A Trip Bac Home

I wasn't going to mope around my rooms in the hopes that Cygne would come down the stairs and talk, so I headed into the Power Plant and got a good four hours of painting done. Then I went to Rheingold and practiced a little. I got home around seven, fixed myself a little dinner, and watched some college football on the TV. No Cyg, so I went to bed.

Sunday passed slowly. I had about stopped expecting Cyg to show up when, of course, she did. I answered her knock on the door and invited her in. She took off her coat and sat on the couch. I sat in my comfy chair and waited.

Tentatively. "Soooo... That was a really big...thing...you left me with."

I nodded, smiling crookedly in acknowledgement. "Yeah. Sort of out of the ordinary."

"Um. You're really serious about this?"

"I am."

She shook her head skeptically.

"Ok." I responded, "Go with me for a minute. Let's put this shoe on the other foot. If I were the girl and was insistent that I wait until there was a ring on it, what would you think of that?"

"Lizzie and I thought about that and we decided that the situations aren't really comparable. Women have the potential of getting pregnant. They have the right to make their own decisions about that. It's their body, after all."

I just looked at her, held up my hand, and shook my head.

"You really mean to sit there and tell me that pregnancy is solely a female responsibility or a woman's prerogative? That the child is of no concern to the father...the sperm donor? That I have no right to make my own reproductive decisions?" I scoffed.

"Well..."

"I see the responsibility as exactly equal, especially given my experience. I refuse to dismiss myself from the baby equation, and I won't let you dismiss me, either."

"As I was going to say..." she glared at me, "I guess I've never met a guy who could walk this talk. They've all wanted to have sex...consequences be damned."

"I suppose that's valid, but you've known me for over two months. Haven't I walked this talk?"

She nodded relunctantly and looked around the room, anywhere but at me. "So, what now?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, are we really in an exclusive relationship if we're not having sex? Do we really have a commitment without it? Is it really a relationship?"

"I'm not dating anyone else, but we've never made that claim on each other. I have a sort of de facto exclusivity. I only date one girl at a time. I don't date people I'm not committed to. It certainly is an emotional relationship. I just don't have sex. Again, that's just me."

She looked up sharply. "I'm not seeing anyone else, either."

"So...we're exclusive? Either we are, or we aren't."

Her jaw tightened and she held my gaze. The force is strong in this one.

"I guess we are," she allowed.

"You guess?"

"Ok. We are."

"And if we ever decide not to be exclusive slash committed slash in an emotional relationship...either of us...we'll have a conversation and break up."

She nodded. "You make it sound so cut and dried."

"Aaaaand... if we need to sound something out, we'll have a conversation and come to an agreement, or break up."

"You keep saying that. Do you want to break up?"

"No, I want to make sure neither of us does break up without the other one knowing."

She nodded grudgingly. "Ok, deal."

I met her eyes and nodded. "You want something to drink?"

"Got any more of that wine?"

"I do...or at least something like it." I got myself a vanilla porter and brought that and her wine back. I sat down next to her on the couch.

"A toast," she said, "to us."

I stopped her hand as it moved toward her mouth. "A toast to us--knowing our own minds and keeping things out in the open." We sipped.

I hadn't had any dinner yet, but Cyg wasn't hungry so we started to make out. She was a great kisser and I always got hard from feeling her breasts. She put her hand on my cock through my jeans and stroked while we traded tongues. Her legs parted slightly and I moved my hand slowly up her thigh. She hummed and squeezed my cock harder. I dropped my lips to her tit and captured one of her lovely nipples. I bit gently through her shirt and bra. She sighed. I pulled the one nipple with my teeth while I gently squeezed the other between my thumb and index finger. I pulled. I twisted. I licked. Her nipples were so hard I could feel them through her clothes, and her legs fell farther apart.

She gritted her teeth as she unzipped my jeans. Her warm hand was in my boxers and captured my dick. She went down on me and kissed the tip licking up my precum. I reached around her back and slid my fingers under her panties to squeeze her ass. I loosened her jeans and thrust my other hand down the front of her pants

Her slit was wet and I gently stroked her outer lips, spreading the dampness and moistening my fingers. I used my middle finger and fucked her gently. Her hand tightened on my cock. I reached behind under her top and released her bra. I stroked her under her clothes, pinching her hard nipples. She returned the favor with my jeans and shorts, grasping my now rigid member.

