Authors Note: Welcome to my submission for the Valentine 2025 Contest. Some of the characters may feel familiar from my previous work, but this is very much a stand-alone piece that can be read on its own. I hope you enjoy it.
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I woke up on New Year's Day feeling off. I knew I was probably still in a funk from my mother's relentless questioning about when I was finally going to settle down. Now that I was 36, she deemed it high time I found myself a wife and gave up my bachelorhood. It didn't help that my younger brother George had used Christmas dinner to announce that he and his long-term girlfriend Charlotte were engaged.
Adding further fuel to my mother's campaign was that all of my friends were married with kids or in long-term relationships. I was happy and didn't see the need to compare myself to them. I had a solid career as the sales manager for a high-end car dealership in a posh part of suburban Oxford, and I owned my own house not far away. Well, the bank still owned half of it, but I was working on that. I was in decent shape from visiting the gym 4 times a week, and when I did decide to go out, I typically did well for myself in finding female company.
"But they never last, do they Harry?" My brain argued.
My brain wasn't wrong. My relationships typically didn't last. The longest one had been for a year, and even then, it had really been over after nine months. We stumbled to the end, waiting for the other to be the one to call it quits, neither of us wanting to take responsibility for the end of another relationship.
The girls in my friend group, Sarah and Mandy, teased me, calling me a serial dater and a womaniser. I could see their point, but it wasn't really like that. I was very open to the idea of finding someone to settle down with; I just hadn't found that person who made me want to take the plunge.
Pushing those thoughts out of my head, I went to make some coffee and start on my New Year's list. I wasn't a big one for resolutions, but I liked starting the year with a list of goals. As I waited for the coffee to brew and tried to arrange my goals and ideas for the year, my mother's voice kept on intruding.
"I mean, really, Harry, at this rate, the only way I'm going to get a grandchild out of you is if you knock up a one-night stand," Mum said after I made another comment about how I was in no rush. "Seriously, if you wait much longer, you're going to be the weird older Dad when your kids get to school," she had continued.
I had thought about telling her that maybe I didn't want to be a father, but the truth was, a part of me did. I had spent the better part of a decade watching my friends enjoy being parents, and I wondered if maybe I was missing out. I loved being 'Uncle Harry' and playing with the kids at our regular get-togethers. I also enjoyed the fact that I wasn't responsible during the tantrums, or when the day was over, I could take a break and go home.
As I poured my coffee, I thought about my friends' evolution to parents. These had the people I used to go out drinking with at least once a week and often more. But seemingly overnight, they had settled down and moved on. Mandy and Adam had gotten married, Mike and Sarah, Penny had moved to Botswana, and Beth had moved to London until just Tom and I remained. Then Tom had met a nice girl in the last year, and if Mandy and Sarah were to believe Jackie would be a permanent addition to our group before long.
Again, I cleared my head and settled down at my table to begin writing out my goals for the year. Some were fairly easy, especially the career ones. I already knew my health and fitness one: I was going to run a half marathon with a view to running a full marathon afterwards. It was only when I got to my personal goals that I drew a blank. Not wanting to go down that rabbit hole again, I got up and began getting ready to head out.
Mike and Sarah were hosting an afternoon get-together so their kids could have some New Year's fun. It was just a bonfire in the garden, but since none of the kids were allowed to stay up until midnight, this was their compromise.
Facing the cold January air, I briefly thought about going back inside and ordering a taxi but stopped myself, thinking the walk wasn't that far and it would do me some good to clear my head before I had to be sociable. As I made the walk, I allowed myself to contemplate why my relationships always failed. They were always fun to begin with: the initial excitement, the dating and getting to know each other, the thrill of sex with a new person. But that always faded, and I had never learned to keep the spark alive. Once the fancy dates and the need to impress each other fell away, I just lost interest.
The others would say it wasn't about fancy dates or impressing each other but finding the person you were just happy to be around without trying. Watching them, I could see the way Mandy and Adam intrinsically knew what the other was thinking or the way Mike and Sarah were seemingly connected by an invisible rope, never far from each other, mentally or physically. But I needed the thrill, the excitement. I wanted the show, paying for dinner at the best restaurants and weekends away, but after a while, they weren't enough, and I just couldn't keep the relationship alive without them.
A cold gust of wind hit me just as I turned onto Mike and Sarah's road, bringing me back into the present.
"Only Mike could plan an outdoor party in January," I thought to myself as I walked up their drive to knock on the door.
"Harry," Sarah smiled, opening the door for me. Come in. It's freezing. Why I let Mike plan these things, I'll never know."
