fixed on each other's eyes. I waited for their lips to meet as well and had a strange feeling in my stomach at the thought of it. Rafael touched the side of my cheek, maybe trying to change my focus. It was an intrusion, and my expression must have told him so, because he smiled kind of sheepishly. Yeah, Alex definitely had the better smile.

I maneuvered our bodies on the floor so Rafael's back was against his cousin's. I danced up close to him, and that put my line of sight directly on Lily. The black tank top exposed her whole neck, shoulders and her chest. Lily had gotten a little color today at the beach, and it occurred to me that this was the healthiest she'd looked in almost two years. The small cleavage that was exposed also had a sheen of wetness from the heat. It was hard to pull my eyes away. "Hot" wasn't generally a term people used to describe my best friend, but tonight she owned it.

Lily eventually found my gaze, and her eyes lit up; after all these years, we were sharing something new together that was both happy and exciting. There was so much fear and sadness recently, this felt wonderful. Lily tilted her head toward the exit. She didn't just want off the dance floor, she wanted out of the bar.

You sure?

Lily winked at me, and grabbed Alex's hand, leading him off the dance floor. Rafael didn't see it. I leaned in to him so he could hear. "We're leaving," I said, and noticed that his initial confusion turned to excitement at the prospect of what might be coming.

The beach was across the street from the bar. We walked along the street separated from the sand by the small white wall that ran the length of the beach and opened up at each intersection. Lily and Alex walked up ahead a bit, and I watched them from behind; they were talking and laughing. Alex reached out for Lily's hand and she accepted. I felt a quick stab of jealousy, but I didn't understand the feeling. Rafael was beside me, handsome and strong, but we weren't holding hands. He was talking about his love of the ocean and weekends spent at Jones Beach near his home in New York. Though I managed to say enough to appear engaged, I was more interested in what Lily and Alex were talking about.

Under their lead, we veered off to the right and onto the beach, pausing to take off our shoes. The ocean was very calm, but ahead we could hear the gentle sound of the tiny waves reaching the shoreline. The beach was very dark ahead, but the western sky behind us was filled with the artificial light from highrise hotels, and the rest of the city.

"Want to sit for a little bit?" I heard Alex whisper to Lily. I wanted her to decline. I wanted us to keep walking.

"Hey guys, let's sit for a while. My feet are tired from all that dancing." Lily said over her shoulder. Apparently there were still limits to our telepathy. This trip was for Lily though.

I smoothed the back of my sundress and sat down in the sand. Everything felt sticky in the summer humidity. My knees were bent and I made sure the dress didn't ride too far up my thighs. My internal voices were having a little argument about Rafael.

Lily was with Alex, sitting about ten feet to my right, with Rafael between us. I heard Alex and Lily whispering a little. I heard the word "romantic." It was his voice. Alex was the more sensitive of the cousins, or maybe he was the better player. He probably tried to step up his game around his cousin because until you really paid attention, Rafael was going to be the initial head-turner.

The whispering stopped, and the ocean was all I heard...until it wasn't the only thing I heard. Soon came that familiar soft suction sound of lips coming together and then parting, the newness of the first kisses between Lily and Alex. Eventually that transitioned to the temporary silence that came with deep kissing and exploring tongues, interrupted only by the intermittent sound of breaths catching, like the competitive swimmer whose face tilts out of the water just long enough for a lung full of air before going back under. I had been to parties; I knew exactly what was happening on the other side of Rafael, but it had never made me feel like this before. I still didn't understand what

this

was.

I reached over and took Rafael's hand. "So why haven't you kissed me yet?" I asked bluntly. I needed a distraction.

The question both surprised and obviously excited him, because he stumbled over his words. "I...I ah wasn't sure..."

That made the two of us. "I want you to kiss me," I said, and forced myself to believe it.

He smiled. It wasn't his cousin's smile, but it was still nice. He leaned into me, his right hand was behind my neck, guiding our mouths together.

