I wrote this spontaneously as a tribute to those role playing novels that make you choose one action or the other. It doesn't play the same. It's not a game. It's just a parody of the genre. Enjoy.
*****
I was staying down south with a college friend for a week. Barry lived alone with his mum. She had a nice big house a few miles outside of the city in a peaceful rural expanse.
Now that might seem perfect to someone a little older than your average college student. I'm nineteen in August and have no plans to retire to the country when I've picked up my qualifications. But whereas peace and quiet is nice for an easy night's sleep, it's a pain getting to and from a nightclub, shitfaced or not, when you're out in the sticks; and that's what we planned to do lots of.
I've known Barry for just over a year but we're good friends. I wouldn't say we were best friends. We don't hang around all the time outside college but I'm one of few friends he seems to have.
He lives with his dad outside of holiday time and they seem to do a lot together. When I got the invite to stay over, I didn't jump at the chance but considering all else I'd be doing that summer, it seemed a good deal to break up the weeks.
Teresa, Barry's mum, was stunning and even in her mid-forties, which struck me the more I learned about her. I thought single older women tended to let themselves go since they weren't trying to stay attractive.
Well, Barry was quick to fill me in. He had grown accustomed to the fact that she was staying single and playing away or having company whenever she saw fit.
A lot of the time she would work around his absences, but he was no stranger to the close company of strangers, being introduced to them casually as if the only big deal was the fact that he had fuck all clue who they were.
She was 5'4" with short chestnut brown hair with a few graceful streaks of grey. She was pretty and youthful otherwise, with almost flawless pale white skin and an air of contentment about her.
She was so well-drawn with laughter lines, a picture of happiness. And that's where I guessed that money could buy happiness. She didn't seem short of it.
The large house, no husband, financially secure; she was living the dream.
Heading into the weekend before I would leave to go back to work Barry and I spent the Friday out on the town.
In all honesty I was bored. We'd done a lot of drinking that week. I needed to recover more than anything. Meanwhile he was busily getting into some schooly-looking blonde while her awkward, gawky friend rolled her eyes at me and looked the other way every twenty seconds.
Yeah, I thought, biting my tongue. You're the authority on shits and giggles. So what am I?
By midnight I was completely pasted, knocking back drinks to kill the boredom and he had found his next future girlfriend.
I don't think his beer goggles were working properly. All I saw was an overweight, fifty year old village hag with pink hair, dressed like a woman police officer.
'Good luck with that,' Baz, I said under the deafening cacophony of synth, drum and bass. 'Not with getting into her knickers. Getting rid when you see what you've done.'
Do I-
A.) Go back to the house for some much needed sleep?
Or-
B.) Watch over my friend dutifully to make sure he isn't devoured whole by the police impersonating raving cockbeast?
Answer: THERE AIN'T NO OPTION B, MOTHERFUCKER!!
I made my excuses and goodbyes and left. I was back at the house by 3pm and the light of the next day was already on the horizon like fading ink.
I snuck in using the spare key, tip-toeing to my room like a drunken ninja to the sound of Teresa breathing heavily in her sleep from within the master bedroom.
The next morning I woke up dehydrated and bursting to use the bathroom, my bladder feeling crippled as soon as I could move. I wasn't sure if I'd heard right. Surely I'd awoken to the sound of splashing water. But as I sat and listened longer, not a sound was made.
Tentatively I crept out of my room and towards the bathroom in the bright sunlight of the morning and found the door partially open. It was then that I heard the water ripple and Teresa rubbing against the bottom of the bath as she ajdusted herself to sit up.
I guess I just couldn't help myself...
Through the crack of the door hinge I could see her lying back in the bath from the waist up. Condesnsation beaded and dripped from her bare flesh as the combination of steam and sunlight held her in a golden glow.
My heart thunked heavily in my chest like a brick. And then my mouth fell open, though I had suddenly somehow forgotten how to breathe.
She had quite pert breasts. Nothing overwhelming, two handfuls. But they were a perfect shape with the most sensual nipples I had ever seen; still very pink and largely protruding, even in the heat of the moment.
I couldn't believe my eyes then, when all of a sudden she pulled out of the water a huge flesh coloured dildo and then lifted her hips up out of the water, exposing her steamy pink pussy. She began to run the head of the toy up and down against her clit and between her labia.
The sound of her wet pussy against that toy, her soft breathing moans - I was matching her gasps breath for breath as I stood watching.
Teresa turned the head of the dildo onto herself then and as she pushed, slowly parting her lips and inviting herself to be fucked she held her breath, and so did I, before the air seemed pushed from her mouth to make room for the phallus sliding so easily into her.
'Oh my f-
She stopped suddenly, turning her ear to the doorway from which the voice came, withdrawing the dripping hard cock from her pussy and lowering herself back into the steaming water.
'Hello?' she called out.
SHHHIT!! I took a few steps back so that my voice would sound more distant, trying to fool her in our unwitting moment of panic.
What do you do?
A.) Answer back innocently and deny everything?
Or...
B.) Creep away as if you weren't there at all?
THERE AIN'T NO OPTION B, MOTHERFUCKER!!
'Morning,' I called out, facing away so that my voice might sound more distant. Hopefully that might fool her. 'Is there anyone in the bathroom?'
'Yes darling, I'm in the bath-
Oh thank fuck.