I ate her to three orgasms and I got both a nice hand job and a BJ as we sealed our agreement.

I took Cyg to Schyler for my folks' corporate Thanksgiving party where she met more people than she'd ever begin to remember. We split up to our own homes for Thanksgiving break.

December was busy with the Opera, her Orchestra, Christmas Concerts, fundraisers for the University, banquets and even a couple of weddings my accompanist and I sang for.

At Christmas, she introduced me around in Bayfront to her large family and her classmates. We went into the New Year a couple.

We were back at school for ten days then had first semester finals. We visited my folks early during semester break and then went to Bayfront and her family and the ski area there to finish it out. I'd never skied, but I had some natural athletic ability and I had fun. Cygne was my teacher. She'd been on the area ski racing team in high school.

We were taking a break from the hill and waiting in line for some coffee when a guy in a ski patrol jacket swooped in and hugged Cygne. It was no casual hug and I made note of the wholehearted participation from Cyg. But really it wasn't anything different from a couple of greetings I'd received at the Thanksgiving party back home. They broke apart and started an animated conversation.

If we had been in Schyler, it was at this point that I would have included Cyg and introduced her as my girlfriend. I waited. Their conversation ran down, and I swear she looked at me without recognition. She was somewhere else with someone else. She looked my way, blinked and gasped as she realized she'd forgotten about me for a time. It was comical.

"Oh!" She had a stricken look. "Kelly!"

I smiled and extended my hand. "Hi, I'm Kelly Carroll. I didn't catch your name."

"I'm Davey Robinson. Cygne and I are old friends." He shared a private look and a smile with Cyg, and she blushed.

"She has a few of those, I understand." That earned me a sharp look from Cyg. I held her gaze.

Davey looked chagrined then shook his head turning back to Cyg. "Tearing it up on the slopes, Cyg?"

"No, I'm helping Kelly learn some basics."

"Stuck on the bunny slope?" Davey looked horrified.

Cyg laughed. ""He's doing very well..."

I moved ahead to the counter and placed our order. Cyg and Davey continued to catch up with each other. I took a seat and waited sipping at my chai. Cyg broke away from Davey and clomped over to my table in her ski boots.

"You mind if I go do a few runs with Davey? He's done with his patrol shift."

"Heck no. Go ahead. I'll practice what we've worked on so far."

Cyg smiled wide and reached over squeezing my tricep. She grabbed her mocha then turned away and strode off with Robinson.

I picked up my chai and started to explore the lodge. The cafeteria was slammed because of the lunch crowd and most of the tables were full. I wandered around looking for the men's room when I spotted a familiar face by the windows overlooking the view of the lake.

"Beth? Beth Schultz? Is that you?" I grinned.

"Kelly Carroll?" She gasped. "I didn't know you were a skier!"

"Just started today."

Beth had been a year behind me at Schyler High. At her invitation, I sat down at her table and she introduced me around to her friends from State where she was now a freshman. We spent some time sharing about things since I'd last seen her. She was especially positive about my switch to music major. We had been in choir and two musicals together. An hour later I said I needed to hit the slopes again.

"Hey, you guys, I'm going to go with Kelly and watch him show off," she said to her college mates.

"You don't need to do that, Beth. I'll just practice what my girlfriend taught me this morning."

"Nope. I'm coming with you. You are at a crucial stage of your schussing development. I might be able to offer a few pointers myself," she grinned.

I shrugged. "You're on if you can show me where the rest rooms are located first."

"Luckily, they're right near my locker."

We made a potty stop and gathered up our skis and poles then headed back to the beginner's slope. She followed me down the run the first time and we rode up the chairlift together. She gave me a few suggestions and the next run I managed to make it all the way to the bottom in a parallel stance. We made several more trips...each better than the last...and were both standing at the top congratulating me when Cyg skied up next to us off the cat track.

"Cyg! I'd like you to meet Beth Schultz. She's been helping me while you were off with..." I couldn't remember his name. "...um..."

"Davey, Davey Robinson."

"Yeah, him. You wanna see what we've done?"

Cygne blinked. "Yeah. Sure. Show me what you've got."

I pulled my goggles down and took off down the hill. I managed to link my turns and had a personal best in front of Beth and Cyg. I skidded to a stop at the bottom of the lift. Cyg was visibly surprised.

