A collection of arcane and under-appreciated words. Definitions are included, along with clarification. Also, the word is used in a sentence, where appropriate, to indicate its proper usage in everyday language.
NOTE: An asterisk (*) following a definition indicates that the word and definition are factual and may be found in any good 40 pound dictionary.
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BLAUWOK: The quaint Inuit custom observed during fish gutting contests. The umpire blows a walrus tusk whistle, the contestants drop their fish, and they vigorously pick each other's noses for thirty seconds. A second whistle signals the end of the blauwok, and the contest resumes.
BISONTINE: Pertaining to bison; buffalo-like.* E.g. "You have a lovely figure, Eleanor. Your hindquarters are positively bisontine."
BLAIN: A boil or blister.* E.g. "I shouldn't worry about that blain on your privates, Mr Farquahr. It will go away when your tonker falls off."
BIREME: A galley with two banks of oars.* Editor's note: This is apparently a small kitchen staffed by a double shift of ladies of ill-repute.
BLEWIT: Type of edible toadstool.* E.g. "Dang, Doris! I can see how these here mushrooms got their name. I et some, felt a rumblin' in ma guts, then I blewit in my shorts."
BLUEPETER: Blue flag with white square in center used as ship's signal.* Announces the presence of a dread, highly contagious venereal disease amongst the crew. Vessel is quarantined until tonkers of crewmen turn blue, fall off, and they are no longer infectious.
BOATSWAIN: Naut. Ship's crewmember in charge of equipment and maintence.* In the days of long voyages on sailing ships, a comely boatswain was expected to play an occasional hand of 'hide the salami' with the captain.
BOBSTAY: Naut. Rope used on ship to steady cabin boy whilst pulling a train for officers. Otherwise used to keep ship's pet sheep from falling overboard.
"BOLISSIMA MIA": Ital. Lit.-"My Johnson is Sore." The magnificent aria sung by Dimaggio (ten.) in the third act of the opera "The Sheep Lovers" by Zucchini.
BOEOTIAN: Stupid; dull.* Characteristic of music lovers who sit through the entire seven hour performance of the abovementioned opera.
BOMAN: Well dressed criminal.* E.g. O.J.Simpson, Robert Blake, Michael "Sleepover" Jackson, etc. (As a public service, occasional societal commentary is included amongst the otherwise serious items in the lexicon. These will be kept as brief and infrequent as possible. Ed.)
BONING: 1. Estimating straightness by looking along a row of poles.* (Assuming one can get Kowalski to hold still, of course. Ed.) 2. What Laura gets from Shrubbie on a semi-annual basis.
BONBONIERRE: Small box used for sweetmeats.* E.g. "Hay, Lucille, ya wanna see ma sweetmeats? Lemme jist git this here bonbonierre unzipped."
BOLUS: Rounded mass.* Marlon Brando
BOMBOSITY: The buttocks.* E.g. "Sheeeit, Leroy! That Quanisha gots some kinda bombosity on hersef, huh?"
BORASCO: Violent wind squall.* "Whooie, thet were some kinda borasco, Momma! Now thet it's over, wouldja please hep me pull these here pannies outa ma ass?"
BOOPTIC: Ox-eyed.* E.g. "Now, I'm not saying Ms Cosgrove is booptic, but she can watch a tennis match without moving her head."
BORBORIGMUS: Intestinal sounds.* "Listen, Harold. My transverse colon is singing the tenor part of the Love Duet from "Madama Butterfly."