Author's Note
Hey everyone, obviously it's been a while (understatement) since I added to this story. There's a couple reasons for that. Chiefly, for a long time I was frankly baffled at where to take these characters next, and it seemed better to let this sit a while than to force something onto it I didn't like or feel right about.
But there was a reason for that too. This story and these characters have prompted a journey of self-discovery for me that's been going on for a few years, and back when I wrote the first part of this I frankly did not have the language or understanding to write this chapter. In case it's not obvious from what you've read so far, Greg and Katherine are each imbued with significant aspects of my own personality that have been in conflict and conversation over the years, usually subconsciously.
I don't want to overshare and psycho-analyze myself too much here, but the interesting thing is that when I wrote the first part of this I consciously identified more with Greg, but as the years have passed I've come to understand that Katherine/Amy embody some things that are more authentic to myself that I've had a hard time accepting and embracing. Which is to say, I regret voicing all of this from Greg's perspective at this point, and it feels odd to put myself in that headspace again, but I can't change that now and actually I think it works pretty well for where I'm going with this.
Anyways, thanks for coming back, I have a vision for where this is going, and I'm excited to finish the work. I hope you enjoy it.
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When I awoke the next morning, the sense of unreality lingering from half-remembered dreams only seemed to deepen as my mind glided over the events of the previous day. The only thing that convinced me I hadn't hallucinated the entire thing was the soft warmth of Katherine's body against me. It felt like she was still asleep behind me, her breathing was very slow and deep. It felt like another perfect moment, so I lay there awake letting my mind wander over the bizarre events of the last several days and weeks.
This moment was remarkably beautiful. Probably the rest of my life was bound to be downhill from here. A lifetime of loneliness and disappointment had taught me to expect more of the same, and so a big part of me expected this romance to end as suddenly as it began. But she was still here. Still breathing against me in bed. Probably when she woke up we would have sex again. Probably she would find a way to make it mind-blowing. It was stupid to worry about the end there was no reason to think it was coming. Yet.
But it still nagged at me, even over the blissful memories of the life changing sex we had in this room the last few days. I wanted to push it out of my mind, but my mind rebelled at the Pollyanna optimism of the desire. Finally, I heaved a frustrated sigh at myself, and I felt her stirring behind me, pulling her body closer to spoon me as she returned to the waking world.
My cock responded autonomically to her skin pressing into me back and she reached a hand over my hip and wrapped her fingers around my shaft. She began to stoke me very softly, wordlessly, occasionally reaching down to caress my balls for a few seconds before lightly gliding her fingers over the tip and foreskin.
I surrendered to her touch and to my body's reaction to her. I wasn't even thinking about it when I began to ejaculate into the sheets, and she let out a pleased hum into my neck. She licked her fingers clean of my cum and wrapped her arm around my waist, pulling me into her body and whispering into my neck, "I love you."
"I'm not sure love is a strong enough word for how I feel about you." I said hoarsely, my voice rasping on the sleep and the aftermath of being pleasured.
"That's just because I just jerked you off while I was half asleep because that was the first thought that popped into my head when I woke up," she answered lazily, still sounding something like half asleep.
I flipped around to face her a little too suddenly, startling her a little with the visceral reaction her words provoked. Her eyes widened and she looked suddenly quite awake.
I cupped her cheek in my palm before she could respond. "No, I--" I realized mid-sentence what I was contradicting and snapped my mouth shut for a moment to better collect my thoughts. "I mean, I do love you for that, but I don't just love you for that. For your sexuality, I mean, which is something I love very much. I mean..." I trailed off, not even sure what was about to come out of my mouth, but certain that it needed to come out anyway, "I mean I love you, the human being, more than love, more than anything. Before I met you, I didn't know people could be like this, like you, and now that I know you, I feel like maybe there is hope, maybe I can find a way to be happy in this world, and not just intertwined with you, as much as I love being intertwined with you, but because you have shown me that I am not alone, and that other people are sometimes just looking for an excuse to be kind to someone."
The look on her face was hard to read when I finished. There was a lot going on inside her and my heart froze with anxiety as I waited to find out what that was.
Her eyes dropped to my lips for a few seconds and I watched her think about kissing me. Her eyes fell further and off into the middle distance as she took a breath and said, "That's really beautiful, Greg. I... don't know exactly how to respond," her eyes shot back into mine, kinder and softer now, "Some of that sets off my monogamy alarm bells, but I don't think that's how you meant those words." The kindness had morphed into a bit of sadness as she finished, and the statement hung like a question in the space between them.
"No... what I meant was to tell you how important you are to me, Katherine," I said, that nagging anxiety bubbling to the surface and overwhelming my inclination not to ruin this moment. "But yeah, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about how this is going to end up."
