Age Gap

This is the second part to Age Gap, I currently am not getting an editor for my stories as I am just starting off, but I hope to get better at story-telling and eventually find one, I hope you enjoy.

I found myself in a relationship with Amanda and her popularity spiked exponentially, being known as the first girl to capture my attention. After a few months of being with her, I started noticing things that made me regret my decision of accepting her request for a date. She had a cruel-streak when it came to the students that were attending school on scholarship, often ostracizing or ridiculing them. She started to remind me of Lily, and after three months of dating, I was no longer looking forward to her blow jobs.

"Maybe we should take this further," she said guiding my hand to her crotch. I quickly pulled my hand back as if stung. We were sitting on her bed, and I moved over a bit to put some distance between us.

Amanda gave me a look of irritation and frowned, "What's wrong?"

There was no nice way to say it, so I just blurted, "I just want to cool off."

"What do you mean...cool off, we haven't even gotten warm yet," she said angrily, her eyes narrowed and her face flushed.

"I know what you did to Denise," I said, curbing my own anger. Denise was a scholarship student who gained some popularity for not only being talented, but incredibly beautiful. Amanda started getting jealous and iced Denise out of social circles and made sure to make her life a living hell.

"What does that have to do with us?" she asked, confused.

"Look," I said taking a deep breath, "Just because Denise wasn't born with a fucking ribbon tied to a golden spoon doesn't mean you get to treat her like she isn't a human, I find that very unattractive."

Amanda stood up and glared down at me, "You didn't find it unattractive when I was sucking your dick," she said and paused. "You are just saying that because you slept with Courtney, right?"

"What," I asked, appalled, "that wasn't the point I was trying to make."

"See, you aren't denying it," she said, her hands balled into fists." I knew you still had the hots for her, always showing up at her events, following her wherever she went like some sick puppy... and that slut just had to have you." Her voice could probably be heard down the block it was so loud.

"This has nothing to do with Courtney," I said each word slowly as to not say something I didn't mean, "this is between you and I...it's just not working Amanda, I don't love you."

A look of hurt crossed her face as she sucked in a deep breath. "Get the fuck out," she said in a low voice. When I didn't move she started pounding my chest," Get the fuck out, get the fuck out, get the fuck out!"

Standing up quickly, I left the room feeling a weight lift off my shoulders.

*****

That weight returned two days later when rumors started to spread that I slept with Courtney and that she was some kind of homewrecker. The students started to turn on Courtney and her good name was tarnished. It was just like out of some kind of dated teen-flick from the mid-'90s. When asked if it was true, I denied the allegations, but anything I had to say wasn't taken seriously. I tried talking to Amanda to clear up the rumors but she refused to talk to me.

I felt a bit guilty because it was true that while dating Amanda, I still looked for Candice at Courtney events. She was still beautiful as ever and my heart warmed whenever she was near. I stopped jerking off to her, but it didn't stop me from dreaming about her from time to time, blowing my load in the mornings.

I knew that it was wrong, but I justified it by being attentive toward Amanda, taking her out on dates, buying her presents, and giving her the attention I felt was appropriate as a boyfriend, but she must have known my heart wasn't completely into it. Her nasty behavior was just an excuse to break it off with her, but a damn good one in my opinion.

I tried apologizing to Courtney, and surprisingly she was not upset about the whole ordeal. "I know that you don't like me and would never spread those rumors," she said.

"How do you know that?"

She shrugged, "Let's not talk about it, there are more important things to worry about in life," she said cryptically.

****

Summer vacation went by in a blur and I put Amanda far from my mind as I focused on channeling my pint up energy into my artwork. The only thing I could create was sketches of Candice as corny as it seems. I couldn't see her during the summer, yet she was at the forefront of my mind. I sketched her from memory; laying down on a grassy-field, reading a book, eyes closed with her head pointed toward the sun, running in a sack-potato race.

I knew what I was doing was creepy as hell, but I could not control myself. I thought that by dating, I would stop thinking about her so damn much but I was wrong. It took everything out of me not to stalk her social media.

