The royal courier pounded on her chamber door; by order of the King he was to deliver a summons, an urgent message in the dark of the night. The courier breathed a sigh of relief as the door unlatched and swung open; the warrior that stood before him was a familiar and impressive sight.
The dashing cape-wearing woman mercenary was known only as Loola. She was famed throughout the realms for both her bravery and her public campaign demanding better armor for women. Female warriors, she argued, shouldn't have to march into battle wearing skimpy metal bikinis whilst their male counterparts were covered head to toe in iron plate and chainmail. The armorers, all male by profession, didn't share her concerns but they had reluctantly agreed to form a committee to investigate the metal bikini problem. Two years later they were yet to release any findings to the public.
The royal courier presented a rolled parchment. Loola broke the King's wax seal and hurriedly read the message; it was, as she suspected, a true emergency; the royal family was in desperate need.
When she arrived, the palace was in a state of upheaval. Lords and ladies, dukes and duchesses, were stuck together in noisy clumps, glued by some sticky web-like material. Soldiers worked to pry them apart on the lawn.
Queen Zinnia and Princess Petunia frantically shouted directions to a few royal guards; the guards carried ladders and chased after some kind of long armed animal that swung easily through the trees and howled loudly.
The King stood amidst a crowd of sticky advisors, barking orders. He stopped and ordered them away when he spotted the famed warrior approach.
Loola knelt before the King.
"Please rise." King Rudyard said. "The royal family has need of your service."
Loola stood. "Yes Your Highness, I am at your service, of course."
"Yes Loola, you have always been loyal and steadfast. I need your help now more than ever..." King gestured to the chaos. "That cursed witch did this! Sinestria Bloodhex. We were celebrating the royal wedding when she shows up and ruins everything!"
"What do you wish of me Your Highness?"
"My son, the Crown Prince, has been altered by Sinestria."
"Uh, you don't mean to say that animal up in the trees... that uh monkey..."
The King waved dismissively. "Gibbon actually, but never mind that. Sinestria has to be found, my court wizard believes that only she can undo it. Loola, I need to know where this witch makes her lair."
"Your Highness, I don't see how I can help... wouldn't your wizard be of more use divining her secret hideout?"
"This sorceress has taken precautions against magic, so we will need more conventional methods." He paused, grimacing. "I fear that Sinestria isn't through with her revenge yet. In fact, she's raising an army of bandits; Loola I need you to infiltrate them."
*********
As happened all too often, Loola felt terribly underdressed. She drew her blue cape around her shoulders trying to cover some of the skin left exposed by her skimpy armor. It was not what she had wanted at all. She had ordered a sturdy breastplate but the male armor smith had instead made two small ones linked together by a metal clasp and strapped on by flimsy leather bands that went around her shoulders and fastened at the back. He had also made each polished conical plate rise to a point, supposedly to deflect arrows. She was just as embarrassed about the bottom half of her suit of armor. It amounted to little more than chain mail pantalettes with a tiny triangle of shiny plate armor affixed to the front and rear.
Loola sighed and marched on into the congregation of mercenaries. Being a woman warrior was never easy.
Around the forest clearing there was a gathering, some men but mostly orcs; all were heavily armed. Their focus turned to the woman entering into the camp. Toward the center of the encampment was a man seated at a desk; to either side stood two very large orc guards.
Must be the man in charge, thought Loola. Before she could reach him, Loola was grabbed from behind. She wheeled about and a strong orc hand gripped a handful of fabric and yanked hard. The cape came loose, leaving Loola wearing only the skimpy metal bikini in front of all those leering eyes.
She tried to stay cool, tried to ignore the heat of her blushing skin and push past the brutes. Then a hand slapped her bottom hard; knocking her forward. Loola whirled around furiously: "Okay, who did that?" The orcs whistled and pointed at each other.
