On Wednesday, Wynter decided to visit Janet's tearoom. She wanted to talk more about her mom and see the mural she painted. Her mom was a taboo subject within her family. Her dad never talked about her and when her maternal grandmother was still alive, sometimes Wynter's presence would make her dissolve into tears. Even after her grandmother died, no one talked about her mom. Her mom died at 37 only 4 months after her diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. Wynter was 12 when her mom passed away and understood it was hard for the family. While she had vivid memories of her mom when she was younger, she didn't remember the time before or immediately after her mom's death. A family therapist explained to her that a combination of grief and everything happening so fast was the reason she had gaps in her memory, but she didn't even remember her mom being sick. One day everything was fine, and the next she was just gone. She was hoping maybe Janet could fill in the gaps for her. Janet was the only person who spoke to her about her mom freely, and Wynter didn't want to burden her family anymore by bringing it up. When she called the nursery, Janet answered and Wynter asked if she could come by the tearoom to talk. Janet enthusiastically agreed.
Wynter drove to the nursery on the outskirts of town and made her way inside, lost. The outside signage said nothing about a tearoom, and she didn't see it right away when she walked in. She wandered around the front for a moment before an older male greeted her. When she asked for Janet, he pointed outside and told her behind the Christmas tree tent. She thanked him and made her way through the trees. She saw what resembled a shed at the end of a graveled trail. She opened the door to the tearoom and was immediately taken aback. The tearoom had greenery everywhere- potted trees, vines, and hanging plants that contrasted strikingly with the hardwood floors. 4-5 round tables with vintage Victorian chairs were set with lace linens and fine china. The light pink shelving around the room was filled with whimsical teapots, mugs, and saucers. Natural light beamed through a double glass door leading to a charming patio and garden. It was all stunning, but nothing could compare to the mural on the ceiling. It was as if Wynter was looking up while surrounded by cherry blossom trees. She took in the intricate details of the mural in awe: the delicate branches that stretched across the entire ceiling, the dainty petals in shades of pink and white, the tiny yellow stamen, and wispy white clouds floating in the clear blue sky. It was truly mesmerizing- she couldn't stop staring at it.
"Sorry about the wait-" A voice called to her, but it took Wynter a moment to pull herself out of the trance. She looked over to see Janet waiting for her to respond, patiently.
"I'm sorry. I promise you, I'm not always this-"
"Sentimental?" Janet guessed.
"Not the word I was going to use, but it works," Wynter replied.
"Go ahead and explore while I make some tea." Janet offered.
Wynter nodded and took a ton of pictures of the tearoom. She asked Janet if she had a website and was surprised to find Janet used the tearoom to entertain, not as a business. When Wynter asked why, Janet stated she enjoyed making her tea blends but wasn't a skilled enough baker or businesswoman to run a cafe. Wynter explained her Aunt Sophia, Valentina's mom, baked for the lodge resort and would enjoy baking for the tearoom. She also explained how her cousin Liberty was always looking for cute meeting spaces for the various clubs and meetings for town events, and if hosting was something Janet enjoyed, she could pass her name along.
"Nowadays, my husband hardly lets me answer the phone for the nursery. One minor fall and a little brain bleed and I'm an invalid." Janet joked, dryly.
Wynter smiled. "If you had your own business, your husband couldn't tell you when and how to work."
"My husband will come around, but I gotta figure out how to get my children off my back. My daughter Elizabeth goes back to school soon, and Elijah has his mechanic shop and family to keep him busy, but Jackson has nothing but time to bug me." Janet sighed, dramatically. Too dramatically. Wynter knew a setup when she heard it, but she entertained it.
"Well, Jackson doesn't stay in one place too long, does he?" Wynter mused.
"That's true, but I may not make it through the holidays if he doesn't get some business of his own. This tearoom is my only sanctuary." Janet replied as she pushed over a cart with a full-service tea set. "I'm so glad you called me. I envisioned this moment so many times."
"Really?" Wynter asked, baffled. "You thought about talking to me?"
"Yes. Your mom said your family would make her a saint after she died, but she made me promise to always give you the truth if you came to me." Janet fixed them both a cup of tea before sitting beside her.
"What did mama mean about the truth?" Wynter began.
"Oh, nothing tawdry. She wanted me to answer any questions you had to the best of my ability. She didn't want me to sugarcoat or shy away from anything." Janet elaborated.
"Ok, I don't even know where to begin." Wynter exhaled. "I guess, how did you meet her?"
Janet explained they met through her desire to turn the shed into her private tearoom. When Janet saw the interior design Wynter's mom did for the resort remodel, she enlisted her help. Her mom threw herself into the project and conceptualized the entire thing. Her mom was 23 at the time and was trying to keep herself busy while she waited for Wynter's dad to finish law school and move back to Lucky.
"Did you know my dad? Like, him and mama as a couple?" Wynter asked.
Janet hesitated. "Yes and no. I knew of him, but I never spent a significant amount of time with him. I only know what she told me."
"Was she in love with him?" Wynter asked, her curiosity taking over. On paper, her mom and dad made no sense. He was studious, grim, and firm while her mom was fun-loving and laidback. Wynter knew opposites attract, but she couldn't understand how her mom fell in love with a man like her dad, and vice-versa.
