Zebras May Have Some New Stripes...
...But Old Maids Are Still Old Maids
What is going on today? Why are there so many attractive and available women everywhere I look? More and more women are, reluctantly (some happily), making their way without a man and living at home or living alone or living with a female roommate who is hot, also. Not to mention, more and more woman are turning (gulp) lesbian and do not need (gulp, again) men.
"Dude, she has a roommate."
"So, you want me to be the Wingman?"
"No way, Dude, her roommate is gorgeous, too."
"Do you think, maybe, she'll agree to a foursome?"
Then, later, that evening...
"Sorry, Dude, I did not know they were lesbian."
All my friends have these gorgeous daughters that are still single, who do not have a steady boyfriend even, and all are of the mindset that guys are jerks. Okay, that is a point that I cannot defend. Guys are jerks. The good ones are already taken. Sorry, I am taken already but, uhm; give me a call when my girlfriend is not home. We'll talk. See? Darn. I just proved my point. Guys are jerks.
Many of these hot, single women are college educated and have good paying professional jobs. For those guys who think that a good paying professional job for a woman is a job as a hooker or stripper or both, those are not the jobs to which I am referring. I am talking about jobs as Administrative Assistants, Secretaries, Dental Hygienists, Saleswomen, Realtors, Teachers, Nurses, Doctors, Lawyers, and Accountants.
Some of these women are drop dead gorgeous. Others are just plain sweet and do not even know how to spell bitch, do not understand the reason for a divorce settlement or what child support or a restraining order is. (That is, until they marry you.) Yet, what is wrong with you guys? Have you all lost your minds? Hello?
"Commit, commit, commit, you are getting very sleepy, commit, your eyelids are very heavy, commit, you cannot stay awake much longer, commit, you will marry your girlfriend, commit."
"Sorry, Honey, I told you this hypnotism shit does not work on me. Besides, I am not ready to commit to you. Now, can you move out of the way of the big screen so that I can watch the rest of the ballgame?"
I bumped into this woman, Christine, at the mall a few months ago. We worked together for an employer once that I left for a better job. Now, Christine is an ex-model. No, she's not one of those emaciated models; Christine has a nice C cup rack, a round ass, and a designated waistline with a flat toned stomach, and long, shapely legs. Not only does she have a beautiful face, she has a voluptuous body, and, here's the bonus, a brain. She's a college graduate, albeit an Art History major. This is where I will hear from all the Art History majors but seriously, your degree does not translate into dollars in the business world, as would a Bachelors degree in Business.
Nonetheless, she is the total package. I dare say that she intimidates men with her looks and her brain power. And when she wears her reading glasses with her hair pinned up and makeup with that ruby red lip gloss, I imagine her wearing her Catholic high school girl outfit, you know, the one with the plaid skirt, the white blouse, and the knee socks. She tells me that she's been naughty, very naughty and wants me bend her over my knee, lift up her skirt, pull down her panty and spank her. The spanking turns her on so much that she falls to her knees between my legs, unzips me, takes out my cock, and gives me one of those interactive blow jobs where her head is bobbing up and down, as she is moaning. Geez, is it hot in here or is it just me? Suddenly, I'm flushed. Sorry, I digress.
The last that I heard, Christine was going out with this great guy and expecting an engagement ring at Christmas. Well, Santa was not kind to Christine and Christmas came and went without so much as a Victoria Secret gift box of sexy lingerie. This great guy turned out to be a real Bozo. He did not come across with the ring because he could not commit. She bounced him out on the pavement. Hey, I saw this guy and even at my age, I am way better looking than he is, have a better body, (have more modesty), and am a college graduate. This "nitwit" is a loser construction worker, that is, when he works. What she ever saw in him is beyond me. Yeah, yeah, maybe he has a big dick. Why not? He certainly is a dickhead for fucking up that relationship with someone like Christine. Trust me; he will never do better than her.
Note: The author is not implying that all construction workers are losers, only this particular construction worker because he only works in the good weather and then collects unemployment every winter, still lives at home with his mother, and mooches off his friends and relatives.
Now, if I were 10 years younger, okay, okay, 25 years younger, she would be mine.
At what age do you guys anticipate putting an end to the screwing around, getting married, and starting a family? Okay, I hear answers like never, 40-years-old, 60-years-old, and when they make it legal to have more than one wife without mother-in-laws. Now, that is a response that I like. Nonetheless, do you think that these hot, available women who are now in their twenties are going to wait for the likes of you? Most women want to marry before they turn 30. Like Peter Pan always hearing the ticking clock that the crocodile swallowed, once, they hit 25; they begin to hear the clock ticking the time down to when they can still safely have normal babies.
"So, tell me, Freddie, why do you write for Literotica?"
"My Mom gave birth to me when she was in her forties."
"Oh."