A Widower's Story

"Dad, you will thank me for this," Dan McLennan reached across the dinner table and scooped up his father's cell phone and began installing an app. "You aren't using a new ghost account, are you?"

"Dan, I told you I'm happy, healthy, and don't need to 'Get back out there,'" said Ryan McLennan looking helplessly at his phone, knowing that attempting to snatch it back would be both useless and childish.

"After Laura graduated, you barely leave the house, it has been six years and I don't think you've been on a single date. Mom would want you to be happy you deserve a little companionship."

"Danny is right; you shouldn't just lock yourself up in this house. It isn't healthy," commented Dan's wife Rose without looking up from the diaper she was changing on the living room floor. Baby Aaron squawked something that sounded like "thee", his little arms and legs doing their very best to prevent his mother from changing his diaper without a messy souvenir.

"Listen the three of you. I am happy. I have a routine. Every day I get up, leave the house, go to the gym, stop at the market on my way home, eat breakfast, write for a few hours, watch a movie or an episode of a series, go for my run before dinner, which is sometimes at a restaurant, before closing out my day with a little time spent playing a video game, and twice a month my son and his family come to visit. I wouldn't mind if my daughter called or stopped by more often, but her life is spinning up." Ryan counted off the elements of his daily routine. He was happy and occupied. At fifty was in the best shape of his life. He had worked hard, invested better, and amassed a healthy nest egg that allowed him to retire from the rat race and spend his days pursuing his hobbies. "I don't need to start dating, and all of those dating apps are only for meaningless hook-ups. Don't you think it is a little weird to be throwing your father into a string of one-night stands?"

"Ew, Dad. No, they aren't all that bad."

"Actually, they are pretty much just for hooking up. But that wouldn't be a bad thing; your dry spell needs to end," said Rose.

"Babe, don't go there."

"Your father isn't dead, Honey. Besides, I know for a fact that there are women out there that would go out of their way for a night with him." Rose looked over her shoulder at her husband, smiling. "You remember the cookout last summer, the last one before Aaron was born? Well, when your dad was manning the grill, both Hailey and Allison couldn't take their eyes off him. Hailey even referred to him as the 'Hottest piece of meat' at the cookout."

"Dad, do you want a vote on your profile picture?" Dan held up the phone to his father. "I am thinking either the picture from Laura's graduation, you know the one where you were actually smiling or the one at the dinner where we told you Rose was expecting. Which one?"

"Neither, I don't need a profile. I don't need to go on dates. I am happy living my life." Ryan growled at his son.

"The dinner it is. Of course, I am biased because I took the picture." Dan tapped the screen. "You are all set up."

"You know I'm going to delete that as soon as you hand it back to me?" Ryan's grin showed all of his teeth.

"You won't," said Dan holding the phone and admiring his handy work.

"Give me one good reason why not?"

"I will give you two. This is because deep down, you know we are right." Dan held up a finger. "And because I paid for a three-month premium subscription, and you would hate to waste my money." Dan waved the second finger at his father.

"That was low, son," Ryan finally smiled; the boy knew him and which buttons to push. He was both proud and frustrated, which is how he had spent most of the years raising his son. "But that doesn't mean I have to actually have to go on any dates."

"True. But it might make me sad," Rose said using a baby voice, hiding her head behind a giggling Aaron. "And Pop-pop wouldn't want me to be sad."

"Argh, I said, Grandpa. I refuse to be a Pop-Pop. Makes me sound like an old man in plaid pants pulled up to his chest."

"Just promise if someone interesting shows a bit of interest that you will give her a chance," Dan handed the phone back to his father. Almost the second the phone touched his hand, it buzzed with a new notification. "Ha! I knew you'd be popular! Let's see what it says."

Ryan looked at the screen and read the notification, and smiled. "Apparently, I can save 10% on my car insurance if I switch carriers. If I apply in the next hour, I will get a free tablet computer." The three adults broke out into laughter while the baby giggled and waved his arms.