"What d'ya think?" I grinned.

"Very smooth!" Beth cheered.

Cyg's reaction was cool. She nodded stiffly and headed for the lift line. She pointedly caught on with a single rider and Beth and I headed up together.

"Should I take off?" Beth asked. "She seems a little put out."

"No. Stick around. I need to see what she does."

Cyg was waiting when we hit the unloading ramp.

"Should we move up the hill a little?" She asked.

"Sure, if you think I'm ready," I offered.

Cyg left first for the mid mountain chair lift and caught on with another single. Beth accompanied me.

"Ok. Here's the plan. I'll ski down ahead of you and show you the fall line. Remember when we talked about that? Then you just do your thing once you see it. If you start to go too fast, just stop or you can always use your snowplow to slow down."

I nodded. I rotated my shoulders and neck. The unloading ramp was different from the one on the bunny hill, but I managed to steer out of the traffic. Beth gave me a nod and we skied down after Cyg who hadn't waited for us. It stretched my abilities a few times, but it was a great run. Cyg looked a little taken aback when we met her at the bottom.

I pre-empted her speaking as I stepped out of my skis. "That's all I have the energy for. I'm gonna take this stuff back to the rental folks. It was so nice to see you, Beth. Thanks for your help." I picked up my skis. "Where should I meet you, Cyg?"

"I'll change out and meet you there at rentals." She ignored Beth. I gave her a hug and an air kiss.

I trudged off across the packed snow to the rental shack. I turned in my gear and settled up. By the time I was done Cyg was there and we moved on to the car where she stowed her stuff in the ski rack and inside the hatchback.

The ride down the mountain in her Mom's car was silent for a while. Cyg was driving so I didn't want to distract her...although she had been chatty when we drove up that morning. Finally she broke the silence.

"What was that? Revenge?" Cyg bit out.

"Revenge? For what?" I felt my face go hard.

"Davey. I find an old friend and spend some time skiing with him, and I come back to find you've found an old girlfriend."

"Well, first off, she's not an old girlfriend, but I did know her in high school. Secondly, how was my running into someone I know any different from you meeting someone you know?"

She negotiated one of the switchbacks in the mountain road before she spoke.

"I asked you if it was ok for me to ski with Davey."

"And, if you'd been there when I met up with Beth, I would have asked you if it was ok for me to ski with her...or her with us...if she wanted. I don't see the problem here. Did I object when you asked to go off with Davey?"

"No," she said grudgingly, "but maybe you should have."

My eyebrows raised involuntarily. "Oh, so now I'm in trouble for not being a mind reader? Let me see..." I put my fingertips to my temples and closed my eyes. "Davey what's-his-name was one of your ex's...maybe your first. How's that for telepathic communication?" I could tell I'd hit the bullseye. "Maybe you're still carrying a torch for him."

She swallowed. "I guess you always remember your first."

"I guess I'll find that out someday."

Another switchback. We were getting low enough on the hill that the road was clearing of compact snow. She was picking up speed and we rode in silence for a while again.

"I suppose I'm a little insecure," she admitted.

"Projection much?" I laughed.

"What do you mean by that?" She huffed.

"You meet an old significant other which puts you in an odd head space. A little time travel? When you see me with someone from my past, you assume I am having the same experience."

She just looked annoyed, and we rode In silence to her Mom's house. When Cyg pulled in and parked next to my pickup, I put my hand on her forearm.

"Cyg, you have the right to see anyone you want to. I was pleased that you asked me first, but I never had a thought of saying 'no' or of being pissy about it. You owe me the same consideration. I've always hoped my actions speak louder than words, but I know we may need to talk a few things out."

She took a deep breath. "Is my wanting to ski with Davey cause for one of your 'talk then break-up' scenarios?"

"No. I just now said I was ok with that. It's how you treated me--and Beth--when you got back. I am saying we need to live with similar expectations of each other and talk about it if a problem like this arises. I will not live in a little box while you roam the countryside."

Cyg nodded. "That's fair. Can we not do it tonight here at Mom's, though?"

"If you can tell me what you would do differently next time, I think our discussion is over."

"I'd treat you like you treated me when Davey showed up."

I smiled. "Good enough for me. We've been together for three and a half months. I really expected we'd run into a problem before now. I think we're doing pretty well."

