I love the outdoors, especially mountain biking. It is on one of the trails I met my current girlfriend of eighteen months, Tamzin. She is a good rider and we matched in our abilities on the trails. My name is Patrick McCarthy. Tamzin was a social butterfly, whereas I was far more reserved, a published author of a few novels, my chosen genre being action romance.
Right now we were at a bike park. Tamzin had a few friends who had joined us, camping at the bike park. They had a variety of routes for all skill levels, and we had done a black route during the day. It was sixty miles and almost eleven thousand feet of climbing combined. I had ridden the route a lot, as have Tamzin. Her friends, Michael and Rochelle were less experienced riders. The two of them were happily engaged. We were sitting next to a bonfire having a few beers. We had two more friends, Laney and Christina. Laney was also a great rider, but Christina did not have the body shape. She had a lot of passion, and loved to ride in any case. Christina did not join us on our ride, opting for an easier route.
I was troubled by her silence, as it seemed she could not share in the stories we told of the day's adventures. She was not overly large by any margin, but she was shapely. I suspected her power to weight ratio held her back, but Chrissie loved the sport in any case. I hated that she did not feel welcome to ride with us, even after I invited her on countless occasions. She always felt very selfconscious about holding us back.
The chosen topic around the fire was relationship quirks as we had out beers and wine. Soon the discussion meandered into threesomes. Tamzin nudged me.
"Would you consider a threesome?" she asked.
"Nope, not at all," I answered. I had seen an innocent threesome destroy a good friend's engagement because his girlfriend stepped over the agreed-upon boundaries, then refused to acknowledge she was at fault. Eventually, she left him for the threesome partner, and it became clear she was looking to fuck him for a while.
"Come on Patrick, two girls at the same time?" Michael prodded.
"Tamzin is hot enough for two girls," I countered and earned a kiss. Then she spoke.
"And if I wanted a threesome, Patrick?" she asked.
"Sorry Tamzin, It is not something I am open to discussing, either way."
I was sure she was disappointed with my answer. I let it go though, as I was sure the issue was me being controlling and not her wanting a threesome. Rochelle confirmed my suspicions.
"You cannot control her choices, Patrick. If Tamzin wants it you have no say, realistically."
"True, Tamzin is free and I would not hinder her decision. But I am also free. Choices have consequences, Rochie."
"True, and people normally act shocked when the consequences of their poor choices catch up o them," Chrissie added. She worked in a divorce lawyer's office as a paralegal so she had seen her share of trainwrecks. We bantered and joked around the topic. Eventually, we all retired to our huts. Tamzin was a little cold towards me, but we started to get intimate. I licked her gently, she liked it when my tongue caressed her pussy. She had two orgasms, and then I moved over her.
"I am tired, Patrick. Sorry baby," she said softly, but I knew exactly what it was about. She was making sure I honored her choice.
I let go of the idea of sex and felt my cock deflate. Tamzin also did not cuddle like normal. She fell asleep and I got up and made myself a coffee, sitting outside. The sounds of the forest surrounding us soothed me. I replayed the conversations, mostly for research, and recalled Tamzin's well-hidden disappointment that I would not consider sexual quirks. I was not sure if she wanted a threesome, because she had always vehemently vocalized her displeasure at any form of sexual contact with anyone other than her partner. At thirty-three, I had been around the block a few times, and I felt disquiet enter my mental process.
The next morning Tamzin was her usual self and we chatted a little. I suggested that we ride with Christina that day, but Tamzin did not want to, saying Christina held us back. She suggested that I ride with Christina if I was fine with being held back. Her tone was rather acerbic, so I declined for the sake of my mental peace. We rode a different route that day, not wanting to overwork ourselves on the most difficult route again. After we got back I washed the bikes and loaded them, ready for the two-hour drive back to the city. Christina made us a late lunch, and we left. Tamzin was quiet most of the way, texting. Christina was in the SUV with us, so I chatted with her. She often shared some stories that I would then adapt for my books.
