Greetings, reader. This is a story written on a prompt from a friend of mine. She wanted something cringy, and this is what came out. I'm posting in this section because of how it's written. It's still erotica, and if you can successfully rub one out then more power to you, but the point here is to have a laugh. Enjoy.
Hello, my name is Agnes. I am a girl. My best friend's name is Bartholomew, and he is a boy. This is the story about how we fell in love together.
A little about myself first. I am short. I am thick, but I have a slim waist and big boobies. I am curvy too. I am very pretty. I have dirty blonde hair and blue eyes, and I am very pretty. I know that I am pretty because Bartholomew tells me I am, and I trust him because I love him and he loves me.
We love each other because we are so close together. We grew up next door to each other, and we are neighbors. But when I say we are close together I mean that we are very close friends, not just because we live close together. We grew up together, and we have always been friends, and there is nobody I trust more than Bartholomew.
A little about Bartholomew too: he is very tall. He has always been much taller than me, and he was very skinny growing up. However, once he grew up he started developing muscles. He is still lean, but his body is muscly. I like his muscles. I like when he doesn't have a shirt on because I can check him out, but I've never told him so. He has brown hair and eyes, and I like his face because he smiles when he looks at me. I know he loves me because he looks out for me, and he smiles when he sees me, and like I said before, we are very close.
We even went to colleges here in the city where we grew up, so we lived next door until we were in our 20s. It was mostly a way to save money, but I also liked that I got to keep living next to my best friend Bartholomew.
Or at least I got to keep living next to him until he moved after college to be closer to his job. He was still living in the same city because that's where his job was, but I was still sad because we would not be neighbors anymore.
"I am sad we will not be neighbors anymore," I told him, while we were moving his things into his car.
"I know, I'm sad too," he said, with a sad look on his face. "But you can still visit any time, and that makes me feel better."
It made me feel better too, and I told him so. "It makes me feel better too," I said to him.
Then he looked at me and smiled, and it made me smile too, and I knew that we both felt better.
Then when he moved, I missed him a lot, and we would text each other or talk on the phone every day.
"I miss you a lot," I would say to him.
"I know. I miss you too," he would say back to me.
Then I was thinking of what to say next when he said, "you should come over this weekend. I'm almost done getting my apartment settled, so you should visit me."
"I would love to visit you!" was my response. I was so excited to see Bartholomew again!
"I would like that," he said. "It's Thursday now. Want to come over tomorrow?"
We talked some more, and I could tell that we were both smiling while we were talking on the phone. I was excited, and I could tell that he was excited too. It made me happy to know he was happy we would see each other soon.
"I'm so happy we'll see each other soon," he said.
"I know. I can't wait. I'm so excited I'll have trouble sleeping tonight," I gushed.
"I'm excited too, but getting all the furniture ready has me so tired I'll probably sleep easy tonight," he replied. "It will be hard to get everything ready before you come over tomorrow, but I'll try my best."
"It's okay!" I said, "I'll pick up some food before I come over, and we'll eat at your new place, ok?"
"Yeah, that sounds good," he said. "Anyway, it's getting late, so I better get some rest for tomorrow."
"Ok," I said, "I'll try to get some rest for tomorrow too! Good night! I love you!"
"I know," he said, "I love you too. Good night!"
We hung up the phone, and I realized that it was the first time we told each other "I love you." I had butterflies in my stomach a little bit thinking about it, because I was nervous about saying it, and I was also excited to see him tomorrow, and I was excited that he said it back to me too. I felt warm and happy all over.
I was really happy all over. Even down there. I slipped my hand down under my panties and touched. Yep, I was wet down there, and my clit was tingly as I pressed my palm into it and slipped a finger between my lips.
I had never told anybody, but this was my secret nightly routine. Once everything was quiet I would let my mind wander and enjoy touching my body. I didn't always have an orgasm, but it was nice to be touched. Sometimes I would play with my boobies and tease my nipples because they were so sensitive. Other times I would masturbate.
I let out a sigh and pressed my hips upward, grinding my clit into my palm. Then I dipped my two middle fingers in. Tonight was going to be a masturbation night on account of how excited I was and because of the butterflies in my stomach. I pushed my two fingers in and curled them a little, then rocked my hips and hand together over and over. It felt so nice, and I was getting really worked up.
I went faster, and my other hand pulled at one of my nipples. Suddenly I gasped, and I was cumming. It was so sudden but so good. I decided to keep going and rubbed another one out. I was satisfied, but it still felt nice to touch. I played with my boobies until I fell asleep.
When I woke up I got started on my day right away. I couldn't wait to see Bartholomew again. It made me so impatient that the day felt very long until he texted me when he got done working.
"Hey. I got done working" he said when he texted me.
"Hey. Want me to come over?" I was smiling as I typed it.
"Yeah! I am almost done moving furniture," he replied. "I want you to come over."
"Okay," I texted back. I'm going to take a shower and then pick up dinner and I'll be on my way."
"Okay," he replied.
I took a shower and got dressed in some short shorts and a tee shirt. I was happy it was warm outside since it was summer. I went and got dinner from our favorite Chinese place, and then I went to his new apartment.
I called him.