A Linda Christmas

Chapter One

I got home from work last Wednesday and the light was flashing on the machine. Probably someone who wanted to know when I was going to make my overdue payment. The voice was hesitant, but that Chicago accent was definitely Linda's. She wanted to know if I was cousin Pete, said she didn't want to go into anything on the machine, but if it was me, she needed me to call her as soon as possible. She was in a motel in Anaheim, 35 miles south of me.

I called, the number she left was for the office. There were no phones in the rooms; I had to leave a number for Linda to call back. I left my toll free office number. What the hell, it rings on the only line I have in the house.

About 2 hours later, Linda called me. The motel manager had just given her the message. When I told her I called a couple of hours earlier, she told me when she found out what an asshole he was, it was too late to do anything about it.

She didn't want to go into a lot of detail calling from the pay phone outside the office. She had made her way to California from Texas, didn't have much money and was in a jam. Was there any way I could help her?

I started working on my house a few months ago and then dropped it. I've got one bedroom with a beautiful new coat of paint, the carpet torn up, and 1/5 of the floor covered in hardwood planks. The furniture that was in that room is part in the spare bedroom and part in the living room. I've got two couches in the living room that are so close together there's no place to sit. The spare room also has a bunch of stuff I inherited from Mom and never got around to doing anything with.

I told Linda she was welcome but she'd have to share my king size water bed with me. "Don't worry, you'll be safe." She laughed and told me she wasn't worried.

I told her I could get there in 45 minutes or so. She said she'd be waiting.

After quick visits to MapQuest and the bathroom, I left. I spent the drive thinking about Linda. I don't rmember when we met. I'm 53, she must be 48 or 49 by now. She's my cousin, but her mother (Dad's sister) moved from Long Island to a suburb of Chicago just after she got married. We either met when they came out to Long Island to see Grandma and Grandpa and us or when G & G took me to Chicago one summer. It seems like I've always known her. We've always been friends, we start teasing each other every time we meet, but I can honestly only count 6 or 7 times I've seen her, each one of them for two weeks or less. Even though we were first cousins, she could have hauled my ass into bed in a heartbeat. I had too much "respect" for her to ever suggest such a thing, even though I prayed for it. Ever since puberty, I was constantly on edge every second she was around. I probably had a hard on when we danced at her wedding.

I hadn't seen her since she got married. God, that must be almost 20 years ago. I think I was dating my ex wife at the time, we were moving from city to city every few months, working for a con artist (we found out later). I know I went there from Indiana and met my Mom and my sister there. Linda had a son from a previous relationship. He must have been 9 or 10. She'd been struggling to get out of the doghouse since she got pregnant, I think the marriage was going to get her back in her family's good graces.

I didn't see anyone but Linda treating Scotty with any respect, especially his future stepfather. After the wedding they took off for Texas and I went back to Indiana. When I got back home, my girl asked what I thought of him. I told her there was something not right, I wouldn't be surprised if he beat her.

Linda has never been much to look at. She was a skinny kid, she's a skinny woman. She has nipples, maybe a little more for tits. Her ass could probably fit in my hand, she probably never hit 100 on the scale. But she has this beautiful deep, dark red hair you can get lost in. And freckles I could spend the rest of my life counting. She's the person "But she's got a great personality" was designed for.

Because, after a couple of minutes with Linda, none of that mattered. She'd have me entranced from the time I'd sit down with her. She had a way of breaking into a smile that caught me right where I lived. She could also tear you a new asshole at the drop of a hat, no matter who you were. I'm glad I never experienced that firsthand. I could tease the hell out of her, but it was always done with love, and I guess that made the difference.

I pulled into the motel parking lot. What a dump. The cockroaches probably had fleas. Even my twelve year old Aerostar was too good for this place.

I spotted Linda as soon as I looked around the parking lot. She was leaning up against a wall next to a Coke machine. Her jeans were ripped at both knees and elsewhere, most of her white t-shirt was a shade of tan. If she had been a dog I would have checked her paws to see if they were raw from walking.

I honked and she looked at me through the windshield. A look came over her face like a dog that's been caught doing something it's been told not to do countless times. I was going to have to stop these dog comparisons.

