A Beauteous Flower

Chapter 18 - The Secret of the Silence, a Wish and the Preparation

*****

Breakfast was a flirty and pleasant affair and Madison's plan for the rest of the day was simple; make as much physical contact with Daniel as she could to let him know he was the only man she thought about. To that end she made breakfast into touchy-feely time, which included some very direct strokes of his calf muscles with her bare right foot.

When Daniel didn't object Madison took the opportunity to sit in his lap and kiss his neck. His body stirred and that encouraged her, but before she could press her advantage, Daniel excused himself and explained that he needed to write some more. Undeterred, Madison insisted on a deep kiss followed by a bear hug that mashed her breasts into his chest. Daniel left the house with a smirk on his face, and Madison, keen for any opportunity, nearly pursued him to the cabin, but thought better of it. She had made enough progress the last two days that she didn't want to jeopardize it with a rash move.

After a shower, Madison retrieved her cell phone and rang up the final person on her list; Daniel's sister, Diane. The phone rang four times before Diane answered it and Madison could hear Diane's children in the background.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Diane. This is Madison."

"Oh. Hello."

There had always been awkwardness in this relationship too. Madison never really had much contact with Diane since the day Rosalina chewed Madison's butt off in the kitchen, and Madison knew Diane would be suspicious why Madison had called her.

"Daniel is OK, Diane," Madison explained. "I just wanted to talk to you."

"Give mommy a minute," Diane said to one of her children. "I'm sorry. Talk to me about what?"

"Daniel."

More awkward tension. Madison sighed inwardly. Diane had been the one who explained why Daniel's mom didn't like Madison, so this would not be an easy conversation in any case.

"I see."

"Diane, I know I'm not your favorite in-law, but I really need some help right now."

"Oh?"

"Yes, Daniel and I have some trouble, trouble between us, and it's because of something I did. I need to talk to someone who knows him so I can figure out how to make this right."

"I see."

Madison waited and, since Diane did not say anything, told the story. Confession just seemed like the right thing to do if she wanted help with the situation. Diane listened quietly with periodic interruptions to direct her children's preparations to go to the park.

"So that's it," Madison finished. "And now I need to fix this for Daniel. Is there anything you can tell me?"

Diane considered for a moment.

"Madison, this is kind of awkward for me."

"I understand."

"No. No, you don't. You see it's awkward because I don't really know Daniel very well."

Madison's eyebrows knit in surprise.

"You don't?"

"No. Not really. He's a tough person to get to know."

Madison nodded with that sentiment.

"You see, I, I can't believe I'm admitting this to you of all people, but I hated Daniel when we were younger."

Madison blinked in surprise.

"He was always so strange," Diane continued. "I really started to hate him when I was in the eighth grade. He was the weirdest guy in school, and I didn't want to be painted with the same brush. Everyone wants to be cool when they're young. Right? Well, I wanted to be cool and popular, and as the younger sister of the weirdest guy in town, I thought that might hurt me in that department. So, well, I avoided him as much as I could and when we were together in public, I dumped on him so the other kids wouldn't think I liked him. Even at home, I would pick on him. It got worse when we were in High School. I tried to deny that we were related. I even started a rumor that he was adopted, but my mother found out and made me quit it."

Madison kept silent. Something in Diane's voice struck her. A somber note of guilt and regret.

"It wasn't just me. Home life wasn't exactly a refuge for Daniel. My parents didn't really understand Daniel either. They were immigrants and they wanted Daniel to study hard, but neither of them understood or approved of Daniel's interests. He liked books about knights and dragons and spaceships. He watched movies like "Star Wars" and television shows like "Star Trek". He'd spend hours buried in comic books and video games. He didn't go out to parties or hang out with friends. He wasn't interested in sports and didn't play any in High School. He was alone most of the time and the few people he spoke with were almost as weird as he was."

"My parents did not get that at all. They were first generation immigrants, blue collar, practical people. My dad never read a book in his life, and my mom only read the Bible. They had no frame of reference to form a deeper relationship of any kind with Daniel. All they could do was tell him to straighten up, do good in school and be like the other kids. You can imagine how upset they got when they found out he'd told his English teacher that he wanted to be a writer. Really upset. My father especially. My mother cried that Daniel would be broke all his life and demanded that he should study to be a doctor or a lawyer, but my dad's concerns were more immediate."

