To everyone else she was a miserable old cow, the old woman that sat in a chair behind the lace curtains of her front room, watching the world pass her by, but to me she was the woman who saved my life.
That she wasn't what her exterior told the rest of the world, was indicated by her cat that sat on her lap whenever she took up her position in her front room. Cats simply do not tolerate miserable old women, she was more than a convenient lap for her cat to occupy for hours at a time, she patted Randolph and he purred his appreciation and contentment.
Granny provided me with accommodation while I worked my way towards a degree in Environmental Science. My father objected to my choice of degree, it could have something to do with his company's attempt to destroy the country with its fracking projects. This had led to some heated arguments between us. His final decree on the subject was to tell me that I would not receive any financial support from him, and I could find somewhere else to live if I intended to pursue that degree.
Granny stepped in and invited me to live with her for the duration.
At first I was hesitant, after all I had, for reasons that became obvious once I'd moved in, little contact with her up to that time. There was something going on between my father and his mother and I meant to find out about it.
"What's going on between you and Dad?" I asked not long after moving in with her.
"My dear, you do not want to hear your Granny swear do you? You are not ready for me to release the skeletons of my relationship with your father from where they are hidden." I left it at that, at least for the time being.
Granny surprised me. I had moved my stuff in, and was in the process of setting up my computer. "Granny, I'll need for you to have the internet so that I can do my research and submit my assignments. I'll help you set it up once you have connected to the NBN."
She took a pen and scribbled something on a page of a notebook that she had in her pocket. "That's the WAP key for my WiFi connection. You just click on the WiFi symbol on the task bar and type that in when prompted."
"What?"
"Don't stand there with your mouth open, I live in this world of technology the same as you, why should this come as a surprise to you?"
"But, but, I don't know, all the oldies I know wouldn't know what a computer is."
"Step aside, let me show you." She switched on my computer and when it had booted up, she attacked the keyboard and mouse with a speed that I found impossible to believe, and in a matter of seconds my internet connection had been established. "Come with me." She led the way to a room at the back of the house that turned out to be her office where she had her computer set up.
"What, why, this is something that I didn't expect."
"I might be and old fart, but I'm not dead yet. I have an insatiable desire to keep abreast of what is happening in the world. I don't spend all of my time watching the world go by. I need to keep track of my investments, you never know when I might need the money."
"If you don't mind me asking, how much money do you have?"
"More than enough, that's all you need to know. I have set up a fund to cover your tuition, so you don't have to repay any of the cost."
"But, I'm confused. To look at this house you'd think that you don't have enough money for routine maintenance."
"That's the outside, the bit that the world, and your father sees. I bet that he's hoping that I'll struggle with the cost of keeping you here."
"But isn't that counter-productive? After all I assume that he's going to inherit the place when you die."
"In his dreams." She left it at that and didn't say more.
I had unpacked my clothes and books and was seated on my bed taking stock of my situation. Here I was, Sinnead McDermott, all of eighteen, just, recently graduated from high school and heading for university to get the qualifications that I'd need to save the world from arseholes like my father. I have never met a man so self-centred, so tunnel-visioned when it comes to his work, that he had no time for the less important things in his world, like my mother, or me for that matter. His treatment of my mother bordered on neglect, she has to beg him for money when she needs to buy new clothes, not because they are out of fashion, but because they have worn out. When it comes to spending on himself, he has no such qualms, it doesn't matter how much it costs, he has the money for that. I used to have to beg for the money to buy text books and pens and stuff.
It all came to a head last year when she eventually got him to allow her to see her doctor. She had been telling him for ages that there was something wrong, she was in constant pain and found it difficult to sleep. That they was sleeping in separate beds meant that her tossing and turning had not disturbed his sleep. She was diagnosed with an advanced and aggressive cancer that could have been cured if caught in time. His reasoning revolved around the fact that the doctor's visit was going to cost him money. His reaction, on discovering the extent of her situation, did nothing to improve their relationship, or mine. He raved on about the cost of palliative care and the fact that her carers thought that he should have provided them with meals, an add-on to the cost of her care.
Finally, she had decided that enough was enough. It was while he was visiting the latest fracking site that she 'borrowed' his new Mercedes and drove it at high speed through the guard rail at a lookout, plummeting some fifty metres into the sea.
The police arrived and told me about it. "It would appear as if she took her own life."
