I was walking back from the hospital to my apartment. I had recently qualified as a doctor and now I was working all hours of the day.
It is every parents dream that their child becomes a doctor but they never think of the work that goes into being a doctor. There was a routine that came with people working 9-5 but being a doctor meant working crazy hours.
I had just finished a 20 hour shift and I was walking to my apartment which was a couple of blocks away from the hospital. As I walked along the dark streets lit by street lamps I had this unnerving sense that I was being followed. My body was telling me something was not right but every time I looked around I saw nothing out of the ordinary.
The night was filled with extraordinary highs and heartbreaking lows. I had saved the life of a man that was bleeding out from a gunshot wound. Saving a life is the ultimate win for a doctor but it soon becomes just part of the job. Tonight a patient came in suffering from a heart attack. I tried everything but unfortunately his frail condition meant there was nothing more I could do. The heartbreaking part is talking to the families and breaking the news.
As I reached my apartment that unnerving feeling did not leave me. I finally got into bed and I rolled around just feeling the sheets and the comfort of the bed. After a long shift there was nothing better than this. I had to be up in 8 hours as my next shift started before I could really relax. There were days where I did not even get time to eat as I was constantly doing rounds.
The next few days I had that similar feeling that someone was following me. I was talking to Imran who was the Senior Consultant and he said, "Sangheeta you really should buy a car. The hospital is where we work but it is not a nice part of town."
He was my senior and he was guiding me through on my journey. He had climbed up quickly and I only estimated he was late 20's or early 30's. I thought about buying a car but I did not like spending money on myself as I was sending money back to my mother in India. My mother was a widow and our father had left us penniless. My mother had sold her jeweler and property to send me to study abroad so I would not have to live her life. I have ever since been sending her money to try and repay her.
On my next shift Imran asked me if I had bought a car but I told him, "I cannot afford to spend money on luxuries. My mother is not well and I need to send whatever money I make to look after. She sacrificed a lot for me. Selling anything she could to send me to study. Now I must pay her back."
I was getting emotional and he put his hand on my shoulder, "What about your father?"
I told him, "I never met my father. He died before I was born."
He squeezed my shoulder and pulled me into a much needed embrace. I struggled to connect with people and my long hours meant I could not socialize much or meet friends. My social life was orientated around work and it was the only place I interacted with people.
I was sharing the apartment with Ashanti but I rarely saw her as we lived separate lives. She was a lawyer and had a regular routine but I worked at all hours of the day.
I had that same feeling on my walk home of being followed but I could not see anyone and I put it down to my own paranoia. It still made me feel uneasy and I called my mother to try and distract myself. It was always difficult to call my mother due to the time difference and I would try to make time on the way back from work or during a break.
The next day at work I was watching over a patient with a broken arm when Imran called me into his office. We had a friendly relationship but he was also my supervisor and there was always a concern that he may have an issue with my work. He said, "I have beam thinking of what you said yesterday and I want to help you. It is just a small gesture."
He slid across his desk a set of car keys. I looked at him a little confused, "What is this?"
He seemed concerned, "I don't want you to feel unsafe working here. It is nothing special. Just something to get you home and to work."
I was never one to accept charity, "I cannot take this. I just feel uncomfortable with such a gift."
He put his hand over mine and said, "Sangheeta, I am not some stranger, you are my friend and I want to look after you."
I knew I should not accept as I was taking advantage of his generosity but I had been feeling unsafe recently and reluctantly agreed, "Thank you so much. I promise I will pay you back once I qualify."
Imran showed me how the car works as it was slightly different to the car I had trained on. I felt a lot more comfortable driving around and it also saved me a lot of time that I spent walking or waiting for a bus.
Shanti asked me about the car, "Are you driving a car now? You never told me."
I did not think of it being a big deal, "A friend gave it to me at work after I told him about my troubles getting to and from work."
Shanti seemed concerned, "A friend? That is $20,000 car. No friend simply buys a car that expensive. Are you dating someone?"
She joined me on the couch as she came in from the open plan kitchen. I was shocked at the cost, "I did not know the cost. It was Imran. We are just friends and he is my supervisor."
Shanti looked worried and went into overprotective mode, "No one gives a gift that expensive without expecting something in return. You are free Friday night right? I want to meet this Imran and understand his intentions."
I had a rare Friday off, "I am free this Friday but Imran is just nice."
She slapped my leg and said, "That is final. Invite him to a party on Friday and I will invite some friends."
The next day at work I asked Imran, "You did not tell me the car was so expensive. I feel so silly that the car is so expensive."
He seemed oblivious that the cost would be an issue, "It was my spare car. I am sorry I did not think about the price. I had a spare car and you needed a car. I can be silly sometimes and not think about money in the same way as others."
I would never be able to pay that, "I can never pay back that amount to you. I don't want to keep it."
He came around and put his hand on my arm, "I don't want you to pay me for it. Keep it for as long as you need it. Return it when you don't need it and you buy your own. Friends help each other and money should not be a problem between friends."
He was just being a friend and I was letting Shanti get into my head, "Ok. I am sorry for being silly. My flat mate is having a small party. I would like it if you also came as I will not have many friends there."
