A Tale of Two Titties

Except for Terri getting a good look at a cow moose for the first time in her life, the hike back to camp was enjoyable but uneventful—until we had to cross the creek.

Terri had exchanged her hiking boots for her flip flops before we began crossing the creek. I led the way so that she would have an idea of what to expect as far as the depth of the water was concerned.

I was just starting to come out of the strongest and deepest part of the current when I got a hint that not all was well. "Oh shit!" By the time that I had turned around I was able to see one of Terri's flip flops traveling downstream while she struggled to regain her balance. Unfortunately, she had her walking stick in her upstream hand and it was giving her no help in the battle to keep her balance!

I began moving toward Terri and a little bit downstream of her just in time to see her completely lose her balance in a flailing flurry of arms and walking stick and to hear a loud "Ahhh Fuh..." which was terminated by a loud splash and something of a gurgling sound. Things seemed to happen pretty fast after that. The next thing I was really conscious of was that my butt was stimulatingly wet and cold, Terri was totally soaked, and I was holding her pack solidly enough so that at least her head was out of the water. I stood up from the semi-squatting position I was in and pulled her back up onto her feet.

After something of a short and impromptu waltz in the water, we managed to achieve a measure of stability in the current as we clung to each other and braced our position with my walking stick.

"That was a bit of a surprise adventure! What happened?"

Terri was angry! "That damned thong! The fucking river caught it and pulled it away from my heel so that I came down on the bottom with the back half of my bare foot. Then when I tried to get the whole thing under my foot I began to lose my balance. That's when the current finally pulled the damned thing off of my foot and I went to grab it before it got away. I was far enough off balance by then that it was easy for the current to take over and turn me into a damned drowned rat!"

"Well, I wish to report that you are the most attractive drowned rat that I have ever seen!" I gave her a quick peck on the lips and added, "And even better, you can't win a drowned rat contest because you failed to drown! I don't know about you, but I am a happy camper—even if my butt is soaking wet!"

"What kind of a fucking flirt fanatic are you? I take a dive in a fucking river and you tell me I'm attractive?"

"Ah, but I speak the truth. A drenching does have detrimental effects on certain aspects of your attractiveness." I pushed some of Terri's hair out of her eyes. "On the other hand, certain features of your attractiveness do come to the fore after experiencing a drenching." To emphasize my point I grinned and gently brushed the two braless nipples that were quite obvious under Terri's wet T-shirt.

"You ARE a fucking pervert!" Terri slapped my hands away, paused for a couple of heartbeats, shook her head, took a deep breath, and gave me something of an inscrutable smile. "And I AM a fucking idiot!

"Here I am spouting more obscenities than I ever thought I had in me right in front of the person who was nice enough to make sure I didn't drown!"

Terri took another deep breath and locked eyes with me. "If I may be permitted to step out of my current semi-hysteric character, may I suggest that we move to shore where we can take stock of the situation without having the secondary concern of maintaining our balance in all this rushing water?"

"That's my girl! Can you walk to the bank, or do I need to carry you?"

"The bottom feels more gravelly than rocky here. I'm sure that my bare foot will not be happy about walking on it, but if you would be so kind as to lend me a shoulder to lean on, I can't imagine having to hit you up for a ride."

Suiting action to words, we then proceeded to make our way to the bank of the creek where we stopped on a sand and gravel bar. The first flurry of business was for Terri to dig into her backpack and see how wet her cell phone had gotten! She was pleasantly surprised to discover that the phone seemed to be completely dry and there was hardly any water inside her pack.

"I'm not totally surprised about the lack of water in your pack since a few years ago my oldest son decided that the rest of the family was running way too slow for him so he decided to take a short cut across the creek. He discovered that his "short cut" had a narrow but deep beaver pond right in the middle of it. However, there was a convenient fallen tree over it that he could use to cross. About two-thirds of the way across, some dead bark peeled out from under his feet and he did a back flop into the pond!