Rafael had good lips; most guys' lips were too thin. Derek and the few other guys I've kissed were like that. Nothing to lock on to. Rafael's lips were thick though and they wrapped around mine. It was a strong kiss, especially for a first kiss. It was the kiss of a guy about to go off to serve in the army, uncertain of what dangers lay ahead. Lily and Alex's first kiss wasn't like that. Their initial kisses sounded much softer. I was trying to visualize what I'd heard from them when I felt Rafael's tongue push through into my mouth. I wasn't expecting it so quickly, but it did feel good once it was there. I stroked his bare arm allowing my body to enjoy the things that were happening to it. His arms were thick and felt good when I squeezed them.

Rafael's eyes were closed as his tongue explored my mouth. My eyes were open, they always were when I made out with someone; I needed to see and be aware of everything. I moved my hand to Rafael's back for support as his kissing pushed the arousal through my body. I looked past him to the silhouetted figures in the sand. It looked like Alex was rubbing Lily over her tank top. Was that ok? She wasn't protesting.

It wasn't long before Rafael's fingers slid down into the front of the sundress and down into my bra. I felt goosebumps as his fingers pinched my nipple. My breaths changed in response. He must have taken it as a sign to continue on, cupping my breast, stimulating the nerves beneath. That arousal was moving downward, and I felt wetness inside my panties. My thoughts still wandered to Lily and Alex.

Rafael's hand moved to my bare thigh, his fingers creeping upward. My inner voices were screaming at one another again. One side suddenly won out. I reached down to grab his hand. "I can't. I'm sorry I'm on my period." It was a lie.

Seeing the look on his face made me wonder if he'd been that crushed when he got his deployment orders. He really thought he was getting laid tonight. There was no chance of that, but did I stop him sooner than I really wanted? Derek was never good with his hands, but Rafael was already a better kisser. Maybe he could even lick me to... No. That wasn't going to happen with this stranger.

"Lay back," I whispered to him. His disappointment turned hopeful as he smiled slightly and did what he was told. I layed on my side up against him and played with his bare chest under his t-shirt. I circled his nipples with my finger tip and it closed his eyes. I checked on the figures next to us, and they were still kissing. Alex appeared to be sitting and Lily straddled him. I squinted to make sure they were still dressed, and was pretty certain I saw her white shorts still in place.

I slid my hand down into the waistband of Rafael's shorts. He drew a deep breath allowing me clear access. He was hard and very thick, and my hand was only just able to wrap around it.

I felt the pulse in his dick as I lightly squeezed it. He let out a sexy sigh, as I untied his shorts and he lifted his ass, to let me slide them down. I took a quick scan around the beach making sure we weren't about to be busted by cops or anyone else. Satisfied that it was only the four of us, I started stroking him.

In this position, with him laying down, I had a much clearer view of Lily and Alex. Lily was laying on top of him now, clothes completely intact, and they were kissing. I found I couldn't turn away. I was fixated with the shape of Lily, rhythmically grinding her body into this guy. I tried to get out of my own head, because it was confusing as fuck. The fact that it was dark made it easier because there was no detail, just two figures dry humping together, but the sound of their rapid, aroused breathing was threatening my control, because I was so turned on watching them. I mirrored the circular stroking of Rafael's dick to the rise and fall of Lily's body on Alex.

Rafael's breathing became labored. "Suck me," he pleaded.

I regained my composure. "No, I don't know you well enough," I whispered in his ear and used the droplets of precum that had been leaking from his tip as lubricant to stroke him in the way that Derek once told me he liked.

Rafael initially looked annoyed at my denial, but I was apparently rubbing him skillfully, because he gave up on the protests and accepted what I was offering without further complaint. I leaned down and kissed him deeply, my tongue attacking the inside of his mouth, but still kept focused on Lily. When Rafael's breathing sped up, signaling the end was approaching, I shifted closer to him so that my crotch was pressed against his side, I rolled my hips hard against him and stroked faster, working toward a mutually successful event.

