Adrift in the Maybe Sea

You know it’s funny, sometimes you have a premonition about things to come; like I know for sure that I will never see Karen again, the former love of my life. I just know it, don’t ask me how. And sometimes everything is a big maybe, a time when uncertainty rules and all you can do to console yourself is say, “what will be, will be.”

I knew exactly what I wanted and needed. I was looking for my perfect match, my psycho-sexual twin, someone to blaze steamy trails of sexual passion with. I was looking for someone to talk to, someone to partner with, someone to laugh at life with, no matter what the situation, I was looking for someone to drink a margherita on the rocks with; someone who’d playfully pull my pants down and give me a blowjob with the ice cubes still in her mouth. I was looking for a look. A passionate, soul-searching, heart-searing, check out my soul forever if you dare I’ll blow you away look. I was looking for someone I could make Love to so deeply and so often that it would be as if our flesh had split and become one, and when my hard cock entered her pussy it would grab me in a clench that would be so tight that it would be unforgettable and unending, an eternal fuck. The time we would spend apart would be spent doing whatever it took until we could have each other again.

The ocean waves were crashing relentlessly against the shore, and the summer sun was beating down warmly on my body, especially my cock. I looked over at Melissa lying face down on the blanket; I fixated on her shapely naked ass, and my cock stiffened once more. I thought it would be much fun to climb on top of her and fuck her good right here and now on the beach. We were alone in Caribbean paradise. Not a soul in sight and only the sound of the ocean to drown out our orgasmic cries. We had been getting our fill of sex over the last several days; but it still wasn’t enough. Was this Love? Maybe, maybe it was.

I got up off my canvas chair and grabbed the suntan oil, spf 4, Melissa was deeply tanned and wanted to be really bronzed after a day in the sun, and I must say she was succeeding as I took in her gorgeous buns and back, richly tanned and so fuckable. I drizzled the suntan oil over her ass, and let a trickle slide into her ass crack and then further down. I watched with delight as she squirmed and wiggled her ass as the liquid tickled her crotch. Her ass glistened in the sun and the dark shadowy recess beckoned to me, a recess that had just been waxed I thought with anticipation!

“What do you think you’re doing?” She asked, not bothering to look up.

“I just didn’t want you to fry that magnificent ass of yours. Besides, I’ve got another hard on. “

“Again?” She reached back between my legs and felt the bulge building there in my shorts. I didn’t want to burn.

“Kneel in front of me and jerk off for me, use the oil.” She commanded.

“Yes my Scorpion Queen.” Melissa was a Scorpion, and true to her sign, she was the sexiest bitch I’d ever met. I ripped off my shorts and began to coat my circumcised cock with the oil, using long slow strokes for my queen. My cock gleamed wetly in the sun, as did the rest of my muscular body which was also covered with oil. The head of my dick was pointed right at her face; she licked her lips invitingly.

“God, look at you,” she said. “You have the body of a 25 year-old man. Let me suck that dick for awhile.”

I moved closer and placed my cock before her mouth. Her red lips were covered with lip balm, and I was thinking what a great commercial this would be for that product and then she took the head in her mouth and all thinking ceased. She blew down on my mushroom head and dragged her lips on the under head as she came back up. She swirled her tongue around the head and then corkscrewed her mouth down my shaft, at least that’s the way it felt, and went almost to the base this way. I arched my hips and back to go deeper into her mouth. As usual she responded by lustily accepting all I had to give, all the way to the back of her throat. Was this Love, I wondered?

Love had always come to me in bits and spurts; and the one time it had come into my life with any permanence it had mysteriously disappeared, a victim of my old nemesis the Fear Genie. FG had haunted me all my life, for I think it is only fear that stands in the way of Love, and when two people have a real connection and somehow they don’t make it, look for the Fear Genie to be around the corner laughing at his work. After a few attempts to talk, and finally the dynamite of a marriage proposal, Karen had forbidden me to contact her again. I knew she wouldn’t have done that unless I had gotten in too deep, and the fear of letting me get any deeper was more than she could handle. So that door of Love had closed one final time, to me the saddest of all sad things.

I was divorced from the mother of my two children, a woman I had never come close to loving like I had Karen, mostly I had felt sorry for her and the many tragedies of her life and she was young and pretty, and could suck the chrome off your bumper. Still, in the end I had 2 great kids, Mike was 17 and Lisa 13, both were independent and resilient, I was proud of them and loved them very much. The question I asked myself every day was this; what was next for me, would I ever find Love again?