Diane took a break to tell her children to put on their clothes and put away their toys then she continued.

"My dad was a tough guy. A mechanic and an ex-wrestler. A man's man with grease under his nails and scars on his hands. He never once gave a thought to his inner self. So, my dad, who didn't connect with Daniel at all, decided that he needed to toughen Daniel up. He told my mother that he was afraid that Daniel might turn out to be gay, and he wanted to put a stop to that. So, he took Daniel down to a local gym to learn how to box. Daniel was spindly like a scarecrow; all lanky and boney and underweight. Absolutely no muscles on him whatever. He didn't look like a boxer, for sure, but my father wouldn't be deterred, and, over my mother's protests, dad signed Daniel up for boxing lessons every day after school."

"Daniel hated the idea and didn't want to go, but my dad told him to shut up and toughen up. It seems really mean now, but at that time I prayed that they would beat the weird out of Daniel. Dad picked him up from school every day and dropped him off at the gym and left so Daniel couldn't sit in the car and avoid the lesson. It lasted a week. Daniel put a stop to it."

Diane drew a guilty breath.

"Daniel came home from the first lesson with a fat lip. My mother got upset and tried to put ice on it, but my father told her to leave Daniel alone and let Daniel toughen up. And that's how it went. Every day for a week Daniel went to the gym and every day he came home with bigger and worse injuries. Finally, on Friday the owner of the gym brought Daniel home early. Daniel's nose was splattered all over his face and he had the most gruesome black eye I ever saw. The gym owner wouldn't let Daniel go to his gym for lessons anymore and he gave my father his money back. Daniel had thought up a way to both prove to my dad how tough he was and get out of boxing lessons."

Diane's breath shuddered with barely contained emotion as she pressed on.

"Daniel might not have looked like much, but whatever he wasn't physically, it turned out he had the heart of a lion. Every day that week Daniel challenged the biggest kids in his age group to a fight and once they got in the ring, Daniel wouldn't punch them or even defend himself. He would just stand there with his hands behind his back and let the other kid hit him. The gym owner said Daniel had a chin made of solid granite because kids his own age couldn't put him down. They punched him until they got tired, and they quit. By the third day no one his age wanted to fight him anymore even though he never hit any one of them back."

"On Friday, when no one his age would fight him, Daniel challenged a kid that was four years older than him. It took three rounds of abuse, but this kid finally managed to knock Daniel out cold. And break his nose and fracture his cheekbone. That was when the owner of the gym decided this had to stop before Daniel got killed, so he brought Daniel home and that was the end of boxing lessons for Daniel."

"Daniel stood there in the kitchen all swollen and bloody and he never said a word. Not a peep. No tears of pain. No moans. Nothing. He just stood there on wobbly legs and stared at us with blank, glassy eyes. Honestly, it scared me."

"My mother freaked out and made my dad sleep on the sofa while Daniel spent the night in the hospital so they could set his nose and make sure he didn't have blood on his brain. When he came home the next evening, his face was two times its normal size and round like the moon. He must have been in such pain, but no matter how much my mom begged, Daniel refused to take the pain medication the doctors prescribed. He couldn't chew, so he drank soup out of a coffee mug. My mother tried to mix some pain meds into his soup, but I guess he tasted it because he wouldn't eat anything that had the pain medication in it."

"Through it all, Daniel never complained. He didn't say much at all really. He just stared at us, and he would flinch if anyone touched him. My mother was almost inconsolable while Daniel recovered, and my dad actually shed tears over the whole episode. It was the only time I ever saw him cry."

"It took Daniel weeks to fully recover. He had always been skinny, but he lost weight on his liquid diet, and he slept badly because of the concussion and pain. He became emaciated, pasty, and exhausted, but he kept up with his schoolwork. He only missed two days of school. He got up early, went to school, came home, did his homework, and went to bed early so he could get up and do it again the next day. It was incredible. Not that the kids at school gave him any breaks. They kept after him and let him know they thought he was weirder than ever."