"Oh God! Fuck yeah, I'm going to come.... Nowww." He cried out as his load shot from his dick in pulses, landing on his stomach. I kept working Rafael's shaft until it was clear he was spent. I hoped his orgasm would trigger my own, but by the time his body relaxed, it became clear to me that mine wasn't going to happen.

My attention had been diverted from Lily and Alex for a few moments, and when I looked again to check on them, they were suddenly sitting next to each other. Lily's knees were bent and her arms were wrapped around them. I couldn't see her face clearly, but something was wrong, I could tell. I was on my feet and standing and at my friend's side before I realized it. "Are you ok? What happened?" This close, I knew Lily was upset.

"She's a fuckin' cock tease," Alex spoke up first. "One minute she's all into me, and then..."

I cut him off. "You know what, fuck off Alex! You're not owed anything here."

"Well she didn't have to go all hot and fuckin' heavy and then panic. I wasn't trying to fuck her."

Rafael was standing behind me now, while trying to clean himself off with a tissue. "Alex, what the fuck did you do?"

"He didn't

do

anything," Lily said, standing up and brushing the sand from her shorts. "He's just pissed because he thinks I led him on."

"You did," Alex shot back.

"Look, I'm sorry if you feel you were led on, but I just couldn't go any further, and you know what, I really don't owe you an apology for that." Lily said assertively.

I took her hand. "Come on, we're going." I turned to Rafael who was now on his feet and fixing his shorts. "It was nice meeting you, Rafael. Good luck on your deployment. I promise I'm going to pray that you're safe over there."

We turned away, and walked up the beach, leaving those hot cousins there, one spent, one not, but both with

What the fuck just happened

expressions on their faces.

It was only a two block walk back to our hotel, and Lily and I held hands the whole time. It was the first time I could remember doing that in public. We've always shared many affections in private, especially recently, but out in the open, walking along the street, someone might think we were a couple the way we were hand-in-hand. I didn't care, we'd never see any of these people again.

"I didn't ruin your night, did I?" Lily asked, looking down at the ground as she walked. There was embarrassment in her voice.

"Babe, right here this minute, is my favorite part of the night." I squeezed her hand.

I felt Lily's thumb tickle the back of my hand as we walked. It made us both smile.

"I don't know what happened to me," Lily said, "I thought I was into it. I loved the flirting and the dancing, but then when we started to get really heavy, I felt like totally fuckin' separated from all of it, and I panicked."

"I really thought you were into him." I said.

"I wanted to be, I really did. He's gorgeous. He tried to get into my pants and I told him I had my period," Lily said, causing me to erupt in laughter. Lily turned to me, confused.

"I told the same lie to Rafael." I lifted our clenched hands to my lips and kissed Lily's.

"Telepathy is fuckin' wild, isn't it?" Lily said with excitement.

"When did you tell him to stop? Last time I looked you were dry humping him into the beach."

"He started to push the top of my head, like he was trying to get me to go down on him. It fuckin' freaked me out. When I did that to Scotty, it was me that asked him if I could do it. I mean, of course he said yes, but it wasn't like he was forcing me to do it." Lily's voice got louder and flustered. "I mean Alex wasn't really trying to

force

it either, it just wigged me out."

It was almost one thirty in the morning when we got back to the room and changed for bed. When I came out of the bathroom I found Lily standing out on the balcony at the rail, looking at the lights of the city to the west. I came up behind her, placing my hands on the rail on either side of my friend. Lily leaned back into me. "I love it up here," she said.

I loved the softness of the night air, and even more, the feeling of Lily against me. When we went into bed, I started to pull down the comforter of my bed, where I'd slept the night before. Lily got into hers, closer to the slider leading to the balcony. "Wait, do you really want to sleep alone tonight?" Lily's voice sounded hurt.

"You know that I don't." I slipped into the bed behind Lily and spooned up against her. We'd done it many times before because best friends for life did that. We both wore tank tops, I had gym shorts on, and Lily just wore her underwear. Our bare legs felt nice pressed together, My arms around her made me know she was safe. We left the blinds and sliding door open so that we could hear and see the blackened ocean outside.