I couldn't believe how nervous I was, even in the midst of my confidence in my
intellect, personality, looks, and general worthiness. There was just something about this woman, this new relationship. An ineffable feeling I don't think I've ever had before.
We walk into my humble abode, I give her the extremely short tour, and I start to cook dinner as we talk. A bit of nervousness lingers between the words. Maybe it's because we met on Fetlife, but we each made it clear we're each wanting a serious relationship. Having a dinner date with the woman I met on a website for freaky sex, and haven't yet pinned to the bed like my personal fuck toy, makes for a strange dichotomy.
Over to the table with the food, and a movie while we eat. Although the movie is new to her, I've seen it a few times before, so I have plenty of attention to spare for trying to find a way to initiate our first affectionate contact. Should I rest my hand on her knee? Grab her hand? Offer mine to be grabbed? Bang my forehead on the table until I'm unconscious? Okay, probably not the latter.
Thankfully, a scene in the movie offers me inspiration; but I wait until the credits roll, so she can enjoy the movie. I start sniffing around her, pausing to list things about her that couldn't possibly be smelled. She starts to giggle. I move in toward her ear, knowing that my sniffing is going to crank up the giggles. I brush the hair from her ear, and kiss her neck. She turns to me, and we embrace. A good, firm hug; a good sign that she's as affectionate as me, and likes me as much as I like her. The parallel angles of our chairs have my torso twisted in a way not entirely compatible with the geometry of my spine; but I'm really loving this hug, so I'm willing to sacrifice a spinal disc or two to keep it going.
Thankfully, she soon says "Why don't we snuggle?". Oh, how my heart leaps at those four words! I switch to softer lighting, and we spoon on the bed. I get to be the big spoon to start, and immediately I realize how woefully inadequate my body pillow and stuffed animal (don't judge) have been as a surrogate for a snuggle partner these past few years.
And then, as I settle in, I think... well... I don't really think anything. When I used to
curl up with the body pillow and "Squishypig" (again, don't judge) I would often think about snuggling with a hypothetical special someone. Now that a special someone is in my arms, there's not much to think; there's just a big smile on my mind and lips.
Predictably, my hands eventually begin to wander. Over her face, exploring its
topography like I want to try to memorize it, just in case I don't get to see her again. Into her hair, over her neck.
She wants to be the big spoon, so I gladly roll over. Our arms and legs intertwine. I grab her hand, and kiss the palm, where I know it's so sensitive. Eventually my hands wander some more; this time over her leg and thigh. And butt. And a little lower.
"Looking for something?", with the smile audible in her voice.
