"Mornin' Ruth," I said to the receptionist, pausing briefly to take the small stack of those pink phone message slips she was holding up for me. A quick glance showed that there weren't any that needed a call-back anytime soon; more fodder for File 13.
"Good morning Mr. Lentz!" she replied in that irritating oh-so-cheerful and perky voice.
Christ, how can someone be so cheerful this early in the morning,
I thought.
Considering she's past retirement age, with grandchildren... well, I guess even old ladies get laid once in awhile. And how many times do I have to tell people 'my name is Todd! Mr. Lentz is my father!'
"She's expecting you," Ruth said, "and she's in one of her moods."
"Great," I sighed.
Boss Lady on the rag again... so what else is new?
is what I wanted to say, but knowing that this particular little old lady has quite a big mouth, I figured it was best to just keep that thought to myself. "Yeah, okay Ruth... thanks."
Well, Boss Lady can just wait a fuckin' minute 'til I get my coffee!
is what I really wanted to say...
"Oh, this is going to be a bee-u-ti-ful day!" I groaned aloud when I noticed that someone else had beat me to the last cup and didn't bother making a fresh pot.
"TODD! YOUR ASS, MY OFFICE. NOW!!"
"Huh?" I nearly dropped the empty carafe when I heard her familiar bark. "Oh, yeah, okay Pam... I'm, I was just..."
"FORGET THE FUCKING COFFEE! WHAT PART OF THE WORD 'NOW' DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!?" the Regional Manager roared again as she stormed out of the little kitchen.
Shit! Now what did I do?
My mind scrambled to try and figure it out. All my stores turned in good numbers this week; all above target, good cash, inventories all good. (Ever get those paranoid thoughts running around in your head when you're about to get your ass chewed and you don't know why?)
I followed her down the hall to her office.
Hmmm... wonder why I've never noticed 'til now how nice her ass looks when she's wearing a dress. GET AWAY FROM THESE THOUGHTS, NOW! Okay... I'm okay now. Just a little nervous, that's all. What the fuck did I do? A dress? She's wearing a dress? She never wears a dress... mostly a suit, with pants... but a dress?
Pam held the door for me, then closed it gently once I was inside.
What? No slamming? What the hell is going on here?
"Please, have a seat. Care for some coffee? Just brewed it," my boss smiled as she sat on the edge of her desk, taking her time to cross her legs.
"Todd," she started.