Allyson

At first the call from Audra caught the boys off guard, but they quickly recovered. While Wayne pulled the sleeping bags out of the tent and rolled to them up, Paul loaded the fishing gear and coolers. Aubrey soon had the tent down, and after a walk over to clean up any litter they were on their way.

All three were tired so to keep awake they started to chatter. A number of things came up, but in the back of everyone's mind there was only one topic that anyone cared about.

"So she wants to talk. What do you think it's about?" asked Wayne.

Aubrey was in the front seat. He punched his brother on the arm, "What do you think stupid?"

Paul shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. Maybe she's lonely. I guess she's afraid."

Wayne supposed, "You think this could be the big...you know?

Aubrey got ready to punch his brother again, but Wayne flinched so Aubrey relented, "What else could it be?"

"I don't know," was Paul's desultory reply.

"You know." hinted Aubrey.

"No I don't know," responded Paul.

"Come on Paul," Wayne jibed.

"You come on. I really don't know." Paul jibed back.

Aubrey laid it out, "She wants to either tell you she's loves you, or she wants to say good bye."

Wayne looked at Aubrey, "Don't worry. The good bye's are out. Mom won't let her leave, not yet anyway."

Aubrey answered, "She can't make her stay."

Wayne retorted, "Yes she can."

Paul listened to his brothers; he remembered they'd had an Uncle Pete who'd been diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. All through his last weeks they'd stuck by him. They tried to keep his spirits up. Paul remembered every once in a while Pete would look at them as if to say, 'I know you boys care, but I'm the one dying, and no matter what you say its still just doesn't matter. You know its still me that's got to go.' Paul felt that way right now. His brothers only wanted to help, but he knew the awful truth. She'd dump him. Oh sure she'd do it the right way. She'd be graceful, sincere, and all, but dump him she would. He knew the reasons too; she'd say he was too young, too immature, not ready for prime time. He knew too; those weren't the real reasons. The truth was she was just afraid, afraid she might hurt him, afraid he might hurt her. It hurt. It hurt a lot. He knew there was no argument, no magic answer. She had to play it out on her own. He could only watch, hope, pray, and be there.

Aubrey saw Paul had been drifting off. "Paul, you think so?"

Paul looked up, "Think what?"

"That mom won't let her leave."

Wayne didn't wait for Paul. He verbally hit back, "I know so, and so do you."

Aubrey looked at Paul, "What do you think."

Paul shrugged, "I don't know."

Wayne looked at Paul, "You don't know anything."

"I know I don't want her to leave. I want her to tell me she loves me. I want to keep her in my life. I might even want to marry her some day. Yeah I'd like that."

Aubrey asked, "You mean some day, but not right now."

Paul slumped, "I don't think either of us is ready for that yet. I'd like her to be there though. I mean if we ever are ready."

Wayne asked, "What if she's ready now?"

Paul answered quickly, "I'd marry her. I'd marry her today. This morning if that's what she wanted."

They drove on for several miles without any further comment. The brothers were each considering what to say next.

At last Aubrey asked, "What if she wants to leave. Say good bye I mean. Just ditch you and move on."

Paul didn't wince, but he sure gave a good imitation of it, "You already said it. Mom won't let her just leave. She'll find some way to keep her around."

Wayne asked, "And if mom does keep her around?"

Paul leaned back. A little more confidently he asserted, "Then I'll still be in the game."

Wayne asked, "What can we do? To help I mean."

Paul looked at his brother for the first time. "You two just be yourselves. The more natural you two are the better it will be for me."

Aubrey raised an eyebrow, "You think so?"

Paul looked out the front windshield. It was like he was trying to peer into the future, "I know so."

No one said anything for another twenty minutes, but the morning was getting a little long in the tooth, the sun was up. They were hungry. As they approached the lights of a small town Aubrey espied a Denny's, "Let's stop and get something to eat."

Paul was hungry but argued, "No let's keep going."

Wayne was driving. He was hungry, and he wanted to think some more before they got home, "No let's stop and eat."

Paul was a little put off by his brothers, "Let's get some carry out."

Aubrey demurred, "No let's go in."

Wayne had the final word, "We're going in."

Paul shrugged again.

