Episode One: When Howie Met Cinda
Part 2
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NOTE TO THE READER - This is Part 2 of a four-part story. This part can be read independently, but the story might be better appreciated by starting with Part 1.
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When Dexter Spielmann of MicroHard's Ganymede outlet called Howie Ricardo at work to tell him that his new, Beta model, Sweetheart 459 andro-companion was ready to be picked up, Howie sprang from his chair, did an excited little dance, slipped, fell painfully, and then gave himself the rest of the afternoon off on the pretext of visiting the infirmary. Actually, he went home to spruce himself up to meet his new android.
Just as he was about to leave his apartment, it occurred to him that, if he was going to bring his new android home that evening, he might want to do something about his extensive collection of holo-porn. He had no idea what she'd make of it. He puzzled over where to hide the little discs, but didn't have much time to work it out. In the end, he figured that she wouldn't be rummaging around in the refrigerator because she didn't need food. So he stuffed them in the otherwise almost empty freezer section. They pretty much filled it up.
Then, at exactly 16:22, Howie left his little apartment and hustled along the moving walkway, weaving in and out of the rush hour crowd of people and over to MicroHard. The company was keeping the Beta testing very secret and had refused to show him a holo-pic, a old-fashioned photo or even a rough sketch or wiring diagram of his new girl friend. He'd been waiting months to see her, and now he was so excited, he was trembling.
He knew he was going to have a hard time forcing himself to bargain about the price. Even though they were offering her to him at much less than the final model would fetch, it would still be a major strain on Howie's limited budget. Unless she was a complete disaster, he knew that he would pay the amount he'd been quoted, if he had to. But he was hoping that a little dickering might save him a few bucks. That is, if he wasn't too horny and too impatient to dicker.
When Howie walked into the store, Spielmann, wearing a neat white shirt and a name tag, was waiting for him behind the counter. He walked quickly to the door, glanced around to make sure no one was looking, then locked up and turned on the
CLOSED
sign. He moved awkwardly, bouncing with each step, as if unused to Ganymede's low gravity.
"So, how much do you know about the Beta model, Mr. Ricardo?" he asked.
"Well, I know it's nicknamed the 'Cyber-Angel' and it's supposed to be a very big advance over your current model," Howie answered, "the one everyone calls 'plasti-pussy' [at which, the store manager winced] and which most people think isn't really much better than a walking, talking version of the old, twentieth century inflatable dolls.
"I mean, even though plasti-pussy comes in different skin colors, there are a very limited number of faces and body types, and only one personality available. And that personality isn't very realistic or interesting, or even all that pleasant. And you have to admit, the faces don't look that real either. And frankly, they're just not that attractive. Plus, the sensation of... or... umm.. on penetration is a lot like fucking a box of cling-wrap. And I've been told that it doesn't feel much like making love to a real woman either. So… can I see the Beta now?"
"Well, when you say you've 'been told' that the sensation is different," Spielmann asked, ignoring Howie's question, "am I to understand that you've actually never utilized the services of our current model? Which is, of course, properly called the 'Eager Ethel Personal Andro-Companion'."
"No, no," Howie said, "I'm actually a pretty good customer down at the Rental Center DuPimp runs. And I'll call them Ethels if that makes you happier."
"Call them what you want," Spielmann shrugged. "In fact, some of us at MicroHard still call them 'Melissa'."
When he saw Howie's brow knit in confusion, he explained, "The company founder's wife was named Melissa. She wasn't all that good-looking, so some wise guy started referring to Ethels as 'Melissa'. He got fired, of course, but the name stuck, at least in-house."
"Anyway, not to get sidetracked, if you
have
used Ethel,... would that mean you're actually a… you know, a virgin? I mean, that you've never had relations with a real woman?" Spielmann asked tentatively.
Howie bristled a little, not at the suggestion that he was a virgin, which, of course, he was, but at the attitude that his virginity was somehow remarkable.