I finally pulled away from Melissa and wanted more than just a release, made her roll over. I ate her pussy delicately, with all the craft I had learned and with the sheer appreciation for the beauty of the woman spread before me. I efficiently licked her labia, and then teased her clit, tasting of her juices and smelling the fragrance of her that one can only get from the intimacy of making oral love to a woman. God, I loved this; was this Love? I licked under the hood of her clit and she reacted with a jump. I put my index finger inside the mouth of her vagina and felt her accept it and want more. I let my pinkie finger tickle her ass, and feeling it moist from the lotion, sweat and her flowing juices, managed to wiggle it into her butt, something I knew she loved although she never asked for. I tasted her and licked faster, wanting to get her going really good, and then I would do something to her that I suspect she liked; and something I needed, and that something was getting her to the point where she would unabashedly beg me to fuck her. There is truly something special about having a beautiful woman call your name in her throes of orgasm while you are going down on her, and then in the next breath begging you to “fuck her,” and I would usually make her say “please.’ When Melissa did this for me, it was as if all of life was good, and could not possibly get any better. As I teased her clit and tongued her nearly to coming, I heard her say the magic words, the three little words I needed to hear; “please fuck me!’ I buzzed her a little longer and then stopped and got up and sat in my canvas chair. I motioned for her to come sit on my cock, her favorite position by the way. My Scorpion Queen straddled her bright blue-eyed Gemini and rode the wave of my hard cock.

“Oh, Michael I love the way your hard cock fills my pussy, don’t ever take it away from me!” She said, and closed her eyes as she power surged on my cock into the first of several mighty orgasms she would have.

“Oh God, I’m coming! Oh Fuck, I love you, I love fucking you, please fuck me harder, don’t stop! Uhhhhhhhhhh! And then she came again, moaning loudly for no one but me.

There was that word again, Love. She had never said that to me before, or I to her. She had said the magic words to me; did they have any meaning? After all, she was orgasmic at the time. Love, it was the trickiest and most mysterious of all words and concepts, it could mean so much, or so little. It could come in an orgasm and depart in a disagreement over decision making styles. Nothing could be more glorious than the finding of a new love, just as nothing was sadder than the closing of Love’s door that final time. After my last true Love was lost, my mission in life was a simple one; to find that kind of Love again. Only this time I aimed to keep it, so what I needed to find was a keeper.

As Melissa’s coming began to subside mine started. As my cock thrusting accelerated and she could no doubt feel me swelling, she started to come again, this time in concert with me, one of my most favorite things in the whole world.

I growled like a grizzly bear and she moaned and whimpered like a sexy feline as she felt me explode powerfully within her. I could feel her clench me tighter as her love muscles long unused flexed themselves powerfully on my cock. The sensation of being so wanted flooded my senses, this wasn’t just sex, I thought, what was it? Was it maybe Love, or the start of Love?

After we finished we went to the big blue ocean to cool off, we splashed around naked and then we kissed like life-long lovers do, without fear or hurry, but not without passion. I could not get enough of her, it was that simple. She wanted to be loved; and I in fact was a Love store. No matter what happens I’ll never forget that moment for as long as I live. You see I freeze-frame the moments of my life in my mind, and I’ll always remember her that way; her dark hair wet and her body shiny with the oil and her full breasts so womanly in contrast to my concrete chest. I thought God might’ve been very pleased with himself and his work; to me surely there is nothing more beautiful in the whole world than two people sharing Love and even though she was married it did not seem wrong or tarnished. Love is God’s greatest gift I thought; it would be a shame to waste it.

We didn’t talk about what she said in the throes of that orgasm in paradise, those three little words that meant so much, or so little. I wanted badly to ask her about it, but decided not to. We held each other, stroking and caressing, not saying much, gathering strength for the next time I think. Each of us was probably thinking the same question; where was this going? She was no doubt thinking of her children and the effect on them if she divorced, not to mention the myriad of other uncertainties. And I was thinking; was she for real? Would she have the strength to believe in herself and follow her heart? Was she the twin I was seeking? The twin I had been searching for my entire life? Like I said, so much there, but so much of it maybes.

If Love is a dream, or at least dreamlike, illness and death are the harshest of realities, dreamlike only as nightmares that we try and avoid. One day we were talking on the telephone and Melissa got a call from her Doctor. She had a pap smear and the results were not good. I consoled her, having been through cancer myself and having beaten it without any drugs or chemotherapy, I told her I knew the formula to win this fight, you needed to accept that this happened for a reason, perhaps a wake-up call, and that you could die. And then, having made your peace with that, you needed to decide what you wanted to live for-and that purpose; if it was high enough and good enough, would carry you on no matter what. You needed something to live for, not something to keep you from dying.

I told her I had chosen to live for Love. Everything I did was for Love, and always would be. Love is all you need. All I did spoke of this promise, and I was thriving in my life because I had shared this gift with so many. I told Melissa we would beat this together, no matter what I would be there for her, and if necessary I would drag her kicking and screaming through this to the other side. Break on through to the other side, Jim Morrison said, and that is so true, to where you love life so much and fear death so little.

I knew that this was one more sign of our destiny together, this cancer connection. No one can understand what’s to be gained until they comprehend what can be lost. My heart was full of Love and I wanted to share it with Melissa. We would look together into the black abyss of death and we would laugh at it and choose life, and Love. That’s what I hoped for with all my heart.

I’m back in the big blue sea kissing my Melissa and feeling the simultaneous pleasure of the warm buoyant ocean and the golden glow of the sun against our bodies. Was this Love? Would we ever be together? Would we marry eventually and live happily ever after?

We kiss in the ocean, like eternal lovers that can’t be kept apart, no matter the current.

We drift so slightly apart, still touching, and we float there, adrift in the maybe sea.

To be continued…