She came over and opened the passenger door, sat down and dropped a worn out khaki backpack on the floor between the seats. "Don't you have a real car?"

"Don't you have any real luggage?"

"OK. You got me."

"I would have gotten out to open the door but I was afraid I'd get mugged. You've been staying at this place?"

"No. I ran out of money and my ride dropped me off here. I made a deal with the manager. He let me give out his number for callbacks. Each message he gave me cost five bucks. Thank God I was able to reach you."

"When's the last time you slept?"

"Yesterday, a couple of naps in the car."

"What about food?"

"Dinner at 7-11 last night."

"How about a bath?"

"I'd love one." I finally got that smile.

"OK. We'll get you a bath, some food and I'll let you sleep. Tonight only. But first you gotta pay up. Give me a hug."

We leaned over towards each other. It was kind of tough sitting on either side of the van. I think our shoulders touched as we wrapped our arms together.

"Linda, you don't know how I've missed that the last 20 years."

She raised her head and gave me a kiss. A little moist, promising. Come to think of it, like the kiss she gave me on her wedding day, the last time I saw her. Today, as then, my dick got a little firmer.

Chapter Two

I glanced down at Linda's backpack.

"Are you ready to go?"

"You better believe it."

I pulled out of the parking lot and turned right.

"How about some In-N-Out?"

"You could at least take me home first."

"Oh, I forgot. You're from Texas. If you get hungry you just go outside and shoot something. In-N-Out makes the best burgers around."

She stuck her tongue out at me.

"Don't stick that thing out unless you're prepared to use it."

Her eyes lit up as she stuck it out again.

"So, what about food?"

"God, I could eat a horse."

"I'm not even going to say it."

We drove a couple of minutes in silence, then turned into the drive through. "I'm going to have a Double-Double and a chocolate shake. What do you want?"

"Can I have one of the combos with a strawberry shake?'

"Strawberry. God, what a GIRL."

Again with the tongue. I placed the order.

"I'm ready whenever you want to tell me what's going on."

"I know. Can you give me just a little time?"

"I will. I just want to know – Are you OK?"

"I'll be fine. I just need to catch up on food and sleep. And give me a bath."

We got our food and started towards home. We ate in silence, occasionally catching each other's eye and smiling. I thought back on the times I saw my Dad interacting with his sister, Linda's mother. It didn't matter how many years they were apart, they would just pick up where they left off. The same teasing, same respect and same love Linda and I seemed to share. Looking back, there may have been something more, too. On both their parts. A little sparkle in their eyes when they looked at each other.

Linda ate the same as she did when she was a kid. The French fries went in minutes. She did pretty well with the shake but said she was done after two bites of the burger.

I finished off her burger and shook my head. Forty or so years ago our family and Linda's had been eating lunch. I asked my father why we had to finish everything on our plates but my cousins could leave half their food untouched. He shook his head, smiled to himself and told me there were some things you couldn't force a woman to do. Aunt Alice smiled, looked at him and said "You got that right, Brother."

I looked over at Linda with that bright red mane of hair. Like her mother before her, Linda was an untamed mare. And she'd die before she allowed herself to be broken.

"How's Scotty doing?"

She looked as if she'd been slapped. "You didn't hear?"

"I haven't seen or heard anything about him since the wedding."

"Scotty killed himself 15 years ago."

I was on the verge of saying "You're kidding." But no mother would ever kid like that about her child.

There was a tear coming out of her eye.

"Linda. I don't know what to say ... "

"There's a lot you need to know, Cousin. Just let me get a good night's sleep and we'll talk. Do you have to work tomorrow?"

"Not now."

"Don't lose money on my account."

"I've got two guys working for me. They can handle things for a day or two."

"OK. I promise we'll talk tomorrow. Now what's this about me having to sleep with you?"

I told her how I finally took a look at the house and saw how filthy it had become after 18 years, started fixing it up and never got around to finishing the job.

"The kitchen, bathrooms and my room are fine. Any comments from you about the rest of the house and I'll take you back to your motel and you can stay there."

"I'll be good."

"Good. Who knows. If you spend any time at all here, I'll probably put you to work finishing up the renovations."