"In the beginning, yes. They had been together since middle school. She didn't know anyone else. He promised to love and take care of her and the grade school sweethearts thing was very romantic. They were both happy when they were blessed with you. I know it was hard- he was finishing law school, but he doted on her and he could do no wrong in her eyes." Janet shared.
"So from mama's point of view, what happened? I always heard they broke up because she didn't like living in the city." Wynter inquired.
"She didn't love Houston, but I believe she would have made it work if she was still in love with your father. She said she didn't like who the city turned him in to. Your father prioritized his job and career goals over everything. It got to a point where she felt like their values no longer aligned, so she left him. Came back to Lucky with you and moved on with her life." Wynter knew that to be true about her dad. His position as partner at his law firm and his image were the most important things to him. They spent more time portraying the perfect family than him actually being a father to her.
"Did she date or fall in love again?" Wynter asked.
"She dated a little; no one worth mentioning. You were the love of her life. You made her so happy, there wasn't room for anyone else. You two were inseparable. I would try to get her out for girls' nights, and she would bring you along." Janet smiled.
Wynter nodded, building up the courage to ask the question that always plagued her. "Did she hide being sick from everyone?"
Janet looked down, shaking her head sadly. "No, just from you. She made the family promise not to say anything to you. She didn't want to scare you or for you to see her like that. She wanted you to have nothing but happy memories of her. I couldn't, I didn't contradict her. Maybe I should have, but she was dying. I couldn't tell her she was wrong not to tell you."
"So she knew she was dying?" Wynter verified in a small voice.
"Yes, by the time they caught the cancer, there was little they could do." Janet cleared her throat before continuing. "The only thing she worried or thought about was you. She wrote letters; she sketched clothes and hair accessories for you. She knew you had no desire to learn how to sew, but she figured you could take the ones you liked to someone who did. She showed me what she designed for your wedding and let me read the speech for your wedding too. She made me promise if no one else read it, I was supposed to." Janet chuckled until she saw Wynter's confused face.
"What sketches? What letters?" Wynter probed. "My aunt held on to personal belongings for me, but no letters."
Janet looked concerned but tried to hide it. "Talk to your aunt. There are at least two notebooks and a sketchpad. I tried to talk Destiny into filming videos, but every time she tried, she would break down-" Janet's eyes filled with tears, causing Wynter's eyes to sting. "She couldn't do it and she didn't want you to see her crying. She loved you so much, Wynter. She wanted you to have the world and she hated thinking of you having a minute of pain because of her." Janet couldn't hold back the tears anymore and cried. Wynter kept it together and handed her a napkin.
Janet shook her head. "I'm ok." She sniffled. "You're the child. I should be comforting you."
Wynter didn't know what to say. She buried her feelings regarding her mom deeply a long time ago. She couldn't remember the last time she allowed herself to feel anything regarding her mom. She felt more anger than anything- and right now she was raging internally that her letters were kept from her.
"Talking about her to someone who knew and loved her is comforting. We don't talk about her much in my family." Wynter opened up.
"Those notebooks are a good place to start. She wrote in them all the time. Everything she wanted to say is in them." Janet advised her.
"I'll find them," Wynter swore. They finished their tea before Wynter said her goodbyes.
Janet gave her another long hug, and Wynter returned it this time. "Come to me for anything. Don't be a stranger, you hear me?"
"I won't," Wynter promised before leaving.
Wynter came home to Aunt Amira's house to find her getting ready to leave for the fair. Wynter decided to wait until the next day to confront her about the notebooks to not spoil the mood. The church was hosting its annual toy and food drive. The admission fee was either a toy or non-perishable food, and there were fair games, food, and Santa's Village for the kids. Liberty was volunteering with her dad, Grace was operating pony rides, and Valentina and her mother were operating a food stand, so Wynter was going to check it out alone. Liberty also told her there was a casual kid-free kickback in the woods near the lake afterward, so that was going to be her birthday week outing.
Wynter decided to take a long bath in her Aunt's jacuzzi tub to regroup after her day. A long soak, a glass of wine, and her favorite Beyonce tracks had her in better spirits and ready to take on the world. She did a full face of makeup and put loose curls in her wig. She picked a gray sparkly headband from her collection and chose a three-piece gray sweater set with matching leggings, a scoop neck tank top, and an open cardigan. Her favorite black moon boots with silver details completed the outfit. She grabbed her camera, toy, and jar of peanut butter and headed out the door.
Once she arrived at the church, she walked to the open field behind it, dropping off her donations at the front with Paula, the church receptionist. She walked around the field, impressed with the size of the fair. There were a couple of inflatables, including a gingerbread bounce house and snowman slide, multiple fair games, a cake walk, bingo, four tables forming a square serving as the food stand, and a carousel. She made her way to the food stand. She smelled turkey legs and was craving one. She waited in line on Valentina's side. When she reached the front, Valentina spoke before she could even order.
"How do you feel about tlatuda?" Val asked her.
"What is that?"
"A Mexican style pizza."