***

"No, no, no, not even a chance, no," Ryan was flipped through the Direct Messages that had accumulated in the dating app his son had installed. He had promised to entertain the idea of dating if, and only if, someone interesting appeared. Ryan would keep that promise, but so far, the suggested profiles or those women that DMed him were as far from interesting as one could get. Maybe he was being too picky. Maybe he was saying no because deep down inside, no one would come close to replacing his wife. His Maria was just over six years removed from his life but not from his heart.

Hey sexy man, I would love to show you what a real woman can do for you.

Ryan inspected the picture of what was supposed to be a forty-three-year-old woman, heavy makeup and a prominent Adam's Apple put the message in the block category.

Interested in taking care of a lonely housewife for a few hours?

Married equals 'No Way.'

Recently Divorced Mum of two looking for a real man, interested?

Why are they all so aggressive? There wasn't one. "Hey, would you like to get together for drinks and chat?" It was all thinly veiled invitations for sex. Granted, he had to admit that he wouldn't mind a roll in the hay. It had been a long time. He was still a living, breathing male. But it took more than an invitation. He wanted to be with someone that engaged more than just his cock. Maybe he was weird that way.

He was about to get on with his day when a new message arrived. He sighed and brought up the latest attempt at sex or at catfishing.

Do you work out at Universal Fitness 6 days a week?

Not the typical message, it gave off some real stalker vibes. Well, he wanted interesting; this was the most interesting message he had received so far. He brought up the profile. SocialButterfly28 - blonde, blue eyes, employed as a Social Media Marketing Contractor, likes were pretty vague listing out books, movies, music, and working out. Under Dislikes - "Anyone that contacts me first" that made Ryan laugh, she appeared to be dead set on being the pursuer rather than the pursued. No tattoos, social drinker, no drugs, no smoking, and did not list her measurements. He looked at her picture. It was shadowy with an artistic flair and hinted at her features more than revealed them. She didn't want anyone to really recognize her. Against his better judgment, he tapped out a reply.

My daily routine does, in fact, include a workout there on a frequent basis. Not sure if it is 6 days a week but that sounds right.

He knew it was spot on but decided to attempt to be clever and elusive. If she wanted to be in control, he wanted her to work for it. The reply came almost instantly.

I knew it! My bestie and I work out there all the time. She saw your profile, we couldn't believe it.

Ryan checked the profile again, under age, it listed 28. He was a little disappointed, she was way too young.

Glad to help solve your mystery.

He replied, expecting her to move on with her hunt.

It is so wild coming across someone you actually, kinda, know in the real world on this. Especially someone that you have admired from afar.

She must have the fastest fingers on the planet or had been typing out the message before he had replied. Then another message appeared.

I wouldn't have expected you to use an app like this. I mean, finding a date should be really easy for you.

My son installed the app and set up the profile. He and his wife decided that I needed to get back out there.

Honesty was always the best policy; he saw no reason to be cagey with his response.

Been single long?

A little more than 6 years.

Past time to get back on the horse. So, why haven't you asked me out yet?

Ryan sputtered when he read the last message. That was a little forward.

I'll let you in on a secret... I'll say yes.

Don't you think I am a little old for you?

Rose had said that with all the working out he had been doing that he did not look his fifty-five years. So he wanted to give SocialButterfly28 an easy way out because she clearly overlooked his age.

What!!??? Too old to have a cup of coffee and chat about the weather? Hell, I regularly have a glass of wine with my great aunt, who is nearly 90 and she is a bawdy old broad. Fine. I will make this easier for you. I would like to meet you in person for a cup of coffee. We can meet at Brewed Cups across the street from the gym, friendly and neutral. No worries that I will be a forty-year-old guy that will rob you and leave you naked in a closet.

Ryan laughed out loud when he read the message.

LOL... One problem, I don't drink coffee.

Don't be a smart ass and don't make me beg... or at least not yet.

She followed the statement with a smiley-face emoji with the tongue lolling out. Okay, Ryan thought, she is interesting; this should be enough to fulfill the promise to Dan. He would go for a drink, talk to the girl, and then that would be the end of this foolishness.

