Always and Forever You -

Ft. Lauderdale Airport, June, 2000

The heavy heat of Florida in the summer hit me the instant we stepped from the plane onto the jet bridge leading to the terminal. Dad warned me it would be different from the last time we came to Florida at Christmas years ago. This was

really

different.

"Holy shit! Feel that?" Lily said next to me. One of the things I loved about her was the sheer wonder and passion that she faced every aspect of the world. Lily had always been super enthusiastic, but after the hell she went through last year, she relished every new experience like it was her first, and God forbid, her last. Even being blasted in the face by a heat wave was exciting to her. It was the first vacation we'd ever taken together, and for Lily, everything from passing through security to the flight attendant's safety demonstration was an adventure. I have to say, I was equally as happy as she was. Not too long ago, this seemed unimaginable. There was so much to celebrate and be thankful for.

"I can't wait to get on the beach to get some color," Lily called back to me from a few steps ahead, because she was too anxious to walk with me. I was walking a bit slower because I was lugging both of our carry-on bags.

"Well, you can't get too much sun, milktoast." I teased.

Lily turned around and rolled her eyes at me. "Yeah, I know, Dr. Serrano. I remember all the instructions. I should have been blessed with your Puerto Rican complexion."

"I don't get it, you're a full-blooded Italian. Babe, you've never had any color," I said.

Lily's exaggerated pout made me laugh. Her face was so damned expressive.

"And now I'm barred from even trying," she replied with sincere disgust.

"Little bits babe. It'll be great, no worries." I tried to console her.

Lily emitted a low-key scream and jumped up and down. "Yes! It's going to be fucking great!" She threw her arms around me, nearly knocking me off my feet because of the two heavy bags. "Oh my God, sorry. Give me my backpack, will ya? You're not my sherpa." Lily grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulders.

The directional signs overhead caught my eye. "We've got to go to baggage claim four. Then find the hotel shuttle. We're almost there, babe. Look out Luna Beach, we're going to have so much fucking fun this week." I said, maybe a bit too loud. Sometimes my voice carried farther than I wanted it to.

"You bet your sexy ass we are." Lily was only a tiny bit quieter. She was bouncing toward the escalator, not burdened at all by that backpack which looked half her size and weight.

Standing at the bottom of the escalator were several people, mostly men, dressed in black suits and holding signs with people's names. I recognized these chauffeurs from other trips to airports, but I'd never seen one with my name on it. One of the drivers waiting there, a woman, held a sign which read,

Lily Lucci and Rosa Serrano

.

"What the fuuuuck!" We both exclaimed at the same time. We did that sometimes.

"My dad said the hotel had a shuttle," Lily said. "He didn't say we had a private chauffeur."

"Oh my God, Your dad is sending us off in style."

"That's us!" Lily cried, leaping off the escalator and running up to the chauffeur girl. "I'm Lily and this is Rosa."

She looked older than us, probably late 20's, with shoulder length auburn hair pulled back in a ponytail. She had that gorgeous fair skin common in natural redheads. I felt immediately drawn to her emerald eyes and the bright smile she gave us.

"Hi Lily and Rosa, I'm Devon. It's very nice to meet you. Once you get your bags we'll head to the hotel." Devon led us toward the spinning carousels of suitcases to our left. I noticed her amazing figure in the form-fitting black pants and white blouse. She had all the qualities of a model, yet here she was, our chauffeur. Maybe she was paying her way through college.

Our suitcases finally appeared on the baggage claim belt. I collected mine with no problem, but Lily was struggling, so I helped her grab the bag before she ended up being dragged onto the belt.

"Aww, thanks Rosa-

Belle

," she said with the very exaggerated Spanish rolling of the R in the first half of my name, then a thick southern drawl in the second. She'd turned my actual full name into her own pet name long ago.

Once we had the bags, Devon led us outside to...how fucking awesome... a black limousine. She saw our surprise and grinned as she opened the car door.

"There are drinks in the fridge and ice in the bucket," Devon offered. "If you're 21, you can have the beer and wine." We couldn't show her our ID's fast enough. "Ok, you're on vacation, so start the party," Devon said with a wink. We climbed into the car. Lily sat next to me in the seat facing front, but then after a few seconds she jumped to the seat along the right side window. Then, without warning, she bounced over to the seat across from me, the one which backed up to the glass panel separating us from the front seat. "So many seats to choose from," she said with a giggle.