Wayne pulled the Blazer into the parking lot. They all got out and went in. Aubrey and Wayne were determined to drag things out as long as possible. They both independently surmised Paul shouldn't be allowed to rush into anything, not anything that seemed this important.

For sure they could remember Paul had always been backward, even fearful, when it came to girls; a leader true, and older brother always, but when it came to girls he was a basket case. They knew he liked girls; that wasn't it. He just froze around them. Even Lauren, after all the years they'd been around, even she could still break him down. Allyson was the first girl he seemed to really care about. When he talked about her he was a different person. They couldn't let this one get away.

The two younger brothers looked back and forth at each other and at Paul. They were both thinking the same thing. There had to be a way to keep things going. They had to find something that would keep Allyson around.

Paul realized the drive home, and his chance to hear what Allyson had on her mind would take a little longer. He wondered; was he the condemned man like Uncle Pete, or the lucky man for whom a miracle cure would be found at the last moment. Whatever the outcome, he guessed it could wait a little while longer.

++++++++++++

Allyson slowly started to awaken. She was in that semi-dream state half way between arousal and sleep. She was still heavily sedated, and the antibiotic they'd prescribed caused drowsiness. She couldn't remember where she was. In fact she couldn't remember much of anything. Her back really ached. She remembered the beating, Paul had rescued her. She thought, 'Paul'.

She remembered she was at Paul's parents. She wanted to go back to sleep. It had been so good. She'd been dreaming. She pulled the warm soft quilt up over her head. She snuggled back into the thick pillow. She smelled it. It had a faintly familiar fragrance. No fragrance was a bad choice of words. This had its own aroma; a man's aroma.

She curled more tightly into a small comfortable safe little ball, like a warm fetus she tried to huddle into the tiniest of spaces. Her back really hurt. She didn't care. She wanted to go back to sleep but couldn't. That aroma, that scent, it was like Old Spice, a man's after shave. Paul had come into her small room back where she used to stay, back at John's. He'd wrapped her in a blanket and carried her away. She remembered how she'd clung to him. She'd wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. She'd nestled her head under his chin. That was when she first noticed the Old Spice. It was his smell.

Allyson couldn't quite get back to sleep. She lay curled in the warmth of Paul's big bed, wrapped under his big heavy quilt, her head on his pillow. She felt safe. She burrowed her head deeper in the pillow.

She remembered when she was little the men at the foster homes all their own aromas. Some had that sickly sweet smell of deodorant over body odor. Others used those strong fruity smells; some used nothing and just stunk. John had been a fruity smell guy. One of the foster care men she remembered used Old Spice. She had liked him. She'd trusted him. He'd never looked at her in that smarmy way men had when they looked at girls; he'd never tried to touch her. Paul had that man's smell. Just coincidence she was sure. It never mattered before, but somehow it seemed to matter now.

She pressed her head deeper in the pillow. Paul had the right smell, or was it the right smell because it was Paul's?

She couldn't get back to sleep. She pulled the quilt down and squinted out across the room. Paul's mother was next to her asleep in a big chair. There was a robe at the foot of the bed.

Allyson quietly climbed off the far side of the bed. She crept down and slipped on the robe. God her back was sore. She could tell this was an older house, well built, solid hardwood floors that didn't creak. She made her way to the door, silently opened it and sidled awkwardly down the hall.

She kept one hand against the wall as she sneaked toward the stairs. The wall was cool; old plaster, real plaster, not drywall. She imagined this house was like a mansion when she'd first seen it back at the end of summer. That had been when she'd come as a baby sitter. The place had looked so big, so stately. As she reached the top of the stairs she realized this was more than a mansion; this was a home, a real home.

She carefully inched down the stairs one step at a time. Her back was really stiff. She ached all over. There were things she noticed that made the place more like a home at every step. There were faint hand marks on the stairway walls, some were little, children's hand prints, some were bigger. She imagined some of them might be Paul's when he was a little boy, some when he was older. She smoothed the tips of her fingers over the smudges, 'Paul's little child's fingers might have done this.'

She reached the bottom of the steps and briefly stopped. Half fearful she might have awakened Paul's mom she looked back up the steps. Her back really bothered her. She didn't want to get caught roaming around their house. She didn't want anyone to accuse her of snooping around.