What are you doing Jack,

I thought to myself, putting down my pencil.

******

My senior year started off uneventful, and the rumors that Amanda spread died down, replaced by some other school scandal. Surprisingly, it was about Amanda herself, who returned back to school with long hair and a baby bump. Everyone was shocked to learn that the baby father was none other than our very own P.E. teacher who was promptly fired, but not charged with any crime, because Amanda was at the age of consent when they started dating. Apparently she wasted no time hooking up with someone else after me, and I wondered if she was seeing him while we were together.

I was still working with Courtney on the student's council and she was elected president this school year. I noticed changes in her normally bubbly personality and I felt a twinge of concern for her well being. Her once neat appearance was replaced with a more disheveled look, her smile was forced and every day seemed like she was going through the motions. She dropped out of the Drama club, but still attended her cheerleading and volleyball events. Candice started not to show up to her activities as well. This made me very concerned and so I asked Courtney if there was anything wrong.

"Life," she sighed looking at me with tear-filled eyes, while we stuffed school supplies in tote bags, which would be given as a charitable donation to inner-city youth.

"What do you mean," I pressed softly, feeling like there was something deeply wrong.

She shrugged, "It's hard," her shoulders shook," and it's not fair."

"Whoa, whoa whoa," I said as tears flowed freely from her eyes. I scooted close to her and awkwardly patted her back," tell me what's wrong?"

She started hyperventilating and I couldn't hear her correctly when she said, "It's cancer...and mom...terminal... no time ."

I felt the room spin and I was fortunate to be sitting. Heart pounding I felt my own breath leave my body.

"When," I cleared my throat, "when did all this happen?" My voice sounded far away as I started imagining the worst.

"Right before summer vacation," she cried," it was so sudden, there wasn't any time to fight it."

"Stop," I heard myself say forcefully, "just stop."

I didn't notice Courtney calming down to look at me with shock.

She's fucking dying,

I thought, gripping the edge of the table. I felt like I was being punched over and over and couldn't defend myself. I heard a high-pitched ringing in my ear and time seemed to go by slowly.

Blinking fast I whispered; "How long?"

"What?"

"How long does she have left," I asked a bit louder.

"She?"

Courtney gave me a long hard look, "It's my father that's dying, I didn't think you knew him."

Relief flooded me and it was difficult for me to hide it, and I felt guilty even feeling the way I did.

"Courtney, look, I am sorry... when you said someone was dying of cancer it brought back some unwanted memories," I lied. "I am so sorry to hear about what is happening to your father, I have no words."

Maybe it was because of her grief, Courtney overlooked my unnatural response and went back to stuffing tote bags.

***

Danny Miller was well-known and highly respected in the community so it didn't take long for his death to circulate.

"Oh my God," screamed Lily, while I was in my bathroom shaving. I dropped my razor and ran into the dining room where she was staring down at her phone in silence. It looked as if she was about to cry, which was a surprise to me because I never saw her shed a tear a day in her life.

"What's going on," I asked as I entered the room.

"It's Dan-Dan," she wailed. "How can a doctor die of cancer, I just saw him a couple of months ago."

It dawned on me, Courtney's father passed away.

It must be very hard for them right now,

I thought about rubbing my chin and getting aftershave on my hands.

"We're going," Lily said.

"Going where," I asked.

"To the funeral, you will take me, don't tell your grandfather," she said

"I don't think that's a good idea, we don't really know the family all that well," I said, although I felt the urge to attend, if not to see Candice, to be a support for Courtney.

"Here's something you don't know," Lily said, a crazed look in her eye. "Danny was supposed to marry me, not that bitch, Candice, I was his first love, she stole him away from me."

I frowned at the mention of Candice and became instantly defensive, but I kept my mouth shut.

"Alright, we will go," I said tersely, turning on my heel before I said something I would regret.

******

The service was held in a large church with seats on two levels. We were seated at the top floor, which Lily complained about.

