The Fifty Ways

Said Art to a very disturbed Simon: "No, no, no you moron! Damn it, Simon! I said Leave. L E A V E. Jesus, what were you thinking?"

The Fifty Ways

The problem is you never listen to me

Instead you think the answer is always A B C

I'd like to help you in your struggle to satisfy me

There must be fifty ways to please your lover

She said it's really not my habit to instruct you

Furthermore, don’t think my statements mean I don’t love you

But I'll repeat myself at the risk of being left unused

There must be fifty ways to please your lover

Fifty ways to leave please your lover

Just give it a smack, Jack

Then give it a pat, Pat

It smells like a coy, Roy

Just make me go “EEEEE”

Lick it for luck, Chuck

You don't need to move your tongue much

Just kiss where she pees, Lee

And satisfy me.

She said it grieves me to be unsatisfied again

I think its time you learned to make some amends

I said I appreciate that and would you please demonstrate

some of those fifty ways

She said why don't we both just sleep together tonight

And I believe in the morning you'll begin to see the light

And then she kissed me and my jeans got really tight

There must be fifty ways to please your lover

Fifty ways to please your lover

Just give it a smack, Jack

Then give it a pat, Pat

It smells like a coy, Roy

Just make me go “EEEEE”

Lick it for luck, Chuck

You don't need to move your tongue much

Just kiss where she pees, Lee

And satisfy me.