The Winning Butt

The Winning Butt

I was sitting there, minding my own business and being my normal quiet lovable self, when the three women walked up to me. Being the only guy sitting alone in the bar, I'd seen these three women sitting at a table with their guys. It was Wednesday night and we were the only people in the bar.

I wasn't staring at them or doing anything to draw attention to myself because I was sitting in a booth and typing one of my erotic stories on my laptop. I had been on a roll writing, so I really didn't notice, until I'd just swallowed my next mouthful of Irish Death Ale, that the three women had come to my booth.

"Excuse me. We hate to bother you, but we need you to settle a bet for us," the blonde stated.

"OK," I answered. "Why me and not your guys over there?"

"They are our husbands and they are way too biased for what we need to know," the blonde said.

"OK. How can I help you?"

"Which one of us has the best butt?" she inquired.

The three of them turned and stood there.

"Um, I don't think I can answer that."

"Why not?"

"Well for one thing I can't sit here and examine your butts with your husbands over there. I could end up getting my ass kicked."

"They won't mind. Watch," the blonde instructed.

The blonde ringleader turned and gave the guys the 'OK' sign and the man who was, apparently, her husband waved and returned the sign.

"See? He is OK and so are the other two."

"OK, for another thing, how do I know that your butts are not being shaped by the clothes you are wearing?"

"What?"

"Well I know that there are jeans and slacks out there that women wear to shape their butts and make them look bigger or smaller or rounder or flatter."

"So, you need to see our butts without anything that might shape them?"

"Only if you want a fair and honest judging job done."

The three women looked at each other and smiled and then turned their backs to me again and after their hands fiddled in front of them, all of a sudden they dropped their pants, bent all the way over, and all three pushed their pants to their ankles. First thing I noticed was that the blonde had the hairiest pussy I had ever seen. Her pussy was also a little fat and puffy.

The woman on the left had a shaved slit that ran all the way around from the top of her butt crack to the front, as far as I could see. The one on the right, had long labia that protruded out of her dark pubic hair. All three then stood and placed their hands on their hips. The ringleader turned her head and looked at me.

"Well?"

"Well, the one on the left is nice and round. The one in the middle is kind of small and very cute. The one on the right is kind of heart-shaped. All of them are extremely beautiful."

"But which one is the best?"

"As a single guy, my usual answer to that kind of question would be 'The one I can play with' but that isn't going to happen."

"What not? Go ahead and touch mine. You can squeeze it and feel it as much as you want."

"You are trying to get me killed by your husbands, aren't you?"

"Don't worry about them. Go ahead."

I reached out and took her butt cheeks in my hands. They were soft with a nice firmness beneath the flesh and each cheek had a bit if a jiggle to it when I lifted them and dropped them. The middle woman's butt was very firm and had very little give to it. It didn't shake at all when I jiggled her tight globes. The lady on the right was firm and had a nice jiggle to it.

"OK. I think I can give you my answer now."

"OK, who has the best butt?"

"If I was to pick a butt to cuddle with it would be you."

I pointed to the woman on the left.

"If I was going to pick based on the one I would like to fuck, it would be you."

I pointed to the middle woman.

"If I was picking the one to watch as it walked away, it would be you."

I pointed to the lady on the right.

"But if I had to pick only one, it would be the one on the husband on the left side of the table. He is fucking hot."

"WHAT?"

The three of them pulled up their underwear and then their pants and went back to their husbands and told them the results. The three men just exploded in laughter. The three women were incensed. The guy on the left, the winner, stood and came over to my booth.

"That was really funny. Can I buy you a beer?"

"Sure. By the way, once the winner was picked, what was the prize?"

"The winner got to go home with you."