It looks like the entire town is here,

I thought with amazement. My head snapped up when Candice approached the podium; she was wearing traditional black, but draped around her neck was a stethoscope. Even from a distance, I could see how heartbroken she was, but she stood up and proudly recapped the type of person her husband was, touching the stethoscope with extra care. My heart started to ache when I saw tears run down her cheeks. I wanted to be the one to console her, assuring her that with time everything will be okay, but I knew that I was wrong for even having those thoughts.

*****

The rest of the school year went by in a blur. Courtney still attended her activities, but Candice stopped making an appearance. When I questioned Courtney about how her family was holding up, she stated;

"Everyone handles grief differently. For me that's work, for others it may be just sleeping through it."

I was concerned about Candice but I didn't have much time to focus on anything else, because I was studying for the college entrance exams. I made up my mind that I would be going into social service and not the family business as my grandfather wanted.

My grandfather was a traditionalist and wanted me to start working my way through the ranks of the company in order to gain experience; he was preparing to keep the business in the family after his retirement by nominating me as CEO, but that just wasn't something I was interested in. Being able to make a difference in lives was becoming a passion of mine and I wanted to be true to my own desires.

I knew the Holbrooks name alone could get me into any university of my choosing, but I didn't like relying on the name as I felt collecting my own merits would be more beneficial. I also wanted to attend a college that was several states over, because my grandfather was a major contributor to the local universities and I didn't want to gain preferential treatment by attending one.

Two weeks after taking the entrance exams, I got confirmation that I scored fairly well on my test and I was accepted to an out-of-state private college for the fall semester. Lily did not take this very well.

"What do you mean you are leaving out of state," she said, sitting on a sun-lounger by our Olympic size pool.

"I was accepted into the college of my own choosing and I won't be interning at the family company," I said, not really caring about her opinion.

"Your grandfather is going to be very disappointed," she said," do you think that he will fund your little rebellion?"

"He doesn't have to," I said matter-factly, "I earned a full-ride scholarship, something you would know about if you'd bother to care an inch about my school life."

Lily rolled her eyes," Stop with the dramatics"

When I was younger this conversation would have hurt, but I had grown passive toward Lily's lack of involvement in my life. I didn't even know why I bother to tell her I was leaving, I guess there was still some part of me which hoped that she cared a bit about my desires, instead of her own.

Giving her one last hard stare, I returned to my room to prepare for graduation.

****

It was not surprising that Courtney was named valedictorian, but it was a surprise to me that I was the graduating class's salutatorian. I knew that I made great efforts to be at the top of the class, but I really didn't pay attention to class-ranking or anything that would require me to deliver a speech. I was not the type of guy that liked standing in front of a crowd, nor was I the best at public speaking, but I thought this would be the only chance I will get to say what's been on my mind since I met Candice, and I was sure she would be in attendance.

I wonder how she is feeling,

I thought,

She's such a strong woman, she will pull through.

*****

On the day of graduation, I felt the nerves flutter in my stomach. It was a hot summer day and the ceremony was taking place at the school's football field. The bleachers were packed with friends and family members and the graduation class sat on chairs that were placed on the field. After several boring speeches, I was called to the stage to give my own.

I normally wouldn't get nervous in front of crowds but I really felt like I had something I wanted to say and I wanted that person to really listen. Wiping my palms on my robe, I looked out into the sea of faces, searching for just the one but couldn't find it.

"So we've made it," I begun, "something so precious and memorable has come to an end and although it's scary and sometimes sad, it could also be exciting to start this new adventure."

I cleared my throat, feeling expectant eyes on me, just waiting for me to say something compelling.

"As we step forward in our new journey, let us not forget what keeps us pushing toward what makes us great. Life changes, we have no clue when, how or even why... but it changes; sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worst, but remember that if we give up, we will never see greatness. We will never get to experience something new and exciting, we will never get to challenge ourselves to reach our true potential. Some of us have experienced several trials and losses during our time here, but let us not forget that we still have meaning, we still can make a difference and we can still recover from those challenges. We've made it, let us continue to make it thank you."