"Why would you think that?" The sarcasm was lost on them. The news hadn't come as a surprise to me, I knew that her condition was terminal and that she was planning something spectacular. I was in no way inclined to stop her.
"Do you mind if we have a look, we expect that she would have left a note."
I took them to her room, there was no sign of a note there, I then took them to his office. There, propped against his monitor, was an envelope, written on it with a Sharpie, 'TAKE THAT YOU MISERABLE BASTARD'. Inside were several typewritten pages. The police took the papers with them so I didn't get to read what she had written.
"I think that we need to speak with your father."
"Good luck with that, you'll have to contact his office and get them to relay a message to him. They know the number of his satellite phone, he refused to tell my mother, or me, what it is. He's somewhere up North."
At first I thought that she was just thinking of herself when she took her own life, but no, the driving force was revenge, revenge for her lifetime of subservience to the self obsessed person that was, is, my father.
My father became insufferable when the police contacted him. He attempted to coerce me into giving evidence to the Coroner that his life with her had been perfect in every way.
I refused and the document that she left was presented in evidence at the Coronal hearing.
The first witness at the hearing was the Forensic Pathologist. "Death was consistent with the trauma caused when the vehicle that she was driving impacted with the water. She was not wearing a seat-belt at the time and the deployment of the airbag striking her forehead caused a fracture of the C1 and C2 vertebra resulting in the severing of the spinal chord. There was a secondary impact caused by her being forced past the airbag and striking the windscreen. Toxicology showed a level of pain medication consistent with her advance Carcinoma. The was no evidence of alcohol or recreational drugs present in her system. My assessment is that the victim was in full control of her faculties and that her actions were premeditated."
The next witness was the person that examined the wreckage of the Mercedes. "This vehicle was in perfect working order. The condition of the braking system was indicative of a well maintained vehicle, as was the steering and suspension. The tyres were, according to the sticker on the windscreen, less than one thousand kilometres old and were a high performance road tyre. All four tyres were inflated in accordance with the manufacturers recommendations. This would indicate that vehicle malfunction was not the cause of this incident."
The court appointed Forensic Psychologist was next to give evidence. "My initial assumption was that the victim chose to end her life when the pain associated with her illness had become to much for her to bear. But, on reading the suicide note and the attached documentation, I am now of the opinion that, while pain was a motivating factor, it was not the not the driving force behind her actions. The attached documents indicate that revenge was the strongest motive. Revenge against her husband for his, as she described it, the most degrading humiliation of her over a period of twenty years. That she wanted to end her life in this fashion was to draw attention to the continual abuse by her husband and which, she had observed, was now being applied also to her daughter, Sinnead. In this way she decided, she could free her daughter from being subjected to a similar fate."
"Mister McDermott, I do not normally read the contents of documents associated with a suicide, in your case I find it necessary."
"Your Honour I object most strongly."
"Mister McDermott, I am of the opinion that it was your continued treatment, or in this case mistreatment, of your wife that was directly responsible for her taking her own life in this dramatic manner." He began to read; 'If you are reading this it is because I have reached the decision that I can no longer live as I have been. I am taking my own life. My marriage to Thomas McDermott has, for the past twenty years, been one that I can no longer bear. I have been subjected to the most degrading humiliation and abuse, and the only reason that I endured it for as long as I have was to protect my daughter Sinnead. I use the term 'my daughter' deliberately for he had a very minimal input into her life. She has been subjected to, in a small way, the same deprivations as have I, having to beg for the money to purchase books and office supplies that she needed to pursue her studies.
In the attached documentation I have outlined in detailed the suffering I have endured at the hands of this self-absorbed person who thought only of himself with no concept of the suffering that I and my daughter have had to endure.
1. All money that I used to purchase food for our family had to be accounted for. I was allowed no financial autonomy.
2. Wherever possible I was to purchase generic food items and, if none were available, I was to buy the cheapest and those on special.
3. I have recently discovered that whenever he and his PA have lunch it is at a five star restaurant and only the best, most expensive wine is drunk.
4. I was not allowed to purchase new clothes until the existing were no longer wearable, except in the case of clothes to wear to any function where I was to accompany him.
5. In the case where he purchased something that he thought that I needed, his expectation was for me to thank him, regardless of whether I ever used the item or even needed it.