"Ok, then. Give me a kiss and let's get some dinner. I'm starving."

Back at school the second semester took off. I got a good part in the spring opera and was busy with evening rehearsals. Cyg was busy in the pit orchestra for the show and her basic degree requirements. In March, she was headed back north to Bayfront. She needed to attend a Junior Miss pageant as she was last year's Queen. The string orchestra was going with as the department deemed it to be a great opportunity to recruit. My accompanist, Jennie Mohr was going as she was the pianist for the strings.

They all took off mid-morning on the first Friday in March and I finished out my day and went to rehearsal at six o'clock. We broke up at eight and I pedaled through the wind and rain to Rathskeller's, a pizza joint near my apartment that catered to the college crowd. I joined a few friends and we shared a pie and root beer.

At nine, my phone pinged. No message, just a pic from Jennie of Cyg tearfully passing her crown on to her successor. I texted my thanks and returned to my group. Fifteen minutes later another pic showed up. Cyg was guiding the group down a street of her hometown. Fifteen minutes later, what was obviously an after party but not at Cyg's Mom's place. I couldn't see Cyg in this pic.

At ten, my phone sounded again and displayed an over exposed, blurry, smiling top half of Jennie's face in the lower left corner. Lots of alcohol and glasses on a table dominated the center of the shot.

Nothing until eleven. Most of my group at Rath's were paired up and dancing when the photo of Cyg and the ski patrol asshole on a couch showed up. I got up and said my goodbyes, got my bike and walked it the short distance to my rooms.

My phone alerted as I hung up my wheels. I purposely did not look at it while I grabbed a beer from the fridge and took a seat in my recliner. I swiped up and opened my messages. There under the previous pics were two new ones.

Cyg was in the final stages of chugging a beer in the first and seated with a goofy grin on the couch in the second. It was pretty obvious she had had more to drink than I had. Well, getting drunk didn't violate the girlfriend code, but I hoped she'd be careful. You can generally recover from being drunk. Poor decisions while you're drunk are sometimes another thing completely. I put my phone away where I could ignore it, had a few more beers and went to bed.

I was up and about the next morning fairly early. I took the Chevy to Mr. Oilcan and had them do a service. Then I killed time studying until I knew the "team bus" was scheduled to be back at the music building. I didn't want to call her until she had had plenty of time to sleep on the trip back.

Cyg's phone rang twice and she picked up.

"Hi, Kelly."

"Hi, yourself. You need a ride or anything?"

"No. Jennie's got her van and she's hauling all of us who need it home."

"You going back to the dorm?"

"Yeah, gotta drop my stuff off."

"K, take care."

"Always. Bye." She disconnected.

I looked at the little blue dot that indicated I had unread messages, but I swiped the screen closed without looking at them.

At 2:30 PM, there was a rap on my door. Cyg usually knocked and came right on in. No one entered so I went and opened the door. There stood Cygne with her sister Lizzie. I made my "what's up" face and stepped back to allow them to enter. Closing the door, I followed them into the living area. They were seated on the couch.

"Hi, Lizzie. What's up, Cyg?" I took a seat in my LaZBoy.

Lizzie looked sideways at Cyg and began. "Cyggy wanted a little moral support so I came along."

"Is this about the party last night?"

Lizzie looked down between her feet. Cyg looked at me, wide eyed.

"What...what do you know about...uh... last night?" Cyg asked.

I shrugged. "Got a few pics on my phone."

They were both quiet. To her credit, Lizzie hung right in there for her sister. She took her hand and held it, fingers intertwined. A moment passed, and then the older sister nodded once to Cyg encouraging her to speak.

"After the pageant, we all sorta went to a party. Well, a couple of 'em, actually." She shared a look with her sister. "First we went to Peggy Mazlow's. Peggy was my first princess last year. A lot of my classmates were there, and they all brought something to drink." She broke off and looked out the window. "I had some drinks. Quite a few drinks, and I was feeling no pain."

"Sometime later we all moved to another place and maybe even a third one." She looked back at me, chagrined. "I don't really remember anything after...well after getting to the second party."

I pursed my lips. "So...you need Lizzie to help you tell me you got wasted?"

"No...no," she hesitated looking to Lizzie for support. "I need her help to tell you I didn't know what I was doing. I blacked out." She looked away again. "But I do remember Davey Robinson was there."