"Going stag is just the way it's going to have to be," Alex told his friend, Brian, as they sat together in the coffee shop before work. The holidays were over, and it was just another early Monday of January. "The press won't like it. The other companies won't like it, but what are they gonna do... blacklist me?"
"Are you sure you don't want to bring Caroline along?" Brian offered once again. "She thinks you're great, and you two have been around each other since I began dating her three months ago. She knows enough about you to seem familiar enough to pass as your girlfriend for the duration of the convention. It would make her whole world to be able to dress up and spend some time with..."
"Look, Bri," Alex interrupted his best friend of over 13 years. "I appreciate it, and I hope you'll tell her that I really would love to do that, but I just can't. Remember the time we met at the bar and talked about my epic failure of a relationship the last time?"
"Dude, The Vikings beat the Bears. When are they gonna catch a break?"
"True, but not what I meant, Brian," Alex chided as he shook his head. "You told me you could
feel
it that the right person was out there. I'm holding out now. Besides," Alex continued and sighed, "if the reporter or right photographer comes along and asks us to kiss or look more into each other, I'd feel bad for her by dissing her. I wouldn't kiss your girl, dude, no matter how much pressure they put on us. Care doesn't deserve that.
You
don't deserve that."
"I mean, I appreciate that, but it's not like she'd fall in love with you," Brian argued. "I guess I get it. Even the acting part would make things weird. So... stag, huh?"
"What other choice do I have?" Alex asked and stood up to begin their leave from the coffee shop.
***
"Happy birthday, Alex!" the four friends cheered as they all raised their glasses into the air in the early afternoon of Friday, January 22.
"It's not until Monday, but thanks, guys," Alex responded as he finally raised his beer into the air to join theirs. They all took healthy drinks and then landed the glasses on the table with large sighs.
"So, wanna know what we got ya?" Terry asked excitedly, striking Alex as odd. First, Terry was way more excited at that moment than he had been at any of their other get-togethers. Other than his occasional comments regarding the ladies or his
many
opinions on the beloved sports teams of the Chicagoland area, Terry was often known to simply be an observer. Second, since when did the guys get him a gift? Surely, he didn't need anything. He was the richest of them by more times than they ever cared to acknowledge.
"What are you talking about?" Alex asked and shook his head. The guys had never
given
him anything. Brian, on occasion, had maybe done something through the years, mostly by his mom's encouragement when they were younger, but as a group? Never.
"Well, we were talking about what to do for your birthday," Brian explained hesitantly. Alex could sense a little awkward tension in Brian's voice, but he couldn't place it.
"When Paulie jokingly told us he thought maybe, you know, since you still haven't landed the right chick for the convention next week," Terry continued since Brian had taken a half-breath too long to explain, "that maybe we should stake out the emergency rooms in the area to see if there are any girls who have a case of laryngitis who might want to get all dolled up and join you for the event." Alex looked at his newest friend in awe. "Unfortunately, no cases came in the night we picked to see if anyone was available, so that got thrown out."
"What?!" Alex asked suddenly.
"Nah, man!" Terry answered and laughed aloud. "I'm just playin' with ya," he told him as he continued laughing and went on to pat Alex's back. "Actually, though, I was talking to a friend of mine who knows this guy whose
sister
..."
"Oh, come
on
," Alex argued as he shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Who has a sister whose cousin twice removed on her mother's side by way of a third marriage..." he mocked. "What the heck are you getting at? I'm not taking some rando to the convention, passing her off as my girlfriend, and expecting things to happen all smoothly. I can't, especially
now
, meet someone and find that connection, even if it is simply decent attraction, and put her through the photographers, interviews, questions, and comments from all the industry just because the media expects me to have a woman on my arm. I have decided to go stag, and there's not a whole lot that can be done about it."
A patron entered the bar as Alex had stopped talking. The wind and blowing snow seemed to have picked up since the guys had settled into their spots at the table. A deep chill had accompanied the people who'd just entered as one made her way to the bar and the other headed toward the back of the place. Alex hurried to open his weather app and frowned.
Alex had seen reports of an incoming storm which had been brewing and headed their way in the Chicago area. A hesitant email from the convention committee had come in that morning informing the many heads of all companies which would be attending the convention that a decision about whether to cancel or plan on going ahead with the event would be shared no later than 7pm that evening. It was 2pm, and no email had come yet. Wouldn't a cancelled event fix his biggest issue, not to mention this silly notion that he still needed a date?
"Besides," Alex continued as he closed his weather app and set his phone back down onto the table in front of him, "there are still a whole
five
hours left for the convention committee to cancel this whole gig and fix my issues. I know you guys wouldn't get me a chick for my birthday, but I appreciate the amusement of the matter. I don't need a date
that
bad, especially one who can't ruin my business any more than the last one tried to do. So, I'm feeling generous. I'll allow you to
tell
me what you supposedly got me, though I don't need to tell you that nothing except this gathering today was really needed to show me..."
"But just hear us out," Terry interrupted and put up his hands. "Like I said, I know this guy who knows a guy whose
sister
actually has a case of long-term laryngitis." Alex shook his head. Was he really seriously trying to sell this idea? "The girl is... I don't know how else to say it. Um, well, she lost her job, and with the medical bills and stuff, well, she is having to, uh..."
"She's an escort," Eric clarified. Alex raised his eyebrows in shock, only to have them go even higher when his best friend Brian spoke up.
