A Broen Heart

"What do you mean you still haven't told him about Fitz? It's been two weeks!" Fran said vehemently, her head snapping up from to look at Heidi with raised eyebrows.

Heidi put a chair up on a table and turned to face her friend. She felt bad enough as it was without Fran lecturing her. "I don't know," Heidi snapped back. "I just haven't found the right moment yet."

Fran shook her head, and spoke without even look up from the salt shakers she was refilling. "Moment shmoment, you're just hoping some miracle will happen and you won't have to tell him. You can't just keep putting it off, you just have to get it over with."

"That reminds me. Can you watch Fitz tonight?"

"Sorry, we are all going over to Steve's mother's house for dinner."

"That's okay," Heidi said quickly, "You've been watching him so much lately. I'll just cancel for tonight."

"Oh no you don't," Fran stood up from the table, "You are going tonight and you are telling Jake about his son. I'm sure Ben will watch Fitz." Fran started putting shakers back on tables.

"Fran," Heidi said hopelessly, "What if he can't forgive me? I-I think I'm falling in love with him."

"Well, of course you are sweetheart," Fran said like Heidi's revelation was of no surprise to her, "And I'm sure he will forgive you. Now get out of here."

"Bye," Heidi walked out of the diner feeling a little dazed. Fran was right though, the longer she put off telling him, the worse it would be. She would tell him tonight.

***

"Thanks so much again for watching him tonight, Ben," Heidi said, grabbing her purse.

"So, do you have a date?" Ben asked, casually running his fingers through his hair.

Heidi nodded, walking over to Fitz to give him a hug goodbye.

"Have you known him long?"

"We used to know each other a while ago. Bye Fitzy." Heidi bent down and gave him a kiss and a hug.

"Bye mommy," Fitz said, not taking his eyes from the T.V.

"I won't be back too late," Heidi promised Ben as she walked out the door. She and Jake had decided just to stay in tonight, and he was cooking her dinner at his house. He offered to come pick her up, but Heidi insisted that it would be easier to just to drive over there. She knew where it was because she had been once before.

"Bye," Heidi heard Ben call as she climbed into the elevator.

***

Heidi pulled up the long driveway. Jake's house was definitely nice, and very expensive, but it wasn't showy or anything. He lived far back in the woods, and you couldn't even see the house from the driveway.

Jake was standing casually in the doorway, leaning against the frame when she pulled up by the house.

"Have you just been standing there waiting for me?" she called to him as she slammed the door, skipping up to meet him.

"Just enjoying the night air," he said. Heidi was standing next to him now, and he gently pulled her body in close to his for a kiss.

Heidi put her hands on his shoulders, "It is a nice night, isn't it?" she started to play with the hair on the nape of his neck.

"Mm hmm," he hummed as he bent to kiss her again. He let his lips linger on hers, intoxicating her with the sweet sensation the kiss gave her deep in her belly.

"Won't dinner get cold?" Heidi asked, pulling away from him. His kisses were too tempting, she hast to stop them before they got out of hand.

"It can wait," he said, tugging her closer to his body and kissing her again, groaning deeply in the back of his throat.

Heidi felt her body melt against his. It felt so right to be here in his arms. He eventually pulled back, kissing her forehead.

"Okay, let's go in and eat," he started to disentangle himself from her body.

"Now I don't want to," Heidi complained, as she pressed herself closer against his warmth.

He chuckled, kissing the top of her head. "Come on," he was relentless as he ushered her inside and closed the door behind him.

Despite what they had agreed to, Heidi found that things were actually moving pretty quickly. They had long ago passed the stage of chaste kissed left at the door to her apartment at the end of the night. Instead, when it came time for Heidi to leave him, she found their long, passionate kisses increasingly harder to end.

Heidi felt his hands on her waist, gently guiding her to the kitchen. She knew where it was, having been there a twice before, yet she let herself be led.

"Mmm, that looks delicious," Heidi said appreciatively as she saw the steaks set out for their dinner.

"Cooking, yet another of my endless talents," Jake said in mock arrogance, and Heidi grinned wryly at him.

After they ate, Jake and Heidi sat closely together on the couch, sometimes kissing, mostly just holding each other. Heidi got the sense that things were too perfect. She was too happy, something had to go wrong.

"Tell me about your childhood," Jake said suddenly.