"You
must
be just up from Earth," Howie said curtly. Even an Earthie would have noticed that the population of Ganymede was 95% male. But perhaps it hadn't occurred to Spielmann that, as a result, the vast majority of men who, like Howie, had grown up on Ganymede, had never had sex with an actual human woman.
"I arrived yesterday, with the Beta model," Spielmann answered.
Yesterday?
Howie thought.
Yesterday! They've been here a whole day and didn't call me until now!
But he took a deep breath and said, "Yes, like a lot of guys who grew up here, I'm a virgin." He thought,
I did have that "accident", making out with Heidi Hellerman in the back row of the holo theater in high school, but I don't think that really counts.
"It's not that unusual for a male here to be inexperienced," he continued. "There are so many men and so few women that a lot of guys just never get an opportunity.
"Most of the people here are contract miners, who are nearly all men, and come out for 5-year tours. It's so expensive to get workers out here that the company won't let them bring wives or girl friends. The managers, professionals and executives, some of whom are women, some of whom are men,
are
allowed to bring their families. But that still doesn't add up to a lot of single, adult females.
"With the cost of getting here, no working person can come out on his …or her… own, so there aren't even any prostitutes. And DuPimp sure isn't about to pay to bring them out. Instead, they operate the plasti-pu… I mean Ethel …, you know, companion… rental center, and that's what most guys get. Although they do charge an arm and a leg. I think DuPimp just sees it as another way to make money, rather than as providing a necessary service for their employees.
"Me, I came out here with my folks when I was 6. The company brought my father out to be the first manager of the colony, and he's still doing it. I've had a good life so far, a good education and a good job, but never a whiff of a real woman.
"Then you're just the man for Lucinda!" Spielmann said, beginning to sound more like a salesman.
" 'Lucinda'?" Howie asked. "Is that her name? Should I call her 'Lucy'?"
"Actually, we've been calling her 'Cinda'," Spielmann replied. "But that's just a temporary name until you...or whoever buys her if you decide to pass, gives her a real, permanent name.
"So, let me tell you a little more about her. She is, as you say, vastly superior to our current model. There are just 17 Betas, and this is the only one out here. There are two on Mars, one at Luna, one on the EU Space Station and the other 12 are on Earth.
"All the Betas have the same body type, but we're pretty sure most men will be very happy with it. She's sort of petite: 5'4" and appears to be about 110 pounds. The final version will, of course, offer a wide variety of shapes.
"But even the Beta comes with a choice of 125 very realistic faces, ranging from young cherub to nasty slut. And I'll warn you: they're all gorgeous, and choosing one is impossible. You'll want them all. We can set her up overnight with whichever face you choose. And for a small fee, we can switch her later. We can even work from a holo-pic or a photo and give her a face that isn't one of the pre-sets. But that takes a little more time and costs a little extra. And frankly, there are so many good pre-set choices, why bother?
"Her hair can be any color you want and she can change it herself in only a few seconds. Same with her makeup. Want her to be a redhead? Just tell her. Blonde? You got it instantly. She even has a selection of pubic tattoos…eighteen to chose from."
Howie looked around the store, then over Spielmann's shoulder toward the darkened storage area, trying to find the android and finally get a look at her. He thought he saw movement in the storage area shadows.
"She's also ten times as smart as Ethel," Spielmann went on. "She's got more than 100 billion data storage and processing units."
Howie pursed his lips thoughtfully. "One of my friends in IT said that, if a computer had enough DSPUs, it might become self-aware, have feelings, emotions and who knows what," he said. "Any sign of that?"
"No, of course not," Spielmann scoffed. "Lucinda has twenty-two built-in, switchable personalities. But they're just programs, and she's just a machine."
Howie thought he heard a small, strangled noise from the back room.
"But her personalities are very convincing," Spielmann continued. "The choices go from totally self-absorbed bitch, to silly teenager, to sophisticate, to artiste, to lady-in-the-parlor-whore-in-the-bedroom. She can even be a nagging harpy. We figure guys who miss their mother will go with that option, at least around the holidays. But just decide what
you