"Candy, I hate Halloween – Little sugar laden beggars threatening to egg my little hybrid if I don't succumb to the Trick or Treat threat! The only people who make out are the Dentists!"
"Oh come on, Cuz, it will do you good. Meet the man I am going to marry and put some perspective into that over worked brain of yours. Put some boots on your feet, and get your city ass on out here tomorrow."
"I wish I could, really. But I have a deadline, and dinner with the Chamber of Commerce Saturday, and loads of laundry stacked to the ceiling. Besides, who would take care of the cat? And, most importantly, I don't have a costume, and I am not getting one."
"I have something you can wear." There was just a bit too much sweetness in that last comment of my cousin Candy's voice. I ought to know, I had been falling for her tricks for 35 years. Some might have thought we were sisters, but for the fact she was short, curvy and blond, and I was not.
"A rendition of Dolly Parton in a leopard print lycra cat suit isn't it, is it?"
"Oh hell no, honey, there were three Dollies last year, give me more credit than that! Besides, there will be a couple of cute wrangler butts. One is divorced, or ought to be."
"I am not looking! I swore off men for Lent!"
"Wrong season honey, even a heathen like me knows that's three months away! Besides, he drives a red pick up truck."
"Of course he does." She was losing ground, it was clear. Her cousin knew just the things to say, and even as she rolled her eyes, she was glancing to her duffel bag, not even bothering to ask his name. "Pick up trucks
are
over rated. I prefer a much more environmentally aware cosmopolitan type, who can discuss politics, good red wines, and knows what the inside of the Art Museum looks like."
"Sure you do, Vic, just keep telling yourself that, besides, how is that workin' out for ya? Be here by 8 on Friday, Saturday is busy, and bring your damn laundry, we can do it while we rate your new red wine interest, and catch up."
And just like that, she hung up on me. What was she doing, watching Dr. Phil? The invitation to return to Casey County could not have come at a more inopportune time.
I loaded up after work the following eve, a couple baskets of clothes to be washed, and a vintage bottle of Francis Ford Coppola's "Moving On" 2004 reserve Syrah. I liked Casey County this time of year. Most of the tourists had vacated, the crisp air was filled with politically incorrect wood burning stoves, there were real hay bales, pumpkins, bobbing for apples, a parade around town square and a corn maize. At least, that was what I recall from the couple times I came out as a kid. I liked everything about Casey County except for the limited radio selection, as I seemed to only get Country. By the time I got there, I knew six George Straight Songs and the fact he would be in concert the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend.
When I arrived, I glanced over the small well kept ranch, her barn larger than the house, and grinned as I reached for the bags, and made my way towards the dog who eyed me suspiciously, and then wagged his tail slowly, letting out a baleful howl in greeting. Candy opened the door and nearly gushed, as she took the laundry from me, and gave me a big hug, I was engulfed.
A half hour later catching up, we had opened the bottle of wine, friends had given me when the last guy walked out of my life, taking that corporate relocation to the West Coast.
Moving On
, indeed.
"How about a belly dancer?" Standing she began to shimmy, and move her arms in a snake like manner, as I blinked several times. "Oh shake it….shake it… It's all in the hips." She was nearly giggling, and I could see the effects of the wine.
"Are you drunk? How about a Scare Crow? Surely you have a pair of overalls and a flannel shirt around here."
"Come on let's visit my closet."
Into the diva's lair of country living we went, my wine glass refilled. Glancing over different things, I grinned and picked up a bottle of perfume on her dresser and sprayed it. "REBELicious? You are wearing a perfume named… "Rebelicious?"" But as I turned and glanced over her room… she began to pull out a pink belt with silver Swarovski crystals all over it and pink boots. Watching her, I thought how they suited Candy perfectly, but when she turned and threw a pair of jeans at me with the label
Cruel Girl
, I stopped.
"What are you doing?"
"We are going out! I like ole Truman Capote just fine for a ménage trios, but I need more… And besides, your clothes are dirty!"
"Pink belt, pink boots, what am I, three? I need my lil pink felt hat and a bandana and my stick horse and I can go as a cowgirl tomorrow. And this isn't the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants!" Eyeing the jeans suspiciously, she had a much shorter inseam. And.. picking up the boots, I nearly winced. "Whoever Dan Post is, he spends a little too much time working in pink! And it's Francis, not Truman."
Twenty minutes later we were sitting in the Midlands, the local honky tonk, upon barstools, chatting away, with two margarita's in front of us. Nothing like tequila on a Girl's Night Out. And surprisingly those Cruel Girls fit just fine.
"So, whatever happened to ole whatshisname anyway?," Candy managed as she eyed up the bartender, and winked.
"Well, my standard answers are.. He was gay, He forgot to tell me he had a wife and was married to his job, or if they get really obnoxious, I just tell them I am a celibate lesbian."
"Ever regret not moving?"
"Used to - Every damn day."
About that time, Duane, the team roping champion of Casey County, rolled in, and swept Candy off her stool, a tip of the hat in my direction, before he planted the hottest kiss I had ever seen upon her, complete with bending her backwards. I wondered if she, too, ever regretted giving up her dreams. She was Nashville bound at eighteen, until her life took a turn, causing her to marry too young, and have a child. He left her when she was 28, and it was the best thing that ever happened to her. Shattered dreams, were not the only thing he left her with. Fortunately, he had moved on to younger women and faster horses, so to speak. Duane, from our phone conversations, seemed like the real salt of the earth kind of guy. Simple, basic, mature and dam good between the sheets. I was blushing as I recalled some of her tales.
"So what's the plan Ladies? And nice to meet you Vic, Candy has told me a lot about you." Grinning as he ordered a Bud Light on tap, and leaned against the bar, he eyed the pink belt on me, and pinched Candy's waist. "Not fitting you these days, Sugar?"
God I loved that drawl. It wasn't quite southern, but it was sexy as hell. Candy elbowed him, hard in the ribs, and then winked. "Tomorrow is the parade in the morning, the hog roast at five, and then the Costume Barn dance. And Sunday, is the breakfast trail ride."
"Hope your cousin, the big city girl, can handle it." He playfully to me as he ordered us another round, and then leaned down to cup the back cheek of Candy's jeans, before turning to go start up a game of darts.
"Dayum.. I want one of those!" My eyes followed him as I softly exhaled. Had I just said that? Glancing around maybe I only thought it.
"Well he has older brothers and younger brothers, one is recently divorced or should be, and drives a red pick up truck." Candy quipped, as she glanced out the multi paned window glass. "I think that's him pullin' in now. I hope you approve of the Best Man, I told him all about you!."
"I told you not to fix me up! I just came to relax, commiserate with Francis and do my laundry!"