Once again I must thank HONEYWLDCAT for her patience and help with this story. Her editing is thoughtful and always encouraging. Thank you so much.
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On the second Saturday in March, Grant High School held its annual fundraiser. They had a carnival in the gym of the school.
There were food booths, games of chance, games of skill and crafts for sale. We rented the games from a local contractor and manned them with students and teachers. Local restaurants and diners would rent the food booths and the school would get a piece of the profits.
This Carnival would bring in some much needed money. So, there was a lot of planning and scheduling that went into this fundraiser.
The biggest attraction was the Dunking Stool. It was a big tub about four feet high that had a couple hundred gallons of water in it. There was a seat above the tank. The seat was connected to a huge target that was set up next to the tub.
One could buy two softballs for a dollar. You would throw the balls at the target, if you hit the bull's eye there would be a loud clang and the seat would drop away, plunging the sitter into the pool. The jocks and teachers would be the victims. The teachers were the biggest draws, as all the students wanted to sink their favorite or not so favorite teachers.
Jocks volunteered and the teachers were drawn by lot. The three chaplains held the drawing. Somehow, I was not picked to take the seat. This was much to the annoyance of many students, especially the Water Rats.
The high point of the day came at one in the afternoon. Two softballs were auctioned off. The intended victim was the Principal, Dr. North. There was no way I was not going to lose at the auction and I made sure that I had far more money than I thought I needed.
I arrived at the carnival dressed in a three-piece suit, white shirt and tie. The way I showed up for class. Everyone laughed asking why the suit. I told them that someone had to bring some decorum to the event. That brought even louder laughter.
After being at the carnival for a while, I noticed that no one ever threw more than four softballs before dunking the person sitting on the seat. Then I noticed that when someone missed two or three throws John, the owner of the tank, would put his hand in his vest pocket and on the next throw there was a clang and the victim fell into the water.
I walked over to John and mentioned that it was great that people were such good throwers. He looked at me with a little concern. I smiled and said, "I think that it's a great idea. Keeps the line moving and there are no temper tantrums."
"Sometimes it can get rather ugly. Someone gets mad and the madder they get the worse their aim is. It can put a damper on the whole carnival," John said.
We were interrupted by the Catholic Chaplain, Father James, getting up on a chair and announcing that the auction for the two softballs to dunk the Principal, Dr. Genevieve North. Father James was flanked by Reverend Logan and Rabbi Cohen, the Protestant Chaplain and the Jewish Chaplain.
Jen was standing there with a very conservative, loose bathing suit covered by a light robe.
The bidding started off and slowly, ever so slowly the bids rose. It was noisy, with people yelling, shouting and laughing. When it finally got to forty-five dollars, I said to John, "I have to end this agony."
I walked over to the crowd and in a loud voice I said, "One Hundred Dollars"
Silence...everyone turned and looked at me. Jens eyes were like saucers.
Jamal was the first to speak, "What do you have against Dr. North?"
"Who do you think stuck me with you guys? What could be more fitting than the mentor of the Water Rats to dunk Dr. North in the water?" I shouted.
There was a lot of laughing and hooting after I said that.
Marisa, my prize Water Rat then spoke up (something she did quite often), "You are going to get your revenge against Dr. North and you are only going to put up a "C" note? Why not a "C" note per softball?"
The crowd joined yelling and shouting for me to pay the two hundred. Jen started to say something. I laughed and shouted over her, saying, "Sounds like a bargain to me, two hundred for the privilege of dunking Dr. North."
Father James roared with laughter and quickly shouted, "Going...going...GONE. Sold to Mr. Fitzgibbons. NOW, Mr. Fitzy...THE MONEY!"
I handed him two, one hundred dollar bills.
Father James made a big production about inspecting them. He then handed one bill to Reverend Logan and one bill to Rabbi Cohen. They also made a big production inspecting them. Finally, the three of them pronounced the money to be real and I was given the two softballs.
As the money inspection was going on, Jen had climbed up the latter and sat on the dunking seat. She was softly laughing and shaking her head. With the two softballs in hand I went over to the throwing line and stretched my arms.
The majority of the crowd wanted me to miss, but there was a contingent that wanted Jen in the water.
I wound up and threw the first ball...it missed. Believe it or not...that's what I wanted to do.
The crown went wild, yelling insults at me. Can't hit the side of a barn...Fitzys blind, etc.
I was unaffected by their insults. When they quieted down a bit, I explained that the jacket restricted my movements and went about removing it. Once again I stretched and wound up and threw the ball. It flew straight and true. There was a loud clang and the seat dropped away and Jen plunged into the water.
The crowd screamed. Most were yelling at me for dunking Jen.
Jen stood up in the pool and laughed. As she started to climb out of the water, Marisa yelled, "Hey Mr. Fitz, ain't you gonna let Dr. North get some revenge on you?"
The crowd picked up on that and started shouting that I should get on the seat and let Dr. North have a try.
I raised both my hands to quiet the crown and then said, "Why should I...Wait a minute, Dr. North played in the Varsity/Faculty Basketball game...and she played in the Student/Faculty Softball Game. Yea, I have seen her throw...No problem...I will be just as dry after she throws the balls as I am now."
I started to go the locker room, but I stopped and loudly said, "Why should I change? Why waste the time?"
I started to walk back to the tank. I stopped in front of John and put my jacked back on. Under my breath I said, "John, she gets the first throw...but, I go in on the second...no matter what."
With a deadpan face, John whispered, "Okay, you're the boss."
I made a big production about going up the ladder and sitting on the seat. I took off my shoes and socks, saying that my feet would dangle in the water and I didn't want to get my shoes wet.
Jen was standing at the throwing line. She was beautiful, standing there dripping wet, her hair hanging straight down and the light robe sticking to her body. She had a big smile on her face but I could see that she wanted to dunk me, more than anything.
Reverend Logan held up his hands to quiet the crowd and shouted, "Quiet please Principal North has to concentrate if she is going to sink this here teacher."
The crowd was silent as Jen wound up and threw the ball. It flew at the target...and missed the bull's eye. There was a sigh of disappointment from the crowd.
I laughed and shouted, "What did I tell you? I could sit here all afternoon and still be dry as a bone.