Madison was a little stunned and it showed on her face.
"Oh, don't be surprised, dearest. He's very popular around here, but only a very few can get him to appear at their parties and functions. He did come to one of mine though. Three Christmases ago. I'm Abagail and my husband is David. We live on the other side of town. We're great fans of his; both as an author and a photographer, but we're even greater admirers of him personally. He's such a good person, and a real charmer!"
Madison returned the elderly woman's smile gratefully and she leaned closer as if to share a secret with Madison.
"He's all yours, dear. Don't let him go!"
"I don't intend to."
Madison left the bathroom flush with giddy glee. Daniel waited at the door, and she couldn't help but grin. He looked so good; tall, calm, and warm. Madison flushed a little as a stray sexual thought scuttled across her mind. She halted to let it pass and posed for Daniel's attention. Once he looked away from the maรฎtre d', who fawned appropriately over Daniel's generosity, Daniel gave her a double take smirk. She puckered her lips at him again, put on her best runway strut and gave everyone in the restaurant a perfect demonstration of how work a double slit dress with no underwear and not expose oneself. Daniel offered her his arm and led her to the car.
The ride home was quiet and sultry. Madison crossed her ankles and let her left thigh show through a slit. Daniel didn't take his eyes off the road but laid his square right hand on her and gently stroked the inside of her thigh. Madison purred a little pleasure and Daniel's hand advanced a little closer to the goal, but Madison studiously kept her legs crossed. She didn't want car sex like some teenager on a Saturday night McDonald's date. Tonight, when she gave it up, she wanted to be in their home as husband and wife. Still Daniel's hand felt luscious on her bare thigh and Madison tingled with anticipation. One way or another, Madison was going to get her Daniel back, no matter what it cost.
*****
When they arrived at the lake house, Madison didn't give Daniel a chance to escape her. When he opened her door, she artfully mesmerized him with a flash of her nakedness and led him by the hand to the back door. There she landed the first of what she hoped would be many passionate kisses of the evening. The second of those kisses occurred with her back pressed against the door and Daniel's hands on her hips. When Daniel finally managed the door, Madison drew him inside and closed the door behind them with a thrust of her hip.
"Almost there!" she thought to herself.
The momentum of their touches built steadily, and she didn't want it to stop. Daniel left his jacket and tie in the kitchen and Madison slipped her shoes off as they entered the living room. As she led him to the stairway, she worried open the buttons on his shirt, but before they could mount the stairs, he gave the first sign of resistance. Madison encouraged Daniel with another passionate and shamelessly sexual kiss.
"Stay with me, Daniel," she hissed in hot breathy tones. "Be with me."
Daniel kissed her back with verve.
"I love you, Daniel."
Again, she felt him pull back from her touch.
"It's OK," she whispered into another kiss. "It's OK. Go with it."
Daniel's lips parted from hers and his dusky green eyes sighed desire. His face showed his internal struggle for control and then the walls went up in his eyes and he stepped out of Madison's embrace.
"Oh, no...," Madison moaned forlornly.
Daniel shook his head to clear the tense, sexual fog around them, and Madison's heart dropped. She could no longer put this off. All that was left was to fight.
How could he do this to her? How could he be so cruel as to make her be cruel to him? How dare he keep her in abeyance and not allow her to care for him, to heal him, to save him? Wasn't that what he wanted and needed and hoped for? Why wouldn't he allow her to return the warmth she drew from him? Why wouldn't he let her love him? Why did it have to come to this?
A terrible anger flared in Madison's heart: Anger at this situation and what had brought her to this pass; anger at the expectations that weighed on her since puberty; anger at the people that gave her those expectations; anger that those expectations inevitably led her to predatory men like Miles and Steve; anger that she had pursued men like Miles and Steve rather than men like Todd, like Daniel; anger that she had wasted time in pursuit of men like Miles and Steve; anger that because of her experience with men like Miles and Steve she felt that she didn't deserve men like Todd, like Daniel; anger that the pursuit of high value men had cost her chances with men like Todd, like Daniel; anger that only now she had learned to tell the difference between pretty and beauty; anger that only when it was too late and her marriage lay in shambles around her did she finally understand love. As all of that anger swirled like a firestorm in Madison's heart, intense and wild, it sought a target.
Daniel.
She was angry at Daniel. Daniel who defied those expectations, who made her doubt her choice to pursue high value men, who made her detest those high value men because he had shown her kindness and calm and patience and compassion and all the things she never knew she needed until he gave them to her, who made it safe for her to live out her fantasies, and to be silly and romantic, who had awakened a desire to care and to heal and to love in Madison and now would not let her express that desire to him, for him, with him. Madison loved Daniel, but he wouldn't let her love him and that filled her with a rage unlike any she had ever known. Rage at Daniel. Madison's eyes took on a hard edge which she reflected in her voice.
"OK, Daniel," she said with a sob which belied her ire. "That's it. I give up."
Daniel looked confused.
"What?"
"I give up!" Madison cried at him. "I can't do this anymore!"
Daniel shook his head in confusion.
"Do what?"
"Do this! Whatever this crippled thing is between us! I can't do it anymore!"
"Madison...."
Madison's anger locked on like a heat seeking missile and it bore in on its target with deadly accuracy. She cut him off with a harsh chop of her hand.
"No, Daniel. I've waited and waited for you to talk, but you never did. Now you listen to me!" Madison sobbed through hot tears of wrath. "I love you so much, and I'll do anything, anything, to keep you, but you won't let me!"
Daniel's face wavered. His eyes showed the cracks in the dam and for the first time Madison could remember, Daniel's intelligence failed him. She watched him cast about for a rejoinder or a way to deflect the attention from himself, but not this time. Madison gave him no time to recover.
"You're the best man I've ever known! I'm so lucky to have you, but I can't continue in this holding pattern you've got me in!"
"Holding pattern?" Daniel staggered.
"Yes! You mope around and wallow in this pain and I feel just awful and scared all the time! I walk around on eggshells! I'm so scared you'll leave! Daniel, I can't live like that anymore! I can't eat! I can't sleep! I can't even breathe right! All I want is you and you keep me at arm's length!"
"Madison...."
"Don't you see? I'm scared it's over and you just can't tell me!"
"Over? No... but...." Daniel's frame shook with barely contained emotion as Madison upped the stakes.
"Then why do I feel like it is? I don't have a marriage anymore! I don't have you! I live with the shell of the man I love! You're still there and I can see you, but it seems like there is nothing inside of you and I can't take it anymore!"
Madison stepped back from Daniel. She had rehearsed this scene in her mind, but now that she was in it, she was lost. Words ran out of her mouth so fast she couldn't keep up with the script, but she could not give him any chance to recover. Daniel, the culmination of all her unspoken hopes and dreams, was right in front of her and it was the only chance she had.
"You can't treat me like this anymore, Daniel! Tell me what you want me to say! Tell me what you want me to do! I'll say it! I'll do it! Just don't leave me in limbo anymore! On the one hand you tell me you love me, and on the other, there is a divorce over my head like the Sword of Damocles!"
Daniel looked startled by her reference.
"Yeah, you're not the only one that can read, Daniel! I'm tired of this push pull game! Either I'm your wife or your ex-wife! Pick one, for God's sake! I want so desperately to be your wife! To be with you forever and have a family and a home! I want that so bad my heart aches! But I can't have it because you won't give it to me! You tease me with it and then cruelly yank it away before I can reach it!"