She checked out the carpet on the stairs. It was well worn; she imagined a lot of feet, children's feet, had used these steps. She'd been on these steps before. She sat down for a moment.

The last time she was on these steps was when the boys had trapped her and stripped off her clothes. Paul had tied her hands behind her with the laces from her shoes. She'd been really scared. He'd tied her hands really tight. She'd talked really fast. The other two had that look; that look like she was some piece of meat. Paul had been behind her so she never saw his facial expression. It didn't matter, he had listened. She reflected on how he always listened. He listened to her that day especially. She liked that now. No matter what; he always paid attention to her.

She remembered John. He always pretended to pay attention, at least at first. She knew he only pretended. Later when Hannah came he seldom listened, he always talked down to her, treated her like she was a child; his pet or some play thing.

Allyson got up and walked over to the sofa where they'd let her sit down and get dressed again. She looked around the room. She liked it here. She really liked it. She imagined herself reclining on the sofa, reading a novel or playing on her cell phone. It all looked so warm, so inviting.

She fantasized about growing up in this house. She would have been the oldest child, the older sister. She would have taken care of the boys, helped them with their homework, she could have helped Mrs. Hanson do things like the dishes and the laundry. She would have enjoyed doing chores here. She just knew Mrs. Hanson had to have been a great mom. She probably read stories to the boys when they were little. She bet Mrs. Hanson would have read stories to her too. That would have been so great, a real mom. She slapped herself back to reality. That never happened.

Thirsty, she thought she'd find the kitchen; maybe get a drink of water. She walked through the dining room. Somehow she knew where everything was, where everything was supposed to be.

As she slipped through the dining room she saw pictures. There were pictures everywhere, all over the place. Of course, she recognized who they were. There were the boys plastered all over the walls. She saw lots of Paul. The other two were there too. She just couldn't remember their names. There was a picture of them in some kind of uniform. They were wearing Boy Scout uniforms. Paul was a Boy Scout! Well that figured! Once that might have been funny; it didn't seem funny anymore, Paul the Boy Scout, Paul the good deed doer. Allyson sniffed. He really was good.

There were a couple pictures of Lauren. She liked Lauren. She thought how great it would be to have a friend like Lauren. They could've had sleep overs, shared their dreams, talked about boys, dressed the same way at school, and done all the things best friends did.She thought about Lauren and Paul; that made her a little jealous.

There was a small picture of a man and woman in tuxedo and wedding dress. That had to be Paul's mom and dad. Gosh, they looked happy. This was a happy room; a happy room in a warm and happy home. What a really special place. It must have been wonderful growing up here.

Allyson felt a little bit like she wanted to cry. Everything she'd ever wanted. All the things she'd ever dreamed about when she was a little girl were right here. There really were places like this; families.

Still thirsty she found the kitchen. She looked around. It was just what she expected; a weathered kitchen table,a white refrigerator covered in magnets and notes, a counter-top with a micro-wave, and a sink. There was a turkey in the sink. Above the sink there was a cupboard. She saw the coffee maker, the scratched up chairs, a broom in the corner, a toaster all marked up with finger prints.

Allyson went to the cupboard next to the window that was above the sink. Yep, there they were; the glasses. She found a big one, and filled it from the sink. She hefted it to her lips and swallowed down a good draught. Boy that was good!

++++++++++++

Jeremy heard noises in the kitchen. He'd been asleep in his little cave; that's what he and Audra called the little room they'd set up across from the kitchen. He'd used it more and more of late as a place to rest, relax, watch television, and work on the computer he had. It was a mixed office and bedroom. He could work or sleep as the spirit summoned him.

Since Allyson had been ensconced in Paul's room with Audra there to play nurse, Jeremy agreed his part was to do the early morning Thanksgiving preparations. He'd already gotten the bird out, stacked the canned foods, and placed the frozen packages in the refrigerator.

He checked the dial on the radio clock. It was still too early to get the bird in the oven. He wondered who was in the kitchen. Maybe it was Audra? Maybe she needed some help, or more likely reassurances that he could handle the turkey properly? He quietly got out of bed, slipped on a pair of old denim jeans and slippers and padded into the kitchen.

It was Allyson. She hadn't heard him come in. He cautiously whispered, "Good morning. Can I help you with anything?"

