So, the time's right I try to convince myself for the umpteenth time. My divorce is through and I'm a free woman for the first time in twenty three years. It's time for my celibacy to end, to take a new man into my bed, or his bed or any bed for that matter. The difficulty is that my husband, or now ex-husband is the only man I've been with, and to give myself openly to another is a somewhat scary thought. But I'm ready, I tell myself, to be loved again.
There is no turning back, for tonight I have accepted a date with a man whom I'm physically attracted to, and have been for some time. The man in question dated a friend of mine Claire for a short time a few years back when I was still married, and we had sometimes socialised together as a foursome. The fact that Claire had once told me Nick was a very good lover was not lost on me and her lurid other tit bit comments had lay dormant in my mind ever since, well until now.
I had run into Nick at a charity event a few days back and we got talking about old times. I noticed him look at my left hand where my wedding and engagement rings had once been proudly worn, and during the next few minutes of us catching up he knew I was now single. I smiled at the glint in his eye, for there had always been a little mutual attraction. And later in the night when he asked if I would like to go out for a meal, I hesitated politely before accepting.
What would it be like to be seduced by a new lover I asked myself as I prepared to get ready for our date? Would he even want to seduce me? I smiled to myself as I lay my chosen clothes on my bed, but there was no doubt that he was interested in more than my intellect. Should I even let him seduce me on our first date? But I'm on the wrong side of forty I told myself, and I shouldn't have to play those silly games. Anyway, I wasn't interested in a relationship; I just wanted to get laid. I wasn't actually sick of my well practiced fingers or my battery operated toys, I just needed the touch and feel of a man again. Then more doubts crowded my emotions, would I be any good in bed I asked myself? My ex told me many times I was, but we all know how men lie.
I took off my clothes and stood in front of my full length mirror. I lifted my breasts slightly up to where they used to sit and cursed god for letting me get old. My dark pubs had thinned a little over the years, but didn't look too bad since I'd trimmed the edges earlier that morning. My legs were still good I told myself, long and full with trim ankles and calves. I opened my legs slightly so my lips were exposed and ran a finger over my clit. I considered taking a vibrator to it to take the edge off my excitement, but decided against it. If I was going to orgasm this night, then someone was going to help me.
Stepping forward I looked into the mirror and played face lift games with my manicured fingers, and then cursed god again. Stepping back, I gazed again at my nudity and noticed that my summer tan was beginning to fade.
After showering, I began to dress. I had gone for the casual look, a nice green top displaying just a little cleavage; my jeans were tight showing off curved hips and thighs assisted by sleek high heels. Beneath were matching cream slinky bra and panties. I'd considered black but thought they might be a little sluttish under the circumstances. Keen and interested I confess to be, but certainly not sluttish.
After half an hour in front of the mirror applying my makeup, I was ready. From a bedside drawer I retrieved a packet of condoms which I'd purchased sometime back but never brave enough to use. Well, that's not quite true, for I'd used one on a lucky broom handle as practice. Anyway, I put the remaining two in my handbag just in case.
I met Nick in a bar as arranged but a good old fashioned ten minutes late just to show I wasn't too keen. His face broke into a smile when he noticed me arrive; he pulled out a chair for me and signaled to my favorite cocktail which ready and waiting. He obviously remembered what I was drinking when we last met which I took as a good sign.
We only stayed for a two drinks as the bar became busier and noisier making it difficult to converse, and then made our way to a French restaurant that Nick had booked. It was quiet and intimate and I quickly relaxed in Nick's company.
Nick wasn't a hunk of a guy, but he was still easy on the eye, tall, wide shouldered and dark haired with a smattering of flecks of grey at the sides. His shirt and jeans hugged his frame very nicely. The attraction I think was more about his personality, friendly, outgoing, confident and funny. In other words, he was easy company. His big blue eyes seemed to have their own personality and they almost smiled as we conversed.
The food was delicious and we chatted about all sorts of things as we ate. It was while waiting for dessert that it sort of changed. He gazed over at me and grinned mischievously.
"What?" I asked.
"Well, I never thought there'd be a day when I'd be sitting across the table with you on a date." he commented.
"Me too." I answered. "But here we are. Anyway, you shouldn't have been thinking about dating a married woman."
"I know, but I always had a thing for you, married or not. There's just something about you that's irresistible. I've always liked talking to you whenever we got together. You were like a little magnet to me, married or not."
I smiled graciously, for it felt good to be complimented like this, but I couldn't let him get away with it.
"You sure you don't have a thing about married women and it was my wedding ring that was the magnet?" I asked.
Mick sat back in his chair and put his hand on his heart, "Promise, I've never chased a married woman in my life. And I didn't chase you back then. But now you're single and I still want to chase you, so your theory doesn't stack up."
I smiled again, "Didn't think it would. But the feelings mutual anyway. I've always liked you too, but like a friend. I never was never interested in other men when I was married."
"And now?" he asked coyly.
I shrugged my shoulders, "I'm a free woman and I can do what I want with whom I want."
"I'll drink to that." he said raising his glass to mine. "Actually, I wasn't sure whether you'd date me cause I'd dated Claire."
"It was a long time ago, and I spoke to Claire. She's got no problems."
"What'd she say when you told her we were going out for a date."
"She told me to go for it, that you're nicely hung and great in bed." I replied most innocently.
It was the first time that I'd seen Nick lost for words, and I laughed loudly at his shocked face. Then he started to laugh which set me off again. In seconds we were giggling like two school children. When we finally got ourselves back under control, he asked me what it was like to be single and dating again. His question brought up all my emotions and it took a few seconds for me to answer.
"Scary." was my first comment as I began counting off my fears on my fingers. "Fear of rejection, not attractive enough, too fat, too old, not being good enough between the sheets to please a new partner. The list is long."
Nick thought about his reply, "I can understand the rejection thing, but not being desirable is a load of bollocks. You're one very attractive and desirable lady. Don't understand about the not being good in bed thing, what's that all about?"
I looked around the restaurant making sure that we couldn't be overheard. "Cause I've only slept with my ex Tony. So it's a big thing for me to climb into bed with someone else. It might not be for other women, but it's all a new start for me. It's different for guys, I mean how many partners have you had?"
Mick refused to answer that which surprised me, most men like to brag about their conquests, he just gazed across the table at me for a few seconds.
"Do you like sex?" he asked.
This time I hesitated before answering, "Sure I do, or did cause it's been a long time since I've done it. It's just that I'm real nervous about doing it with someone else. Probably chicken out at the last moment."
Nick leaned across the table, "Well I think you'd be hot in bed." he whispered. "So I'm going to invite you back to my place with the sole intention of seducing you. If you do come, you can say no whenever you want, but I intend to give you the best sex you've ever had."
I was sort of shocked at Nick's proposal, not because I didn't think it was his intention in the first place, but because he was so open and honest about the whole thing. The fact that I knew and liked him convinced me that I didn't exactly need to slap his face. Anyway, wasn't this exactly what I wanted, I reminded myself?
"I've got clean sheets too." he offered with humour as I contemplated his offer.
"Okay." I heard myself whisper as I gazed back into his eyes. "I'll go home with you, but take it slowly, okay?"
