The Greatest Story Ever Told,
OR...
Bi*ch hid my Viagra/The worst story ever told.
{Trying a fantasy...Lee}
I was happy when the doorbell rang, I knew she was coming. I had been planning for it all day.
Her name was Mysty, I didn't have a fucking clue why she spelled it that way, I suppose just to make herself mysterious and all that shit.
I didn't care, I just wanted to hose the broad, hell, she was coming on to me all day and all night at the piece of shit conveyer lines where we worked side by side.
Packages all day all night no end to the goddamn things, I liked the ones marked "fragile" I just pitched them as hard as I could into the fucking bins.
Sometimes I would be rewarded with the crash of glass, some stupid rich son of a bitch's precious artworks all shot to hell, fuck'em, fuck'em all.
If they paid for insurance, no problem, most of the cheap bastards didn't bother, I loved that part, $100 that's it...you lose pal...
Like I said, I hated it. Dead fucking trees wrapped around some asshole's precious piece of shit, just to get it someplace nobody gives a fuck about...I hated the idea, but hell, this IS a goddam Earth Day Contest, ain't it? I gotta say something about the environment to qualify. So it's the goddam dead trees...
Where was I?
I suppose Mysty got bored or something with that snotnose skinny husband of hers, God I wanted to just pop the little piece of shit. I couldn't, I would get fired from my $8.37 an hour job, because he worked in routing and was my "superior".
I hated it but it kept me in beer and the landlord off my ass.
Mysty, damn her, first it was a tank top. Then no bra, her big fat tits hung halfway down to her waist, drove me plumb nuts. Hell I had a woody poking out all goddam day watching her, then trying not to.
Big old tits just kinda rolled left and right, I made up my mind. I was going to fuck the bitch, one way or another!
I had my wife, Kathy at home. She kept the house clean, cooked. Sat on her ass and got fat mostly besides that. Suck my dick was out of the question, one time every 3 months was enough, shit she would just lay there like this was fun. Took me maybe 30 seconds to get a load off, damn near couldn't feel it. Then jump up and shower, shower, shower, sometimes for 30 to 45 minutes even a fucking goddam HOUR trying to get what she just suffered off her.
Yep, I was going to get me a chunk of Mysty...
Got it all worked out, Kathy was gone to her Mom's, I had 3 days. I just wandered up to Mysty, scratching my ample stomach through the hole in my Richard Petty T-Shirt, a collector's item for sure! I knew she would be impressed by that, let's face it, how many guys got one?
Told her, "Wanna come over for some brews, got the weekend to myself!"
She laughed, then said, "Sure." Hell, I knew she would. I watched her butt as she walked away, wobbling from side to side as far as she could swing it. Her jeans were at least two sizes too tight, what the hell, better than what I had at home.
I was on my 3rd beer when she knocked on the door, I let her in. Mysty was dressed nasty, I had counted on that. The yellow halter top covered her up but her big fat boobs were still obvious as hell.
Topping it off was she had on cutoff jeans, she wore them high enough to cover the few rolls she had in the middle. She was sopping wet. I looked outside, I hadn't realized it was raining, it sure was a dark and stormy night! Wind was up, raining like hell.
I cracked, "Better let me help you out of those wet things!" expecting nothing.
She goes, "Oh, Ok."
I stood there suddenly not knowing what to do. Shit, this was going a bit too fast, anyway, I got my courage up and managed to reach for her top.
Sure as hell, those massive things swung free and slid down over the rolls, I gave them a couple of feels and tweaked her nipples. Her nipples were the size of a saucer, I ain't kidding, big'un! But then her tits were big'uns too!
This was easy. I though about my woody, it was kinda hanging there, I realized I needed a bit of help. Them damn 3 beers, well, 5 but still, they were slowing things down a bit.
So I excused myself, wandered into the bathroom. I had my box of "Hair color for Men" in there, I kept my stash of Viagra there. Hell, who knows? A Man's gotta be ready when opportunity knocks...