"Why?" Heidi pulled her head back from where it was resting under Jake's chin to look at his face.

His smile was a bit confused at her almost hostile response. "I just want to know everything about you."

Heidi laid her head back down against his chest. "You first."

"Well, there isn't much to tell."

"Me either."

"Tell me about your parents," Jake asked.

Heidi recognized that he was weaseling out of telling her anything, but she decided to let him get away with it.

"Well, my dad died when I was little."

"I'm sorry," he said, his arms tightening around her.

"I don't remember much about him. Just corny stuff, like him making me pancakes and stuff like that."

"Were you close with your mom?"

Heidi laughed bitterly. "My mom didn't want to have anything to do with me, except to tell me what a horrible child I was."

Jake scowled, but Heidi didn't see him.

"I suppose your relationship with your parents was perfect," Heidi teased, although a little resentment crept into her voice.

"What's with you and thinking my life was perfect?" he asked her, remembering her saying something like that once before.

"Sorry," Heidi said contritely, "How was your relationship with your parents?"

"Pretty perfect actually," Jake said brightly, and Heidi pinched him gently. "I'm surprised they put up with me as much as they did, I've thrown more than one kegger in their house."

Heidi rolled her eyes, although he couldn't see her with her head lying snugly against his chest.

After a minute or so of silence, "Did your mom ever remarry?" Jake asked innocently.

Heidi stiffened in his arms. Jake didn't miss the sudden tension that wracked her body. "What is it?" he asked softly.

Heidi was suddenly overcome with memories of her stepfather. She remembered the last time she had seen him, the night she had left her mom's house for good. She couldn't hold back her shudder of revulsion.

"What is it, Heidi?" Jake asked again. She could detect the genuine worry in his voice, which for some reason comforted her.

"Nothing," she reassured him, "He was just a jerk, that's all."

Jake wouldn't let it drop so easily, though. "What did he do to you?" Jake asked gently.

Heidi wondered if they were so in sync that he could tell when something was really bothering her, or if her reaction was so outspoken that it would have been obvious to anyone.

"It's nothing, really," Heidi played down her stepfather's cruelty. "He mostly just screamed at me, and hit me with his belt a couple of times. It was bearable." Bearable, yes, until that one night, the night she was driven from her house by Carl's horrific deeds.

Now it was Jake's turn to stiffen underneath her. "He beat you?" Heidi could hear the tightly controlled rage in his voice.

"It was a long time ago," Heidi looked into his face.

The look of burning rage in Jake's eyes made Heidi feel loved. It made her think that if Carl were here right now, Jake would gladly tear him limb from limb. No one had been so protective of her before.

Heidi gently kissed his lips. He groaned and cupped her neck underneath her hair. He deepened the kiss, holding her head in place.

"Make love to me," she whispered when she pulled back slightly from his hungry lips.

"Heidi," Jake groaned, and shook his head as if to clear his thoughts.

"Make love to me," she said it again, this time a little more forcefully. She could feel his deep, unsteady breaths beneath. After a long pause, he seemed to come to a decision. Heidi was already on his lap, and he secured her in his arms before standing up. Heidi wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her up the stairs.

"Are you sure?" he asked, not taking his eyes away from her flushed face.

No. "Yes."

She wanted to be in his bed. She wanted to be free to enjoy what she had been too scared to before.

"Promise me," she said wistfully.

"What?" Jake asked as he opened his bedroom door and walked inside.

"Promise me you won't leave."

Jake was confused. "Why would I leave?"

Heidi felt silly now that she had said it, and she pressed her face against his shoulder.

"Why would I leave?" he asked again, laying her carefully on the bed.

Heidi blushed prettily. "Like before. Don't leave like before."

"Oh sweetheart," he said, sitting down and leaning closely into her, "I promise," he said forcefully, "I'm not going anywhere."

He gave her a kiss. "Last time I was too ashamed to stay around," he admitted and gently stroked her hair out of her face, "I didn't think you would want me there. I didn't want to hurt you more than I already had."

Heidi didn't know what to say, so she reached up and kissed him again. Jake maneuvered his hands in between their nestled bodies. He pushed her shirt up to reveal her stomach, but it wouldn't go any farther with her lying on the bed the way she was.

