Adultery of the Heart

Spoiler Alert

The narrator (James Earl) keeps his marriage vows. There is only one description of a sex act. Otherwise its all about the deep, loving thoughts that James Earl has.

ABOUT THE TITLE

Jimmy Carter the 39th President of the United States (and noted Christian) was asked if he had ever committed adultery. Perhaps he was too honest for his own good when he replied "I have committed adultery of the heart."

The words "adultery of the heart" referenced a Christian biblical text. This story has a Jimmy Carter-like theme. That is why I called it "Adultery Of The Heart". I have used both of President Carter's forenames for the main character's name.

THE STORY STARTS

My name is James Earl. In 2000 I met and married Tricia Higgins BA. I was 19 and she was 22. We were great for each other emotionally, erotically, financially and spiritually. I helped Tricia to build her own florist business. She taught me study techniques. This gave me confidence to go to University. Tricia was supportive of me while I studied.

I am now James Earl, BA Hons.

By 2010, Mrs Earl and I had settled down to that quiet satisfaction of 2 happily married people. We had reached a plateau, but it was a lovely plateau. The kind of plateau to which many aspire but never reach.

Tricia now had 3 profitable florist shops. I worked for a Marketing firm. I had been promoted twice and was now on a good salary.

We owned our own house. We enjoyed a good social life together. We kept no secrets from one another.

HEALTH CLUB

For instance, we both fancied people we met at the Bournemouth Health Club,

I knew that Tricia fancied Peter, our health club instructor, I suspect that most of the women in the Health Club fancied him. He was lean. His muscles had muscles. He was reputed to be well endowed.

Tricia knew that I fancied Fiona. She was old enough to be my mother. Tricia called it my Oedipus thing. Tricia knew it wouldn't lead to anything.

As they said in the film Cabaret "who can control the ways of the heart?".

CANCER

In 2014 Tricia kept on getting sick. She lost her "joie de vivre". In June 2015 she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

The oncologist said "Make the best use of this year. After that things will get really difficult. Tricia will probably not live to see Christmas 2017."

That was only 2 and a half years away. We both cried.

We reacted in different ways to the tragic news. I got philosophical while Tricia got practical. She knew that she must make decisions over her florist business. She decided to sell it and use the money to live life to the full.

She got £23,000, after paying generous bonus payments to her 2 staff members. I still had my job.

MY CONNECTION WITH FIONA

One Saturday in Dec 2016, in the run up to Christmas, I saw Fiona in the city centre. She wore a Christmas jumper, which accentuated her large breasts. I am a bosom man.

She had been drinking and was already tipsy. I only knew her from the health club. I was surprised that she had been drinking so early in the day.

She invited me for a lunchtime drink. I wasn't going to refuse an opportunity to oggle her tits. We went into the local hostelry. The pub was surprisingly empty.

This was due to our local football team, Bournemouth were playing Chelsea at 3 pm. Lots of men would be drinking in a pub nearer to the Vitality Stadium. The 'Queen,'s Head" only allows home supporters on match days.

There was a group wearing the blue Chelsea regalia.

Fiona said "Those football tops cost £70. They have a home strip, an Away top and a third top. I guess the tops only cost £10 to make. If I am right then those fans are being ripped off."

Fiona complained about everything.

The Chelsea fans were discussing how badly their team were doing, despite spending £millions on players.

Fiona continued "It is strange, the attachment that men have to their team. These men would have paid £50 for a seat and expected to see their team play badly or even lose."

Luckily we weren't overheard by the Chelsea fans.

Fiona said "I think it is obscene that the players get £20,000 a week."

I said "I wouldn't say that to those fans. But I agree with you."

The Chelsea fans left to go to the match.

FIONA'S FORMER MARRIAGE

Fiona said "I don't usually drink, but the Christmas season is a really difficult time for me."

I said "You are not alone. More people commit suicide at this time of year than any other."

Fiona said "Don't worry I'm not suicidal. It was this time of year when my marriage broke up."

Fiona still wore a wedding ring. I had assumed she was married.

She told me "I met Kamal in September 1990. I fell in love with him easily and fully. Our courtship had been a dizzying ride of romantic outings and intense conversation. His lovemaking was mind-blowing."

I'd finally found a man who was sweet, intelligent and was a damned good lay. I was hooked.

After a year of wooing, Kamal proposed to me and I accepted. It was perfect. I loved him and he loved me.

Then I found out that Kamal had a lot more love to go around. He cheated on me and I found out. He

My friends urged me to leave him. Kamal cried and begged me to forgive him. Like a fool I did."

Fiona was near to tears. She finished her drink. I still had half of mine left. I tried not to stare at her chest.

Fiona continued "Kamal then cheated for the second time. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I had to tell Kamal that I wanted a divorce. He made the divorce really difficult."

I sympathised.

Fiona said "I have never found a man even half as good as Kamal. I still don't know whether I did the right thing."

I said "From what you said I think Kamal would have seen other women. But I see how difficult it must have been."

I finished my drink. I got us another round.

SHARING

Fiona said "Thanks for listening. But enough of my woes, how are things going with you and your lovely wife?"

I said "Tricia isn't at all well. She isn't expected to live much longer. She's bearing up considering the terminal prognosis. But, sometimes I lie awake and want to cry."

Fiona said "I know how you feel. I did that when I had to make the fateful decision to end my marriage."

I replied "I suppose I am grieving in advance, just like you were back then."

Fiona said "I am still grieving."