"As he described it later, he practically levitated out of the water and rushed to shore where he immediately dumped the contents of his pack out and discovered that everything had stayed dry, including his cell phone!"

"By how much did he beat the rest of the family back to camp?"

"Welll, he didn't. When we got back to camp, I was surprised that he was nowhere to be seen. At first we all thought that he was in one of the outhouses in the camp taking care of business.

"However, after about 20 minutes, I was busy trying to formulate where I would start looking for him when he came dragging into camp all wet and looking somewhat worse for wear. His "short cut" had cost him some skin, his dignity, and the time he thought he was going to gain. In return he got an opportunity to learn something important, I hope."

Terri laughed, "I can empathize. My phone isn't toast but my dignity sure is!" As she triumphantly looked up at me from her dry phone, her eyes got wide and her grin became a frown! "What the shit happened to your head?"

"What do you mean? It's wet. I think that you splashed some water on it when you decided to take your swim." That was about the same time that the wetness on my head seemed to trickle past my headband and down my neck.

"Stef, creek water is NOT bright red! Sit down so I can take a good look at the top of your knob!"

"Uh, yes m'am." I said as I squatted down.

"Jesus Christ! You're bleeding like a stuck pig! It looks like your head is split wide open!

"Here, give me your T-shirt!" she said as she grabbed it at the bottom and yanked it up and over my head. My sun visor and the bandanna folded into a headband came off with the T-shirt. Terri slipped the visor and bandana out of the shirt and proceeded to fold the shirt into a pad that she then used to apply pressure to the wound.

Up until the headband came off my head, I was wondering at Terri's level of excitement, but as soon as the headband was gone I could tell that the trickle going down my neck increased in volume noticeably. "Okay, how bad is it?"

"There is too much blood in your hair to tell for sure. Head wounds always bleed like stuck pigs, so I suppose it could be anything from a half inch to a couple. Let me keep pressure on it till it starts to clot and then we'll see about a closer look, okay?"

"Yes m'am. It sounds like your priorities are about the same as mine and I know that you have a much better view of the show than I do. Basically, you're the doctor as far as I'm concerned!"

"What all do you have in that first aid kit on your belt, Stef?"

"Everything you'd need to patch me up with, but since we're so close to camp, I don't see much sense in getting into it since I have a better kit at camp and if my hair needs to be shaved around the cut, I'd prefer that we use my clippers rather than the razor blade in this first aid kit.

"If it turns out to be really hard to turn off the flow, I have some gauze pads that we can use while we get back to camp... errr, wait! I almost forgot, I've got a packet of Celox clotting agent in the zipper pocket on my holster."

"Well, obviously, I have my hands full at the moment. Why don't you get it out of that pocket?"

Terri wanted to use the Celox right away, but I suggested that I get all the blood washed out of my hair first. "After all, if we have to shave some of the hair, a wad of clots might make it really difficult to shave."

I could almost hear the wheels turning in Terri's head before she answered, "Oh... Kay... That does seem to make the most sense.

"My water bottle is almost empty. Is there enough water in your bottle to wash the blood out?"

"No, I think that washing it out in cold creek water will work best. The cold water will help stop the bleeding and there is an unlimited supply of creek water."

"I'm nervous about using unpurified creek water, but if you're comfortable with it, okay.

"Why don't you drop your shorts so they don't get any wetter when we get out into the creek and rinse the blood out. As for me, I'm already soaked, so it doesn't make any difference for me."

Terri continued to think out loud, "Once we get the blood washed out, I need some dry cloth to dry the cut so that the Celox doesn't get washed away; I guess that means that I use my halter top for a towel."

"What about your feet?"

"The hell with my feet! You're the one with the extra hole in his head! Now why don't you get out to where the water is just deep enough that you can lie down on your back with your head upstream and your face just out of the water?"

