Hello, Sir and welcome to the Institute!
Thank you so much for agreeing to come in today and help us test our newest device. The data we collect and your feedback will be most useful in bringing this great new product to market and helping men everywhere achieve heights of sexual satisfaction never before attainable. I can't tell you how excited we are about this breakthrough. It's really going to take the industry to a whole new level. I'll explain everything as we go along and I'll be here at all times. I assure you that your safety is our first concern, so please just relax and enjoy the experience!
Now if you'll please step into the cubicle here and remove all your clothing and put on the patented Sensor Smock required for the test, we can begin. The Smock itself is an integral part of the new system. It's made of a special conducting micro-filament material that picks up your vital signs and transmits them directly to our computers while still being reasonably loose. It's vital that we have unimpeded access to the genital area and yet we also need to monitor your physical state at all times. It's really revolutionary and so much more pleasant than the traditional stick-on sensors.
All changed? Step this way, please.
Now please get up onto the special contoured platform and make yourself comfortable. Place your right leg on the right leg rest and the left leg on the other leg rest. That's great. Hold still just a minute while I tighten the straps. Oh yes, I assure you it's quite necessary to strap the legs at both the ankle and thigh. It's for your own safety! Very good. Now let's do the arms. Take a minute to test the straps, please. Everything looks quite secure and snug. Nothing's pinching I hope? Good! Let me place the vision shield over your eyes now. I know it seems like it's not necessary, but for testing purposes we need to have data that is as pure as possible, without outside influences and well, you know a lot of men are quite visually oriented. I hope you understand. Thank you! I'll be right here and will explain everything as we go along.
I'm going to use the platform remote control now to move your body into the proper position and alignment. You'll hear the motor running and feel the various parts of the platform shift, but I promise you won't be made uncomfortable in any way! Ok. Now you should feel the leg rests moving outward. Please tell me when you feel it's as wide as it can go without discomfort. Great. Now you will feel your upper body and legs move downward and your hips rise. Oh, yes, there are several reasons we must do that. For one, it gives us maximum access to the necessary areas and secondly, it prevents you from attempting to control the action yourself by making any hip thrusting movements quite impossible, which is important for data purity. If you'll try it now, you'll see what I mean. Excellent! We can proceed.
You'll feel my hand on your leg now. I'm going to raise the hem of your smock up to your waist and prep the area. Oh excellent! I see you are already aroused. That makes my job so much simpler! I need to do a quick shave here so the sensors can get proper readings. I promise I'll be careful and gentle. Our shaving lotion is the best available -- guaranteed to moisturize, lubricate and avoid any irritation at all, while providing a smooth clean shave. It's best if you try not to think too much about my hands touching and manipulating you. I assure you I am a competent professional and this will only take a few minutes!
There! Now that wasn't so bad, was it?