Allyson turned around. Visibly surprised and frightened she diffidently replied, "No. I'm all right."

Jeremy saw she was scared, "Hi, I'm Jeremy, Paul's dad. You remember me I hope."

Allyson recognized his face, but was too groggy and too heavily medicated to know much. She answered, "Sure, I was just thirsty; thought I'd get some water." She took her glass and backed away.

Jeremy watched as the young woman moved to the other side of the table. His first thought was he was watching a scared kitten trying to put objects and distance between itself and something it perceived as a threat. He pretended not to notice. He went to the cupboard and got a glass. He poured himself a tall water, "I'm with you. There's nothing like a glass of water when you're really thirsty."

Allyson didn't say anything. She watched the older man with dread.

He pretended everything was as it should be, "Think I'll make a pot of coffee." He reached for the empty pot and filled it at the sink. Then he opened a second cupboard, got out the filters and a can of coffee. He asked, "You want some?"

Allyson had recovered some of her poise. She wasn't so much afraid as she was worried he might have thought she'd been scavenging. She murmured, "Yes, thank you."

Jeremy scooped the coffee into the filter and put it in the coffee strainer, "It won't take long. Let's sit down." He pulled out a chair on his side of the table and sat down.

Allyson didn't move.

Jeremy decided it was time to offer some reassurances, "You needn't be afraid of me. I'm Paul's dad. You know, the dad?"

Allyson leaned back against refrigerator, "I know."

He didn't try to move. He was an old hand when it came to kids. He was going to put this girl at ease if it killed him. He pointed at the water filled sink, "Look, see the turkey?" He pointed to the stacks of cans on the counter, "See the cans? I'm supposed to get Thanksgiving dinner ready. You know Audra's upstairs taking care of this sick little girl who lives with us now." He tried to watch her with a bland expression hoping she didn't see through him. It had just occurred to him he really did want her to stay.

Allyson still didn't move, "She was asleep. I didn't want to awaken her."

The coffee was ready. Jeremy remained seated, but pointed to the refrigerator, "Would you get out the half and half, while I get two cups?" He got up and reached for two cups.

Allyson turned, opened the refrigerator and got out the cream. She pushed it across the table.

Jeremy poured two cups. He placed them both on the table and sat down. He had to say something, "Look I know you've had a tough time. It's OK now. I'm the father around here. No one's going to hurt you while I'm here. I promise."

Allyson sat at the table. She didn't take the proffered coffee. She watched Paul's father.

It wasn't that he was losing patience. He just wanted to be as reassuring as possible, "I mean it Allyson. I saw what that creep did to you. I got so mad I punched him in the nose." He smiled and made like he punched his own nose, "He cried too."

Allyson's eyes grew as wide as saucers, "You punched John in the nose?"

"Sure did. He cried and ran out of my office."

"Why did you do that?"

Jeremy was a little taken aback, "Allyson. He beat you up. He hit a girl. Men don't hit women. Besides, you're my Paul's girlfriend. You're one of the family."

"You hit him in the nose."

Jeremy nodded.

"You hit him and he cried."

Jeremy nodded again.

"You hit him because of what he did to me."

Jeremy nodded a third time.

Allyson was confused, "He won't?"

"You'll never see him again. Never, I promise." He pushed the half and half in her direction, "You want any sugar?"

Allyson accepted the half and half, "No thank you." She poured some of the creamer in her coffee. She took a sip, "Paul was a Boy Scout."

Jeremy smiled, "Still is. So are Wayne and Aubrey. They're all good boys."

She took a sip of coffee. She said more to herself than to Jeremy, "So you punched John in the nose and he cried."

++++++++++++

Upstairs Audra awakened and saw Allyson wasn't in bed, "Allyson?" She looked around the room. She checked the small adjoining bathroom. She surmised Allyson must have gone downstairs. She slipped on her robe and slippers and started downstairs. She got all the way to the dining room when she heard them in the kitchen. She silently pulled out a dining room chair and sat down to listen.

++++++++++++

Back in the kitchen Allyson told Jeremy, "You know Paul likes science."

"He likes Physics."

"Yes, he's going back east to study."

"He might."

"You think he might not go?"

"He's worried about you Allyson. I think if you aren't OK he'll probably decide to stay here."