I said "If I can give you some friendly advice, don't use the bottle. You might be grieving now, but in the morning you will still be grieving but with a hangover"

She didn't reply. But she didn't tell me to "mind my own business" either. She had accepted my friendly advice.

I had made a connection with Fiona. It wasn't now mere lust that I felt for her.

We had shared our griefs. We had a bond. We had a sense of loss in common. We had each other for emotional, philosophical, spiritual and emotional support.

The only problem was that Tricia should have been the only one who gave me this level of support.

I felt conflicted. I liked being with Fiona as much as I did with my own wife. Being with Fiona while Tricia was on her way to the next world felt wrong.

It might have been the beer, but I wanted to kiss Fiona. But I resisted the temptation. I also felt that Fiona was resisting the temptation.

Of course, I had no way of knowing what Fiona was thinking.

TELLING TRICIA

I got back to our house later than I had expected and was slightly tipsy. I am not used to having 2 pints and no food to soak up the alcohol.

Tricia was annoyed at me. She had prepared a meal for us to eat together. Tricia likes people to be on time, especially if she has prepared a meal. I was in the dog-house.

I apologised. Over the meal, I told her about the chance meeting with Fiona. I told my wife all about Fiona's marriage breakup and her trying to find relief in a bottle.

However I hid the part where I told Fiona about Tricia's cancer. I certainly didn't want to reveal that I had made a connection with Fiona.

FURTHER MEETINGS WITH FIONA

Tricia stopped going to the health club. Sometimes Fiona and I would see each other in the sauna. If we were alone we would chat. I unloaded my feelings about Tricia's imminent demise. Fiona listened and was sympathetic.

I looked forward to these meetings. And it wasn't just because her tits looked great in a swimsuit.

TRICIA GETS WEAKER

As New Year 2017 dawned, Tricia was getting weak. We had walks along the Bournemouth promenade. Now Tricia made greater use of the public seating each day.

By March a walk which used to take us 30 minutes took 90 minutes. This excluded the time taken to sit and rest and watch healthy people walk from Boscombe pier to Bournemouth pier.

In April, Tricia had to take a taxi back from the Boscombe pier. That is only 500 metres from the top of Boscombe Chime gardens.

I nearly cried when she had great difficulty getting out of the taxi. The taxi driver had to help her.

After the taxi incident, we just went to the top of Boscombe Chine Gardens. It gave Tricia a sense of achievement just to get there. The top of the Chine gardens has lots of flowers, which they change twice a year.

We sat there and watched people playing table tennis and basketball and using the mini golf. We had tea and cakes from the Community Cafe.

Tricia made good use of the loos.

But it was noticeable how quickly Tricia was deteriorating. I realised that my wife had no alternative but to go into palliative care.

In one sense it was good that Tricia went into the nursing home. She had lost control of her bladder and soiled our bed. She cried and apologised. I was sympathetic. It was as distressing for me as it was for my wife.

I had to strip our bed and wash everything. Luckily it was a sunny, windy day and we have a washing line. Everything dried by nightfall.

I used a spray on the mattress itself, which wasn't too badly stained. I had to buy a waterproof mattress protector and 2 new fitted sheets.

A SECRET SELF-PLEASURING.

I am not proud of what I then did.

Sex had been off the menu since the New year. But I was still randy. I lusted after Fiona.

I had helped my wife get into the bath. She was taking ages to have her bath. I would have to help her get out when she was finished.

I lay on top of our bed and thought of Fiona undressing and showing me her tits. I thought of sucking on her nipples. My cock was now erect, I masturbated with increasing vigour, thinking of Fiona's fine tits.

When I orgasm I make a loud grunting sounds. The nearer I was to my orgasm the faster I pulled my penis. I breathed faster. I became fixated on Fiona's tits swinging as I imaginarily fucked her from behind.

I was insatiable as I held the imaginary Fiona's hips and thrust causing her tits to sway back and forth.

My cock pointed towards the ceiling. So my cum shot heavenwards. My cum shot out in 2 strong spurts and a third weak one.

I lay there satiated. I felt the cum from my third orgasm flow down my penis shaft onto my ball sac and onto my pubic hair.

I used a sock to wipe away my orgasmic fluid. I opened the window to mask the cum smell.

SEEING FIONA

In July, Tricia was now finally esconced in the palliative care home. I visited her as often as possible.

At one of our sauna meetings, Fiona asked "How are you feeling?"

I replied "I get lonely. I take long walks through the Biscombe Chime gardens. I play the tubular bells on Boscombe Pier. They are arranged to play "O I do like to be beside the seaside, O I do like to be beside the sea".

That used to amuse Tricia.

I walk past the Bournemouth pier and stop at the Tropical Gardens."

Fiona said "If you want company, I am available."

Fiona and I would walk to the Lower Gardens. We would chat and listen to the 2 talented singers who regularly perform there.

Once Fiona asked "Doesn't it feel strange being so close to an older woman?'

I replied "I don't mind the age difference. Do you mind me being your toyboy?"

I froze. I had used the wrong word. A toyboy is someone who an older woman has as a lover.

Fiona said "You aren't my toyboy. We are just very close friends."

I was relieved that Fiona hadn't overreacted. I was pleased that she saw us as VERY close friends. So what if Fiona was plump and has a few wrinkles.

Fiona's large breasts had headed south, but they still mesmerised me.

Fiona still look stunning in a one piece swimsuit. She looked sexier than all the other women in the Bournemouth Health Club.