You've got a date. When would work for you?

He tapped out the reply.

I would LOVE to say today, like right now, but alas, I have a project to finish up. So, it will have to be tomorrow. Say noon, if that works for you?

Ryan agreed, it would throw off his routine a little, but it could be an interesting distraction.

***

Back in his late twenties, Ryan had fallen into bad habits that had carried into his middle years. His job was sedentary and required long hours that left him too tired to hit the gym. Food was whatever was fastest and closest, which, more often than not, was far from healthy. While he did not drink alcohol, he found stress relief in drinking sodas. Resulting in weight gain, a lot of it. He went from 170 lbs, when he was in college and super active, to 290 lbs. He had tried lots of fad diets and meal plans, nothing really worked. In his forties, when his son was in high school, before his wife's diagnosis, Ryan decided enough was enough, he made changes. The soda was out, he thought about his food more strategically, most importantly, he started exercising. It started with walks around the block, then light jogging, but his knees complained too much about the stress. That led him to Universal Fitness; it was close to the house and advertised those low judgment, no pressure atmospheres.

Ryan was able to go in, balance cardio and weight lifting for an hour or so and get out without having to speak a word to another human being. He loved it. He designed a six-day routine and stuck with it and the pounds melted off of him. It took a little more than a year to reach his goals, but he did it and kept up with the working out. Now it was less about losing weight or even preventing fat gain and more about burning through the stress that life brought him.

He told his kids he was happy, and he essentially was, but every morning when he woke up, there was the cold empty side of the bed greeting him. The sight always brought memories flooding back to him. Some happy and full of joy. Some were just heartbreaking. Life was filled with 'what if' moments; every morning, those moments haunted him. Going to the gym and sweating away the depression was what kept him going. It kept him happy and focused.

A side effect of all of that working out was that he didn't look his age or even close. True, he had a touch of gray in his goatee; there was also a shock of white in his light brown hair that had been with him since his teens, but on the whole, he could pass for a man in his thirties. The weather for the day claimed a hot summer day was in store for the area; even though he had a date and should make an effort to look his best, he couldn't bring himself to dressing up too much. He pulled out a favorite Hawaiian shirt, a blue design that was understated and more geometric than floral, and a pair of gray cargo shorts. He was dressing for comfort, not to impress, and looking in the mirror at how his chest defined the shape of the shirt, he decided that it would do; if SocialButterfly28 didn't like it, that would be fine with him too.

When Ryan walked into The Brewed Cup, he scanned the cafe looking for his date. It had occurred to him in the parking lot that she knew what he looked like; all he had to work with was an artistically shadowed picture and a vaguely female form and an implication that they go to the same gym. It struck him that he so rarely paid any attention to the other people in the gym that he would be surprised if he recognized anyone. He looked for a blond woman. He couldn't even say if she was in fit shape or not; just because someone goes to the gym doesn't mean they are fit. There are many phases to the fitness journey and experience. It would be stupid to make any assumptions at this point. He didn't see anyone that rang a bell or could be the woman he was looking for; he approached the counter, reviewed the menu, and found a non-coffee beverage that would work. He ordered a large strawberry and pineapple smoothie, hoping they wouldn't add a bunch of powders to plus it.

The girl behind the counter smiled at him when she handed the smoothie to him and wished him a good day. Ryan looked again at all of the tables, hoping his date would identify herself. None of the other patrons acknowledged his confused and lost look.

"Guess who..." a pair of cool, long-fingered hands covered his eyes and body pressed up against him from behind. He could feel a pair of breasts pushing into his back; he figured she was a bit shorter than he was, her breasts were on the fuller side, which, against his intentions, aroused his interest. The smell of coffee and pastries was chased away by what appeared to be a blend of a soft, light rose scent and clean, refreshing jasmine. The odor bordered on intoxicating.

"SocialButterfly28," he stated.

"Right on one, that earns you a prize." The hands disappeared; before his eyes could adjust, he felt a soft pair of lips brush his neck just under his right ear. "I think I might need to carry a ladder around with me; I was aiming for your earlobe." The was a tinkling giggle that followed. Ryan turned to face his date.