Lily was like a kid. She'd never been in a limo before. I had, but only once, at senior prom. Derek and I went with three other couples, and we all squeezed in to save money. Lily didn't have a prom date, so she didn't go. I wanted her to go solo so we could hang together; it was our prom after all, but she didn't want to be Derek and my third wheel. The prom was fun enough I guess, but there was a void without Lily. Nothing was as fun for me if Lily wasn't part of it. We were

The Wonder Twins,

that's what my parents called us. Lily and I had been inseparable since the second grade, when my dad moved us to Scranton.

After loading the suitcases in the trunk, Devon got in the front seat and opened the glass partition. "Ok, you ladies ready?"

"YES!" We both shouted, and I dug into the little fridge and opened a bottle of white wine.

"Lily, your father booked this limo for you only yesterday," Devon said, "He said that you girls deserved more than a shuttle bus. He wanted every part of your trip to be special. You know, he did specifically ask for a female driver. Is he a little overprotective?"

"Oh my God, you have no idea. He's such a worrier," Lily said. "Do you know I have to call him twice a day to let him know we're still alive?"

Through the rearview mirror, I saw our pretty driver's amusement. "Daddy's little girl, I feel your pain. Don't let it mess up your fun though," Devon said.

"Oh, one hundred percent, we're going to have fun." Lily's reply was so loud it bounced off the walls of the limo. She changed seats and sat next to me again.

It was about a forty minute drive from the Fort Lauderdale airport to Luna Beach, the resort town where we were staying. Devon asked if we wanted to close the partition for privacy, but I wanted it open so we could talk along the way. She was intriguing and I wanted to know her story.

Devon was two years out of college, with a visual arts degree. She was now a photographer, trying to build her business, but for extra money she worked for her parents' limousine company. I was stoked, photography was one of my hobbies.

"What do you like to shoot?" I asked her.

"Actually, everything. I do a lot of new baby photoshoots, family portraits, and rich people in Florida have a lot of parties and they like professional photos. I've only done a couple of weddings, but I'm always getting called for engagement photos. Lately, I've had a bunch of boudoir photo sessions."

I caught Devon's eye in the mirror. "Boudoir?"

Lily was very attentive. "What's that?" She asked.

"Boudoir photography is usually girls who want to take sexy photographs of themselves, usually for their husbands or boyfriends. They're tasteful photos though, so it's not like porn, but sometimes there is partial nudity. It's usually one person, but I've had a few couples come in and I photograph them together."

Lily's mouth was hanging open. "Oh wow, God I'd love to see that." That reaction surprised me a little, but, in the past few months, the subject of sex had been creeping into Lily's conversations more often.

"In fact, yesterday I did a photo shoot with two guys celebrating their fifth anniversary. They're actually staying at an all-male resort near you. Clothing is optional there." Devon said.

"Wait, they have gay resorts?" I asked. "For real?" Things like that didn't exist in Scranton.

Devon smiled. "Yes indeed," she said, "there are a bunch of them here. You're not in Kansas anymore, Toto. To top it off, you're here for Pride Month."

President Clinton had just declared it. I heard the term before. Lily apparently hadn't, which Devon caught onto through the mirror.

"Gay and Lesbian Pride Month? Oh you guys are going to get an education this week," Devon said, her pretty green eyes twinkling a little.

"Oh my God, I think we really are," Lily said excitedly. She grabbed my hand. "Can you imagine if my mom knew there was a gay nude resort near us?"

I suddenly had a great visual of Lily's mother. She'd have a fucking meltdown before running in terror to her bible for comfort. I loved Lily's father, but Mrs. Lucci was another story. Lily might not hold a grudge for last year, but I did.

"So what do you two have planned for the week?" Devon asked.

"Beaches and food and frozen drinks," Lily answered without hesitation. "I want nothing but fun for the next six days."

"Just don't forget to text home three times a day or your dad might fly down here and totally down your cool," Devon cautioned.

"Exactly." I patted Lily's bare thigh. "Keep them happy, and then we'll be happy."

Lily flashed me that great smile, and covered my hand with hers, holding it to her soft skin. I felt no compulsion to move it.