He lightly ran his hands over the flesh of her abdomen, letting them linger where her flesh disappeared into her jeans. Heidi felt a wave of goose bumps run up her spine.

Jake bent over her and placed some dry kisses around her belly button. Heidi shuddered, as he trailed them up to the underside of her bra. He kissed her ribcage just below her fleshy cotton-covered breasts.

Getting frustrated with the limited amount of her skin available, Jake placed an arm under her back and used it to lift torso off the bed. He used his other hand to tug her shirt up and off her, Heidi eagerly helped him.

She was wearing a plain white bra, and Jake thought the simple white cotton hiding her breasts delicately from his view was sexier than any lacy Victoria's Secret contraption he could have imagined.

He kissed the top of her breasts that were showing above her bra. Heidi grasped the hem of his own shirt and tugged at it. He lifted his arms so she could pull it up and over his head. The action forced her into a sitting position, which brought her close to his newly bared chest. Heidi pressed herself into his hard, muscled body. Her bare skin touched his, and the result was electric. She could no longer control her body, only threw herself closer to him, kissing him furiously while striving to connect every inch of their skin together.

Jake made a deep noise in the back of his throat as her tongue danced with his. He unclasped her bra, but their bodies were so close together, it stayed held up between their chests.

He let his hands run over her bare back, up to her shoulders and gently down under her arms. His fingers grazed the sides of her fleshy orbs, and the sensation caused a tingle between Heidi's legs.

He used his weight to push her back into a lying position on the bed. Heidi couldn't help the blush that came to her cheeks as Jake gently pulled away her bra, revealing her breasts. Jake stared at her unwaveringly. He strained to remember the last time he had seen her like this, so open before him. Her breasts were bigger, that he was sure of.

He reverently cupped her soft, fleshy globes in his hands, rubbing her nipples gently. "Jake," she moaned out, reaching up and holding his elbows as he played with her breasts.

Jake hungrily kissed her mouth, and Heidi closed her eyes in her complete pleasure. Jake hurriedly pulled off his pants and boxers. Heidi barely caught a glimpse of his arousal before he moved to pull down her pants and undies.

Once again Heidi blushed as he removed her clothing. She was completely naked now to his hungry gaze. He looked at her eagerly, and the way his eyes were running over her body made Heidi's pussy throb even more.

Jake climbed gently on top of her. Heidi could feel his hard cock pressing into her thigh. Her breathing increased rapidly as Jake started to stroke her pussy with his hand. "You're so wet," he told her, letting his finger run in between her pussy lips, feeling her juices. He loved the way she blushed.

"Jake," she begged desperately, arching her back.

"Are you sure?" his voice was ragged.

Heidi couldn't have stopped herself now if her life depended on it. "Jake," she said urgently, moving her hips restlessly.

He was instantly inside of her. Heidi gasped as she felt his hard length go in. Despite herself, she had been a little frightened of how this moment would make her feel. But she might as well not have worried, because nothing could feel more natural or more right to her than to have Jake's cock buried deep inside of her.

"God, you're tight," he rasped out, as he pushed his cock in as deep as it would go, then pulled out some and pushed in again. Heidi went wild underneath him.

"Ahh," she screamed, digging her nails into his shoulders. She pulled her knees up to allow him even further access into her warm body.

Jake sped up his thrusts, feeling close to his climax. Heidi's toes curled, her whole body straining, so close.

Heidi screamed as he spilt his seed inside of her. Her legs were wrapped tightly around his waist. Jake was breathing hard, and he let his full weight fall rest on top of her.

He kissed her shoulder, her neck. Heidi kept her legs around him, not wanting him to pull out of her.

"Mm, sweetheart," Jake said against her soft skin. Heidi wrapped her arms around his neck, holding on tightly. Her chest fluttered with her breathing, and she wrapped her fingers into his hair.

Jake rolled off of her so his weight wouldn't crush her, and Heidi rolled along with him, keeping her body pressed against his chest. He held her as he laid on his side, his cock still inside of her, her leg draped over his hip.

"That was perfect." As he spoke, Heidi could feel the vibrations from where her forehead was pressed against his neck.

"Yes," she agreed, and let her eyes droop shut.

Heidi awoke with a start. Jake was now lying on his back and her head was resting on his shoulder. Instant panic set in when she realized how dark and still the night was, and that she had fallen asleep. Straining her neck, she got a glimpse of the digital clock balanced on his night stand—almost two in the morning.