"Either that or I could give you my cute, innocent little, virgin body."

"Where's that – in the backpack?

I was able to avoid the punch. At least she was smiling.

God. What else was I going to find out when she opened up to me tomorrow?

We were quiet and looked at the Christmas lights the last ten miles home. Monday night, Christmas was Saturday. My favorite was the Caterpiller dealer next to the freeway. Santa was sitting in one of the big tractors with his bag of goodies, there was a string of reindeer going up a ramp as if they were just taking off. Everything was covered in white lights. Good old Southern California. Leave it to us to turn an earth mover into a sleigh.

Chapter Three

I pulled up into the driveway and looked over at Linda. "Honey, I'm home."

She grabbed her backpack before I could. I unlocked the front door and turned on the light. I pointed to the right and said "That used to be the office."

"Used to be?"

"You're not the only one with secrets, little lady. I'll tell you while I'm giving you your bath if you want."

"I'd like that." We walked into the living room.

"There's the couch that makes into a bed that you'd be sleeping on if it was reachable. There's no way I can open it up with the other couch in here. That's my desk and work computer."

I showed her the rest of the house. She was impressed with the way the first bedroom looked with the new paint and part of a floor. "We need to get you back on this. What a difference."

When we got to my room she looked at the big water bed. "Am I going to be taking someone's place while I'm here?"

"Yeah, right. Do you want to take a shower or a bath?"

"I'd kill for a bath."

"No need for that. I'll start running the water. How about a cup of coffee?"

"Make the bath as hot as you can. Do you have any flavored tea?"

I showed her the part of the cupboard where I put the crap I never use. "I know there's regular tea up there. Gloria may have left something when she moved out. There's a tea kettle in that closet you can boil some water in. Cups are in here."

I left her and started running water in the tub. I went into my room and Linda had just dumped her backpack on the bed. She dug through her stuff and picked up one of those leather holders that a full pack of cigarettes will fit in. I'd never figured out why she just didn't throw a pack of cigarettes in her purse without the holder. She pulled out a cigarette, put it in her mouth and pulled a Bic lighter up to it.

"Uh, Uh."

"What?"

"No smoking in the house."

"Really? You used to always have a cigarette going, no matter where you were. We used to talk about how bad you had the habit. My sisters even had a pool going about how long you were going to last in the church during the wedding." She was putting her stuff back in the backpack as she talked.

"That's one of the reasons the walls are so filthy. I quit smoking when Rob Reiner decided we should tax people an extra buck a pack 'for the children.' I never believed in giving over active kids psyche drugs."

She jumped a little at that. She put the cigarette back in its case. "I'll just have to go outside in the cold and get pnemonia after my bath."

"If you want to smoke that cigarette you will."

The kettle started screaming before her nicotine withdrawal could make her start begging or hitting me. She ran into the kitchen and started making some weird tea – Happy Time or something like that. I followed her in as she was putting water in the cup with the teabag.

"I really need a cigarette right now. Did you mean it about not in the house?"

"Yep. Come on, Linda. This is beautiful Southern California. It's not going to kill you to go out on the patio to smoke your cigarette."

I opened the back door for her and we went out back. She said she wished she could give up smoking. I told her when she really wanted to end it, it wouldn't be a problem. She looked at me like I was crazy.

"Hey Linda." I grabbed her cigarette. "Do you really think this stupid thing is stronger than you?"

"I never looked at it, but I think it probably is."

"Well, when you're ready you'll decide it's not. And then you'll be able to put it down and walk away. How much do you smoke?"

"I go through 2 packs every 3 days or so."

"Well, I was at 3 packs a day after 25 years at it. When I decided it was over, it was over. I'd bought 10 cartons on special when the price went up the first 50 cents. I decided that was it, finished off the 7 or 8 cartons I had left, then stopped. I reached for my pocket every few minutes for a couple of days, but I've never had to have a cigarette since then."

"I don't think I could do that."

"Linda, I know you. You can do anything you set your mind to."

"I don't know. Maybe you'll feel different after we talk tomorrow."

"Don't count on it. I know you too well. Even though I don't really know you at all. By the way, should I be worried about the police banging on my door?"

"What do you mean?"