I noticed through the front window that the car was heading toward the beach block. The ocean was ahead, so beautifully blue and welcoming. The beach was bordered by a row of towering palm trees.

"Hey to the left here is that all male hotel where I did the photo shoot yesterday." Devon gestured out the side window with her thumb. She called it a 'hotel' but it was more like an old style motel, two levels with a wraparound deck that each room opened onto. I couldn't see anything else because there was a high wall around the place. I guess total privacy was a necessity in a place like that.

Lily stared out the window as we passed by. "I think we may need to take a walk there." She whispered loudly enough that Devon, and probably the whole town could hear.

"If you want to see some of that action, then just go to South End Beach," Devon suggested to us. "It's the gay beach. Nudity isn't allowed but you will definitely see some things you're obviously not used to."

Devon turned the corner and pulled the limo up in front of the hotel entrance. "Ok, it's time for the best week of your life."

I really didn't want the ride to end yet, because I was enjoying the pretty redhead's company and conversation. "Devon, do you have a business card, so we can call you to take us back to the airport next week?" I asked. "Or maybe, I don't know, call you to take a professional souvenir picture of our trip if we have any money left by the end of the week?"

"I sure do. I'd love to drive you back to the airport. And I'd really, really love to take your pictures." Devon said. She reached back and held her card through the partition, and as I took it from her hand, I felt the lock that her deep green eyes had on me through the rearview mirror.

____________

"Oh my God, Rosa-

Belle

, look how amazing!" Lily just bolted into our 17th floor room, dropping her suitcase in the doorway, which made me trip trying to get through myself. I couldn't help but laugh. It was like being with a five year old. The room was spacious with two Queen beds, a desk, kitchenette, a chair and ottoman. Lily didn't notice any of it. She was running toward the opposite wall and the sliding door that took up most of it. She flung it open and went out onto the large balcony.

Lily pressed her body against the rail, her bare arms outstretched to either side, reminding me of the scene from Titanic. Beyond the balcony, and out to the horizon, was the full expanse of the Atlantic Ocean. It was beautiful in two shades of blue. I went out and stood behind her, breathing in the sight of it all. The joy in life, my Titi Madeline once told me, was in the collection of truly perfect moments. These memories then helped us cope through our most difficult times. Standing there with Lily, I couldn't think of another perfect moment in my life that was better than this one. I wish I'd had more of these stored up to help strengthen me while I watched Lily suffer the way she did for so many months.

From our balcony we could see, not only the ocean to the east, but the resort landscape for miles both north and west. "Damn, Lily! We're going to be able to watch both sunrise and sunset from here." I said.

"Oh yeah, like I'm gonna get up that early. I'll watch the sunset with you for sure."

"Yeah, well we'll see. I might just have to carry you out here to watch with me."

Lily's face lit up. "Ya know, if we're lucky, we'll be just getting in at sunset. That's what I'm aiming for." She slapped my hand in a high-five. "Let's get this shit started, baby."

We were starving. After changing into my bikini and cover-up, I parked myself on the balcony and read through the hotel guide while Lily went into the bathroom to change. The resort had four restaurants, including a pub on the sixth floor that had food service out to the pool. That was just the kind of thing we were looking for.

"I think I'm ready." Lily posed in the doorway in cutoff denim shorts, and coral blue tankini top.

"Babe, that's like the perfect color for you. It matches your eyes, and, look out there," I pointed to the ocean, "it's the same color blue. You look so fuckin' pretty." She really did, like I didn't want to stop looking at her. It was a weird feeling

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh Yeah," she said sarcastically, "five feet tall, all ass and thighs. A real work of art. Fortunately, once you take off that cover-up, nobody will notice me when they see you in that bikini."

The comment stung a little. I would never try to upstage her. I mean the only thing that mattered in the world was that Lily was alive. "Well, no matter what, you're going to be my favorite thing at that pool," I said, and gave her a fist bump. Then, out of nowhere, we both screamed gleefully in unison, as if on queue. Sometimes weird stuff happened like that with us.

The outdoor pool was surrounded by rows of chaise lounges. In spite of the fact that the pool deck was packed with people, we managed to find two lounges, one partially covered by an umbrella, which was perfect for Lily. Within a few minutes of sitting down, a beautiful tall blonde guy, Lukas, according to the name tag on his very tight polo shirt, handed us menus. "I'll be back in just a few mee-nuts to take your order," he said softly, in a thick accent. When he walked away, we were left with the view of his very tight ass in white shorts. I was so glad I had my sunglasses on so I could stare at it stealthily.

