Today is, no--would have been, my tenth wedding anniversary. At the moment, the divorce is pending; it won't be finalized until January. I guess I am on hold, or maybe in limbo? I don't know how I should be feeling, I started tearing up when I asked my soon-to-be-ex if he realized what today was. It took him a second, but he remembered. He leaned down, kissed my forehead, and half hugged me.
I wanted to scream! I wanted to break something! For ten years I have celebrated special occasions with this man. Today is a regular day for the first time in ten years. I hate this, I don't know how long it will take me to get used to the current situation.
I knew I was not going to deal with today well. I didn't want to be in the house alone all evening. The other option was to call a friend and explain the sordid story, exposing a weakness. Like hell if I was going to do that.
As it turned out, a friend called me, asking if I wanted some company for a few hours. I jumped all over having company. It solved my problem, and I didn't have to get emotional about it.
My friend showed up around 6:30 p.m. I had already fed the kids and had them settled down upstairs with a movie rental before bed. I invited him in, and we wandered into the living room, getting comfortable on the couches.
He started telling me about his day, injecting comments to make me laugh. After his long diatribe of his day, he sighed, and then blurted out that he could really use some Jack Daniels and a blow job. I looked up quickly, and burst out laughing. He laughed with me.
An idea formed in my head. I had some Jack Daniels in the freezer.
I sauntered into the kitchen, grabbed the bottle from the freezer, and walked back into the living room with a shit-eating grin on my face. A grin formed on his face as well. I sat back down on the couch opposite him, put the bottle on the coffee table, grabbed the television remote, and started to flip channels, ignoring him and the bottle.