"Through it all Daniel kept his mouth shut. If anyone tried to talk to him, he would just stare at them with that same blank look I saw when he came home from the gym. He'd always been quiet, but after that week of boxing lessons he literally went silent. I didn't tease him anymore because he scared me, but after a while I didn't tease him because I felt bad for him. I finally noticed just how alone he was."

Madison heard Diane sniffle.

"Daniel didn't tell anyone, but somehow rumors of his epic toughness spread and for the first time I was proud to be his sister, but we never talked. I could never tell if he was happy or sad or upset or anything. Daniel would not open up to anyone."

"He wrote me letters every week when he went off to college. Mainly he asked questions about my life, and he never talked about himself. He went to Yale, you know. He was so smart. He still is. My mother was so sure he would be a great lawyer or doctor, but on graduation day, Daniel quietly announced he was done with school and that his intention was to start a career as an author. My parents flipped out on him and caused a big scene in front of everyone, but Daniel wouldn't budge. He just got that vacant look on his face and didn't react even when they told him they wouldn't support a bum with no future. Two weeks later he sold his first short story, and his writing career just took off from there. Then he started photography and suddenly he was everywhere. The New York Times Best Seller's list. Everywhere. All of the sudden. Like a thunderbolt."

"He made a metric ton of money in a big hurry, but you wouldn't have known it to look at him. He got this dirty little basement flat that had only one window and that leaked when it rained. He drove the worst jalopy I ever saw, he dressed like a hobo, and he ate like a junky."

"When he spent money, he only spent it on people he cared about. He bought my parents that nice house they live in, and he bought them Cadillac cars to drive because my father had always gone on and on about how someday he would drive a Cadillac. Then he put huge sums of money in 529s and, thanks to Daniel, each of my kids has enough money available to go to college for a decade. He paid our bills when my husband went back to school for his MBA, and I'm pretty sure Daniel made some calls to get my husband hired at his job after he finished his degree."

"Eventually after he got all that done, he did buy that nice house by the lake, and he got himself a car and a wardrobe that didn't look like it came from Goodwill. I hear he gives a lot of money to charity, and I know he always makes sure everyone in his family is cared for before he takes care of himself. I tried to pay him back once. I mailed him a check for five thousand dollars. He mailed it back with his own check for fifty thousand and a terse note that said that he loved me, but if I tried that again he'd send my check back with one hundred thousand dollars in quarters."

"My mom still feels real guilty about how things went in Daniel's childhood. She still doesn't understand him, but she knows he's special in some way. She's his biggest fan, even though she's never really read one of his books or stories. She can sense that he's hurt in some way that he never talks about, and that's why she's so fiercely protective of him."

"Since the boxing episode, things between Daniel and my dad were always distant. Daniel goes over there and watches baseball with dad from time to time. Dad loves baseball. They talk about the Red Sox, but not much else. Dad never asks about Daniel's work and Daniel doesn't tell him. I'm not sure my dad really knows what Daniel does, actually."

"As far as I can tell, Daniel never brought up the week of boxing lessons to anyone ever. I tried to ask him about it once, but he just shut down. We don't really talk about anything, Daniel and I. I feel really bad about that. He calls and asks about me, and my family and he's never rubbed anything in my face. He's sweet as pie to everyone he loves; to my parents, to me and my husband and my kids absolutely love their "Uncle D". If any of the kids have an event or get sick or have a bad day, Daniel is the first one to be there for them with a candy bar and a hug. He always tells them he loves them, and he believes in them."

Diane sniffled again on the other end of the connection, so Madison kept a respectful silence.

"So, I don't really know my brother, Madison. I love him and I'm proud of him. I know he loves me because he tells me and, well, he's been so generous, but I always get the feeling that he doesn't believe me when I tell him I love him. I don't think he feels loved. Not way down deep in his heart. I don't think he believes that anyone could really love him. It's upsetting and I've told him so, but he just tells me not to worry about it. I wish we could be closer, but I don't think Daniel will let it happen. It's not punishment or anything. I think he's just scared that I don't really care about him."

This time Madison did hear a small sob.

