WARNING: This is a satire on Tentacle Porn. What is described is a fantasy with a mythical creature. Do not attempt to duplicate this in your fish-tank.
Copyright Oggbashan January 2004
The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.
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Anne-Marie walked over to the glass side of the seawater tank and watched her favourite inmate, Arnold the giant squid. He swam to the window and his huge eye stared unwinkingly at her.
Three months ago he had been tangled in a deep-sea trawler's net. Anne-Marie had been on board studying the marine life that was accidentally trapped in the trawl with the commercial fish the crew wanted.
It had been her third voyage with the same crew. By that voyage they knew that unless they could live in the sea Anne-Marie wasn't interested. The marine biologist had made her preference for aquatic life clear with a kick in the balls if words hadn't got the message across clearly enough. The crew treated her with the respect they would have for a large shark β a nice specimen to look at but don't get too close.
The captain had been about to declare the voyage complete after this last trawl. Some dirty weather was on the way and he wanted to unload his catch and be in harbour before the sea became too unfriendly. Then the giant squid got in the way of the trawl. When he was hauled on deck he had damaged the equipment beyond repair at sea and was injured himself. The crew would have dumped him overboard but Anne-Marie pleaded with the captain. Her offer of hard cash for Arnold clinched the argument.
A tank was flooded with seawater and Arnold was lowered into it still tangled with the trawl. Anne-Marie in a figure hugging wetsuit entered the tank to a serenade of admiring whistles from the crew. She cut much of the tangle surrounding Arnold and the crew dolefully lifted the remains of their equipment from the tank.
Anne-Marie couldn't untangle Arnold completely, as the sea became too rough for her to remain in the tank. Once they had reached port and unloaded the catch the trawler eased its way across the harbour to the Marine Institute. A radio message from Anne-Marie had arranged for Arnold's reception. Some irritated sharks had been displaced to a smaller tank to give Arnold the largest one.
A mobile crane lowered a massive bucket into the sea beside the trawler. The trawler's winch and A frame lifted the giant squid in a rope cradle and lowered him into the bucket that was just awash. The mobile crane lifted the bucket and Arnold over the dockside and through the sliding roof of the Institute to lower the giant squid into his temporary home.
The intention had been to retrieve the rope cradle but Arnold wrapped his tentacles around it like a small child clinging to its favourite teddy bear. They left the cradle to be removed later.
For the first few days Arnold lay quiescent, scarcely moving. Anne-Marie entered the tank frequently to disentangle the remaining shreds of the trawler's equipment from Arnold. Two divers were with her at all times to ensure her safety. The waste of manpower had annoyed her but the Institute's Director insisted on their presence.
Eventually the rope cradle was the last item to be removed. Anne-Marie attached a rope to the lifting eyes and edged the cradle away. Arnold opened a large eye. A tentacle moved slowly then grabbed the cradle pulling it towards him. Anne-Marie was enveloped in the netting and dragged with it towards Arnold. The safety divers reacted promptly, slashing at the netting with their knives to release Anne-Marie. She surfaced spluttering because her air hose had been displaced.