Upon seeing her, he fought to keep his breath as he took her all in. Ryan had tried not to build a mental image and had by default created an expectation of average blond woman, average height, average weight, average bust, blue eyes hidden behind glasses (because most people wore glasses these days), pretty but not remarkable. In his mind's eye, he and built the girl next door crossed with a late bloomer. His expectations were shattered. Her body no doubt inspired the wildest fantasies of both men and women, narrow waist perfect for holding on to, an ass that had the perfect amount of curve without being either too little or cartoonishly too much, legs that were toned to a millimeter of perfection, flat stomach, and breasts that had to be solid D-cups on a frame that made them seem on the larger side of ideal especially for a breast man, which Ryan was. Her face was lit by a contagious smile that caused her eyes to sparkle. She wore a light amount of make-up that seemed to enhance her beauty rather than craft and define a look. She was wearing a white summer dress with pink flowers that barely reached her knee and elegantly put her breasts on tasteful display.

Ryan wanted to pinch himself because there was no way this was actually happening to him. It had to be a joke or punk or whatever they called humiliating old men for TV these days. He wondered briefly how he could possibly be in the same building as her without noticing.

"Okay, now that you have thoroughly inspected the goods, care to buy a girl a drink?" She took his arm and steered him back to the counter where an order for a coffee-inspired drink was placed, an apple pastry was also purchased.

"Have you regained your ability for speech?" the vision before him asked.

"I believe I have quite recovered from my surprise," Ryan replied, proud of the fact that he didn't stumble over his words. However, his eyes did dart around the cafe looking for cameras or a cheesy host that would jump out with a stinger line about batting out of one's league.

"Ryan, you can relax. This is all real. You and I are on a date. I promise you nothing weird is going to happen, that is unless you want it to. I can be pretty accommodating for the right person." She fluttered her eyelashes at him.

"I'm sorry. This is not going the way I expected; it's taking my brain a few minutes to catch up." Ryan took a sip of his smoothie to pause the moment.

"I totally get it. You were expecting either the mouse or the whore, and you got me." She smiled again. "This is why I didn't want to but a real picture of myself up on the profile. The scum I attract is unreal." She took a sip of her coffee beverage and then added, "Now on to the important question before we go any further. Divorced or Cheating?" Her blue eyes glanced down at the wedding ring on his left hand.

"Excuse me?"

"I have a bet with my friend that needs to be settled. Are you Divorced and haven't just taken the ring off? Or are you cheating and too stupid to remember to take the ring off?" She smiled again, but there was an icy chill to her questions that gave him the impression of the seriousness of the question.

"Neither." It was his turn to catch her off guard. She almost dropped the pastry. "I am a widower who is kinda hung up on the past."

"So I am competing with the memory of the love of your life. I think I can accept that." She reached across the table and took his left hand in both of hers, looking directly into his eyes. "You keep that ring on as long as you need to. It tells me what kind of man you are, plus it will keep most of the vultures away from you. So, tell me, what does a hot widower do with his time these days? You still grinding away at the career?"

"Retired, recently actually. My daughter, who is my youngest, just finished college, there isn't a need for me to keep working the 9-to-5, plus my old employer wanted to hire a bunch of youngsters and offered us old guys an early retirement package that was too good to pass up. Plus, we were smart with planning, retirement savings, investments, paid off house, and controlled expenses. It isn't a lot, but it is enough to let me do the things I like." Probably told her too much but honesty is always best. I'm not dumb enough to become her sugar-daddy no matter how gorgeous she is.

"I should talk to you about planning. I work as a contractor, so I end up paying for my own benefits. Come to think of it, I could use some advice on retirement planning. I mean, I am pretty good about saving money, but in the end, it just sits in a bank account, not doing anything. But we can save that for another time. Two things. I would like to hear more about what you do to fill your days but, and this is important, so pay attention; I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop referring to yourself as old. By using that word to denigrate yourself, thus building an excuse to not enjoy our date."