"But she's never had work before, so she's, um, well... you'd be her first date, uh, client," Brian offered as what seemed like a way to ease his best friend into this venture. Alex was incredibly put off by the suggestion. Well, let's face it. He was hardly even entertaining the idea any more than solidifying his place on the next mission to Mars, but the fact that
Brian
was backing the idea did make him ponder it, especially if the girl needed money and hadn't ever... Wait, was he actually considering it?
"Listen, it's on us," Terry offered to try to sell it some more. "There's no money to be exchanged, so it won't ever come back on you, ya know? When I told that friend about what you'd said after he had gone off on his old lady for not knowing when to shut her trap, he told me about this chick. She's here now."
"She's... here?" Alex asked and pondered whether his eyes could have gotten any wider. The guys were
serious
?
"Yeah, now, look," Terry continued since this clearly seemed to be his idea, and he didn't want to take anything but all the credit for what a great idea it was, "like we said, she's new. She's not about to approach you. She's going to be shy, not to mention unable to speak. She's not sick now, and the doctors say slowly but surely, apparently, she'll get her voice back. But for now, how about utilizing the opportunity?"
"You can't be serio..." Alex speculated once again.
"Totally serious, man!" Terry answered. "Just go up to her, you know, like you're approaching someone who you might find interesting on any other normal occasion. She's already a sure thing." Alex rolled his eyes. "I mean, no matter what, she's been paid. She's not going to say 'no' to an opportunity like this. She's paid up through Wednesday. Take her shopping for the clothes you'll want her to wear. Take her out to a few places. Who knows?"
"Who knows... what?" Alex asked as if Terry was speaking another language.
"Alex, who knows what will happen?" Brian offered and sighed. "I know it's crazy, but at least take the opportunity to meet her. She's sitting at the bar waiting for this. Introduce yourself to her. Make small talk. Since she can't say much, she'll answer with nods, I'm guessing, or we're told she has a small notepad."
"Really, Bri?" Alex asked quietly. He was actually asking Brian's advice here. Since when would Brian put him in a position like this unless he really thought it might work? Brian nodded which made Alex sigh.
"And if the whole convention gets called off, and you don't want to spend any more time with her, you can end up telling her that you didn't need her after all and send her packing," Paulie suggested as he stuck a piece of soft pretzel into his mouth.
"But listen. She's shy and embarrassed that things have come down to this," Terry explained. "You know, I mean needing to resort to taking on this approach to get enough money to pay for her medical bills and stuff. I guess the no talking thing doesn't help everyone out, huh?" Alex raised an eyebrow at that. "Don't mention the escort thing to her. Don't make it awkward for her. Just approach her like you'd pick up some chick at a bar." Alex snuck a peak at Brian who took that opportunity to conveniently look up at the TV which had the weather report going. Brian knew Alex the best and also knew for certain that Alex didn't pick up chicks in bars, or any other places for that matter. He couldn't believe he was about to say what came out of his mouth next.
"So, where is this... person?" Alex asked and watched as Terry pointed to the bar. A lone girl with shoulder-length brown hair was facing away from their table and watching the TV hanging above the rows of alcohol behind the bar. Nothing about her from the angle at which he was checking her out could give him more than an extremely vague description.
"Dude, you can't say we didn't put a lot of thought and effort into this one, right?" Eric asked as he smirked at his friend. "Who knows, right? Maybe this will be a life-changing experience?"
"And maybe it'll be the end of me," Alex quipped as he stood up. "Thanks for the thought, guys..."
"Wait! Don't go!" Terry began to argue but shut up as he watched Alex head over to the bar. "Oh, alright! Get it, dude!"
***
"Hi," Alex offered as he stood next to the girl who was still watching the weather report. He noticed that she had a worried look on her face. When she turned to look at him, he inhaled quickly and quietly.
Holy crap.
She was... beautiful. She wasn't wearing a hot getup like he'd seen female escorts wearing in the movies. She wore a cute top and normal jeans. She didn't have much make-up on (
Was she wearing any?
) and some of her hair was simply pulled back to keep it out of her eyes, or at least that's how it seemed. The girl gave him a curious smile. "This seat taken?" he asked. She responded by pointing at it invitingly.
Alex set his coat on the stool next to him since the bar was rather empty at that time of day. He then sat down and made eye contact with her. "Not to sound cliché or anything, but do you come around here often?" Alex asked and nearly did a facepalm. Was he really this bad at picking up chicks?
The girl picked up her pen and pad of paper and quickly wrote the words: "First Time" on it. Alex tilted his head and then made eye contact with her. He simply pointed at the pad and shrugged in a questioning manner. "Lost Voice" was her written response.
"Bummer," Alex offered and nodded. "Well, I'm Alex."
The girl hesitated for a few seconds before deciding to share her own name. "Ana," she wrote. She then put up her finger and quickly wrote: "/ah'-na/" under it.
"Ah-na?" Alex asked and then repeated it. "Ana. Oh, huh. That's pretty. Are you from around here?"
Ana nodded and then wrote: "Moved from the suburbs 4 1/2 years ago."
"Well, alright then," Alex told her decidedly and then raised his hand to the bartender as he asked her, "Would you like another drink? What are you having?"
She wrote: "Diet Coke - but I'm fine. Thank you."
"Did you settle your tab?" Alex asked as he resituated himself on the barstool again. Ana answered with a nod. "Alright then."
Ted, the bartender walked up and gave Alex a quick nod. "Hey, Alex What will it be?" As Ted glanced at Ana, he looked back at Alex and raised his eyebrows inquiring.
"Well, the lady seems to be set with her drink, so I guess I'll just get a Coke."