I dropped her home, then asked Tamzin if she wanted to come to my place or hers. She opted for hers, saying she was tired. I dropped her and carried her bike into her apartment building for her. She kissed me goodnight and I left. Wednesday evening we had dinner and she spoke of the weekend.
"Would you really not consider talking about my sexual needs?" She asked.
"A threesome is a recipe for disaster, Tamz. I am not sure I can deal with the idea of you with another man."
"And if it was a girl?"
"No, Tamzin. I cannot risk doing something that will pop up in a few years because we were not on the same page. You and I are working towards permanence."
"And if it a one-time thing?"
"Still no."
"Why are you so jealous?" she asked, and I heard a definite tone of frustration.
"I am not, fuck. How is this even an issue, Tamz. You hate the idea of sex outside a monogamous relationship."
"That is not my issue. I am bothered by you taking away my choice."
"I told you that you still have the freedom of choice, Tamzin. Please drop it now, because you are now trying to determine how I should react."
That evening I dropped her at home, as she was not in the mood for my company. I had two book signings the Thursday and Friday, so we did not really talk. Friday evening we had dinner with Michael and Rochelle. The threesome topic was left alone, and I was happy. We had a lot of jokes and laughing, and Tamzin was being very affectionate. Then she dropped the bomb.
"You said I am free to choose, correct?" she stated, rather than asked. I knew what was coming.
"Yes Tamzin, you are free to choose," I replied softly.
"I am going home with Michael and Rochelle, I choose to have a threesome with two friends I trust." I Iooked at Michael and Rochelle, and they were smug.
"Please, Tamzin. Don't," I asked softly.
"I want to try it, baby, just once," she answered, I knew there was no talking her out of it.
"And tomorrow? Where do we stand when we wake up, Tamzin?" I asked, knowing what my decision will be.
"That is up to you, Paddy," she answered, "You will also have a choice."
"Why not talk to me first, fuck? Why not really ask me? We have not had a proper discussion."
"I know what you will answer. Sorry for blindsiding you, Patrick. I love you deeply, but you are taking my freedom if you deny me this."
I got up, kissed her cheek, and walked out without a word after a last look at her face and the irritation on it. I knew, she would either text me to pick her up or come to my apartment. If neither of those things happened within the hour I would not have a girlfriend anymore, that is my choice. She had taken all the good choices off the table.
I did not sleep at all, my heart shattered as her call never came. The sun came up, and I gathered all her stuff that was at my apartment and packed it in cardboard boxes. I then called a locksmith and changed my locks as Tamzin had a key to my place. I drove to her apartment and dropped the boxes with the doorman of her building.
Back at home I called my publisher, and told him to schedule book signings in Seattle, then a few other cities.
"Patrick, can we start with Miami. I have a tentative signing scheduled with a group of authors, and two universities are wanting you as a guest lecturer," He asked me.
"Sure, set it up. I will be in Miami by morning."
He thanked me and I ended the call. I packed a bag, crying softly. I decided to take a taxi to the airport as I could not drive. I wrote some ideas out on the flight to try and distract myself, but they were very dark. It was not material I would use in a book unless I started writing gore. The process was rather cathartic though. My first novel came out of massive emotional trauma when my mother revealed I was not my deceased father's child. The revelation of her infidelity killed him, and I have not heard from her in more than a decade.
Tamzin knew how deeply I felt everything, and she chose to cut me in the deepest way possible, abandoning me for her selfish pleasures. After checking into my hotel I turned my phone on. Tamzin had left almost fifty messages, and as many missed calls. She begged me to not break up with her, that nothing happened, and other promises. Then my phone rang, as she tried calling again. I was in two minds to just block it.
"Tamzin?" I answered, sounding cold.
"What the fuck Patrick, you are breaking up with me. Please baby, it is not what you think."
"You made your decision, now I have made mine."
"Nothing happened Patrick, we had wine, and I slept alone."
"Can you prove it?" I asked.