"Mommy is OK, dear. No, mommy's not crying. Go put your shoes on and help April put hers on."

Diane cleared her throat.

"I'm sorry. Kids."

"I understand."

"Madison, I hate to cut this short, but the kids have a play date in like twenty minutes. You want me to call you back?"

"No, Diane. I've taken up enough of your time."

"Are you sure? Here you called me for help and all I did was cry in your ear."

"No. You helped me a lot, Diane. Thank you."

"You're welcome, I guess."

A quiet moment passed awkwardly until Madison hazarded a guess.

"Diane, would you guys like to come over some time? Spend a day by the pool and have a picnic? Just chat?"

Diane sniffled.

"That would be nice."

"OK. I'll talk to Daniel about it. I'm sure he'll be up for it."

"I hope so. Thank you, Madison, and good luck."

"You're welcome. Have a good time with the kids, Diane."

Madison hung up the phone in a pensive mood. She knew Daniel was smart, but tough had never occurred when she looked at him. Diane's story explained his cast iron control over his emotions, urges and needs. No matter how big the task in front of her seemed before, now it looked downright monumental. No wonder Cassidy had urged her to action as soon as possible.

Apparently, Daniel could cap off his emotions for years and that was a scary thing. The thought that Daniel might never let her love him again was even more scary than the threat of a divorce. She had thought that Cassidy meant that a good bang or spat would sort out the mess and start to heal their relationship. Now Madison understood that what she really needed to do was somehow reach Daniel's heart and make him feel loved. Given what she knew now, it seemed impossible, and it left her uncertain and blue. Was it already too late?

******

In consideration of this new information, Madison switched tactics for the evening. Her original plan had been to simply overwhelm Daniel with sexual pressure until he cracked and slept with her, but now she knew that would not achieve the goal she had set. Plain sex was just not the answer. What she wanted was for Daniel to feel loved. To do that she would have to somehow show him that she loved him, otherwise given time, Daniel would wall off his heart and then Madison would not be able to reach him.

That left Madison with one option according to Cassidy's analysis. She'd have to fight him. As scary as the prospect of confrontation was, Madison now knew it might be the only way to save her relationship and, perhaps, save Daniel himself. Just as Cassidy had predicted, there really was a danger that Daniel would bury his feelings deep inside himself where they would fester and gradually poison his soul. Her sweet, quiet Daniel would slowly rot from the inside out and become bitter and miserable.

The worst trouble was Daniel had shown the emotional equivalent of a cast iron jaw and Madison wasn't sure she could hit him hard enough, but she had to try. She could not let that happen. She had done this to him, so only she could save him and it had to happen soon. However, Madison wasn't prepared to fight tonight. She needed time to brace and prepare for it, but she also wanted one more chance for the first alternative before she risked it all in a fight. The solution Cassidy proposed all depended on how Daniel reacted on Friday night.

She peeked out the back door and changed her plan. Tonight, she wouldn't try to lure Daniel to her. Tonight, she would go to him. A certain magic inhabited that little cabin. It was Daniel's special place, his safe space, untouched by the evil spirit that haunted their home. It was the place that Daniel had first given her a shy glimpse of a little part of his soul, and maybe there in the cabin, Madison could reach him and touch his heart. The path from the kitchen to the cabin seemed miles long, and trepidation hounded Madison's steps. With a silent prayer, she knocked quietly, and Daniel's chair rolled back from the desk. Madison's heart fluttered in her throat.

"Come in, the door is open."

Madison shyly cracked the door and peeked in from behind her hair.

"Can I come in? I just want to talk."

"Of course," Daniel smirked and walked around his desk to her.

Madison entered and quickly shut the door as Gandalf came to greet her as well. While Daniel hugged her, Gandalf entangled himself around her legs and bawled loudly at her until she reached down and scratched his ears. Daniel led her to the sofa in front of the fire and while she settled into the sofa's embrace, he stoked up the fire. Flush with fuel, the fire flared, and Madison felt a rush of heat on her skin. Daniel settled on the other end of the sofa and smirked for Madison.

"What's up?"

Madison paused. She didn't have a plan for this moment, so she decided to just be honest.