"Soooo, am I still your favorite thing at the pool, Bitch?" Lily was staring at me over her sunglasses.

She busted me, and it made me laugh. "Jesus Christ, as if his looks alone weren't good enough, what the fuck was that accent?"

"Eastern Europe, I think. Fuck, he sounds like Dracula." Lily replied.

By the time Lukas returned, I'd already removed my cover-up and was sitting up in the lounge in my yellow bikini. Timing is everything, of course. He wasn't successful in hiding the fact that he was checking me out. Score! We ordered two sandwiches, a mudslide for Lily, and a Pina Colada for me. This time, when Lukas walked away, Lily shook her head. "Whore," she spat with a smile.

"Hey, you are still my favorite thing at this pool." Lily was my favorite thing everywhere.

An hour later the sandwiches were eaten, we were on our second drink, and basking in the peaceful glow of our buzz. Lily had removed the denim shorts and was comfortable enough to even pull the tankini top up to just under her breasts to try and tan her stomach for a little while. She understood her limits and the tankini bottom was high enough to cover the four small scars on her abdomen.

I realized I was watching Lily from behind my glasses, I couldn't help it. I'd seen her in bathing suits before, but I guess I didn't really notice how naturally cute she was. Lily couldn't be bothered with the cosmetic rituals of most girls, including me. I had an entire bathroom full of hair and make-up products, but the totality of Lily's fit in the little free Clinique cosmetic bag I gave her after spending fifty dollars on my eye shadows. Lily wore eyeliner and lipstick sometimes, but that was it. Her pixie cut hair required shampoo, conditioner and a towel to dry it. She'd sooner spend that hundred dollars on comic books or colored pencils and sketch pads. That was her passion. She obviously didn't need the rest of it. She was just fucking adorable.

Lily's mouth curled into a smile. I had a feeling that she'd just read my thoughts; that was another thing that happened with us sometimes.

"Soooo, there's something we need to talk about," Lily said after an extra long sip of mudslide. Her voice was quiet, which was surprising after a day full of her excited shouting.

"Sure, what's up?" I tried to sound nonchalant, but everyone in the world knew that

something we need to talk about

usually meant a difficult conversation.

"I don't want you to be mad, ok?"

"Ummm...ok? Why would I be mad?"

"Because I gave it up to Scotty last month and I'm just telling you now." Lily blurted it out really fast and then bit her lip, watching me for a response.

I needed a second to process that. "Scotty the bartender?" I think I may have screamed that part out loudly.

"Of course. He's my friend. Who else would I trust to give it up to?"

"You fucked Scotty?" I actually heard the sound of disbelief in my voice.

"Well I think that's what 'giving it up' means, so yeah." Lily giggled.

Lily had been obsessed with sex lately; now there was an explanation. But why him?

"When did this happen?" I asked.

"At a party. We had a couple of drinks. We were having fun, and honest to God, I was just done with the whole waiting bit, Rosa. What if I'd died last year without having sex? I was just tired of being the last holdout, I was sick of hearing my mother preaching against it, and I honestly just wanted it over with. Scotty is cute, and he was flirting a lot that night. Just seemed like the right time."

"Wait, he was flirting? He likes you?" My tone was different now, and I didn't understand why.

"Well, not like that. But we're good friends, and he knows everything I've been through, and that it was my first time, and I knew he'd be good for it," Lily said, then smiled as if recalling the circumstances. "He was actually really sweet."

"Do you have feelings for him?" I felt the rum from the Pina Colada burning in my gut.

"Not like real feelings," Lily said. "He's my friend, and I was done with my fucking virginity." She glanced around to see if anyone was paying attention.

Lily wanting to rid herself of her cherry and choosing a good friend to do it was more palatable to me than her wanting to fuck said friend because she had a crush on him that she never confided to me. I could proceed with a rational discussion now. "Why did you wait so long to tell me? Derek hadn't even taken his condom off, and I was already on the phone with you," I reminded her.

"I know, believe me I wanted to. But I really wanted to wait until we were here, together before I told you. I'm not even sure why. I really hope you're not mad at me." Lily reached out and took my hand, intertwining our fingers.