"Cos it keeps him out of your kitchen while you gossip with your co-conspirators?" I replied rhetorically, stepping in and bending down to kiss her cheek before passing her the bottles of wine I had brought as an offering.
"Harry, you shouldn't have," she said, accepting the wine. "We have enough booze on the property without you adding to the stockpile."
"I wouldn't want to let Mike's nightmare of running out come true," I said, following her through to the kitchen.
"Come on, you know the rules, say your hellos to girls, then fuck off outside and join the rest of the men."
At one point, I was enamoured with Sarah. She had been the new girl in our group, and when Mandy introduced us, I thought she was the prettiest girl I had ever seen, which was quite an achievement in our group of friends. Typically, in order to protect her friend, Mandy warned Tom and me to stay away from her. That lasted for 15 minutes until Mike arrived, and Sarah set eyes on him. But she was and still is this incredibly beautiful human being who's become the most wonderful friend. They are the reason I believe love at first sight is possible.
Knowing the rules, I quickly made my way around the kitchen, sharing hugs and kisses on the cheek with the ladies who made up our strange family of friends before helping myself to a beer and heading outside into the cold. It was a pretty typical scene: the five kids in attendance running around the garden while Mike and the other chaps huddled around one of the outdoor heaters discussing whatever topic had been decided on that day.
"All right, H?" Mike asked, making room for me in the circle. "Good Christmas?"
"It was all right, cheers. Mum sends her love to you all," I replied, clinking my bottle against his and falling into a conversation about the latest football scores.
"You think Sarah would let me get an outdoor TV so we could actually watch the games when she expels us from the house?" Mike asked.
"I think she gave up trying to stop you from building your perfect outdoor entertaining space years ago," Adam replied, laughing. "Now, when are you going to build this fire? These heaters are great, but we need something more powerful if your wife won't let us inside."
I watched as Mike took over corralling the kids around him and conscripting them into helping him build the fire. It was so simple listening to him explain the type of fire they were building and the help he needed. It wasn't just the boys but the girls too, all with the jobs from collecting wood from the store to help him build the log pile that would become the fire. Even though I had seen it before, it still amazed me to watch the guy who had once set and still owned the record for most pints of beer consumed in a day at our local pub become 'super dad'. He included Mandy and Adam's pair, not just his own trio.
I watched Mike show Adam's son, Aiden, how to use a lighter safely before he put a fire starter between some tongs so Aiden could light it for him.
"You okay with him doing that?" I asked Adam quietly.
"Of course," Adam replied easily. "Mike's the only one us with any real outdoor skills; if Aiden doesn't learn from him, who's going to teach him? Anyway, we both know Mandy will kill him if anything happens to our kids."
As I watched the scene play out, I wondered if Adam would be as free with his trust if I'd been the one in Mike's place or if it was the sort of trust that was only shared between parents. I knew they had some level of trust in me. I had babysat all the kids at one point or another and taken them on little adventures, but those had always come with strict instructions and rules. Mike hadn't asked if it was okay to teach Aiden how to light a fire; he had just done it, knowing Adam and Mandy's absolute trust in him.
As the fire roared into action, I helped set up chairs around the fire pit while Mandy and Sarah took the kids inside to have their lunch. There were a few complaints, but those quickly ended with threats that there would be 'no marshmallows' for dessert and definitely 'no sleepover party' if they didn't listen. It seemed so effortless to them, and I just couldn't see myself having the same power or authority. I didn't understand how my drinking buddies had become these people, and I had witnessed most of the transition.
"I hope you're hungry, mate. I've got a lamb curry slow cooking," Mike said, catching my attention.
If one thing was true about the Smith house, you never left hungry; if the kids weren't around, you rarely left sober. Mike never seemed happier than when he was feeding large groups of people before proceeding to drink them under the table with seemingly little effort.
Slowly, the fire settled, and the kids, having been fed, came out to roast their marshmallows while the adults idly caught up over what they had got up to over the Christmas break. I purposely didn't contribute much, not wanting to get into Mum's campaign or me to find a partner and settle down. While the ladies weren't so blunt about it, I knew, given the opportunity, they would happily join Mum's cause. It would come out eventually; Mandy and Sarah were like bloodhounds when it came to looking after their friends. They would get it out of me before the day was over, but I could put them off for a while.
Slowly, the day came to an end. Mike stoked the fire one more time before going inside to set up the air mattresses for the kids' sleepover party. Once the kids were settled, Mike came back with a bottle of brandy. He poured everyone a drink before Mandy turned her attention to me.