A few minutes later, I was in the water and Terri was rinsing the blood out of my hair and the cut. Once the cold water hit the wound, I suddenly became very aware that my head hurt at that spot big time! Once she was satisfied that my hair and the cut were clear of blood, she had me sit up so she could dry the wound area with her halter top and then sprinkled the Celox granules into the cut.

"It was still oozing when I finished drying, but, boy, that Celox stuff really seems to stop it up just zip! Pretty awesome!"

"Okay, great! Now, I'd probably better get back to shore where it is a bit warmer just in case my carcass decides that it needs to go into shock." In reply to Terri's rather alarmed look I said, "No, I don't think there is anything to worry about. It's not like I've lost a quart of blood, and I haven't actually seen it squirting out of my carcass, so I don't think that shock is a serious threat—I just don't see any sense in tempting fate!"

While I sat on the bank, Terri rinsed the blood out of all the clothes we had used to deal with the crisis. When she was done, Terri draped all the wet fabric on the nearby bushes to dry and then sat down beside me.

"How are you feeling?"

"Oh, a little chilly and a headache that almost keeps me from noticing the chill."

"Here, put on your long-sleeve shirt. Your torso is almost dry and it should keep most of this little breeze off of you."

"Okay, thank you!"

Terri sat down beside me and asked, "Now what did you do to get that split in your head?"

"I've got a blank spot in my memory, but I think I know what happened."

"Okay..."

"I was moving toward you as you were going down. Your arms seemed to be everywhere and just before you went down I saw something moving awfully fast out of the corner of my eye. Then there is a blank spot and the next thing I remember is finding myself with a handful of your pack and a cold wet butt! Oh, and your walking stick was a couple of yards downstream from us and rapidly exiting the scene."

"Ohmyfuckinggod! You mean I hit you with my walking stick?"

"I don't think that anybody was throwing rocks at us, so that is about the only conclusion that holds any water."

Terri burst into tears and hugged me with a death-grip! "Stef, Stef, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! I'm so, so sorry!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, beautiful! I know it was an accident! The Universe gave us a test and it cost you your dignity and a few ounces of blood for me. You didn't drown and I didn't get completely knocked out.

"I will also add that you are a pretty solid person to have providing help in a crisis! So, thank you, big time, my dear!" I hugged Terri back and kissed her wet and tangled hair.

After a while, Terri stopped wetting my shirt with tears and asked, "What's our next move, Stef?"

"If your feet are reasonably tough, you could walk barefoot on the grassy path that we came in on, and if not, I would suggest that you just wear your hiking boots. Then in either case, I suggest that you hop on my back and we cross the muddy sloughs that way?"

"This tenderfoot is wearing her hiking boots! However, why don't you want me crossing the sloughs even if I wasn't a total tenderfoot?"

"Unless you are used to going everywhere barefoot, the sloughs are pretty well choked with rotting brush and roots and the like which make me worry that some of it might be sharp enough to punch a hole in a tenderfoot's skin."

"Okay, I guess I get to ride... Or maybe I should say—Oh, boy! I get to ride!" she said with a grin.

We got back to camp without further mishap and once there, I dug around in storage for my own thongs and gave them to Terri. After that, Terri used my beard clippers to shave the hair around the cut in my scalp.

"Boy, that's an impressive goose-egg to go along with the cut! I think you're going to need a couple of stitches!"

"Hmmm, I've got an old army surgical kit for absolute emergencies, but suppose you just gently wash out any Celox that is left in the cut, sanitize the cut with some iodine, and hold it together with one or more butterfly bandages. Would that work, or do we need to get desperate?"

"Iodine will hurt! Don't you have any antibiotics?"

"Antibiotics have expiration dates and experience has taught me that Murphy doesn't visit until after the expiration date passes. At least iodine does not have an expiration date!"

"Well, I'd really like to vote for an emergency room visit, but after looking at this mess with the most jaundiced eye that I can muster, I have to say that, while I'm not a perfectly happy camper, iodine and butterflies will probably do the job—even with a klutz like me doing it."