The audience started clapping loudly and I could see some of my classmates smiling, some with tears in their eyes. I didn't see the face I wanted to see.

After the ceremony, the students' guests all met on the field and started hugging and taking pictures. I did not even bother to tell Lily about the graduation and my grandfather was on another one of his business trips, not that he would have attended anyway. I started to leave but spotted Candice making her way toward Courtney with a bouquet of flowers in her hands. I felt the breath leave my body because she looked absolutely breathtaking. Her hair was in her usual messy ponytail, she wore a knee-length, spaghetti-strapped, flower-patterned dress, with open toed-sandals which showed a set of gorgeously painted nails.

My eyes followed her as she embraced Courtney in a long hug. My feet had a mind of their own as I found myself walking over to the pair.

"Nice speech Courtney," I said loudly, watching them end their hug and turned their eyes toward me.

"You too Jack," Courtney said smiling at me curiously, "where's your family?"

I shrugged. "They couldn't make it."

I watched as Candice and Courtney shared a quick look.

"Well that's too bad," said Candice, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "Your speech was very heartfelt and something that touched me personally, I wish you good luck on your future endeavors."

She was smiling at me, but it was without her usual brightness. I could see that she was still impacted by her husband's death and I wanted to reach out and hug her. I felt very protective of her but I knew that it would be weird if I showed it.

"Thank you, Mrs. Miller," I said awkwardly. "Courtney, I just wanted to come over and say that I enjoyed working with you on the council, let's try to keep in touch."

"Of course," she said.

While walking away I could hear Candice, "Who's that, your boyfriend?"

I heard Courtney giggle. "No, Mom, that's Jackson Holbrooks, you know the Holbrooks right?"

I did not hear her response as I exited the field to begin the next chapter of my life.

******

The first couple of months of my entry into college life were uneventful. Classes were a bit more complex than high school, but the general idea was pretty much the same; attend class, study, do homework, and turn in research papers. In addition to taking on a full course load, I signed up through the volunteer program to organize afterschool events for local middle-schoolers. The work was really rewarding for me and I enjoyed coming up with new ideas to keep the kids entertained while learning about college.

The program kept me away from my dorm room, where I shared the space with the wildest roommate on campus. When I arrived he was already breaking the rules by smoking pot out of a bong, stinking up the whole room. I politely requested him to stop and he gave me a blank-eyed stare as if I was not even there.

"Sure thing man," he said while letting off a low chuckle," square."

"What was that," I asked surprised.

"I said no probs."

After that exchange, he continued breaking the rules; smoking pot, sleeping with multiple girls in the dorm, and playing loud music late at night. I didn't want to snitch, but even if I wanted to, it turned out that my roommate was extremely popular, with well off parents that donated to the school's treasury and pretty much paid for his entry into the college He basically had a free pass to do whatever he liked. The RA pretty much let him get away with anything and there was nothing I could do about it except throw my own name around, which I didn't, so I just let things be.

On one occasion upon entering my room, I spotted a girl laying on my bed, scantily dressed in a tight leather skirt and a tank top that barely covered her stomach. She had several tattoos covering her arms and legs. As I walked closer to my bed I could see multiple piercings in her ears and she had a nose ring situated in her left nostril. Her eyes were closed and her chest looked as if it wasn't moving.

I shook her shoulders, "Excuse me."

When I didn't get any response, I felt a bead of sweat run down my forehead.

"Hey," I yelled, leaning my head toward her face and grabbing her wrist to feel for a pulse.

*A dead girl in my bed,* I thought, *please, please, please be alive.* I was thinking about all the implications that could bounce back on me.

I wasn't sure if I felt a pulse or could see her chest moving, so in a panic, I tilted her head back and tried recalling everything I learned about CPR. I gripped her jaw open and placed my lips around hers and before I could forcibly blow in air, I felt hands against my chest pushing me away. I stumbled back a few steps, catching myself before I fell down on my behind.