Rolling out of bed, she forgot to be careful not to wake him up. She started grabbing up her clothes and hurriedly putting them on. "What are you doing?" she heard Jake ask sleepily.

Heidi didn't know what to say. She didn't even look at him, only continued to tug her shirt over her head. And then suddenly he was by her side.

He wrapped his arms around her frantic body, efficiently stopping her. "What's wrong Heidi?"

Once again she didn't know what to say. "I have something to tell you, something that happened the four years ago when you left." But she didn't say that, only thought about it. Whether it was because she was so flustered, or because of what they had just done, she couldn't get the words out of her mouth. She had protected her secret from him for so long, that now she was finding it hard to let it go.

"I have to leave," she told him, pulling out of his arms and heading for the bedroom door.

"I love you," she heard Jake say to her retreating back. Heidi couldn't help herself, she automatically turned her head and looked at him longingly. She knew she loved him, but for some reason, she was too scared to tell him. She just turned around and left without a backwards glance.

It didn't hit Heidi until she was in her car and driving down the road the full extent of what she had just done, and what it must have implied to Jake. He must think that she regrets what happened. Maybe he thinks that she felt rushed, or maybe he thinks that she doesn't love him. Heidi couldn't help the tears from falling down her eyes then. She couldn't believe it, she never cried.

She started sobbing right while she was driving home, and thought it was a miracle that she didn't have to pull over and stop the car.

Pulling into her apartment's parking lot, she quickly tried to compose herself. She dried her tears, and smoothed down her hair, but there was nothing she could do about her red, splotchy face.

It was now two o'clock in the morning. Ben must hate her, Fitz must be so worried. She only hoped that he had fallen asleep and wouldn't know that she hadn't come home yet. How could she do this to her son? She had been abandoning him so often for these past two weeks just so she could go spend time with Jake. She felt selfish and awful. She had to stop herself from crying again when she figured that she wouldn't have to worry about leaving him alone anymore.

"Heidi, thank God," was the first thing Ben said when she walked through the door, "I was so worried, it's not like you to be late." Ben said as he pulled her into a hug. After the way she just left Jake, Heidi didn't feel like she deserved a hug right now, or that she even wanted one.

"What happened?" Ben's voice was grave as he looked at her splotchy, tear-streaked face.

"N-nothing," Heidi shook her head as she pulled away from him and looked uncomfortably down at the floor.

"Did he do something to you--your date?" Ben's voice was hard yet gentle at the same time. He grasped her shoulders in his hands and tried to get her to look at him.

Heidi let out a little humorless laugh, and shook her head. "No, but it's over," the last word came out as a muffled sob. She didn't want to wake Fitz up.

"I'm so sorry I'm late, Ben. It was so nice of you to watch him, and I took advantage of you," a whole new wave of tears were running down her cheeks as she stared hopelessly at his face.

"Don't worry about it Heidi," he said pulling her into his arms, "I just about cleaned out all the ice cream from your freezer, so let's call it even."

Heidi let out a depressed little chuckle into his shoulder. And he held her in his arms until she quieted down.

"So it's over between you and this guy?" Ben asked. Heidi didn't say anything, only looked down at her feet.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up."

"I'm just going to go check on Fitz," Heidi told him. Peeking into her son's room and seeing his sleeping form helped to calm her.

She quietly walked to the bed and gave him a kiss on the forehead. She wasn't worried about waking him up, since he was a pretty heavy sleeper.

"Oh Fitzy," she whispered to him, stroking his hair gently.

She heard a knock on the front door, and instantly knew who it was. She also heard Ben answering it. Like a prisoner walking to their execution, she left Fitz's bed and closed the door behind her.

Jake was standing at the door, his expression one of horrified shock, his eyes staring at Ben. When Heidi came into view, Jake's eyes flickered to hers, and she couldn't stand the hurt question in them.

"I think you need to leave," Ben told Jake, standing protectively in front of the door. He was a sweetheart, Heidi thought, trying to protect her like that.

"And just who the fuck are you?" Jake asked, stepping closer to Ben aggressively.

"I'm a friend of Heidi's, and she doesn't want you here. So I'll ask you again, please leave." Ben's voice had a warning tone in it.