"Linda, I may need reading glasses, but I'm not blind. I saw the gun you dropped on my bed when you were trying to find your cigarettes. Do I need to know anything?"

"No. The only time I used it was when the shop that sold it to me put me through training. Having it with me gave me the courage I needed to get away from my husband. I'm actually glad you saw it. It felt really weird hiding it from you. Jesus, this is crazy. It's less than a week before Christmas. There should be fucking snow on the ground."

She put the cigarette out, picked up her tea, went into the bathroom and turned off the water.

Linda was one of the strongest people I had ever known and I loved her. But what the hell had she been up to in the last 20 years?

Chapter Four

I got a towel and washcloth from the hall closet and took them in to her. The door was open so I just breezed in. I was surprised to see her sitting on the toilet.

"I'm sorry. The door was open."

"It's no big deal. It's not like you can see anything."

I put the bundle on the counter next to the sink. "I never use this bathroom. I'll get you some body wash and some shampoo."

I went into my bathroom and got the items out of my shower. I also checked under the sink and found a blow dryer and a back brush.

As I came near her bathroom I called out "Are you decent?"

"No. You promised to tell me your secret. Come in and scrub my back."

I went into the bathroom and almost dropped my load. I forced myself not to blurt anything out.

Linda was sitting in the tub. The water was up to her navel. The view I got when I walked through the door was of her back. Her mane was hanging down a couple of inches below her shoulders as if she had shaken her head to spread it out. She really is a small person. A little larger than my nine year old granddaughter but not much.

The nine or ten inches of her back I could see under her hair and above the water was covered in scars. It looked as if she had been tied to a stake and given 40 lashes. Several times.

I put down the brush, dryer and shampoo and picked up the washcloth. I went over behind her, dipped the washcloth in the water and put some body wash on it. "Is it going to hurt for me to wash your back?"

"They're pretty much healed. I don't think I want you to use the brush, though. I know this must be tough on you but I really need a good night's sleep before I tell you about it. It's a long story and I don't know how long I can last. I feel like dozing off just sitting in this water."

I gently washed her back. It was covered in freckles, less concentrated the further down I went but there wasn't a clear square inch. The scars distorted them and the smoothness of her skin. I had an urge to throttle someone until he was dead. Not knowing who to vent my rage on was frustrating.

I splashed water on her back to clean off the soap as much as possible. I picked up the arm closest to me, and cleaned it with the washcloth and rinsed it off. I stayed there on my knees, not knowing what to do next.

"Please come around in front of me."

I walked forward on my knees and twisted around so I was facing her. She looked at me. I saw trust, hope and contentment in her face.

I transferred the washcloth into my right hand, dipped it into the water and put some more soap on it. "Give me your other arm."

She lifted it up out of the water, I took her hand in my left and washed this arm good. "You're going to have to rinse it off yourself."

She bent over and dipped her arm in the water. She sat up and looked at me expectantly.

I took the washcloth and started soaping her chest and stomach. She closed her eyes and sighed. I'd made bra jokes over the years, mostly as a teenage dork. When are you going to grow into an A cup? Do you wear training bras? She'd always give me a phony smile, make a Ha, Ha or So funny I forgot to laugh comment. Seeing her this way for the first time, I knew my comments had been spot on. I wondered if she'd been hurt when I'd made them or if she was so used to hearing them that it didn't matter. I noticed that her nipples stood out proudly after being washed.

After I rinsed her off, she said "Help me up."

I gave her my right arm for support and she stood up in the bath. Her bright red bush was within a foot of my face, a little higher than my eyes.

"Finish washing me, please."

I did her right leg first, lifting her foot out to wash it while she held my shoulder. I reached around and did the left leg and foot. I washed that part of her stomach that had been below the water line and her pubis. Switching hands, I did her lower back and butt. It wasn't a child's but it wasn't a centerfold's either. I made sure I cleaned it all, not as a sexual thing but as I would were I giving my granddaughter a bath. When I was done, Linda put her hand on my shoulder again and moved her left foot forward. I switched hands again and washed between her legs, being careful not to get soap in her sensitive areas. I dropped the washcloth and dipped my hand in the water, then cleaned her as best I could.