Terri did a credible job of patching me up and as soon as she was done the first thing out of her mouth was, "Okay, how does this navy shower stuff work?"

"There is a valve on the showerhead that almost shuts the water flow off. What you do is wet your body and the soap bar under the shower. Then you shut off the spray from the showerhead and soap up. Once you have gotten yourself as washed as you are going to get then you turn the spray back on and rinse off. If you are washing your hair, that usually takes a second cycle."

"Hmm, could you demonstrate?"

I had to laugh at that sortie! "Nothing would make me happier! However, in this case, there is a physical limitation that we will not be able to overcome unless you have gotten into Alice's Wonderland and have managed to acquire some slices from the shrinking side of the size-shifting toadstool."

Terri frowned in puzzlement. "What do you mean?"

"Come on to the bathroom and I'll show you what I mean... and, oh, by the way, I had better not take a shower anyway since that will get the bandage on my head wet."

Terri made a side trip to her truck and produced a shower cap that I could use. We then proceeded on to the shower in my trailer.

"Oh my! This IS pretty cozy! I guess it didn't really register when I used the toilet this morning."

"Yes, if this was one of the fifth wheel trailers or BIG motor homes that qualify as palaces on wheels, there would be room to play and maybe even enough water to play in. As it is, two people could sit in this tub if we had enough water but I find the space available for showering to be a bit cozy just for little old me—I have never been able to imagine two people managing to shower together."

Terri looked at the little tub, the shower surround and the shower curtain. Then she kicked off the flip flops and stepped into the tub. "Are you sure? Step into the tub for a minute."

I dutifully slipped off my deck shoes and got into the tub with Terri. I closed the shower curtain and moved my arms a bit. "See, if you use a rag or a loofa to scrub your back and you are standing with your shoulders parallel with the long axis of the tub, it can just be made to work. However, if I stand parallel with the short axis of the tub, there is no chance that I can pull that off without pulling the shower curtain out of the tub and soaking the bathroom floor."

"I see what you are saying, but if you are showering with a partner, you don't have to worry about your own back since your partner can do it for you. Here, let's give it a full test. Just a dry run tho so we don't use up all the water." She gave me an evil grin and began to unbutton my shirt. A few unprotesting moments later I was standing bare-ass naked in front of Terri.

"Wow! Don't you look good enough to eat! Put the shower cap on. Now it's your turn!" I soon had Terri attired in her gorgeous birthday suit. Meanwhile, Little Stefan, who had shown some interest in the party when I was bare, was now practically indistinguishable from a bar of steel!

"Poor Stef, that looks awfully uncomfortable. Let me do something about it!" With that, Terri knelt down in front of me and began to kiss, lick, and suck on my penis!

For the record, I will note that small RV shower/tub units are not the ideal place to engage in oral sex. There is not a whole lot to grab onto and I nearly pulled the shower curtain rod down when Terri managed to slowly and agonizingly entice an orgasm and a nice, big swallow of cum out of Little Stefan!

After Terri had licked me clean as a whistle, I noticed that she had fluid running down her thighs which prompted me to have her stand while I kneeled down and licked the mess off of her thighs. I will confess that I cheated a little bit and did a little work around her labia too.

However, before I brought her to orgasm, we both agreed that the little shower cubby was not the best place to get really serious. We retreated to the bed—to hell with a shower—and began the damndest night of lovemaking that I have ever experienced!

I do not have a coherent memory of everything that transpired that evening and night. What I do have is more like a concatenation of vignettes that are not linked with a sense of time or even mere sequence! I can say that we explored each other's bodies in detail multiple times, both tactilely and orally. Terri managed to get Little Stefan up more times than I ever thought was possible and she was already so revved up that I was amazed at how easy it was to bring her to one squealing and spasming orgasm after another!

We were so devoted to the work at hand that we never even had dinner that night! Well, maybe I should say that we had multiple dinners—just none that we fixed in the kitchen.